BET Down Low Special

[ladylike]

Originally posted by stardusttwin
I am not from Jamaica - my family is from Barbados and Trinidad & Tobago

Your reply is appreciated, stardusttwin.

Anyone know if Terry McMillan been married before?

<-----too lazy to google it

[Marie]

Originally posted by ladylike
Do we have anyone here from Jamaica?

From what I understand, the culture as a whole is HIGHLY intolerant of homosexuals. If a man "comes out" and admits to being gay, isn't he essentially putting his life in jeopardy and bringing shame on his family? Or is this all hyperbole?

Terri's facial expressions were hilarious. I would invite her out for a mojito.

I am not from Jamaica, but this was my understanding as well. It is based upon a book that I read by a gay woman from Jamaica. I can't say to what extent her descriptions were accurate, but she painted a picture of a very hostile environment. Not only were most people disapproving of homosexual relationships, but she even mentioned people's lives being threatened. These were men openly attacking women, so I can't imagine what it would be like for a gay man. Now I'm not speaking in regards to what Terry's husband did. Clearly there is no excuse for his behavior. I'm just responding based on what my understanding was/is.

[jitterbug13]

NEW YORK - Stella isn't happy about losing her groove. Terry McMillan appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Wednesday to confront her gay ex-husband, Jonathan Plummer, who inspired McMillan's 1996 novel "How Stella Got her Groove Back." The book, later adapted into a movie, chronicled the adventures of a 40-something woman who falls for a guy half her age.

McMillan filed for divorce in January after 6 1/2 years of marriage when she learned Plummer was gay.

"I always thought Jonathan was not the most masculine man that I had been with," the 54-year-old author told Winfrey. But she says she never suspected anything because "all men aren't masculine. He wasn't effeminate."

When Plummer joined McMillan on stage, she told him, "You didn't say anything about being gay. You said everything but that."

"I did expect her to be upset," Plummer said. He said he only realized he was gay in the final two years of the marriage.

The divorce was an ugly one with each having restraining orders filed on the other and Plummer suing for spousal support. The fallout led McMillan and others to conclude Plummer married only to get his U.S. citizenship — he's a native of Jamaica, where they met.

As to why he sued, Plummer refused to comment, saying he didn't want to "restir things right now."

But while the two argued during much of the show, questioning each other's account, they said they are now approaching reconcilement.

"I regret hurting her," said Plummer. "There are better ways to be doing this."

McMillan acknowledged, "I think that Jonathan did love me, because you can't fake this stuff."

[Maroon Hawk]

oOo, I just ran across this thread...I, unfortunately, missed the show, but it's very interesting that the image painted here (and the opinions) are like a total 180 from the opinions of the show on gay male oriented websites.

For example, if you look here:

http://www.keithboykin.com/arch/001657.html

and

http://rodonline.typepad.com/rodonli..._to_a_meg.html

You will see that alot of other people feel like Jonathan was set up, which is why he was stumped by alot of the questions...cuz he wasn't ready. Also, some perceived that Oprah was on Terry's side from the jump and it was a 2 on 1 thing. Either that or it was simply a publicity stunt (the dude came done up like a lil queen...he might as well have been wearin a bra and a thong). Even his demeanor was just...hmm. And near the end, did Oprah not publicize McMillan's new book which surprisingly she just bought the movie rights to...*ahem*.

Also, the attitude towards gays in Jamaica is extremely volatile. Just listen to Chi Chi Mon by T.O.K...it's an ok thing to kill some dude cuz he's gay. Therefore, it wouldn't even be advisable to explore your sexuality and come to grasp with who you are intimately. In addition, just because people are coming out at a younger and younger age in the US, doesn't mean it's always been that way. Many people who are out now who are in their 20s, 30s and 40s didn't come out til their 20s, 30s, and 40s (even to them, hearin about teens comin out is astonishing). So for Jonathan to have loved/love Terry isn't hard to fathom while not knowing (and accepting) he was gay. Be in love? maybe not...but he probably did love her. But being in a place where he could start to explore his sexuality and come out, I'm not surprised that it happened. (I've seen pics of him from a few years back...dude had my gaydar going off.)

It sucks that Terry got cheated on, Jonathan just happened to be fruity with his cheating, but she should have known better than to mess with a boy who was just really coming into his manhood. He was like a puppy who bit the hand that fed him (she did so much for him..and he gave her an idea for best-selling novel), and that must sting.

hehe, i like what Keith Boykin wrote, "I love Oprah. I always have. But Oprah really needs to feature some real experts to bring some light to the issue of homosexuality in the black community. Today's show did not do that."

[Conskeeted7]

People in the U.S. have died from hate crimes against gays. I think it's safe to say that it is not totally acceptable in our culture either. So, I'm not quite buying the issue of it being ok here and that's why he decided to explore.

I think that Jonathan sounded unprepared because he was trying too hard to sound proper and polite instead of simply saying the honest truth. That's exactly what Terry was doing and why she may have sounded more natural and prepared.

[ARTIC-U-LATE]

Originally posted by Professor
I'm not saying he has to be the most masculine man but hell, everytime i see those pictures with lip gloss it reminds me of a drag queen. He just looks very gay. Maybe I have an issue with men in lip gloss - I just just just - boss lady tude help me.

WTF...I wish I could have seen this shit. In addition to the lip gloss thing, what is up with men and colored contacts?????? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT. All that damn blinking...I want to smack the hell out of them. Isn't there some kind of spray people with contacts wear?

