Confessions... - Page 5

RedefinedDiva · #1 03-20-2006, 05:03 PM

Please don't feel bad about not liking or loving a close relative. My aunt says it best: You don't owe anybody anything.

Ultimately, you have to live your life for yourself. Of course, family is family, but regardless of that, there are TOXIC people in the world. And to make matters worse, one of them may be someone in your family. Be it a parent, grandparent, sibling, aunt/uncle, cousin, etc., you must rid yourself of toxic people. Some folks don't and won't EVER change. EVERYONE has a toxic person in their lives that they must rid themselves of. I have had several over the years. I am dealing with one now. You just have to resolve to live YOUR life.

Let go and let God. Ask God to help and guide you. He will. You can still have that family love for them, but you do NOT have to like them. Nor do you have to deal with anyone that brings you down simply because they are family. You will be OK. I can testify. God wants us to love and you can do that without having contact with someone who brings you down. God knows your heart.

teena · #2 03-20-2006, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RedefinedDiva
Please don't feel bad about not liking or loving a close relative. My aunt says it best: You don't owe anybody anything.

Ultimately, you have to live your life for yourself. Of course, family is family, but regardless of that, there are TOXIC people in the world. And to make matters worse, one of them may be someone in your family. Be it a parent, grandparent, sibling, aunt/uncle, cousin, etc., you must rid yourself of toxic people. Some folks don't and won't EVER change. EVERYONE has a toxic person in their lives that they must rid themselves of. I have had several over the years. I am dealing with one now. You just have to resolve to live YOUR life.

Let go and let God. Ask God to help and guide you. He will. You can still have that family love for them, but you do NOT have to like them. Nor do you have to deal with anyone that brings you down simply because they are family. You will be OK. I can testify. God wants us to love and you can do that without having contact with someone who brings you down. God knows your heart.

Thank you. I hear you. Pray on it and do the best I can. That is all I can do.

PerfectVerse06 · #3 03-20-2006, 07:17 PM

RefinedDiva, you worded that perfectly!!

AKA_Monet · #4 03-20-2006, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bajan_Delta
I figured that more people feel the same way, however it's so taboo to say that you don't like your father, mother or grandmother. People like to believe that respect is due to these people. My thoughts are that respect is earned not due...

It says in the Christian Bible to "respect your mother and father..." But is also says, in so many words for parents do not cause your children to leave you or hate you...

I think folks forget that part about being a responsible adult toward children, then expect to be respected due to age...

One must do respectable things in order to be respected... Besides, the issue is "reverence". Are they living a "revered" life--that is respect with joy and honor.

So don't feel bad or that it is taboo because elders are misbehaving. A child will never be the parent no matter what the age is. But a child does grow up and become an adult...

And Christ said, "I put childish things away..."

Some folks who are adults will never be at that point in their lives... So just like my Soror Redefined said, you all ain't a toxic dump, why should they leave their waste around you?

KAPPAtivating · #5 03-21-2006, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
It says in the Christian Bible to "respect your mother and father..." But is also says, in so many words for parents do not cause your children to leave you or hate you... around you?

To be exact the Bible says "...provoke not your children." In dealing with my father, I realized that is what he was doing. So I tried to talk to correct the issues, and he refused. So now I know, I made the attempt to do the right thing. He chose not to follow suite. I continue to pray for him and for myself that I do not say or do anything that is wrong, but in the long run, I realized that he is dead weight to me and God cannot allow my cup to overflow with blessings, if my father is taking up the space.

lil_sunshine · #6 03-21-2006, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
It says in the Christian Bible to "respect your mother and father..." But is also says, in so many words for parents do not cause your children to leave you or hate you...

I think folks forget that part about being a responsible adult toward children, then expect to be respected due to age...

One must do respectable things in order to be respected... Besides, the issue is "reverence". Are they living a "revered" life--that is respect with joy and honor.

So don't feel bad or that it is taboo because elders are misbehaving. A child will never be the parent no matter what the age is. But a child does grow up and become an adult...

And Christ said, "I put childish things away..."

Some folks who are adults will never be at that point in their lives... So just like my Soror Redefined said, you all ain't a toxic dump, why should they leave their waste around you?

AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!!!

