Lavalier?

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Phi1852Mu

Does anyone know what exactly pinned girlfriends 'can and can not do'? Some say you can wear his pin, some don't, some say you can go to brotherhood events, some don't. Looking for some consensus please! I want to be as involved as possible since I love his brothers, but don't want to offend anyone!

You're not likely to find any consensus. Like Vito said, it's going to depend on (1) whether Theta Chi has rules about wearing or not wearing his badge, and (2) what his chapter thinks is appropriate and what it is comfortable with.

[lovespink88]

Bump because I'm wearing my Christmas present from the bf--a Phi Kappa Psi lavalier!!!

[pomplemousse12]

I know one fraternity on our campus does lavaliering, but it's not my boyfriend's =[. We've talked about it before because it's a tradition I love, and I'd love to have a candlepass one day, but since we've only been dating for 3 and a half months, I'm not pressuring him. It's way more likely (if at all, I get really romantic thoughts I shouldn't have) that he'd propose before lavaliering me.
But still, I love to hear lavalier stories, congrats lovespink88!!

[Hoosierxgirl]

I'm not sure how popular lavaliering is at IU but I wish my boyfriend was in a fraternity. We've been dating for 3 years now and I think it would be an awesome experience...I don't think we've had a candlepass in the time I've been in the house (which isn't long) so I think I'm going to look into it...even though I can't experience it

[lovespink88]

I just LOL'd at the thought of being at my boyfriend's brotherhood events. Oh God.

[CougarGrad]

Originally Posted by lovespink88

I just LOL'd at the thought of being at my boyfriend's brotherhood events. Oh God.

Aw, c'mon, you know you wanna.

[Phi1852Mu]

Thanks everyone!

[ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ]

Does anyone know how common it is for a sorority girl to give her letters to her boyfriend? My boyfriend is in a fraternity, and he's thinking of lavaliering me, but I was wondering if there was something I could give him that would be the equivalent or similar.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

Does anyone know how common it is for a sorority girl to give her letters to her boyfriend? My boyfriend is in a fraternity, and he's thinking of lavaliering me, but I was wondering if there was something I could give him that would be the equivalent or similar.

I know there have been discussions about it before. The one thread I could find was this one: QUESTION!!!.

[AOpilicious]

The decision to lavalier or pin is certainly squarely in the hands of the fraternity member, but I know we had a wonderful tradition to celebratate the occasion.

Some chapters are more elaborate than others. But generally involves singing a "lavalier song" with a candle. It goes round and round until the lucky girl blows out the candle.

One time around is a new friend, two times around is a lavalier, three times around is a pinning, four times around is an engagement.

At some schools, the members will order a decorated candle from the chapter's florist and have it delivered to the house. So a fancy-pants candle sits in the foyer and lets everybody know that a candle ceremony will happen that night.

Most chapters just use any old candle. But I liked the idea of personalized candle decorated up that you keep as a memento.

Sadly, our lavalier song, which is the original lavalier song for AOII, seems to have been lost.

There's a longing in the heart of each AOII
for the man who lives in her dreams (in her dreams...)
Someone to share all her sorrows and cares
just a regular fellow it seems (so it seems...)
For I love him so and for him I would die
He's the Sweetheart of an A-O-II

At my college, the guys had a ceremony where they messed with the brother who had given up with lavalier and sometimes they sing to the sorority member. I only ever heard the Beta's and the Sig Eps do a sweetheart song. So the girlfriend or fiancee was surrounded by the pledges or the chapter and they sang a sweetheart song to her. One of my very best friends got a Sigma Chi pin, but nothing ever happened to her because she had never pledged a sorority and the Sigma Chi's lamely did not do anything.

She never married him, but she kept the pin - I think that's wrong!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

Does anyone know how common it is for a sorority girl to give her letters to her boyfriend? My boyfriend is in a fraternity, and he's thinking of lavaliering me, but I was wondering if there was something I could give him that would be the equivalent or similar.

The only time I've heard of a girl lavaliering her boyfriend is if he's not Greek.

[FSUZeta]

would you give your boyfriend an engagement ring?

p.s. good reply in the linked thread MC.

[ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I know there have been discussions about it before. The one thread I could find was this one: QUESTION!!!.

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

would you give your boyfriend an engagement ring?

p.s. good reply in the linked thread MC.

Thanks for the link. I don't know if I would really want to give him a lavalier, specifically, but maybe a ring with his or my letters (if that's possible, and if he'd want it). He has told me that some of his alumni brothers have been given lavaliers by Alpha Sigma Alphas, though, so that's where I came up with this idea.

No, I wouldn't take it that far, but I was just thinking it'd be sweet if we each had something to show our connection to the other's fraternity/sorority.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by ΘΦΑlovesΣΝ

No, I wouldn't take it that far, but I was just thinking it'd be sweet if we each had something to show our connection to the other's fraternity/sorority.

I'm going to be frank and give you my thoughts on it: You don't have a connection to each other's fraternity or sorority. You each have a connection to your own fraternity or sorority. You have a connection to each other, and you have a connection (friendship) with members of each other's org, but unless you are a chapter sweetheart, you do not have a connection to Sigma Nu. (I'll be really frank and say it seems very odd to me to see someone use letters of an org they're not a member of in their screen name. Sorry.)

Pinning and lavaliering do not create a connection with a boyfriend's fraternity. It's simply a traditional way of indicating the seriousness of a relationship.

Full disclosure: My thoughts may be influenced by the fact that my fraternity does not allow non-members to wear our letters -- not even in the form of a lavalier.

And I still can't imagine a guy actually wearing a lavalier.

[SigmaNuHM659]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I'm going to be frank and give you my thoughts on it: You don't have a connection to each other's fraternity or sorority. You each have a connection to your own fraternity or sorority. You have a connection to each other, and you have a connection (friendship) with members of each other's org, but unless you are a chapter sweetheart, you do not have a connection to Sigma Nu. (I'll be really frank and say it seems very odd to me to see someone use letters of an org they're not a member of in their screen name. Sorry.)

Pinning and lavaliering do not create a connection with a boyfriend's fraternity. It's simply a traditional way of indicating the seriousness of a relationship.

Full disclosure: My thoughts may be influenced by the fact that my fraternity does not allow non-members to wear our letters -- not even in the form of a lavalier.

And I still can't imagine a guy actually wearing a lavalier.

Don't speak for my chapter and say that she cannot have a connection to Sigma Nu. Also, other members of my chapter have been lavaliered and do wear their girlfriend's/ fiancé's/ wive's letters around their neck with pride. If your aren't a Sigma Nu, don't speak for us. I find it odd that someone whose fraternity has no traditions or customs for lavaliering can claim to know so much and even ridicule others about it.

I see nothing wrong with her using Sigma Nu in her screen name. She isn't claiming to be one. It is merely a gesture of affection and support.