Legacy Dilemma - Page 4

#46 06-04-2008, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

NPCers, do you blatantly ask "Why do you want to be an XYZ?" during rush? or is that some rule infraction?

As far as I know asking that question does not break any rules and I have asked rushees that in the past, usually right before Pref Ceremony.

DSTCHAOS · #47 06-04-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

Maybe not so much today, but in my mom's day when she joined SGR in the early 1960's, joining a NPHC org also meant entree' (?sp) into Black High Society. It was a lot of the NPHC orgs back then that gave the swanky dances, fashion shows, parties, cotillions and beautillions for the Black community.

This was also the case decades before the 1960s.

This still applies at some undergraduate chapters (particularly those who have remained relatively exclusive and usually work closely with a graduate chapter) and in many alumnae/graduate chapter servicing areas.

DSTCHAOS · #48 06-04-2008, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

There has definitely been an increase in recent years of people joining the NPHC orgs after undergrad but I'm not sure if more people are joining after college vs. undergrad although this could be the case for some of the orgs.

I'm sure all of our nhqs have data on this. However, the demographic data that I have seen doesn't break the alumnae membership down into undergrad initiates who graduated as compared to alumnae initiates.

In the areas that I'm used to, you're more prone to run into graduate and alumnae intiated frat and sorority members, particularly people who couldn't make certain organizations at certain schools.

taurus0426 · #49 06-04-2008, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tld221

Well, if you decide to rush an NPC, im sure "Why XYZ?" will come up. Wait, let me not assume.

NPCers, do you blatantly ask "Why do you want to be an XYZ?" during rush? or is that some rule infraction?

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black

I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

tld221 · #50 06-04-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black

I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

its not her decision. its yours.

and if you cant explain to your mom "why a white sorority" then you might have to work on that, because it wont be the first or last time youre asked that. hell, maybe your decision will encourage your mom to be active again, in some weird way.

rhoyaltempest · #51 06-04-2008, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black

I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

This might be true on the surface but if you dig deeper, you'll find that a lot of NPHC members and people interested in the NPHC orgs really just like the way we do things versus other councils. They really admire our missions, values, and awe-inspiring legacies. They are really impressed by the fact that we take our lifetime commitment very seriously and the commitment to our communities very seriously. We actually feel like it's our duty and responsibility to uplift and support the Black community and the greater community; it's not just a bunch of philanthropic activities we're doing. Many NPHC members have sat thru countless interviews with interested persons and the reasons that people want to join our orgs are based on a whole lot more than just because they are Black...and of course we know that not everyone is Black. So the reasons people are attracted to us are many.

I said all this to say that your mother's "why?" may actually go deeper than you think.

fantASTic · #52 06-04-2008, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

No what I mean is she's saying why in regards to why would I join a WHITE sorority. If I joined any other D4 she'd probably be miffed but be like "at least its NPHC" like that's reinforcing I'm still black

I'm starting to think this may be a generation clash.

If I was in your situation, here is what I would do:

Firstly, I would find out exactly what your mother believes about the NPHC organization she's a part of. I mean like...why does she think it is a worthwhile organization? When she says things like service, sisterhood, life long commitment, et cetera...relate those things to the NPC. Once she sees that you can still get a meaningful experience out of the NPC, I bet she'll come around.

rhoyaltempest · #53 06-04-2008, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

If I was in your situation, here is what I would do:

Firstly, I would find out exactly what your mother believes about the NPHC organization she's a part of. I mean like...why does she think it is a worthwhile organization? When she says things like service, sisterhood, life long commitment, et cetera...relate those things to the NPC. Once she sees that you can still get a meaningful experience out of the NPC, I bet she'll come around.

Her mother isn't going to be satisfied until she shows her that she's done some research and knows a little more about the NPHC orgs and what they have to offer and I don't blame her. Right now it sounds like the poster doesn't know much about greek orgs overall, NPHC or otherwise. I would be upset too if my daughter didn't at least look into my organization to determine whether or not it's right for her.

taurus0426 · #54 06-04-2008, 07:11 PM

I'm coming close to screaming. She keeps bouncing back and forth from saying I should choose my own path to looking at me pscyho when I said NPC.

I've had a year to figrue out stuff and to that person who just said it was my decison I know but I dont want this to get out of hand and cause some drama...beacuse it will. This isnt the first time I've done something like this (not-Greek but "switching sides). I'm looking at a service GLO so that's a plus....no arguements there.

