What's wrong with the black female?

[DoggyStyle82]

lluvmook98: I think you may have been reading too much Iyanla or some other specious new age philosophy. It is true that in todays environment, males and females bring a lot of emotional and pre-relationship baggage to the table. In that construct, indeed, the individuals need to know that they are whole and complete before they can consummate something larger. My sense of completeness is that a man's life is incomplete or rather not as complete without his mate. It does not mean that he/she is not well-rounded or not together. But man and woman were made for each other and complement each other. We are basically splitting hairs, but there is no greater or better creature ever created by the hand of God than the Black Woman.

[lluvmook98]

What did I say that had to do with new age philosophy?

MissDiamond mentioned that YOU said men/women complete each other and I merely stated that we should complement NOT make each other. What does that have to do with new age? Please inform me.

Oh! I never said there was anything wrong with the black women and I never said anything about baggage?
I'll re-read, maybe I am wrong.

[This message has been edited by lluvmook98 (edited October 18, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by lluvmook98 (edited October 18, 2000).]

[lluvmook98]

DoggyStyle: Yeah Brother, I just re-read and the only PERSONAL OPINION that I expressed was that a couple's collective happiness depends upon each others ability to bend.

The other comment that I made was what someone else said to me that I thought was relevant for people to realize. As much as we are designed for each other, some, (esp. some women) forget that there are two and only think of one (not themselves) Yes we need to remember the divine appointment of the male/female relationship but people also need to know that they are bigger than just their partner's happiness. I can not make you happy if I'm not happy to some degree. What is so new age about that?

OOPS there I go getting defensive again. *lol*


[This message has been edited by lluvmook98 (edited October 18, 2000).]

[tickledpink]

Originally posted by jazbri:
Some women feel that if they concede or if they compromise in a relationship they feel that they are being submissive. Some women feel that if they hold their tongue and 'pick their battles' they're allowing their men to get over on them! Some women feel that if they choose the man that may not have all of the very same credentials they themselves have, they are somehow settling. I recognize these characteristics within myself and my peers....

...But after re-reading the title, aren't these characteristics that many non African American women (especially Caucasion women) have as well? Respectfully, I would like to bring a few points to the forefront:

I've viewed many mixed couples, and to be honest, I've never seen this "tongue-in-cheek" Caucasion woman that I've heard is fantasized about by these brothers. At the risk of stepping on toes (sorry, but it's my opinion), many (not ALL) of these women are very beligerent, obnoxious, and are trying to emulate the stereotypical "sista girl" that I resent because I personally do not feel that I carry myself in that manner. They do not display the characteristics of the epitome of womanhood, especially in the lower echelons of society (to put it nicely) and this is usually what is chosen. And when I've seen upper class non-african american women with a brother, it's usually after he's gotten successful. On the other hand, many sista's have been with the brothers when they've had nothing, and suddenly, now that they're successful, we are no longer good enough... we have too many emotional hang ups.
It is frustrating to see these women "tolerated", to see our brothers "yes ma'aming" and "no ma'ming" them, simply because of their skin color. Yet, when we've held our tongues for too long and enough is enough, have opinions, and are strong --- then we're "trippin'".

No, I do not think that there is anything wrong with the Black Woman in general. We all have areas that we need to improve in, but that's across all races. If a black man chooses to be with a woman of a different ethnicity, that's fine --- especially if he chose her because he truly fell in love with her. But we are not to blame.

Oh --- and AMEN to DoggyStyle's comment.

[lluvmook98]

That is cold soror.

[This message has been edited by lluvmook98 (edited October 18, 2000).]

Glad that I was not on your "hit list"

[This message has been edited by lluvmook98 (edited October 18, 2000).]

[tickledpink]

Sorry, Mook, but I had to tell it like I have seen it -- as blunt as it was. However Jazbri, my post was in no way intended to "attack" or belittle your opinion. I believe that as adults, we can respectfully agree to disagree.

[Professor]

I agree, there is nothing wrong with the black woman!

[jazbri]

I'm feeling you Tickled Pink...

I believe one of the best avenues of learning is through discussion and debate. Although I may not agree with you I have none the less learned something of value from you.

Again, I just want to put it out there that I am in no shape or form a proponent for the excuse used by many bruthas out there of blaming us for their CHOICE to date outside of their race... Somehow, I feel that a lot of respondents feel that my beliefs are so aligned. My original question was posed that way to be an attention getter and I suppose that's what it has done!



[This message has been edited by jazbri (edited October 19, 2000).]

[AKA_Monet]

First off, MissDiamond, thanks for droppin' some knowlege!!! We all really need to keep redirecting ourselves as sistahs.

Secondly, as a friend of mine says, bruhs that are pursaded by caucasian women--it's just one less person to think about at Christmas time... Forget a bruh, 'cuz it's like trying to change a gay man, straight...

Thirdly or shall I say on the 3rd eye, Afrikans stuck in amerikkklan were unable to foster positive enlightening relationships simple because it could spell death for the relationship participants. The europee-on slave masters didn't want the slaves' sons and daughters risin' up and takin' over the plantation, that's why he killed the men AND women and sold off the children when families were formed.

When our enslaved ancestors were "emancipated", the first folk they would try to find is someone remotely related to them that had an impact on their lives. That's why extended family is such a treasure for the Afrikan family...

I have had plenty of bruhs knock me down spiritually enough to know that it's their issue. If I wanted to kick myself down, I certainly don't need a spiritually inept person helpin' me. And that's gotten me beyond the hurt. As far as bruhs dating, marrying and lovin' other women, the longer we assimilate completely into this culture, the more destituted our Afrikan families will be... Oh well, 'cuz sistahs are coming back with a vengence dating, marrying and lovin' other men... And not to bash a bruh for his finances, but if I were one of those women that had to have the funding by her man, why would I date bruhs? Hell, when my brother got married to his white woman, my parents asked me if I would marry a white man!!! I said I would marry a white man... Only if he were rich, like "Bill Gates" rich, 'cuz why date a poor one when there are enuf strugglin' bruhs out there that need lovin' too? My folx thought I was crazy...

But I cain't help myself to some nice, deep, dark, smooth, caramel, cream-filling, truffle tastin' chocolate... Don't let the smooth taste fool yah!

[AKA2D '91]

WHOAH!