Picky dinner guests (kids)

[ISUKappa]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I thought I'd update. So we're at my sisters. They were making burgers, dogs and chicken. I brought chips, cheetos and roasted potatoes. Oldest kid (10) didn't want any of what his dad was cooking on the grill, so my sister made him grilled cheese (he asked for two sandwiches). An hour goes by, and he has taken one bite. She begs him to take "2 more". He refuses, then puts the plate where the ever-food-stealing dog could get it (on the floor in front of the tv).

Sister is furious. Kid says, I want a burger instead. Kids 2 & 3 ask for hot dogs. Well, all the burgers & dogs have been eaten. So dad goes and cooks a few more. Sister makes plates for all the kids (who have now taken the whole bowl of cheetos into the living room). Kid #1 says "I don't like these burgers, they're too big." (They are normal burgers you get at the grocery store, on a regular hamburger bun. He wanted the flat, 4-oz McD's burger)). So my sister cuts it in half. (I suggested to squish it down but that wasn't helpful). Then he says "it looks half-eaten. I don't want it". And keeps watching tv.

Kids finish off the cheetos, none of them had eaten a lick of real food (except for #3 who had a hot dog and half a cucumber), but ran to the fridge for ice pops, which mom said "no" too, but they still ate them. THANK GOD I had not hosted, because #1 was in a foul mood.

We did end up having fun, everyone playing outside, basketball, football, playing on the swings, searching for birds' nests in the trees (the kids LOVED that), looking for fairies in the mushrooms on the tree line, coloring (my favorite)... overall it was a great day.

O.M.G.

Those kids have complete control over their parents and they know it.

*shakes head*

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I thought I'd update. So we're at my sisters. They were making burgers, dogs and chicken. I brought chips, cheetos and roasted potatoes. Oldest kid (10) didn't want any of what his dad was cooking on the grill, so my sister made him grilled cheese (he asked for two sandwiches). An hour goes by, and he has taken one bite. She begs him to take "2 more". He refuses, then puts the plate where the ever-food-stealing dog could get it (on the floor in front of the tv).

Sister is furious. Kid says, I want a burger instead. Kids 2 & 3 ask for hot dogs. Well, all the burgers & dogs have been eaten. So dad goes and cooks a few more. Sister makes plates for all the kids (who have now taken the whole bowl of cheetos into the living room). Kid #1 says "I don't like these burgers, they're too big." (They are normal burgers you get at the grocery store, on a regular hamburger bun. He wanted the flat, 4-oz McD's burger)). So my sister cuts it in half. (I suggested to squish it down but that wasn't helpful). Then he says "it looks half-eaten. I don't want it". And keeps watching tv.

Kids finish off the cheetos, none of them had eaten a lick of real food (except for #3 who had a hot dog and half a cucumber), but ran to the fridge for ice pops, which mom said "no" too, but they still ate them. THANK GOD I had not hosted, because #1 was in a foul mood.

We did end up having fun, everyone playing outside, basketball, football, playing on the swings, searching for birds' nests in the trees (the kids LOVED that), looking for fairies in the mushrooms on the tree line, coloring (my favorite)... overall it was a great day.

Yikes.

You know, I used to hate when my parents whooped my ass, buuuut...soooometimes...

[BabyPiNK_FL]

There would be a lot of grumbling tummies and red behinds if that ever happened at my house.

[LatinaAlumna]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Yikes.

You know, I used to hate when my parents whooped my ass, buuuut...soooometimes...

Yes. This is a time when my parents would have said, "Do you want to eat, or do you want to get smacked?"

I accommodate for the special diets in my family (some low-carb items for the diabetics, onions/peppers on the side where possible for those who can't stomach them, and caffine-free drinks for my sister who gets heart flutters). But that's it. If you or your kid is a picky eater, you better bring your own food or stay home. I also don't allow children (or anyone, really) to mouth off in my home. I have no problem telling a relative's kid to watch his/her mouth. Luckily, my friends' children do not act this way.

