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  #61  
Old 10-12-2003, 12:30 AM
MTSUGURL MTSUGURL is offline
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We don't just bury our head in the sand and think, "oh these kids will never have sex if we tell them not to, and this magic little piece of paper they signed will keep them pure until marriage!" We're not idiots. We teach them about other ways to protect themselves, and I have personally been with several girls when they took pregnancy tests. I don't know how many I've picked up and driven home from parties, their boyfriends' houses etc after they had either had sex and were distraught or needed a way out of a bad situation. They need support in their decision if they decide to remain virgins, not rolled eyes and attitudes of "Oh yeah we'll see how long that lasts."
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  #62  
Old 10-12-2003, 12:22 PM
smiley21 smiley21 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by sugar and spice


But a lot of programs that push abstinence ignore the reality that kids are going to have sex at some point, be it now or later, and they need to be prepared. Too many programs are too idealistic in thinking that virginity pledges are going to work 100% of the time. But they don't. Kids who are committed to abstinence need to be taught the same things that kids who are having sex are taught -- because someday they WILL have to face the same situations.

when i was in 7th or 8th grade, i made a virginity pledge. during christmas, i wrote a promise to God that I will stay pure until marriage. I feel bad that I broke the promise. But not so bad that I wish I was a virgin again. Because if I were to go back to the moment when I had sex for the first time, I would do it again. The only gulit I have is breaking that promise.
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  #63  
Old 10-12-2003, 01:02 PM
James James is offline
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Can we all pause for a second and think outside the box?

What we are really arguing is competing social agendas. Some are religion based. Some are humanist. All are designed to condition people into appropriate behavior.

Following me so far?

Apropriate behavior is a value judgement, and representative of a comfort zone.

The human animal wants to have sex. THIS Human animal, wants to have it an awful lot lol.

The human society starts creating social rules to shape our sexual behaviors.

Usually its done with shoulds, backed with guilt and fear of consequences.

For example. You should sleep with only people you love. Otherwise if your number count gets too high you are a slut. OR you might get a disease, pregnant, stretched out, or whatever.

In the case of this thread. The competing social agendas are:

Abstinence, a hold over religious doctrine that in its purest sense is looking to create a social pattern that encourages to pair-bond and only have children in wedlock to two parental units. In its less pure sense, there are people that are genuinely uncomfortable with their sexuality that are major proponents of this program. Think of the type of thinking tht would outlaw blow jobs in 7 states.

The other social agenda is education and protection. That just says, look people are going to have sex, lets try and protect against unwanted pregnancy and disase while people are screwing around. This program is supported by people that would rather have children born into stable family settings but might be a little less uncomfortable about the idea of sex itself, a little less religious, or just pragmatic.
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  #64  
Old 10-12-2003, 01:47 PM
UKDaisy UKDaisy is offline
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.......

Who are some of you hanging out with? Virgins tell people they are virgins???? Where I am from - you keep it to yourself, or you're made fun of!!!!
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  #65  
Old 10-12-2003, 02:15 PM
ztawinthropgirl
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UKDaisy where are you from? Where I am from people respect others decisions. I am not going to preach to someone that goes around having sex. The only thing I would say is just be careful because I care. I don't want them to get pregnant and/or get a disease. If you don't want someone to say they're a virgin then don't say you're sexually active. Makes sense, doesn't it?
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  #66  
Old 10-12-2003, 06:26 PM
MTSUGURL MTSUGURL is offline
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I consider myself intelligent, fairly educated, and I have a good amount of life experience. Does the fact that I advocate abstinence mean that I am uncomfortable with my sexuality? I am very glad that humans are sexual creatures, I am very thankful that God created sex - I just see it as something so personal and wonderful that it shouldn't be shared with just anyone. Contrary to popular belief, not all of those who believe absitinence is the best and right way are saying you will go to hell if you have sex. Nor are we uneducated prudes that think that if we tell our kids "Don't do it" that they'll never be faced with situations in which they have to make a choice.
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  #67  
Old 10-12-2003, 06:33 PM
bethany1982 bethany1982 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by MTSUGURL
I consider myself intelligent, fairly educated, and I have a good amount of life experience. Does the fact that I advocate abstinence mean that I am uncomfortable with my sexuality? I am very glad that humans are sexual creatures, I am very thankful that God created sex - I just see it as something so personal and wonderful that it shouldn't be shared with just anyone. Contrary to popular belief, not all of those who believe absitinence is the best and right way are saying you will go to hell if you have sex. Nor are we uneducated prudes that think that if we tell our kids "Don't do it" that they'll never be faced with situations in which they have to make a choice.
Great post.
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  #68  
Old 10-12-2003, 06:51 PM
ztawinthropgirl
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I agree!
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  #69  
Old 10-12-2003, 08:39 PM
GMUBunny GMUBunny is offline
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I'm far from being a virgin, but I refuse to criticize someone who chooses to remain one. I learned a lot from my most recent ex-boyfriend who is 21 and still a virgin. He wants to wait until he finds the right girl. At first I was somewhat irritated that he wasn't going to give it up. I think it's mostly because I felt that he didn't really like me if he didn't desire me that way. That right there is the thing that made me grow from our relationship, as short as it was. It had just become a main focus of a lot of my past relationsips, and I think that becomes a huge problem with other people, too. I always thought I was smart enough to know that just because someone doesn't want to sleep with you, it doesn't mean they don't really like you...BUT I was succeptible to that notion and it hurt me. It caused problems and was one of the issues during our breakup. I held out for 2 months with him and after we broke up, I realized that I didn't need sex like I thought I did. So anyway, sorry for rambling, but I just wanted to say to anyone that's waiting- good for you and if you need a guy who's holding out I know one!!!!
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Last edited by GMUBunny; 10-12-2003 at 11:47 PM.
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  #70  
Old 10-12-2003, 08:42 PM
cashmoney cashmoney is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by GMUBunny
I'm far from being a virgin


