Why? Sophomore UGA story

[Lightning Bug!]

Originally Posted by UGAALUM

I know some colleges don't have houses only lodges, but for the ones that do I think living in the house is the best experience I ever had. Back in the day we lived in the house for 2 years because the houses were large and the chapters smaller ( late 1970) You can live in an apartment after you get out of school, but only one time in your life can you live in house. If you don't want to do it why join a sorority? The thing that has amazed me is the number of parents that pay for their daughter to live in the house and then rent an apartment for them. As a Mother why wouldn't you want your daughter to live in the house with a House Mother (no curfew) that allows no alcohol, smoking or boys in the rooms. I know some parents say they can't study, but there are quiet hours and study rooms better than the dorms.

Oh, I liked living in the house...I did it for three years! I just came from a campus where 30-40 girls living in-house was the norm, and I was surprised to see "only 66"! I was thinking about the days when all thirty-something of us were hormonal and stressed out and then tried to multiply that by 2! But I also remember the nights we used to run out and 'borrow' fraternity composites, and we could have come up with some much more elaborate missions had we had double the numbers in-house...

[alum]

The OP doesn't actually say this is her daughter in either of her two posts. It could be her aunt, grandmother, close family friend, older bio. sister...

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by alum

The OP doesn't actually say this is her daughter in either of her two posts. It could be her aunt, grandmother, close family friend, older bio. sister...

Oh ok, didn't see that. My original comment still holds though. War and recruitment are incomparable.

[nittanyalum]

Oh, woops, I saw "snakealum" and immediately assumed it was a male and a Sigma Nu. Alum. But I agree, I never read him (her?) describe the person in question as a daughter, but there's obviously some close tie there. (maybe it is an SK alumna that wrote a rec?)

[pbear19]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Oh, woops, I saw "snakealum" and immediately assumed it was a male and a Sigma Nu.

How funny, when I saw the name I immediately assumed it was a mom and a Sigma Kappa.

[texas*princess]

Dear OP:

Membership selection is confidential. We cannot tell you why your daughter/cousin/whoever did not get a bid. You have to understand that your daughter is ONE girl in a SEA of equally or "more qualified" (in the chapter's eyes) women who are all vying for the same spots. Maybe she got overlooked? Maybe she said something crazy on accident during rush parties? Maybe she didn't get cut b/c of her status? We don't know that. Also, I'd recommend reading the link in OTW's signature.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^ I agree. At the end of the day, we can speculate, but no one can tell you for sure why your friend/daughter/sister/whoever was cut.

We weren't there to see her interact with the chapters, nor were we in the room when the chapters were making their membership decisions.

Cuts are tough for the girls and their friends/families who have to comfort them, but at the end of the day, college (and life) goes on. Rejection is tough for anyone, and probably even moreso for young college aged women who have been successful at everything else.

The best thing we can do is say that we're sorry things didn't work out. The best thing you can do as a friend/mom/aunt/whomever is encourage her to enjoy the rest of her college experience, whether that means looking into COB opportunities (if there are any at UGA) or just forgeting about Greek Life, getting involved elsewhere, and moving on.

[baci]

In a realistic world here, no one can feel comfortable in all of the groups and feel they can be a part/fit into all of the groups to maximize their options. Sure she can go to all of the parties and try, but having 12 that she was "solidly interested" in was a very high percentage. From my experiences, young women usually are not that openminded and do not have an interest in that many groups.

Honestly, she would not have been an asset in one of those other grouops because she did not have the desire/compassion to join. That is one thing I always keep in mind.

Sorority life is a wonderful experience, but in all honesty it is not always about GPA, activities, philanthropy, and recs that help you to receive an invite. Enough said.

I do hope she finds peace now as the semester starts and maybe something will happen for her when she least expects.

[shadden]

This year there were alot of sophomores going through rush at UGA - don't know how it compares to previous years, but there were easily over 100, maybe closer to 200. I know some who did pledge, so obviously it was not an impossibilitly. Again, this was a great group of girls overall, and I think that really impacts the liklihood of sophomore pledging. It has become so difficult to get into UGA, that few girls are released due to grades - there has to be other criteria, and I am sure class standing is one of the big things.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by baci

In a realistic world here, no one can feel comfortable in all of the groups and feel they can be a part/fit into all of the groups to maximize their options. Sure she can go to all of the parties and try, but having 12 that she was "solidly interested" in was a very high percentage. From my experiences, young women usually are not that openminded and do not have an interest in that many groups.

I disagree. She is a sophomore, which means she has been on campus long enough to know the stereotypes, "tiers", etc.

There is no way that there are SIX out of SEVENTEEN chapters that someone just "wouldn't fit into or feel comfortable in"

One or two, maybe, but six is ridiculous.

