Talkin' white

[TheEpitome1920]

Glad to know I'm not alone (hugs) ,lol

A few years back a friend called the house for my sister and asked her "who is that white lady who answered your phone??"

[Pristine1922]

Originally posted by TheEpitome1920
Glad to know I'm not alone (hugs) ,lol

A few years back a friend called the house for my sister and asked her "who is that white lady who answered your phone??"

lol..Funny I get that all the time. People are sad, but then again, you can't do anything but laugh at them. When you know better you do better.

[rho4life]

Just the other day someone asked me where I was from, and I was kind of shocked. I do have a tendency to "create" my own words, but, damn bro, it's just called being creative. Doesn't mean I'm from out of state!

[IncontRHOllable]

Ok I had to recycle this thread because I have got some thing I want to add. Two year ago, part of my job assignment was to call clients. I was working for a nonprofit org then. When I first started I would speak using my regular tone of voice and I always use proper english. Well, in my regular tone of voice you can tell I am black (if that makes sense). After a few weeks it became apparent to me and to my boss that there was a connection between me sounding like a black person and my client list dropping. My boss and I came up with a plan for me to start speaking in a more "white" tone, so when using the "white" tone of voice people thought I was white and I would get more clients. The sad thing is that the plan actually worked. In this day and time, I should not have had to do that especially when I always use proper english. This nation has a looooong way to go before we can stop singing "we shall overcome".

[1browngirl]

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

My boss and I came up with a plan for me to start speaking in a more "white" tone, so when using the "white" tone of voice people thought I was white

Interesting, Soror can you explain more? What did you do differently?

[jojapeach]

Seriously.... What pointers did your boss give you to sound more "white"? I'm really sad that once you implemented the plan that the plan actually worked.

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by 1browngirl

Interesting, Soror can you explain more? What did you do differently?

Hey soror, first I changed my name to a more "white" sounding name (now that would make for a good discussion about whether or not names can keep you from progressing in society) so I changed my name to Sarah. If any complaints came in about a Sarah the org knew it was me, although no complaints were ever made. In fact, there was one client who did call the org to lavish compliments on me . Next, I started speaking in a nice "white" southern lady accent. My boss choose southern because he said that people tend to trust southern people more. It worked like a charm. Sad, but true.

[ziasha07]

I have SO often been told by my black friends that I speak too proper or too "white." This has been going on since I was ten or so. As someone prior to me said, I had to learn to be bilingual.

I often tell my mother I speak job interview, standard English, Ebonics, and a little French. I've just learned that you have to speak to certain people, certain ways, in certain settings.

As far as behavior, I've been criticized quite often by my parents and peers. A specific example: My hair is down to my shoulder and I am accused on a daily basis of flipping my hair "like a white girl" with a head shake.

Socially: I went to a get together (or small party) hosted by a White girl where I was the only Black American present and when I got home my father said "Don't you have any Black friends?" Of course about a year later I went to a party hosted by a Black American. There were party crashers, and when my parents came to get me and saw the police there (no problem, just a precaution) they said "See this is why we don't let you go to things like this." Meaning parties hosted by my Black acquaintances. Where is the middle ground?

Furthermore, what is with the Black Community’s pre-occupation with identifiably or stereotypical "white/black" behavior? Why is it often considered wrong for a black person to not adhere to stereotypes?


*Sorry it's long. *

[ziasha07]

Originally Posted by IncontRHOllable

Hey soror, first I changed my name to a more "white" sounding name (now that would make for a good discussion about whether or not names can keep you from progressing in society) so I changed my name to Sarah. If any complaints came in about a Sarah the org knew it was me, although no complaints were ever made. In fact, there was one client who did call the org to lavish compliments on me . Next, I started speaking in a nice "white" southern lady accent. My boss choose southern because he said that people tend to trust southern people more. It worked like a charm. Sad, but true.

I too did that hence my user name, It's a combination of my first name (not "ghetto" but not usually found) and my middle name which is very common. When I'm on the phone and people hear my middle name combined with my "white sounding" voice, they assume I'm white.

When I got to high school I told everyone that I wanted to be called by my middle name instead of my first name. It's kind of silly and now I regret doing it. I'm just know realizing how great my first name and all the history behind it. I still like my middle name but I think I'll just keep my birth name in college. However shallow it may seem, I'm not sure yet.

[blackngoldengrl]

I'm loving this topic, it really hits home!

I've got countless examples of "you sound like a white girl" "you talk like a white girl" or "WHY you talk like a white girl?" Funny how I never got accused of talking like that before middle school. My whole family talks like me, including my grandparents! They have different accents b/c they are from PA, but other than that it's the same. I never knew that my intonation was a problem. Funny how my father's friends ( my aunties and uncles who are all Nigerian) never noticed my "white" speech.

When I was younger being accused of "white speech" stung, but I tried to get over it by thinking that some people just dont know how to speak proper English or just don't choose to. When I got to college, I realized a lot of black people talk like me, and I learned more about myself in general. I don't let anyone simplify my blackness to my speech anymore.

