What to tell overconfident PNMs

[kddani]

There should be an overconfident moms version as well

[tld221]

Originally Posted by chitownxo

One of the young ladies I work with is planning on rushing this fall (she'll be a freshman). She has spent several hours looking at sorority websites to figure out which sorority she is going to join. She's mentioned several chapters that she thinks are beneath her, as she is "blonde and petite" and is sure the top chapter will snatch her up. In fact, she's bought some t-shirts with "her" letters on them already. A couple of us have tried to tell her that's it's a mutual selection process (you may have decided you're a perfect XYZ, but that doesn't mean XYZ will agree). She just looks blankly at us and says, "But I'm blonde and petite." Sometimes you've just got let someone do what they want...and be very glad that your sorority is not at her school.

LMAO. i can't imagine anyone, regardless of age or looks, saying something so narcissistic.

Originally Posted by chitownxo

Oh, I've got a great way to let her future sisters know. Another one of our co-workers is hosting a BBQ next month, and Ms. Blonde and Petite has asked if she can wear "her" letters. My friend happily agreed, and we're both planning on bringing our cameras and taking a few pictures.

LOL i know this post is old but thats hilarious! i SO wish i could do that to overconfident NPHC interests, but that would end their run as an interest, and potentially their social life (and cause for a good ol fashioned beatdown).

plus i'd be just as wrong for telling a GDI to wear XYZ letters.

Originally Posted by 33girl

This is one of the reasons I dislike the term "potential new member" in place of "rushee." It makes it sound like becoming a new member is a sure thing. Rushee is someone going through the rush process, no more, no less. It's much more accurate and doesn't assume anything about your "potential."

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Potential just means they COULD potentially be a new member, it doesn't necessarily mean that they hold potential themselves. It's basically just telling them they are a "maybe" new member; it's not a sure thing. It would definitely be different if members of houses were telling PNMs that they have "potential," however.

again, old, but this bears repeating. the P is way more important than the NM part. just start calling your PNMs "potentials."

[FSUZeta]

speaking of which, i just got back from assisting my daughters chapter during their recruitment and heard of a mom who called panhellenic concerned that there had been a computer glitch since her daughter was only invited back to one house out of a possible 3. no, the glitch was that her daughter had blatantly let it be known that she was only interested in one specific sorority and the sororities all listened to her and all but one dropped her, AND her chosen sorority didn't invite her back. pnms, don't be this stupid.

[KSUViolet06]

In terms of PNMs who are overconfident about getting into certain chapters:

If you think you're the best fit for ABC, chances are good that EVERY OTHER PNM in your group thinks the same thing, and logically, everyone cannot be "perfect for ABC."

That's just how things work.

Also, it doesn't matter if Ally ABC who lives on your dorm floor/is in your class/you met at a fraternity house says "you'd soooo be perfect for us" and "you're sooo in."

Chances are good that alot of girls have a friend in ABC who said the SAME thing.

[RhoGamma09]

When I went through, I remember this one PNM sitting next to me, and we were all leaving the house tour party, and she goes, "WELL! I was dropped from all the other houses, so I KNOW I am coming here, I can sleep well tonight! I dont have to worry about where my bid will be!" She said this while in ear shot of a few members of the house and their faces were priceless.

Needless to say, she didnt get a bid.

[FSUZeta]

some folks just never learn!

[RhoGamma09]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

In terms of PNMs who are overconfident about getting into certain chapters:

If you think you're the best fit for ABC, chances are good that EVERY OTHER PNM in your group thinks the same thing, and logically, everyone cannot be "perfect for ABC."

That's just how things work.

Also, it doesn't matter if Ally ABC who lives on your dorm floor/is in your class/you met at a fraternity house says "you'd soooo be perfect for us" and "you're sooo in."

Chances are good that alot of girls have a friend in ABC who said the SAME thing.

Cheers, I agree.

If you are a PNM reading this and you havent gone through your first round of recruitment yet, I urge you to get any idea of "where you think you belong" out of your head. Think about it this way, do you make friends by looking around a room, finding who looks like what you think you should be friends with, then walking over to them and forcing yourself on them? No. You meet people, get to know them, and then decide.

Its not like high school where people become friends with the "cool kids" just to be cool and have "status" too, (and then end up hating each other and being backstabbing brats).

You dont know a sorority until you MEET the chapter.

[KSUViolet06]

I think alot of overconfidence stems from PNMs having been the "big fish" in their HS environments.

Some girls are most popular, valedictorian, etc. and pretty much the Mother Theresa of their senior class. They've gotten everything they wanted, so they figure "why shouldn't recruitment be any different?"

They don't realize that depending on their school, the entire PNM pool is just as much of a High School Mother Theresa as they are. It's a big shock to them because they've never had to compete for anything.

Parents don't help this either. I find that unless Mom is VERY knowledgeable about recruitment (or has friends who are), she likely assumes that things will simply go her daughter's way, and doesn't really prepare her for the possibility of any sort of disappointment or rejection.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I think alot of overconfidence stems from PNMs having been the "big fish" in their HS environments.

Sooooo true.

I knew nothing about sororities, so my roommate at new student orientation schooled me. "ABC is the best, they're THE sorority to join," she instructed. "XYZ is the worst; nobody wants to join them."

So guess who was my rusher at XYZ when I went through COB? Yep. The orientation roomie.

[carnation]

..another good one for PNMs..

[ellebud]

One piece of advice: Do NOT listen to your mother if she is telling you that you must join a certain house because if you don't....the heavens will fall down. Be it because they don't have the social standing that the mother deems desirable, or they aren't "cute" enough, or that they will drag you down to their level (socially speaking).

This is one of your first grownup decisions. And as a mother it is hard (from personal experience) to keep your mouth shut. Fashion advice: yes. Listening and proffering advice when asked: yes. Support: yes, yes and yes. Manipulating your son or daughter? No.

Make your decision, be proud of it, own it and hopefully Mom (and Dad) will celebrate with you.

[33girl]

Speaking of mothers: we touched on this in another thread, but the "times have changed" spiel bears repeating. Such as:

Mandy, I know your mom was an XYZ at Huge State U and had no problem getting in even though it was the most popular chapter on campus. However, rush is not run like it was in your mother's day. Rules regarding total and quota - that means, how many members each group can take - are far more strictly enforced. The amount of students in college is also far more than it was in your mother's day. Greek organizations are more popular than they were in your mother's day. Also, there's been a lot of grade inflation and there are lots of girls out there with GPAs as good as or better than yours.

(if pertinent) I know your mother had no problem getting into XYZ at Teeny Private College, but you've seen what a difference there is between TPC and HSU. That means sorority rush will be different as well.

[ComradesTrue]

Originally Posted by 33girl

(if pertinent) I know your mother had no problem getting into XYZ at Teeny Private College, but you've seen what a difference there is between TPC and HSU. That means sorority rush will be different as well.

Careful! Some Teeny Private Colleges are quite competitive in their own right!

Just didn't want any PNMs to think that they can sail into the chapter of their dreams just because the school is smaller.

Carry on....

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by ellebud

This is one of your first grownup decisions. And as a mother it is hard (from personal experience) to keep your mouth shut. Fashion advice: yes. Listening and proffering advice when asked: yes. Support: yes, yes and yes. Manipulating your son or daughter? No.

If only all of us were lucky enough to have mothers with ellebud's sense of style...

[ellebud]

I am official embarrassed. But thank you.

Ellebud