Talkin' white

[ziasha07]

I have SO often been told by my black friends that I speak too proper or too "white." This has been going on since I was ten or so. As someone prior to me said, I had to learn to be bilingual.

I often tell my mother I speak job interview, standard English, Ebonics, and a little French. I've just learned that you have to speak to certain people, certain ways, in certain settings.

As far as behavior, I've been criticized quite often by my parents and peers. A specific example: My hair is down to my shoulder and I am accused on a daily basis of flipping my hair "like a white girl" with a head shake.

Socially: I went to a get together (or small party) hosted by a White girl where I was the only Black American present and when I got home my father said "Don't you have any Black friends?" Of course about a year later I went to a party hosted by a Black American. There were party crashers, and when my parents came to get me and saw the police there (no problem, just a precaution) they said "See this is why we don't let you go to things like this." Meaning parties hosted by my Black acquaintances. Where is the middle ground?

Furthermore, what is with the Black Community’s pre-occupation with identifiably or stereotypical "white/black" behavior? Why is it often considered wrong for a black person to not adhere to stereotypes?


*Sorry it's long. *

[jojapeach]

Originally Posted by ziasha07

Furthermore, what is with the Black Community’s pre-occupation with identifiably or stereotypical "white/black" behavior? Why is it often considered wrong for a black person to not adhere to stereotypes?

WARNING: My opinion is a generalization, not an absolutely unwavering truth. I'm just sayin'....

This seems like a symptom of the "crabs in a barrel" mentality that has plagued Black people forever. It's as if someone says, "You're doing better than me in the language department because you are so "articulate". (Y'all know how "articulate" can go...) Well, I'm gonna find a way to level the playing field and take you down a peg or two." It's complete silliness for people to make people adhere to their insecurities, but that's what works for them.

The problem is that it only works because they never took the time to expose themselves to something besides what being Black is "supposed to be". Even if someone took time to introduce them to something outside of a stereotype, ie playing chess instead of PlayStation, they refused to be open to it. Therefore, if you're open to anything besides rap, fried chicken, or having an attitude 24/7, then you're obviously not black. That's some bullisht, and it drives me crazy.

I used to talk "proper" all the time as a kid, and grownups and kids had no problem pointing that out to me, a kid born and raised in Atlanta. There weren't a whole lot of other kids like me that paid attention in English class and could conjugate verbs correctly in conversation. So, at some point during HS, I started relaxing around my family members and being able to talk like them. I still retained my English skills. Then, I learned about the concept of being flexible: speak any way you desire on your personal time but be ready to switch back to your standard English when required/desired. (In my case, I make the call on that, not my boss.) It's an evil of our middle class-centered society values, but it's unfortunately a necessary evil. Thankfully, it won't really bother me in the end because I'm still true to who I am.

[OneTimeSBX]

i witnessed a young black mother scream on her very well-spoken daughter at my old job, telling her to "stop sounding so g**-damn white when she spoke!"

she went on to say that she had tried EVERYTHING to fix this "problem" her child had. she had removed her from her mostly white elementary school, and placed her in the most ghetto school in our area. she constantly berated this child and told her "won't no chile o' hers gonna run 'round ackin white!"

lord knows i wanted to take her home with me and raise her with a family that would praise her english skills, and not shoot them down.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by jojapeach

WARNING: My opinion is a generalization, not an absolutely unwavering truth. I'm just sayin'....

This seems like a symptom of the "crabs in a barrel" mentality that has plagued Black people forever. It's as if someone says, "You're doing better than me in the language department because you are so "articulate". (Y'all know how "articulate" can go...) Well, I'm gonna find a way to level the playing field and take you down a peg or two." It's complete silliness for people to make people adhere to their insecurities, but that's what works for them.

The problem is that it only works because they never took the time to expose themselves to something besides what being Black is "supposed to be". Even if someone took time to introduce them to something outside of a stereotype, ie playing chess instead of PlayStation, they refused to be open to it. Therefore, if you're open to anything besides rap, fried chicken, or having an attitude 24/7, then you're obviously not black. That's some bullisht, and it drives me crazy.

I used to talk "proper" all the time as a kid, and grownups and kids had no problem pointing that out to me, a kid born and raised in Atlanta. There weren't a whole lot of other kids like me that paid attention in English class and could conjugate verbs correctly in conversation. So, at some point during HS, I started relaxing around my family members and being able to talk like them. I still retained my English skills. Then, I learned about the concept of being flexible: speak any way you desire on your personal time but be ready to switch back to your standard English when required/desired. (In my case, I make the call on that, not my boss.) It's an evil of our middle class-centered society values, but it's unfortunately a necessary evil. Thankfully, it won't really bother me in the end because I'm still true to who I am.

Soror, I couldn't agree more.

If I had a dollar for every time some person told me that I sound articulate, sound white, etc..I'd be living in Baldwin Hills (the "black" Beverly Hills)with a butler, 2 maids, and a EASY button.

[jojapeach]

Originally Posted by NinjaPoodle

[/b]

Soror, I couldn't agree more.

If I had a dollar for every time some person told me that I sound articulate, sound white, etc..I'd be living in Baldwin Hills (the "black" Beverly Hills)with a butler, 2 maids, and a EASY button.

LMAO @ the EASY button

It's one thing to speak in standard English and be "articulate". *still * It's an entirely different thing when you don't recognize our rich Black culture of the past and the present. It does bother me when there's young Black people that don't recognize that you can make all the money in the world, but you can and will still be stereotyped or pulled over "randomly" just for being black.

These are realities for some Black people. Nonetheless, having great grammar and diction is not synonymous with forgetting or not recognizing the struggle of being Black. Just like being a living stereotype does not make you the epitome of Blackness.

HIJACK!

This makes me think of that poor Black man on "Tyra" who was living out his greatest fantasy of being made up as a white man. He might be one of the exceptions on my theory because he just doesn't want to be Black. I hope he got therapy for that.)

/HIJACK!

[IncontRHOllable]

Originally Posted by jojapeach

LMAO @ the EASY button

It's one thing to speak in standard English and be "articulate". *still * It's an entirely different thing when you don't recognize our rich Black culture of the past and the present. It does bother me when there's young Black people that don't recognize that you can make all the money in the world, but you can and will still be stereotyped or pulled over "randomly" just for being black.

These are realities for some Black people. Nonetheless, having great grammar and diction is not synonymous with forgetting or not recognizing the struggle of being Black. Just like being a living stereotype does not make you the epitome of Blackness.

HIJACK!

This makes me think of that poor Black man on "Tyra" who was living out his greatest fantasy of being made up as a white man. He might be one of the exceptions on my theory because he just doesn't want to be Black. I hope he got therapy for that.)

/HIJACK!

I completely agree with you. It used to bother me when my friends would say "you gettin jus like dem white folks." I used to hate when they would say that and it would make me feel like that I was betraying my blackness somehow. Thank God I quickly got over that and learned that my blackness is NOT defined by how I speak.

Back to the hijack, when was this show? That's just as crazy as the woman who was on the show because she married an asian man because she did not want her children to "look black." How ridiculous ! I hope she got some help too.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally Posted by jojapeach

LMAO @ the EASY button!

I borrowed that from Ziasha07