What if you never get married?

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by LightBulb
I don't know when/if I will have kids but probably soon after that, since I am Catholic.

Well, I'm Catholic too but that's not running my timeline.......

[CarolinaDG]

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
Nothing says you can't have those without being married.........

Well, having a 2-story house without someone living with me would be a little large... I may get scared at night. But the Mercedes and BMW are definitely in my 10-year plan! The Beamer was going to be my family car, though, and the Mercedes was going to be my convertible.

[AlphaSigOU]

I just turned - egads! - 40 on Monday and am so not in a hurry to marry and have kids. Sorry to disappoint you, Mom and Dad, you ain't getting any grandkids for a while.

[amycat412]

Originally posted by AlphaSigOU
I just turned - egads! - 40 on Monday and am so not in a hurry to marry and have kids. Sorry to disappoint you, Mom and Dad, you ain't getting any grandkids for a while.

Happy Belated Birthday. I'm 35 and feel the same way...tho I am in a serious long term rela and we plan to get married one day, but we're just not in a hurry. Life is good as it is, why rush things. lol

[Lisa Fishman]

I guess I also subscribe to the same thoughts as Valkyrie does. When I was younger (though, I'm still not old per sey), I never really thought about getting married or having children. Now that I'm older, my priorities are changing, I've had and kept a job, own and keep my own home, car, have a pet cat and do a bit of traveling now and again. I do all of those things by myself and I'm happy with it all, but I have found recently that there isn't anyone to fill the gap. I know that sounds pathetic and I should just say, "Ok, I am happy and satisfiyed that I have that, I don't need anyone." It is a basic human need to have someone and because of that it may or may not happen some day.

[axidhawkeye]

i was talking to some of my mother's friends a little while ago, and they have been together for probably almost thirty years, and never married (in Illinois there aren't common law marriages apparently), and i think it goes to show that you don't have to be married to be in a really longterm, committed relationship. they got to a point that they didn't see a reason to get married. i didn't relize until a few years ago that they weren't actually married.

[honeychile]

I recently talked with a woman, about 40 but much less mature, who was crying and upset that "God must hate her because she's not married."

I tried to explain to her that marriage solves very few problems, and causes many more; that if she doesn't feel complete without a husband, she'll feel even worse with one. This went on for a while, but I think you all get the drift.

I feel sorry for her - she is so sold into an "Ozzie & Harriet" world that she simply can't understand that it probably never existed in the first place.

As for me, I always assumed that I'd marry, but never really made huge decisions concerning it. Well, unless you count that I took a job that I knew I could never take as a married woman early. I'll never regret taking that job, nor quitting when I did - lots of personal growth & fun experiences!

[gamer_girl]

I probably shouldn't admit to all of this...but...growing up the only dream I was really allowed to have was getting married and having kids. Ever since I can remember career dreams were always knocked or crushed by my parents and no matter what I wanted "how will your husband fit into that?" or "when will you start with making us grandchildren?"...and I watched my sisters give up their dreams to be wives and humor their husbands and be devoted to their children above all and they are just miserable. They want a career.
So I was always kinda forced into wishing for it and hoping for it and it got where I wanted marriage some day just to escape the childhood I had full of abuse and it's sad really.
About a year ago I learned that I have this hormone problem that someday could prevent me from having children. I still can right now, but there's a good chance that much later and I won't be able to. My parents hated me so much for this. And now most my relationships have been awful and eh, it's like I get to start from scratch.
I get the new dreams now...coming up with what I want and it's scary. I kinda want to keep the marriage one just because it's comfortable. But hey, I'm not quite 20 yet...so I have time to um, dream, still....I think....

didnt mean to ramble..just the topic made me think a lot

[texas*princess]

This is pretty silly... but back in high school, I made really good friends with this one guy (he was the super hot foreign exchange student from scotland ). We made one of those My-Best-Friends-Wedding-type pacts that if we were both unmarried and not seriously dating anyone by the time I was 28 (he's a year older than me) that we'd marry each other. It's actually pretty silly... hehehe. We still keep in touch a lot ... so if I'm not married by then.. I have a backup... unless of course he's already married... in which case I will just have to settle for my super fabulous career and the 2 puppies I plan on getting eventually

[EPTriSigma]

I think a lot of people are placing to much emphasis on planning a wedding rather than planning a marriage.

[amycat412]

Originally posted by EPTriSigma
I think a lot of people are placing to much emphasis on planning a wedding rather than planning a marriage.

YES YES YES

I knew I was with the right guy when I stopped caring about the wedding and started thinking about the lifelong committment. That said, we're not married and I go back and forth on how important that is to me.

Ultimately, I do want to get married. But its not the most important thing to me, not by a long shot.

[adpiucf]

My stepmom and my mom, neither of whom I have ever been close with, have picked up the annoying habit of inquiring about my lovelife.

99% of the time if I am dating someone, I don't "write home" about it. Until I'm ready to introduce someone to my family, I just don't see the point. I live far from my family and it's not like they can keep straight all of my female friends and co-workers names, so why add more confusion to the mix. And I hate getting the, "And how is Mr. ADPiUCF?" They don't know him, haven't met him... who really cares?

So lately, I have been getting the "are you dating anyone?" (maybe I am, and maybe I'm not, but I usually answer "no") and I get silence, a sigh, and then, "well you'll meet someone when your're not looking."

I feel this implies that my life in incomplete and inadaquate without a man. And the idea of my parents thinking about my sex life kinda freaks me out.

So I recently sat down with my mother, and told her that I while I know she wants what is best for me and for me to be happy, I get a little down when she asks about my dating life. Just that the way she goes about it makes me feel I should think there is something wrong with me. And that it's not fair. She understood and said we wouldn't mention it again unless I brought it up. I really appreciated that.

My stepmother, however, screeched like a banshee that it was a normal question, and why must she walk on eggshells with me? Priceless-- she asked if I considered seeing a professional counselor to talk about this with? And so on and so on.

I should point out that my stepmother raised me with my dad, and mom was not in the picture.

Anway, to end a very long post-- why can't a girl be successful in life and let her parents leave it at that?! There's nothing wrong with me for having standards in work, dating, etc, and nothing wrong with keeping things private from my parents. We were never best friend-buddy buddy to begin with, so I can't really even begin to understand where my step-mom expects me to be her new best girlfriend and share intimate details that are none of her business.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by EPTriSigma
I think a lot of people are placing to much emphasis on planning a wedding rather than planning a marriage.

No truer words have ever been spoken!

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by EPTriSigma
I think a lot of people are placing to much emphasis on planning a wedding rather than planning a marriage.

Truer words ever spoken...

And Honeychile... You go gwirl, with your baaaayyyyaaaddd sef...

gamer_girl--

You should go the highest you can go with all your accomplishments you can achieve... Do not let ANYONE ever stop you from what you ultimately want to do... Life is short. And it is not how long, but how well will your live your life... If you want to be an astronaut, then go for it... If you want to be a "mommy" then go for that too... But this arguement has been one of the longest since Women's Rights... How do you balance family and career? It can be done, but with various flavors the fit the various lifestyles...

I am one to truly think that one must pursue what she is destined to do... If not, then life is mediocre.

[Optimist Prime]

Originally posted by Lil' Hannah

hahahaha futurama