Retro Recruitment.....with a different ending

[CZAXOTerp]

I was also wondering about how this guaranteed placement would work w/ regards to chapter's membership standards. AXO is public with our 5 membership criteria: 1) Academic interest; 2) Character;
3) Financial responsibility; 4) Leadership ability; and 5) Personal development.

I know they seem general- but there are plenty PNM's who don't meet all 5.

Also we have publicly listed on our website our statements of position and in that document it also states:
"Fraternity Rights
Alpha Chi Omega is a private women’s organization that is committed to protecting its rights as such. The Fraternity reserves the right to determine its own member recruitment and selection processes and procedures..."

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by CZAXOTerp

I was also wondering about how this guaranteed placement would work w/ regards to chapter's membership standards. AXO is public with our 5 membership criteria: 1) Academic interest; 2) Character;
3) Financial responsibility; 4) Leadership ability; and 5) Personal development.

I know they seem general- but there are plenty PNM's who don't meet all 5.

Also we have publicly listed on our website our statements of position and in that document it also states:
"Fraternity Rights
Alpha Chi Omega is a private women’s organization that is committed to protecting its rights as such. The Fraternity reserves the right to determine its own member recruitment and selection processes and procedures..."

Yeah, or what if you have serious No-Recs from alums? I don't know how you'd really do it.

It just seems to me that in many recruitments, wouldn't you release some girls who did meet all five who just weren't as awesome as the ones you gave bids too? Aren't there some girls who you release you don't really want to release?

Really guaranteed matching and quota additions may be the right way since the group does actually probably want the girls they pref; it's just a question of rank.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by jwright25

The process PeppyGPhiB describes is called Accept/Regret - where chapters issue invitations and PNMs pick the ones they want to attend up to the max allowed for that round. The other option is called Priority Ranking where chapters submit lists privately, PNMs rank privately, and the computer matches them up. The reasons some Panhellenics choose Priority over A/R are many, including:

c - less "public" embarrassment for the PNM. If someone she privately ranked high cuts her, she doesn't have to admit it if she gets a list that is already matched for her and they aren't there. It won't be as public to see all the girls who get 12 invites to the 7 party round when she only has 4. With Priority, the girls who technically got invited to all 12 will only have 7 on their list, which is only 3 more than the girls who got cut by all but 4.

This goes the other way, too, to help the smaller chapters. Girls don't compare invites and see "Oh, XYZ invited everyone back. I had kinda liked XYZ, but they must be desperate for members."

I rushed the last year that UIUC used A/R (SORUSH). After 19-party, I got invited back to 12, and got to pick 10. I was happy, until I got back to the dorm and my three best dorm friends had gotten 19, 19, and 18 invites. So I was a big supporter of the switch to priority (PRUSH).

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

I'm sorry, AlwaysSAI, I wasn't talking about you! I was speculating about what would happen if the type of girls that were discussed in the "Psycho/Stalker PNM" thread rushed at Tufts, where they have to be accepted somewhere. Someone here told a story about a girl who was cut early on but showed up at bid day at the house and cried, hung out outside the house during meetings, etc. That clearly isn't you. But I wonder what in the world they do with "that" girl at Tufts, because you know that there's one of her (or more) at every campus. Nothing can really get the message across to people who lack the skills to hear it.

Even if you have to give them a bid, do you have to initiate them? Can't you eliminate them during the pledge period?

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Even if you have to give them a bid, do you have to initiate them? Can't you eliminate them during the pledge period?

I don't think so. I think that's a policy of the past.

[AlwaysSAI]

I thought I would post before I started my list of Saturday morning errands.

I woke up super early the morning of Preference.....I WAS SOOO EXCITED! I went to get breakfast and then I called my sister. What I said to her still resonates with the remainder of the day.

"Stephanie, things are going too easy for me. Things are never this easy for me." I said. She reassured me that everything was going to be fine. I was going to wear the beautiful dress I had planned on and she also pointed out that it was very unlikely that both groups dropped me over night. She stressed that I had most likely been invited back to at least one group. I try to hear what she is saying.....she has been through formal recruitment and loves her organization AND she was only invited to pref at the house where she found her home. But, I can't stop thinking it. THINGS ARE NEVER THIS EASY FOR ME. I rarely get what I want the first time around. But, I had faith. I had an excellent GPA, I was super friendly, and begun to become a leader on my campus. And anyway, the greek advisor said we were gaurenteed an org. Looking back, I think I knew. I had that feeling in my stomach.