She basically ruined her chances the second rush started by placing a big red X on those six chapters.

Honestly, she would not have been an asset in one of those other grouops because she did not have the desire/compassion to join. That is one thing I always keep in mind.

Well if those chapters weren't good enough for her, I suppose it's a good thing she ruled those out early on so that those chapters could choose women who did want to be there that would make good members.

But if she's not going to maximize her options, there's no reason why everyone needs to be upset about her not receiving a bid. I can't guarantee that she would have received a bid to any of those houses, but it's a possibility, right? We'll never know b/c she ruled them out early on.

I can't count on all my fingers and toes the number of stories on here where women didn't get their "top choice" houses, and were somewhat disappointed on bid day, but then turned around their attitude and realized how wonderful this house was and how they wouldn't have it any other way.

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

There is no way that there are SIX out of SEVENTEEN chapters that someone just "wouldn't fit into or feel comfortable in"

One or two, maybe, but six is ridiculous.

She basically ruined her chances the second rush started by placing a big red X on those six chapters.

I agree, but the caveat is that a PNM not feeling she would be comfortable in 6 chapters is outrageous...but it's not always outrageous that a PNM would not feel comfortable in 6 chapters (out of 17) based on how they presented themselves during rush. At my campus I think I could fit into the overwhelming majority of chapters (if not all of them), but during recruitment we all know of chapters that come off poorly despite their incredible group personality. Sometimes they act stressed, sometimes defeated, sometimes reeking of trying too hard, etc. That act will undoubtedly lead women astray about their true personality...after bid day, often these chapters will be some of the most fun and down to earth!

That's why I'd advise women (only at a competitive school where COB/COR opportunities are practically non-existent and often as competitive as the original formal recruitment) to accept any bid and roll with it for a few weeks. Often times a chapter will scare away PNMs based on poor recruiting skills (often fostered by an intense or negative recruitment chair or recruitment advisor) but in reality they are a very fun group of women.

[texas*princess]

^^ I agree that poor recruitment skills could be a factor in some cases, however, in this case, the OP said, and I quote:

1 - Maybe, but she did have 12 solidly on her "very
interested in" list going in. She was cut by all but one after second round.

Which means she made up her mind, without having attended a single recruitment party, which ones she felt were 'acceptable'. So in this case, the recruitment skills had nothing to do with it.

[violetpretty]

We still don't have the whole story here. We do know that this PNM was cut by 11 of her 12 favorites after round 1. Did she go to round 2? Did she go to round 3? Did she try to give all the groups a chance and "get cut by all of them" before pref?

I might have some sympathy if this girl all chapters another chance and was cut from ALL chapters, but if she saw her list and decided none of those 6 were good enough for her, without giving them another chance, sorry, no sympathy from me.

[MaggieXi]

Also, on certain campus' (and this may or may not apply to UGA) but if a girl is very vocal about how/why she doesn't like XYZ or thinks she is better than XYZ prior to going through recruitment- other sorority women could find out and this could be a huge negative factor towards the PNM.

[EE-BO]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

We still don't have the whole story here. We do know that this PNM was cut by 11 of her 12 favorites after round 1. Did she go to round 2? Did she go to round 3? Did she try to give all the groups a chance and "get cut by all of them" before pref?

I might have some sympathy if this girl all chapters another chance and was cut from ALL chapters, but if she saw her list and decided none of those 6 were good enough for her, without giving them another chance, sorry, no sympathy from me.

I wasn't going to say anything since it does not matter at this point, but as long as we are being asked to come up with reasons why this recruitment situation did not work out, I have a comment and a question.

Comment- I was at UGA over 10 years ago for part of my undergrad experience, and so things might have changed- but while there are "tiers" at UGA, the fact is all of the sorority chapters there have a lot going for them and the majority are pretty stunning across the board. This is in contrast to most other southern schools I know where quality and stability can vary a great deal.

Point being, if daughter came into this not interested in 1/3 of the chapters- that sounds like coming into the process cutting certain chapters from the list based on them "not being good enough". At other schools, one might expect a person taking this approach to only want a few houses- but at Georgia to only want 2/3 of the houses seems like a "not good enough" play to me.

Question- There is something here that makes no sense to me and could shed light on this whole affair,

Based on the posts we have a PNM who sounds like a solid candidate on paper, who came from a Greek background (meaning parents/family members would have an idea what goes on and what rush entails), who has a lot of solid recs lined up and who went to UGA as a freshman. In other words, this is someone who would come into the rush process likely to be a lot more aware of how it works than many other PNMs.

So why wait to sophomore year to rush at a highly competitive campus? If this is really what the PNM wanted going into college, the most basic research would have quickly shown that rushing as a freshman was essential.