You know the only person who's a neutral party is my dad....which proably beacuse he was really understanding about when my brothers didnt pledge his frat and went GDI.

Does anyone know of any links related to this topic? Maybe something for "sorority moms?"

AKA_Monet · #55 06-04-2008, 08:08 PM

Taurus,

Your mom is trying to reactivate her membership. It is going to cost her gajillions. You need to plainly ASK her point blank why you cannot choose your sorority of choice.

Because the way she is seeing it is like Sistergreek RoyalTempest said: why NOT her organization? Did those girls on campus say ANYTHING to you to think anything otherwise? That is running across her mind... The reality is she would not be in this situation if she chose to pay for you to college elsewhere...

Having legacy in your family is a "status symbol" in the NPHC. To say all generations of women are "XYZ Sorority" is important. Now that your folks are empty nesters, they are trying to reconnect to their "activism" roots and friends their age. When one is around all of that, folks are "bragging" about their children's accomplishments. I know, my folks still do it all the time with me and my brother--and we are late 30's/early 40's!!!

I don't think anyone's parents can STOP living vicariously through their kids (33girl

). So, it is what it is...

Only 2 people I know who can answer those kinds of questions, my Soror Barb and Sistergreek Ladygreek. Both have daughters. One person's daughter had chosen to stay in the "family way".

I must say as a huge legacy myself, it is very nice to experience family at various Sorority functions. And that is how I get my paraphrenalia. Also I get a guided level of leadership not just from my Soror mother and grandmother, but also their contemporaries who are actually being my elders to me.

If I had chosen another NPHC, my parents would have harped on their friends to protect me. But, welp, that did not happen. I choose the familiar versus the unknown. It is the best decision in my life.

No one on GC is going to say, join whatever organization. That is a bogus thing to say. Whatever fits for you, is what fits for you. Cool beans. But your mom will eventually forgive overtime. But I doubt it will happen immediately.

taurus0426 · #56 06-04-2008, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Taurus,

Your mom is trying to reactivate her membership. It is going to cost her gajillions. You need to plainly ASK her point blank why you cannot choose your sorority of choice.

Because the way she is seeing it is like Sistergreek RoyalTempest said: why NOT her organization? Did those girls on campus say ANYTHING to you to think anything otherwise? That is running across her mind... The reality is she would not be in this situation if she chose to pay for you to college elsewhere...

Having legacy in your family is a "status symbol" in the NPHC. To say all generations of women are "XYZ Sorority" is important. Now that your folks are empty nesters, they are trying to reconnect to their "activism" roots and friends their age.

Only 2 people I know who can answer those kinds of questions, my Soror Barb and Sistergreek Ladygreek. Both have daughters. One person's daughter had chosen to stay in the "family way".

I must say as a huge legacy myself, it is very nice to experience family at various Sorority functions. And that is how I get my paraphrenalia. Also I get a guided level of leadership not just from my Soror mother and grandmother, but also their contemporaries who are actually being my elders to me.

If I had chosen another NPHC, my parents would have harped on their friends to protect me. But, welp, that did not happen. I choose the familiar versus the unknown. It is the best decision in my life.

Okay could you explain how my mom wants to reactivate through me? I didnt get this post.

AKA_Monet · #57 06-04-2008, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Okay could you explain how my mom wants to reactivate through me? I didnt get this post.

Membership has its privileges. You and your mother need to talk.

And I would suggest, you may as well tell us: which sorority is your mother a member? Because really posting your confounded decision is causing us to become lemers and commit 切腹...

DSTCHAOS · #58 06-04-2008, 09:42 PM

The play-by-play is annoying.

sigmadiva · #59 06-04-2008, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

which sorority is your mother a member?

See page 1, post #2 of this thread. My Soror RhoyalTempest quoted taurus' post before she changed it. Her mother is an AKA.

AKA_Monet · #60 06-04-2008, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sigmadiva

See page 1, post #2 of this thread. My Soror RhoyalTempest quoted taurus' post before she changed it. Her mother is an AKA.

I have different intuition now... LOL Thanks...

Can we close this thread because this item cannot be discussed now...

How you conduct yourself on GC is a reflection of how you conduct yourself publicly...

And Taurus--may as well choose an NPC sorority then--if they want to have you, now...