I sat down in front of my computer at around 12:30p. I was trying to keep myself busy....I had about 6 hours until it all began. Around 12:45 my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize...my stomach sank. But, I picked it up and happily said hello. One the other said, "Hi AlwaysSAI, this is Jess, how are you today?" I told her I was fabulous I still remember saying that exact word. She replies with, "Well, I have some bad news...Oh, God, here it comes....the one thing I dreaded. you have not been invited back by any sororities tonight. I said okay, trying to fake my usual happiness which is so upbeat there is no way it can be fabricated. She points out that there are other sororities on campus, Theta Nu Xi is the only one she named. I wanted to scream at her "IF I WANTED TO JOIN TNX, DO YOU THINK I WOULD HAVE PAID $25 FOR A NPC SORORITY, WHEN I COULD HAVE ATTENDED TNX'S EVENTS FOR FREE???!!!" I didn't, I remained poised. WoW, writing this is bringing tears to my eyes. She asks me if I need to talk. I politely tell her no, my voice is starting to shake now. Thinking, "WHY WOULD I WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO GOT INTO A SORORITY, SOMEONE WHO FOUND HER HOME, SOMEONE WHO WASN'T THE EPITOME OF REJECTION!!!!" Of course, I didn't say it, I remained poised.

I hung up the phone and broke down. My worst fear had actually come true. I immediately called my sister, crying so hard I could barely breathe. She knows what it means and she is as stunned as I was. She can't believe I wasn't invited back to either org. She urges me to call my Pi Chis, I refuse. "I'M NOT GOING TO GO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO GOT INTO A SORORITY. I ALREADY LOOK LIKE A HUGE LOSER AND CRYING TO HER ABOUT IT IS JUST GOING TO MAKE IT WORSE. WHAT CAN A PI CHI DO FOR ME?? SHE CAN'T MAKE EITHER ORG INVITE ME BACK!!!" She continues to urge me to call one of them and I refuse. I'm NOT going to do it. And, anyway, what does she know about it, SHE GOT IN! I give up trying to talk to my sister. At this point, I am disgusted with the campus, I have to get off, I have to go home, I have to go somewhere other than here. It was at that point that I began contemplating tranferring from the school I loved. I called my very best friend in the whole entire world who had seen me through hell my freshman year. She picks me up, realizing that I am too upset to drive. We went back to her apartment and ate a lot of Ben & Jerry's and watched movies.

She took me home later that night. I didn't want to talk to anyone else. I had been so excited about joining for so many months, I was too ashamed to call anyone. The rest of the night is a blur, honestly, I don't remember it.

I woke up on bid day, crushed, once again. I slept half the day away and when I woke up, the bid day festivities had began. I laid in my bed and watched out the window as all those other women achieved my dream. All those women with balloons and t-shirts-I could hear all the chants and screams of joy. I followed the noise into the bathroom and continued to watch the festivities from the bathroom window. I imagined myself there. Of course, it wasn't any condolence, when I opened my eyes I was in the bathroom, still in my pajamas.

I spent, I don't even know how much time, agonizing over what I did wrong. I was more prepared than half of those freshman. I knew what kind of time commitment a sorority involved. I wanted to spend my Saturday mornings doing workshops and evenings having study hours. I knew all the hours that went into preparing for recruitment. I was prepared to spend every weekend with my sisters doing philanthropy activities, retreats, everything. I spent hours agonizing over how an uniformed freshman without an established GPA and no other campus activities would make a better candidate than me.

My NPC search doesn't end there. Anyone want to hear what happened over the next couple of weeks.

[dukemama]

Since I rushed over 20 years ago, I remember very few of the pertinent details of my experience (probably at least some of that has to do with intentionally blocking out bad memories)...BUT your sadness at being rejected certainly resonates with me. It happened to me TWICE.

You said your NPC adventures hadn't ended yet at that point. Did you go through informal rush afterwards? Do tell!

[twotimestalia]

Originally Posted by dukemama

Since I rushed over 20 years ago, I remember very few of the pertinent details of my experience (probably at least some of that has to do with intentionally blocking out bad memories)...BUT your sadness at being rejected certainly resonates with me. It happened to me TWICE.

I had rushed and was rejected twice too!

Originally Posted by dukemama

You said your NPC adventures hadn't ended yet at that point. Did you go through informal rush afterwards? Do tell!

Tell us pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!!

[dgdramadawg]

Oh, alwaysSAI! You really know how to break our hearts!

[AnatraAmore]

Awww... AlwaysSAI, your story reminds me so much of my own first experience going through recruitment. Please continue!!!