Ree-Xi you have been more than gracious to this point (more than I would have been). I'm not sure if you have the kind of relationship with your sister where you can just say, "DO A BETTER JOB RAISING YOUR KIDS!" If not, maybe just try to limit the amount of times you invite her family over to your house. Family gatherings are supposed to be fun, not frustrating.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

Yes. This is a time when my parents would have said, "Do you want to eat, or do you want to get smacked?"

I accommodate for the special diets in my family (some low-carb items for the diabetics, onions/peppers on the side where possible for those who can't stomach them, and caffine-free drinks for my sister who gets heart flutters). But that's it. If you or your kid is a picky eater, you better bring your own food or stay home. I also don't allow children (or anyone, really) to mouth off in my home. I have no problem telling a relative's kid to watch his/her mouth. Luckily, my friends' children do not act this way.

Ree-Xi you have been more than gracious to this point (more than I would have been). I'm not sure if you have the kind of relationship with your sister where you can just say, "DO A BETTER JOB RAISING YOUR KIDS!" If not, maybe just try to limit the amount of times you invite her family over to your house. Family gatherings are supposed to be fun, not frustrating.

That's more than I'll do. If I am entertaining, I'll let folks know what I'm cooking. If they can eat it, come on by. If they can't, sorry -- we can meet for drinks or something after.

And I have no problem telling ANYONE (children or their parents) to watch him-/herself if I feel like I'm being disrespected in my home. My friends know this about me, though, and will make sure that their children (if I haven't met them yet) are well behaved.

The kids that I have met already know not to mess with me

[33girl]

These kids will get straight when they start being invited to their friends' houses for overnights. Being called "babies" because they won't eat what is there will be much more effective than anything the limp-noodle parents could ever try.

[CopterDad]

I don't see why so many people are advising Ree-Xi to limit her time with her family over a ten year old kid. She obviously enjoys the time with them as evidenced by her post. It sounds like they had a great time overall.

Ree-Xi has already leveled with her sister on the issue and I believe sister told her basically that it is what it is with the kids.

For what its worth, when my nephews and nieces come over, they eat what we put out on the bar, or it sets until they want something else at which time they see the same dish. But, my wife "don't take no crap."

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by CopterDad

I don't see why so many people are advising Ree-Xi to limit her time with her family over a ten year old kid

Because...

Ree-Xi has already leveled with her sister on the issue and I believe sister told her basically that it is what it is with the kids.

If her sister isn't willing to correct her kids' actions, ree-xi shouldn't have to put up with their BS.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by CopterDad

Ree-Xi has already leveled with her sister on the issue and I believe sister told her basically that it is what it is with the kids.

It isn't what it is, though. Your kids are only your own. No one else has to tolerate the nonsense that you encourage.

Ree-Xi felt some kinda way about it and shared the story with us. She's the one who decides how much she can tolerate. Not us.

Originally Posted by CopterDad

For what its worth, when my nephews and nieces come over, they eat what we put out on the bar, or it sets until they want something else at which time they see the same dish. But, my wife "don't take no crap."

Uh, so you agree with us. Got it.

[Low C Sharp]

Post #61 reminds me of a family that my sister used to babysit for.

Daughter (5 years old) would say, "I want French toast for breakfast." Nanny (following Mom's orders) cooks French toast. Daughter looks at her plate and says, "Yuck, this is nasty! I don't want French toast! I want oatmeal!" French toast goes RIGHT INTO THE TRASH and a second meal is cooked. And so on.

I was absolutely speechless. This was 20 years ago, and the daughter has grown up to be exactly the kind of self-important diva you would imagine from that upbringing.
________
Housewives Webcam

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by 33girl

These kids will get straight when they start being invited to their friends' houses for overnights. Being called "babies" because they won't eat what is there will be much more effective than anything the limp-noodle parents could ever try.

Oh, they do go to other kids' houses and sleep over. They also are in boy scouts and do those overnights. I honestly don't know what they do regarding food. I'll try to find out (and ask in a way that doesn't make her defensive lol).

