is there any hope?

[mulattogyrl]

Originally posted by FSUZeta
during formal recruitment my junior year, a girl came through who everyone was dying to pledge. she was the whole package-looks, brains, personality-you get the picture. she had a full compliment of invitations for the whole of recruitment. she kept going back to one of the least strong chapters, and the whole campus was mystified. she ended up pledging there.we (and all the other chapters) were so disappointed that she did not choose one of us. turns out her mom and grandmother are members of the same sorority, and she really liked the girls. they were a really nice bunch of girls. they also were not very attractive and most of the time looked a little on the sloppy side. many of them were overweight.

she became a little sister to the top fraternity on campus. when they found out where she had pledged, they ridiculed her so badly that she quit the little sister org(the right choice, obviously!). she ended up being president of her chapter the next year. even though she was a sophomore, i think that the chapter realized what an asset they had and wanted her to have as much face time as possible. gradually, over the years,(i would guess 10 or 15, having recently seen yearbooks from 80's and 90's.) the chapter turned itself around and is now competitive on campus.

i really believe that the turnaround began with this one person. the chapter must have realized that to survive they needed to change some things. she undoubtedly looked past the superficial and saw a sisterhood she wanted to be a part of and more importantly, that she could help improve. i also believe that the chapter realized that they were going to have to change some things and improve themselves or they might run the risk of having their chapter closed(we lost 4 chapters during that time at fsu).

have you thought about running for an executive council office? you can influence the most people from a position of authority. what about running for the recruitment office in your chapter?as someone else said , recruitment is 365 days a year. you need to help the chapter to understand this. that includes attitude, grades, activities AND appearance. as recruitment vp or chairperson or whatever your sorority calls it, you might be able to inact some changes rather quickly. just realize that drastic changes probably won't happen easily, and the reputation of the sorority will not improve dramatically during your time at your college. i commend you for not giving up and for caring enough to try to improve your chapter. good luck!!

This is a really good post.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally posted by FSUZeta

I really believe that the turnaround began with this one person.

I have goosebumps. This is a great example of the power of ONE. Ok, so run for recruitment chair and play U2's One at your preference party and make sure the women going through know that they can make a difference!

[Optimist Prime]

there is always hope

[Buttonz]

Originally posted by SockPuppet3

I've said it several times and I'll say it again. I love my sisters.

You love your sisters? You say they are good people? Then why does it matter to you what size they wear? There is nothing wrong with a girl being a size 14, 16, 18 as long as she is healthy without health problems.

[AnonAlumna]

She hasn't said one single thing that says that she's ashamed of their size! She has actually said on several occasions that it doesn't matter. What matters is that they are NOT representing themselves well on campus. A size 2 girl can look just as nasty and dirty as a size 20. Her problem here is reputation and presentation!

Don't let them get to you SP3!

[Tom Earp]

Doesnt Hope Ring Eternal?

[CarolinaCutie]

Originally posted by Buttonz
You love your sisters? You say they are good people? Then why does it matter to you what size they wear? There is nothing wrong with a girl being a size 14, 16, 18 as long as she is healthy without health problems.

Coming from someone who is not skinny...

There is a difference between having a variety of body shapes within your chapter, and being known as the "fat girl" sorority. She is asking for solutions to help her chapter's reputation on campus. Yes, I know that reputation isn't everything and you can still have a wonderful sisterhood, etc.etc. But if I joined a sorority expecting to meet new people (including fraternity guys) and then I discovered that none of the fraternities on campus will mix with my sorority because of our reputation, I would be looking for ways to fix that - because it's part of Greek life and I wouldn't want to miss out. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that.

[slb]

Originally posted by SockPuppet3
The remaining two constantly seem to struggle (they never make total, even with COB; they are rarely invited to mix with fraternities; etc.).

I am in one of the latter mentioned sororities. While we have an incredible sisterhood, we really don't have much respect on campus. I know one of the reasons behind this is that we're seen as the "dumpy" girls. We have women who wear size 14 or larger, women who don't wear much make-up, etc.

We have struggled for years. My older sister went to school here, and was a member of another sorority, but remembers how bad my sorority's reputation was 10 years ago. Unfortunately, it hasn't gotten any better.

She was so disappointed that I chose to sign my bid card when she found out which sorority I had chosen. I ranked it 2nd (out of 3) after pref. She thinks I might have even been offered a bid from my top choice (which is in the first category I mentioned), but was extended a bid from this group because I actually ranked it 2nd. There were two people, including me, in my pledge class.

I guess where I'm going with this is, at what point does the school reconsider how many groups it will continue to recognize? How long will it let these two struggling chapters continue to struggle? Or, are the sororities themselves the ones who decide whether or not to continue?

Please, any help you can provide will be appreciated. I think my chapter's future looks pretty dismal. I'd like to find some kind of way to keep us around, but with a much better image.
[/B]

Wow. As a chapter advisor (who is an admitted lurker here) I am touched and amused by the various responses to your original questions. I've worked with chapters at both ends of the spectrum and will try to answer your original questions.

First, if you are in an NPC sorority, the bid you matched is a result of a mutual selection process. Not to be mean, but your sister's concerns about you choosing your second choice reflects a misunderstanding of how bid matching is conducted (and I've participated in bid matching as an advisor, so I can say that I do know how it works, but I am by no means an NPC expert). However, if she means that she's upset that you actually signed your bid card, then that's different.

Also, the school or university will not pull recognition for your orginazation because of low numbers. At least not in my experience. Your national orginization, sooner or later, might realize that their investment in the campus is not worth the expense. If you are getting constant visits from chapter consultants, or national officers, I'd be worried.

