Tipping

[Benzgirl]

MODERATOR!!!!

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by LeslieAGD

I know this is off topic, but I detest when a server brings your food and then immediately sets the bill down on the table.
HELLO?!? How incredibly rude is that!?! Let me enjoy my meal in peace for a few minutes at the bare minimum!

I think that's really rude too. I've had that happen to me several times... and each time, the server never came back to see if we needed refills, or wanted dessert or anything.

That kind of "service" does not merit a great tip IMHO.

[ASUADPi]

I tend to tip pretty good, especially if I have great service. I do the bare minimum of 10% if the service is lousy (I've tipped less and complained as well) and I've given up to 50% (but that was to my sister-in-law ).

As for the auto-gratuity. I can see it as good and bad. It honestly depends on the server. I remember when I graduated from high school, about 30-40 of us went out to dinner. Well because we were a huge party the tip was already included. Well our server, since she knew she was being tipped no matter what, was shitty. It took her 30 minutes to come and take our drink orders, she forgot my table entirely. It took her another 30-45 minutes to bring the drinks out (and again my table still hadn't gotten an order in for drinks). It took like an hour for our food to come and she didn't come to check on us at all. Finally our school student council president (who was a friend of mine) when and complained to the manager (she did it because being the student council president she was an eloquent speaker). The manager actually complied with our request to take her auto-gratuity off. None of us felt she deserved it when she refused to check on us, during a 2-2 1/2 hour time frame only came to the table like 3 times and was a bitch. We each only left her like a dollar in tip, which is sad considering our bill was between 5-6 hundred dollars. But she didn't deserve the 18% tip.

Originally Posted by LeslieAGD

I know this is off topic, but I detest when a server brings your food and then immediately sets the bill down on the table.
HELLO?!? How incredibly rude is that!?! Let me enjoy my meal in peace for a few minutes at the bare minimum!

I see where you are coming from, but I'd much rather a server give me the bill then. I absolutely detest sitting at the table waiting and waiting and waiting for your bill. You can't find your server because who the heck knows where they are, and your just like "okay I'd really like to leave now". That's happened so many times to me. I wonder if it's just an Arizona thing?

[Army Wife'79]

I see where you are coming from, but I'd much rather a server give me the bill then. I absolutely detest sitting at the table waiting and waiting and waiting for your bill. You can't find your server because who the heck knows where they are, and your just like "okay I'd really like to leave now". That's happened so many times to me. I wonder if it's just an Arizona thing?[/QUOTE]

Me too! I love it when they leave the check early and then before I take my first bite, I put my credit card down. When I'm done eating, many times I want to bolt outta there b/c I'm a "type A" person and don't waste time. Of course when I'm out with friends and it's a social event I don't pay early, but when I'm alone or if hubby and I are travelling, it's much easier to just have that part done with.

[AGDee]

So tonight, for my daughter's birthday, she chose to go to PM Mama's restaurant! We had excellent service and I tipped the server way better than my ex husband was going to! (Food was awesome too.. I don't think I'm gonna have to eat tomorrow because I'm so full)

[twinkle555]

I just had the WORST service everrrr and I just need to vent about it!

So we just had Big/Lil breakfast at IHOP (which is my fave breakfast place so its nothing the restaurant did). Anyways, we said we had 20 people coming and the hostess laughed and was like "are you serious!?"......uhh no were effing with you, of course were serious!!

We follow her to this private-ish area of the restaurant...but she didnt set up the tables or anything...she sat us in seperate booths and 4 of the girls got stuck on the other side of this room!! that is NOT how you seat a party of 20!
So then the new member educator shows up a lil late and pulls up a chair to our table. The server comes up to us with this snarky attitude and says "Uhh you cant sit there..I wont be able to serve around you." Riiiight. We had to explain to her that it will be fine and she wont be in the way. Then she tells the 4 girls on the other side of the room that they have to come sit in the table next to the booths. So they pick up and move to the table next to one of the booths. THe server then tells them they cant sit there either and makes them move to the table next to our booth. I was irritated at this point b/c they really should have set up a 20 top instead of moving my sisters around like they are cattle.

So then we order. All i wanted was fruit..I had been craving it all morning. So i TRY to order the fresh fruit and yogurt platter. The server then tells me that I shouldnt get that because its not good....ok...not the choice of words I would have picked but whatever. I then just ask her if i can get a bowl of fruit sans yogurt.She replies "Uh well its kind of the fruit part that isnt good...it isnt fresh." WTF......is she for real? It kind of made me wonder what else "wasnt fresh". So after we ate, she came back to our table to gather our dishes..i then ask her to put my and my littles checks together b/c i didnt have the chance earlier. I get more of her snarky attitude and she tells me she "already had them seperated but she GUESSES she can put them back."

She takes our checks at the door, swiping each of our cards and staring down at us when we write the tip and sign. Also, doesnt say thanks or have a nice day or anything. So rude. I went last and i was sooooooo tempted to ask for the manager..which is something i have never even thought about doing before..but I refrained. She stares at me writing her tip and then SNATCHES the receipt from my hand and storms off to the kitchen.

Worst bitch EVER. Am I right?

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by twinkle555

Worst bitch EVER. Am I right?

I'm going to have to say a few things:

1) I'm not sure if you called ahead to let them know you'd be having such a large group show up? It's usually best to do that so they can set up tables & such beforehand and not have to scramble to put stuff together when someone comes by and says "Hi, there are 5 of us here right now, but we're going to be having 15 others join us in a few minutes".

2) At least she warned you about the fruit's freshness? Maybe there was another reason she didn't want you to order the fruit or something, but I have never been to a restaurant where the server said something wasn't good?