I was thinking the same thing.
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  #71  
Old 10-12-2003, 08:47 PM
Optimist Prime Optimist Prime is offline
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Hail Casear!

I name myself Roman Emporer. This thread is an orgy. Get scrumpin. +
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  #72  
Old 10-12-2003, 11:42 PM
AchtungBaby80 AchtungBaby80 is offline
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Re: Hail Casear!

Quote:
Originally posted by Optimist Prime
I name myself Roman Emporer. This thread is an orgy.
All right, let's choose our escorts...*sings* yes, no, no, no, yes...

I love that movie.
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  #73  
Old 10-13-2003, 11:34 AM
James James is offline
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Re: Re: Hail Casear!

"Its good to be the King . . ." - --- King of France

Quote:
Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
All right, let's choose our escorts...*sings* yes, no, no, no, yes...

I love that movie.
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  #74  
Old 10-14-2003, 01:47 AM
SirHornyToad SirHornyToad is offline
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my 2 cents. I wont have sex with a virgin unless like im going to marry her or I really really really really love her. Girls tend to get kinda psycho and clingy when you take thier virginity and unless you plan on bein there for the long haul dont do it, let some other guy take the fall.

Head... its a beautiful thing, I best is gettin your balls sucked... yaay
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  #75  
Old 10-14-2003, 10:44 AM
DWAlphaGam DWAlphaGam is offline
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hahaha, I saw this article and thought of this thread. (BTW, so I'm actually contributing to the discussion, too, here's my $0.2: There's nothing wrong with being a virgin or a non-virgin; do what you want to do, but don't try to force your point of view on anyone else or judge them for their decisions.)

Anyhoo, here's the article:

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/livin...ry_031014.html

Is Sex Necessary?
The Benefits Certainly Seem to Outweigh the Risks


By Alan Farnham, Forbes.com
Special to ABCNEWS.com


Oct. 14 — Fans of abstinence had better be sitting down.

”Saving yourself” before the big game, the big business deal, the big hoedown or the big bakeoff may indeed confer some moral benefit. But corporeally it does absolutely zip. There’s no evidence it sharpens your competitive edge.

The best that modern science can say for sexual abstinence is that it’s harmless when practiced in moderation. Having regular and enthusiastic sex, by contrast, confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female. (This assumes that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.)

In one of the most credible studies correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast, Northern Ireland, tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare persons of comparable circumstances, age and health.

Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards.

The Many Benefits of Sex

Other studies (some rigorous, some less so) purport to show that having sex even a few times a week has an associative or causal relationship with the following:

Improved sense of smell: After sex, production of the hormone prolactin surges. This in turn causes stem cells in the brain to develop new neurons in the brain’s olfactory bulb, its smell center.

Reduced risk of heart disease: In a 2001 follow-up to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.

In reporting these results, study co-author Shah Ebrahim displayed the well-loved British gift for understatement: “The relationship found between frequency of sexual intercourse and mortality is of considerable public interest.”

Weight loss, overall fitness: Sex, if nothing else, is exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories — about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or playing a spirited game of squash. The pulse rate, in a person aroused, rises from about 70 beats per minute to 150, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort.