I know that I should/could limit the time i spend with them, but in the end, they are family. I kept to myself when the food drama started, and just distracted myself by coloring with #3 (who, by the way, made me a book out of drawings, stapled it, made a cover for it, and just stole my heart). As I get sicker, more and more of my "social" time is spent with family, who understands my needs and limitations, versus a huge group of friends who still like to go to bars and party all night.

Thanks for the very helpful suggestions and insights. I think that the next time I host a food-related event, I will talk to the kid one on one and tell him that I am not going to waste food, and that what he asks for, is what he'll eat. No one can argue with common sense. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this isn't important, but when I throw a picnic or dinner, it takes a lot of energy, and I hate for it to leave it on a bad note. I want my nieces and nephews to respect me, but also remember me fondly.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Thanks for the very helpful suggestions and insights. I think that the next time I host a food-related event, I will talk to the kid one on one and tell him that I am not going to waste food, and that what he asks for, is what he'll eat. No one can argue with common sense. I know that in the grand scheme of things, this isn't important, but when I throw a picnic or dinner, it takes a lot of energy, and I hate for it to leave it on a bad note. I want my nieces and nephews to respect me, but also remember me fondly.

Honest opinion, you know kids' attention spans are are short as a sip of water. Not to mention if they do listen, they will try you just because. You need to square this away with their parents first and instruct them on your house rules so you don't have to worry about this again.

If it's still a sore point, then as we all have more or less said, they can stay home or find someplace else to eat.

You are kind enough to have food available when company comes but it's not fair that you cater to their whims.

I hope it all works out for you!

[CopterDad]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

It isn't what it is, though. Your kids are only your own. No one else has to tolerate the nonsense that you encourage.

Ree-Xi felt some kinda way about it and shared the story with us. She's the one who decides how much she can tolerate. Not us.



Uh, so you agree with us. Got it.

Haha. I'm trying not to, but it's hard to side with the kid on this one.

My youngest son lives on Fruit Loops and skim milk for days sometimes but he still likes to get out of the house. It's just that cereal is not offered at many cookouts.

[libramunoz]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Honest opinion, you know kids' attention spans are are short as a sip of water. Not to mention if they do listen, they will try you just because. You need to square this away with their parents first and instruct them on your house rules so you don't have to worry about this again.

If it's still a sore point, then as we all have more or less said, they can stay home or find someplace else to eat.

You are kind enough to have food available when company comes but it's not fair that you cater to their whims.

I hope it all works out for you!

I am very much in agreement with DS.

The issue isn't with having to take it "up with the kids" and talk with them, it's talking with your sister.

I'm sorry, but I am not, as they say in TX, finna waste food, family or not! I will be damned and some ass would be busted! I have NO problem in whipping the ass of the kiddies or of the family! Plain and simple.

You don't like what I am serving, you see the door you walked in, walk you and your families ass out of it and don't look back!

Ree, I know that you enjoy your family, but you have to set some definitive limits for yourself. You sister is using both your illness and her kids against you to allow her children to get away with being mannerless.

These children are, as my Momma would say, Cruising for a bruising. Because I bet you a dime to a dollar, at their friends houses or camp outs with the Cub Scouts, they don't pull that crap. Kids know who they can get away with crap and who they can't. And if they see that they can get away with their behavior and NO ONE will CORRECT their rude butt behavior, they will.

And I'm sorry, but this is just the issue of it. They are seeing that their Mother and Father are allowing this behavior without correction, but unless you become willing to stand up to Momma and Poppa, the kids are going to continue with the same behavior towards you and your family.

Baby Girl, you just gotta stand up to sis and let her know, hey, this is what I'm cooking, don't want it, got two options, leave or eat. Then on top of that you need to let her know that hey, if you bring something to my house that I didn't want brought in (in order to continue your children in being mannerless), hey, you got to go, I don't know where, but you're getting the hell up outta here.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Parents usually pack lunch for picky kids, don't they?

What I understood at the time was that they basically ate McDonalds and other things that would not be taken easily to school. I figured if the kids were picky enough they would have trouble taking lunches to school. My school also was super worried about allergies and we had a fairly large list of things we could not bring (there was one sad kid whom if he even was in the same room as a peanut he would have a reaction)