Second, I know from painfully personal experience that you can NOT succeed at helping your chapter if you are the only one to want the change. You haven't mentioned if you have a group of women in the chapter who feel the same way, a "coalition of the willing" if you will. If you do, get together with them and brainstorm on ways you can all run for office to take over chapter operations. Then you can implement change from the inside out, which is key.

Third, your reluctance to involve your chapter advisors (if any) or your national organization is understandable, but unfortunate. It is imperative, and I can not express this enough, that you DO involve them. These women most likely already know that there is a "problem" in the chapter and they would love to have a clue that some of the members are looking for change.

I guarantee you that if your chapter is having membership/recruitment problems, which is what it sounds like, that they ALREADY know and are concerned for the health of the chapter. As an advisor I would, hands down, rather deal with a risk management problem than a membership problem. The former can be dealt with through education and policy enforcement, but the latter is a touchy situation that deals with core self-esteem issues not easily resolved.

Forth, change has to come from the general membership. To repeat, you can not be the only member wanting to improve things. No matter what you do, if 99% of them don't want to turn things around, it's not going to happen.

Last, as a way to improve general appearance, and by this I don't mean being Barbies and fake, try going in the back door. Invite speakers on how to present yourself at job interviews or in interviews for internships/scholarships/etc. The seniors in your chapter will need it soon. Like it or not, the collegiate experience - the sorority experience - is a perfect training ground for your future careers. People that show up at job interviews looking like slobs will not be hired, or if they are, they will be offered less money than someone who shows up in a nice suit, combed hair and a smile. It's a fact of life and if you don't think so, just give it a try at your next interview.

Other suggestions here on volunteering with the less fortunate are valid and will give everyone a healthy dose of reality and good resume building material. Ideas about publicity are great, too. As are trying to build personal relationships with a few fraternities and then having philanthropy/social events with them. Take the men cookies, invite them for a home cooked meal. It sounds basic and rather 1950s, but men are suckers for food.

Again, as a chapter advisor and for the love of all that's holy, talk to your advisors/national officers about how they can bring in resources to help you. They are not the enemy and you won't get in trouble for trying to ensure your chapter's success.

This is a hard battle that will not be won in the next year. You can only hope to build a legacy for future classes to carry on. Several years from now the baby steps you have taken will be evident, but when you are in the fight it is easy to be discouraged. If you care as you say you do, don't give up, but do get help. Good luck in this.

[PhoenixAzul]

^^^ Cheers to that.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Applause for SLB!!! Thanks for coming out of the lurking shadows with sound advice!!!

Denise

[DSTCHAOS]

Yes, get your chapter advisor and the national headquarters to help you get your sisters to lose weight and start wearing makeup. Don't forget the cookies for the frat boys. Sorority life is a blast.

[33girl]

And once again, chapter advisors vary WIDELY in the degree of effectiveness, involvement with the chapter and knowledge of sorority life. Chapter advisors are not always alums of the sorority, or of ANY sorority for that matter. Especially if the school requires that they be faculty or affiliated with the school in some way.

We had some really nice women as our chapter advisors, but frankly, there were a lot of things sorority-wise they didn't know crap about. But we didn't really have a choice. We were stuck with someone school affiliated - and even if we hadn't been, the school really wasn't in an area where a lot of alums were around.

I know this is the exact opposite of what many chapters have, but I just want to say that "ask the advisor" isn't always an option that will do anything for you.

[CarolinaDG]

Originally posted by 33girl
And once again, chapter advisors vary WIDELY in the degree of effectiveness, involvement with the chapter and knowledge of sorority life. Chapter advisors are not always alums of the sorority, or of ANY sorority for that matter. Especially if the school requires that they be faculty or affiliated with the school in some way.

We had some really nice women as our chapter advisors, but frankly, there were a lot of things sorority-wise they didn't know crap about. But we didn't really have a choice. We were stuck with someone school affiliated - and even if we hadn't been, the school really wasn't in an area where a lot of alums were around.

I know this is the exact opposite of what many chapters have, but I just want to say that "ask the advisor" isn't always an option that will do anything for you.

Yeah, mine was a school like that (the faculty advisor thing)... ours was a DG, but I've seen women advisors of fraternities... always perplexed me, but that's for another thread.

I agree with what you say... Advisors are KEY to the success of a chapter (start sucking up NOW ladies!), but sometimes in unfortunate circumstances the women do not feel they have advisors that they can share their concerns with. And unfortunately, that sometimes ends up in miscommunication between the chapter and your nationals/HQ/EO/etc... Very unfortunate, but if you have any chance of using your advisors to help you through, realize that you do need them.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by CarolinaDG
Yeah, mine was a school like that (the faculty advisor thing)... ours was a DG, but I've seen women advisors of fraternities... always perplexed me, but that's for another thread.

I agree with what you say... Advisors are KEY to the success of a chapter (start sucking up NOW ladies!), but sometimes in unfortunate circumstances the women do not feel they have advisors that they can share their concerns with. And unfortunately, that sometimes ends up in miscommunication between the chapter and your nationals/HQ/EO/etc... Very unfortunate, but if you have any chance of using your advisors to help you through, realize that you do need them.

Women advisors for fraternities? I'd rather make sweet love to Cindy Sheehan.

-Rudey

[PiKA2001]

Originally posted by Rudey
Women advisors for fraternities? I'd rather make sweet love to Cindy Sheehan.

-Rudey

I think she meant advisor for the school's greek system. Our chapter advisor is always an alum from our chapter but the schools greek advisor is pretty much whoever the dean of students decides to hire.