[DELTABRAT]

Originally posted by Maroon Hawk


hehe, i like what Keith Boykin wrote, "I love Oprah. I always have. But Oprah really needs to feature some real experts to bring some light to the issue of homosexuality in the black community. Today's show did not do that."

I am sick of Keith. Who are these "experts?" Gay Black men who will cry they are being victimized by Black women? Perhaps people who do research on sexuality, but when anyone says anything other then what gay Black men want to hear, they are questioned and no longer qualified to speak. Anytime anyone has anything to say about the state of African Americans and anyone HAPPENS to point at brothahs being gay and not being "out" he jumps up with the whole "blaming the victim" scenario. I'm tired. I have another old schoolmate who insists he is just "doing his thing" with men....he only told my friend AFTER he tried to get with her and AFTER she told him it was okay for him to "come out." I can't even remember how the gay issue came up but it was real haphazard. Now he's pretty much out but still wolfing the whole "demonizing Black men" thing. I am tired. I do HIV research every day of my LIFE and I know the problem is stigma in the Black community...that being said, that still doesn't take the responsibility off of Black men to not put my life at risk.

[33girl]

Originally posted by ARTIC-U-LATE
WTF...I wish I could have seen this shit. In addition to the lip gloss thing, what is up with men and colored contacts?????? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT. All that damn blinking...I want to smack the hell out of them. Isn't there some kind of spray people with contacts wear?

LOL, sometimes blinking can be caused by dry eyes. Sometimes when you take birth control pills it makes your eyes dry.

But yes, there are eyedrops especially for use with contacts.

[jitterbug13]

Mods, if you feel this can be another thread or need to change the name of the current one, please do so!

Best-selling novelist Terry McMillan shares her emotionally-charged testimony on the controversial BET News documentary, ‘The Down Low Exposed,’ premiering March 28 at 10 p.m. ET/PT. “I think that what [BET is] doing should be applauded because I think more than anything there are women out there that are victims,” the author of 'Waiting to Exhale' said during the one-hour news special -- a probing look into the world of men with wives or girlfriends who also secretly engage in sex with other men. “I think we need to hold men accountable for their actions,” McMillan added, in what she said is her final public interview on the subject.

Last year, her marriage to Jonathan Plummer publicly unraveled with a nasty divorce as a result of his admission to a secret gay life. “I think that he should be charged with attempted murder for risking my life without my knowledge or consent,” the chick-lit diva said in the documentary. Helmed by Park Hill Entertainment President Shirley Neal, ‘Exposed’ examines this divisive subject from a variety of angles including prison sex and its impact on the spread of HIV/AIDS; the Black church; the impact of HIV and AIDS on women infected by men who hid their homosexuality; and the crucial importance of being tested for the disease. Music videos and hip-hop music runs throughout the news special, which features many unidentified men -- and some groundbreaking undercover footage. “The ‘Down Low’ is one of those subjects that fascinate people. With this special, we want to hear every point of view -- men who lead double-lives, their lovers, women who have been involved with them, church people, ex-cons, AIDS activists and regular folks on the street,” said BET President of Entertainment Reginald Hudlin.

J.L. King, the best-selling author of the explosive 2004 book 'One the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of “Straight” Black Men Who Sleep with Men,’ serves as the executive producer of the documentary. He told Black Voices that BET deserves kudos for tackling the subject. “The down low subject has been featured or mentioned in over 100 news stories,” he said. “I have been interviewed and featured by all the major networks, talk shows and many news outlets abroad, but this BET special by far is the most cutting edge. BET should get an award for this documentary.” King revisits his explosive book; discusses his own life in the aftermath; and takes part in an exclusive interview with his former wife Brenda Stone-Browder, who has remarried and started a new life. “My mission is to create a movement of awareness,” he added. “This special is going to give a strong message on the importance of getting tested for HIV and the importance of taking control of your sex life, regardless of your sexual orientation.”

Others lending voice and context to the issue include music industry veteran and AIDS Activist Maria Davis; sex therapist and UCLA professor Dr. Gail Wyatt; entertainment journalist and author Scott Poulson Bryant; Black AIDS Institute Executive Director Phill Wilson, and Pastor Oliver Clay Allen, openly gay minister of the Vision Church of Atlanta. Actor and director Bill Duke, who is helming a film on the subject, titled ‘Invisible,’ also weighs in. “If you think this is a Black issue, you are very mistaken,” he said. “AIDS is not a Black issue. AIDS is an issue that's going to impact everybody, everybody's sisters and daughters, everybody's families. And why we're not dealing with this in an emergency way is beyond me. I don't understand it, I really don't.”

An encore showing is scheduled for March 31 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

[AKA2D '91]

HA!
I saw a bunch of the DL scene (and etc) at last night's Floetry concert.

[DSTinguished1]

Did anyone watch this? I did. My heart went out to the HIV positive ladies and Terry McMillian. Overall I thought it was a good program, Ill post my comments later...

[Obsession8]

Originally posted by DSTinguished1
Did anyone watch this? I did. My heart went out to the HIV positive ladies and Terry McMillian. Overall I thought it was a good program, Ill post my comments later...

I did, and ditto for me. Very imformative...including the honest, candid "from-the-street" commentary.

[teena]

Originally posted by btb87
Okay. . . I sneaked a few minutes of Oprah here at work. I just want somebody to tell me why is she starting to look like her Spaniels?

ROFL

[KSUViolet06]

I watched about 5 minutes of it, until I threw up a little bit in my mouth. After I saw that transvestite, I was too through....

[jubilance1922]

I died when Terry said "F*ck him and his love"