Dionysus · #7 03-21-2006, 02:50 PM

We must remember that it takes no special abilities (mentally and emotionally) for two people to get together and hump.

9dstpm · #8 03-21-2006, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
We must remember that it takes no special abilities (mentally and emotionally) for two people to get together and hump.

So true. I see the results of this (the children and the subsequential dysfunctional families) everyday at my job.

StarFish106 · #9 03-22-2006, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
We must remember that it takes no special abilities (mentally and emotionally) for two people to get together and hump.

You ain't neva lied...i have a cousin now waiting for the birth of her 4th child (can barely take care of the 3 boys she has now)....she should have stopped a long time ago. She is another one I just had to "let go and let God".

SummerChild · #10 03-22-2006, 10:30 PM

Hello Luv4Denzel,
Your mother, you and your family are in my prayers.
SC

Quote:

Originally posted by luv4denzel
Something weighing heavy on my heart:

Hello everyone. I'm new to the GC, but I had to respond to this thread. Here it goes.

My mother has not eaten in two months. She was living with my sister, and after doctors down there couldn't find out what was wrong, I went and got her and brought her up here with me. I got her in a great hospital who's had her for 3 weeks. Almost two weeks ago, they operated to remove what they thought was a blockage on her intestine which was preventing food and water from staying down. The surgeon called me after the surgery and told me that there was no blockage--my mother has cancer again (she had stomach cancer in '03, but they got it and she beat it). This time her stomach cancer is very advanced-stage 4, which is terminal. While she's not going to die tomorrow, she is going to be leaving me soon. Doctors say it's likely she'll '07 come in. She's being fed through a tube, and she's gonna get chemo in an effort to prolong her life. My sister and I are heartbroken, and we've prayed so much, I don't know what else to say to Him. My mother is my best friend. I don't know what I'm gonna do without her. She said she's ready when He's ready for her. She has no regrets, other than the possibility that she won't be around to see her only grandchildren (my 2 sons) grow up. I talk to her and see her everyday, and I've turned my third bedroom into a room for her. My mother took care of me and my children. Now it's my turn to take care of her. Please everyone, pray for my mother, Joyce Gibson Harrison. Thanks for letting me vent.

darling1 · #11 03-23-2006, 02:43 AM

can u send me a pm where that scripture is found? i deal with this alot and am feeling that this will be an issue revisiting me very soon.

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
It says in the Christian Bible to "respect your mother and father..." But is also says, in so many words for parents do not cause your children to leave you or hate you...

I think folks forget that part about being a responsible adult toward children, then expect to be respected due to age...

One must do respectable things in order to be respected... Besides, the issue is "reverence". Are they living a "revered" life--that is respect with joy and honor.

So don't feel bad or that it is taboo because elders are misbehaving. A child will never be the parent no matter what the age is. But a child does grow up and become an adult...

And Christ said, "I put childish things away..."

Some folks who are adults will never be at that point in their lives... So just like my Soror Redefined said, you all ain't a toxic dump, why should they leave their waste around you?

AKA_Monet · #12 03-23-2006, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by darling1
can u send me a pm where that scripture is found? i deal with this alot and am feeling that this will be an issue revisiting me very soon.

Bruh KAPPAtivating alluded to it. It is Ephesians 6:1-4.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with a promise: "that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth." You fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

There are others and I will try to find them as they come...

DSTinguished1 · #13 03-23-2006, 10:13 PM

I'm secretly in love with my best friend and I know I shouldn't be because we are like brother and sister. He has made it clear that he does not have feelings for me and he has a girlfriend. So why can't I shake these feelings??

lovehaiku84 · #14 03-23-2006, 10:32 PM

It's probably because once you have feelings for someone, it's really hard to turn them off, regardless of whether or not they reciprocate those feelings. Also, I mean he's still in your life doing the things and being the person that he was to make you fall in love. Think of it like a shopping addict trying to beat their addiction while living next door to a mall. It won't work! Good luck with that though. I've been in your shoes and it was a long road to "recovery" but I got there.

KAPPAtivating · #15 03-24-2006, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DSTinguished1
I'm secretly in love with my best friend and I know I shouldn't be because we are like brother and sister. He has made it clear that he does not have feelings for me and he has a girlfriend. So why can't I shake these feelings??

Is it because the things that are "off" limits to us are the most appealing?