[lovehaiku84]

I got this too, starting in middle school when I started at a school where there were more black students than at my elementary school. I was in the Gifted/Talented Program so I had friends of all races, but we all pretty much talked alike. Anyways, one day another black girl at the school came up to me and asked me if I was mixed. I'm like standing there trying to figure out where she was going with this question. I was like um...no. She's like your mom isn't white? Again, no. Finally she just came out with it and said, well why do you talk like that? In my 13 year old mind I'm like WTF? But I just walked away. Anyways being told that I was talking white or trying to act white really used to bother me. Now, after attending an HBCU where plenty of people "talk white" I just say that this is me and I'm not apologizing to anyone for speaking proper english.

[jojapeach]

Originally Posted by ziasha07

Furthermore, what is with the Black Community’s pre-occupation with identifiably or stereotypical "white/black" behavior? Why is it often considered wrong for a black person to not adhere to stereotypes?

WARNING: My opinion is a generalization, not an absolutely unwavering truth. I'm just sayin'....

This seems like a symptom of the "crabs in a barrel" mentality that has plagued Black people forever. It's as if someone says, "You're doing better than me in the language department because you are so "articulate". (Y'all know how "articulate" can go...) Well, I'm gonna find a way to level the playing field and take you down a peg or two." It's complete silliness for people to make people adhere to their insecurities, but that's what works for them.

The problem is that it only works because they never took the time to expose themselves to something besides what being Black is "supposed to be". Even if someone took time to introduce them to something outside of a stereotype, ie playing chess instead of PlayStation, they refused to be open to it. Therefore, if you're open to anything besides rap, fried chicken, or having an attitude 24/7, then you're obviously not black. That's some bullisht, and it drives me crazy.

I used to talk "proper" all the time as a kid, and grownups and kids had no problem pointing that out to me, a kid born and raised in Atlanta. There weren't a whole lot of other kids like me that paid attention in English class and could conjugate verbs correctly in conversation. So, at some point during HS, I started relaxing around my family members and being able to talk like them. I still retained my English skills. Then, I learned about the concept of being flexible: speak any way you desire on your personal time but be ready to switch back to your standard English when required/desired. (In my case, I make the call on that, not my boss.) It's an evil of our middle class-centered society values, but it's unfortunately a necessary evil. Thankfully, it won't really bother me in the end because I'm still true to who I am.

[OneTimeSBX]

i witnessed a young black mother scream on her very well-spoken daughter at my old job, telling her to "stop sounding so g**-damn white when she spoke!"

she went on to say that she had tried EVERYTHING to fix this "problem" her child had. she had removed her from her mostly white elementary school, and placed her in the most ghetto school in our area. she constantly berated this child and told her "won't no chile o' hers gonna run 'round ackin white!"

lord knows i wanted to take her home with me and raise her with a family that would praise her english skills, and not shoot them down.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by jojapeach

WARNING: My opinion is a generalization, not an absolutely unwavering truth. I'm just sayin'....

This seems like a symptom of the "crabs in a barrel" mentality that has plagued Black people forever. It's as if someone says, "You're doing better than me in the language department because you are so "articulate". (Y'all know how "articulate" can go...) Well, I'm gonna find a way to level the playing field and take you down a peg or two." It's complete silliness for people to make people adhere to their insecurities, but that's what works for them.

The problem is that it only works because they never took the time to expose themselves to something besides what being Black is "supposed to be". Even if someone took time to introduce them to something outside of a stereotype, ie playing chess instead of PlayStation, they refused to be open to it. Therefore, if you're open to anything besides rap, fried chicken, or having an attitude 24/7, then you're obviously not black. That's some bullisht, and it drives me crazy.

I used to talk "proper" all the time as a kid, and grownups and kids had no problem pointing that out to me, a kid born and raised in Atlanta. There weren't a whole lot of other kids like me that paid attention in English class and could conjugate verbs correctly in conversation. So, at some point during HS, I started relaxing around my family members and being able to talk like them. I still retained my English skills. Then, I learned about the concept of being flexible: speak any way you desire on your personal time but be ready to switch back to your standard English when required/desired. (In my case, I make the call on that, not my boss.) It's an evil of our middle class-centered society values, but it's unfortunately a necessary evil. Thankfully, it won't really bother me in the end because I'm still true to who I am.

Soror, I couldn't agree more.

If I had a dollar for every time some person told me that I sound articulate, sound white, etc..I'd be living in Baldwin Hills (the "black" Beverly Hills)with a butler, 2 maids, and a EASY button.

[jojapeach]

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

[/b]

Soror, I couldn't agree more.

If I had a dollar for every time some person told me that I sound articulate, sound white, etc..I'd be living in Baldwin Hills (the "black" Beverly Hills)with a butler, 2 maids, and a EASY button.

LMAO @ the EASY button

It's one thing to speak in standard English and be "articulate". *still * It's an entirely different thing when you don't recognize our rich Black culture of the past and the present. It does bother me when there's young Black people that don't recognize that you can make all the money in the world, but you can and will still be stereotyped or pulled over "randomly" just for being black.

These are realities for some Black people. Nonetheless, having great grammar and diction is not synonymous with forgetting or not recognizing the struggle of being Black. Just like being a living stereotype does not make you the epitome of Blackness.

HIJACK!

This makes me think of that poor Black man on "Tyra" who was living out his greatest fantasy of being made up as a white man. He might be one of the exceptions on my theory because he just doesn't want to be Black. I hope he got therapy for that.)

/HIJACK!