[KSUViolet06]

I know this happened awhile ago, but it's still sad to read. I appreciate you sharing though, it's a unique perspective of recruitment that I think many people can relate to.

[AlwaysSAI]

As I mentioned, my sister is an Alpha Gamma Delta at Western Carolina Univ. At the time, she was dating a brother of Sigma Alpha Epsilon who was also a member of the chapter's charter class. I spoke with him about what it takes to charter a group on campus. He tells me that it's a lot of work, but that he knows I'm dedicated enough to get through it.

I immediately call the director of Greek Life at UNCG and inquire about beginning the process of chartering a chapter of an organization on campus. She tells me that our campus isn't open for extension until 2010. Well, I'll already be graduated by then.

Remember how much I loved Tri Sigma during recruitment? Well, they hadn't reached quota through formal recruitment. I befriended a girl during formal recruitment that went Phi Mu, but had also preffed at Tri Sigma. She told me that they gave out 25 bids, but only got 12 girls.

Tri Sigma began advertising for interest parties the week after recruitment ended. I really, really wanted to go. But, I vowed not to say a word to anyone about it-you know, in case there was another sad ending. Of course, my very best friend in the whole entire world saw the signs and told me she thought I should go. I told her that I planned on it, but that I wasn't going to say anything to anyone.

So, I went to the first interest party and HAD A FABULOUS TIME! I loved these girls! I couldn't understand why no one wanted to be apart of their sisterhood. To me, they felt like home. On my way home I ran into my newly Phi Mu friend. I told her what a great time I had. She asked me how many girls were there and I told her ten. She said that we might all get picked up because they were trying really hard to reach quota. I hopefully agreed. No phone call that night.

There was another interest party a few days later. I went and had another awsome night! I spent the majority of the night talking to two sisters who roomed together and the three of us had a friend in common. We had such a great time that one of the girls asked me for my AIM screenname so that we could get together sometime. I WAS THRILLED! I was sure they had finally seen how dedicated I was and would give me a chance. I really felt at home with these girls. This was the group I wanted to be apart of. Nope, no phone call.

The interest parties ended and the chapter ended up picking up a lot of girls after showing up to only one party. I was disappointed. I wasn't sure why they would pass up someone who was obviously dedicated. But, they had and there was nothing I could do about it.

Back in the days of LiveJournal, I made a post a few weeks after everything ended. The post simply said that I was going to give up on Sigma Sigma Sigma Sorority. Someone so nicely posted "Thank God!" anonimously. It was at that moment that I realized there was no reason I should have my heart set on an organization that doesn't want me. I was a great girl that was going to make a name for herself at UNCG and if they couldn't see it, that was their loss.

Okay, so my journey for sisterhood doesn't end there......

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Back in the days of LiveJournal, I made a post a few weeks after everything ended. The post simply said that I was going to give up on Sigma Sigma Sigma Sorority. Someone so nicely posted "Thank God!" anonimously. It was at that moment that I realized there was no reason I should have my heart set on an organization that doesn't want me. I was a great girl that was going to make a name for herself at UNCG and if they couldn't see it, that was their loss.

Okay, for the sake of not having a PNM read this and think that Sigmas are these awful people, I have to say something. That's not a nice comment at all, but if it was anonymous, you really don't know WHO posted that.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Okay, for the sake of not having a PNM read this and think that Sigmas are these awful people, I have to say something. That's not a nice comment at all, but if it was anonymous, you really don't know WHO posted that.

Oh, no! You are absolutely right, I have no idea who posted it and I didn't intend for it to appear that a Sigma had. But, it was that comment that changed my entire perspective on the situation. Anyone could have posted it. Honestly, I'm thankful to whoever did.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by AlwaysSAI

Oh, no! You are absolutely right, I have no idea who posted it and I didn't intend for it to appear that a Sigma had. But, it was that comment that changed my entire perspective on the situation. Anyone could have posted it. Honestly, I'm thankful to whoever did.

It could have been a Sigma, but it could have also just as esaily been one of your friends who was sick of you pining away for an organization that didn't want you.

[AlwaysSAI]

Originally Posted by JessSigKap

It could have been a Sigma, but it could have also just as esaily been one of your friends who was sick of you pining away for an organization that didn't want you.

We will never know who it was. I don't want to pin it on any particular organization, because it was anonymous. My guess, is that it was one of my friends, because who else would care enough to read my livejournal.

The only reason I included it was because it affected my view of the situation. Had it not been for that comment, I would have gone to informal events in the spring, which I was already planning to do.

Either way, I'm still thanksful to whoever it was.