Older men? - Page 5

James · #61 07-07-2003, 01:34 AM

Oh I wanted to add: I believe a lot of us miss the point of threads such as these.

We are providing good discussion, analyzing pros and cons, but in reality the person is REALLY asking us whether it will LOOK right to date someone older, a different race, ethnicity, same sex, different religion, etc.

They are looking for reassurance that they are not wierd, different, or will get looked upon hostiley by their peers and authority figures.

Shrug.

Otherwise, why the hell are they asking us if something is going to work out between them and another human being based solely on one arbitray thing lol?

Good discussion nonetheless.

Quote:

Originally posted by James
I think the biggest issue here is both how you think others will perceive you and how you preceive the relationship from a social acceptability perspective. Mostly you are wondering about the approval of your friends and family.

News flash Some of them will like your SO and some will not no matter what lol.

A relationship will either work or not work depending on an enormous amount of factors. We are talking relationship psychology here, and psychology is great at explaining after the fact, but bad at predicting what will happen.

In fact most of the time its rationalization. I doubt many of us really know why or our relationships work or don't in a way that could be clearly expressed.

valkyrie · #62 07-07-2003, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Oh I wanted to add: I believe a lot of us miss the point of threads such as these.

We are providing good discussion, analyzing pros and cons, but in reality the person is REALLY asking us whether it will LOOK right to date someone older, a different race, ethnicity, same sex, different religion, etc.

They are looking for reassurance that they are not wierd, different, or will get looked upon hostiley by their peers and authority figures.

Shrug.

Otherwise, why the hell are they asking us if something is going to work out between them and another human being based solely on one arbitray thing lol?

Good discussion nonetheless.

James, I think you underestimate people sometimes. Do you really think that people are so weak and wrapped up in the opinions of others? LOL, for the sake of our society, I hope not.

I think that when people post questions such as this one, they are looking for more than just a reaction to how they will "look" because of whom they are dating. There *are* issues that arise when there is a large age difference between people, and someone just getting into a dating relationship that involves an age gap and is concerned may want to get other opinions from people who have been there. Don't you think?

James · #63 07-07-2003, 02:04 AM

I hope that i underestimate people a lot lol

Otherwise people are pretty sad

But, maybe not so much here. the problem is that the originally question is not readily reduced. What is she really asking? Whether it will work?

She actually phrased it and I quote:

Quote:

Okay, Im 21, is it wrong for me to like someone who is around 30?

I think a lot of the questions are exactly like that because if they were otherwise they would have been phrased ina different fashion.

If you reread a lot of the answers, they read like an essay answer.

Yes, I feel its good because . . . Reason reason reason.

Or.

No, its terrible .. . reason reason reason.

Usually based on their personal experiences or prejudices.

ZTABullwinkle · #64 07-24-2003, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SlipRock 229
My biggest peeve is really really liking someone...knowing you could treat them better than anyone else, and the other person continues to date jerks and never would "want to ruin" a friendship by dating you....GAH!

While I understand this pet peeve, how about us women who date the men who are telling us what we want to hear, doing the things that we have been craving then *BAM* all of a sudden...I am not ready for something serious!"

Believe me, I have had my fair share of male friends who have dated women who have taken them/are taking them for a ride. My best friend being one of them as we speak! Any woman who would rather have LIPOSUCTION rather than an engagement ring after five years with someone as wonderful as my best friend...

LET ME AT HER!!!

**WE now end the hijacking of this thread**

Quote:

Okay, Im 21, is it wrong for me to like someone who is around 30?

I found that once I hit my twenties, it wasn't as big of a diiference to date someone older than me. Go for it! Good luck!

James · #65 06-07-2004, 12:22 AM

How did this work out?

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
Hello,

I am bumping up a ridiculously old thread. Obviously, it is because I am in the middle of my own issue with the age difference thing.

As much as I hate to agree with P7, my biggest concern is why a guy 12 years older is interested in ME. It kinda worries me that he may have some weird issues.

On the other hand, I am a college graduate, I have a career, and I have been through quite a few of those big life experiences everyone has to deal with at least a few times, good or bad.

I don't feel like he is that much older than anyone else I have dated (because boys never really grow up), but it will be interesting to see if this relationship outlasts the initial chemistry.

sigtau305 · #66 06-07-2004, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine

People make a big deal about the age gap yada yada yada, but if both of you are on the same level, then there shouldn't be a problem.

co-sign.

James · #67 09-05-2004, 06:55 PM

I thought I would bump this because someone was asking ..

ZTAMich · #68 09-05-2004, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AngelPhiSig
Okay, Im 21, is it wrong for me to like someone who is around 30?

No definetly not. As a 23year old my "age limits" are 7 above and 2 below. Guys I date need to be able to go to the bar with me and must not be older than 30. I have yet to meet a single non-skeevy guy over 35...

#69 09-09-2004, 12:32 PM

I perfer to date an older man. former Mr-cutiepatootie and i were the same age and well that marraige was faulted from the beginning.....i like older men .... they at that age SHOULD have their stuff together. i am 35 so dating someone up to age 48ish is how far in age i would date.

RioLambdaAlum · #70 09-09-2004, 11:42 PM

I'm 25 and the guy I am with right now will 37 next month. It took me a little while to try and get over the whole age thing far as that far apart goes since I usually would say 7 years at the oldest. But who know's we will see how long this relationship lasts. So far its been going good.

RedHotChiO · #71 09-10-2004, 12:43 PM

I think it's mainly different when you're in college and they're not. I've been out of college for 2 years, and I recently dated a guy who still a senior in college which I found really awkward. He never undertood why I had to go home early on a weeknight, and he always had classes. When you're both working it doesn't really matter the age difference.

AGDee · #72 09-11-2004, 07:34 AM

I totally freaked out the day I realized I was married to a 35 year old man. I was only 33, but it made me feel really old to think I was married to a 35 year old. 35 sounded really old to me.

I'm not married to him anymore.

35 doesn't sound old to me anymore either. Now, 50 sounds old to me... lol. It keeps going up!

I have said it before, I will say it again. I think "life stage" has a lot more to do with it than age. My dad's wife is 13 years younger than him and they met when she was 41 and he was 54. I was grown and out of college by then. She had kids who were in college. They were in the same basic life stage. Some 41 year old women just started their families and that would have been too much for my dad. Besides, she looks a lot older than she is (being a *itch does that to people).

Dee