British researchers have determined that the equivalent of six Big Macs can be worked off by having sex three times a week for a year. Muscular contractions during intercourse work the pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms, neck and thorax.

Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men’s Health magazine has gone so far as to call the bed the single greatest piece of exercise equipment ever invented.

Reduced depression: Such was the implication of a 2002 study of 293 women. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.

Pain relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This in turn releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headache to arthritis to even migraine. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.

Less frequent colds and flu: Wilkes University in Pennsylvania says individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30 percent higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system.

Better bladder control: Heard of Kegel exercises? You do them, whether you know it or not, every time you stem your flow of urine. The same set of muscles is worked during sex.

A happier prostate? Some urologists believe they see a relationship between infrequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate. The causal argument goes like this: To produce seminal fluid, the prostate and the seminal vesicles take such substances from the blood as zinc, citric acid and potassium, then concentrate them up to 600 times. Any carcinogens present in the blood likewise would be concentrated.

Rather than have concentrated carcinogens hanging around causing trouble, it’s better to evict them. Regular old sex could do the job. But if the flushing of the prostate were your only objective, masturbation might be a better way to go, especially for the non-monogamous male.

Having sex with multiple partners can, all by itself, raise a man’s risk of cancer by up to 40 percent. That’s because he runs an increased risk of contracting sexual infections. So, if you want the all the purported benefits of flushing with none of the attendant risk, go digital. A study recently published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce by a third their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.

Risks of Too Little, Too Much Sex?

While possession of a robust appetite for sex — and the physical ability to gratify it — may not always be the cynosure of perfect health, a reluctance to engage can be a sign that something is seriously on the fritz, especially where the culprit is an infirm erection.

Dr. J. Francois Eid, a urologist with Weill Medical College of Cornell University and New York Presbyterian Hospital, observes that erectile dysfunction is an extension of the vascular system. A lethargic member may be telling you that you have diseased blood vessels elsewhere in your body.

“It could be a first sign of hypertension or diabetes or increased cholesterol levels. It’s a red flag that you should see your doctor.” Treatment and exercise, says Eid, can have things looking up again: “Men who exercise and have a good heart and low heart rate, and who are cardio-fit, have firmer erections. There very definitely is a relationship.”

But is there such a thing as too much sex?

The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you’re female, probably not. If you’re male? You betcha.

Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman’s overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman’s tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.

Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician/gynecologist in Elko, Nev., concurs. If a woman is pre-menopausal and otherwise healthy, says Winch, her having an extraordinary amount of intercourse ought not to pose a problem.

“I don’t think women can have too much intercourse,” he says, “so long as no sexually transmitted disease is introduced and there’s not an inadvertent pregnancy. Sometimes you can have a lubrication problem. If you have that, there can be vaginal excoriation — vaginal scrape.”

Women who abstain from sex run some risks. In postmenopausal women, these include vaginal atrophy. Winch has a middle-aged patient of whom he says: “She hasn’t had intercourse in three years. Just isn’t interested. The opening of her vagina is narrowing from disuse. It’s a condition that can lead to dysparenia, or pain associated with intercourse.”

As for men, urologist Eid says it’s definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than may actually be good for them.

The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you’d just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.

“Yes,” says Eid, “It is possible for a young man who is very forceful and who likes rough sex, to damage his erectile tissue.” The drugs increase rigidity; moreover, they make it possible for a man to have second and third orgasms without having to wait out intermission.

“I see it in pro football players,” says Eid. “They use Viagra because they’re so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It’s part of playing football: you play through the pain.” This type of guy doesn’t listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone, and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion.”

There’s a reason the penis, in its natural state, undergoes a period of flaccidity: That’s when it takes a breather. The blood within it is replenished with oxygen. “During an erection,” explains Eid, “very little blood flows to the penis. During thrusting, pressure can go as high as 200 mil of water. Zero blood flows into penis at that time.”

To absorb oxygen, the tissue must become relaxed. “If you do not allow the penis to rest, then the muscle tissue does not get enough oxygen. The individual gets prolonged erections, gets decreased oxygen to tissue, and could potentially suffer priapism,” adds Eid. (We recommend you get a medical encyclopedia and look it up.) “The muscle becomes so engorged, it’s painful. Pressure inside starts to increase. Cells start dying. More pressure and less blood flow. Eventually the muscle dies. Then there’s scarring. That’s why it’s considered an emergency.”
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