3) It's always best to tell the servers ahead of time that checks will be together/split. I've never been a server, but i bet it's a pain the *** to ring up everything one way, and at the very end have someone say, "oh, we're all paying seperately"

4) This is iHop. It's not some 4-star steakhouse. While I do expect servers to at least pretend to be polite, it's not the kind of restaurant that attracts the most awesome people in the restaurant industry.

5) That's all kind of messed up that she was staring you down come check-out time for the tip. Yikes!

[UofISigKap]

I tip well (usually 20%), and will bust out my calculator to find out 15% to the penny if the server was a few of these: never at my table, no refills on soda, saw other servers more than my own, wasn't pleasant, no effort to fix errors, etc... I think I have only tipped less than that twice, and it was blatant "I don't care about my table" from the server.

As far as the rounding to make the dollar amount even, meh, I didn't care. I did it when I would go to restaurants and didn't care when people did it to me. Money's all good at the end of the night when it's totaled up.

Tipping out? Our hostesses and bus boys were paid minimum and we had to tip out. It was calculated when we'd clock out and print our money summary and stated what dollar amount went where. (Granted, no way to fudge your food/drink $ totals since it was printed right there.) The only problem was there was ONE good busboy who really worked the tables and was worth tipping out (even more than what we needed to) while the other spent most of his time in the back smoking. The hostesses would so often double and triple seat that we were either in the weeds or had no one. Plus, there was a foam box that was passed around to tip food runners, and people were so fed up with giving the required amount to people who didn't do their job properly, that people would often only put in a couple of dollars or would dash out the door before paying in. One girl and her brother were NORTORIOUS for skipping out when it was anyone else, but if one of them food ran? Oh you better believe the other was hunting down people left and right and looking to see how much you tipped their sibling.

[speedsters]

i bussed for 3 years while in high school and i was paid around $5 an hour plus 10% of tips.
i preferred to split up the restaurant if i worked with another bus, so i would get tips from whatever waitresses sections i was in, instead of splitting, because the other guys i worked with slacked off, if that happened usually the waitresses would slip me a few extra bucks after splitting it because they wanted me to keep doing a good job. but by splitting the restaurant i would work with the waitresses who liked me and because they knew i was on top of their tables would tip me more.

i tip 20%, because i know what it is like to work in a restaurant, and if i pay by cash i always tip up to the dollar, but by credit card i make it an even number...

[aggieAXO]

Maybe this has been covered but I am too lazy to read through the entire thread-is it better to tip in cash?

[Cardinal026]

Originally Posted by aggieAXO

Maybe this has been covered but I am too lazy to read through the entire thread-is it better to tip in cash?

I've worked in 9 restaurants, and for any of them I can say that it truly didn't matter if you left cash or not. In the rare event you had tables that paid mostly on CCs, the manager would just give you cash to make up what your tips were, so every night, you were able to leave with exactly what you made - CC and cash. So yep, just do whatever is easier for you.

[AlethiaSi]

Originally Posted by aggieAXO

Maybe this has been covered but I am too lazy to read through the entire thread-is it better to tip in cash?

I've been a server for about 6 years.... and the general consensus amongst myself and my "server" friends, is that cash is better. Most recently, I've worked in restaurants where we don't get tipped out at the end of the night unless there is cash. It goes into our paycheck and we get taxed on it... So, Cash is better in my opinion but it's not a huge deal... I'd rather people focus on tipping well.

I had a table on saturday that was super fun and everything was great with them. The bill was like $550 for 6 ppl with wine, dinner, and dessert... They split the bill 3 ways, and gave me $35 each... I can't remember the exact total, but it ended up not even being 20% all together... (I didn't autograt them because I figured I'd be better off... the "roll of the dice") So, when in a large group and splitting the bill... talk about the tip and make sure it's enough! Thanks that's my PSA for today

[Hopeful_Bubbles]

Originally Posted by UofISigKap

The hostesses would so often double and triple seat that we were either in the weeds or had no one.

Sorry but this just made me smile. I worked with a kid (fellow server and a TKE) who was originally from Texas and he's the only one I've ever heard say that. It became kind of a catch phrase around the place.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by AlethiaSi

I've been a server for about 6 years.... and the general consensus amongst myself and my "server" friends, is that cash is better. Most recently, I've worked in restaurants where we don't get tipped out at the end of the night unless there is cash. It goes into our paycheck and we get taxed on it... So, Cash is better in my opinion but it's not a huge deal... I'd rather people focus on tipping well.

I had a table on saturday that was super fun and everything was great with them. The bill was like $550 for 6 ppl with wine, dinner, and dessert... They split the bill 3 ways, and gave me $35 each... I can't remember the exact total, but it ended up not even being 20% all together... (I didn't autograt them because I figured I'd be better off... the "roll of the dice") So, when in a large group and splitting the bill... talk about the tip and make sure it's enough! Thanks that's my PSA for today

I just did the math. $105 is 19%.

[sugar and spice]

Lots of random questions to answer! I know some of these have been answered already, but I thought I'd add a little bit more perspective.

Several posters have mentioned that servers have to "tip out" the bartenders and bussers at the end of the evening. But it was my understanding that those folks didn't make the lower tipping minimum wage, but who make actual minimum wage. Why should servers, who earn less with the assumption that they will make up for it in tips, have to share their tips with those who make actual minimum wage?

It depends on the restaurant, but bussers almost never make minimum wage, bartenders may or may not. Hostesses will make minimum wage if they are not tipped-out, but less if they are tipped-out (I've never worked at a place that tipped out the hostesses, although I know they exist). At one restaurant that I work at, bartenders only make $3.50/hour, and absolutely depend on tip-outs to make a living. Usually I tip out $2-7 a night, and if you multiply that by the 6-12 other servers on the floor -- and take into account that all the money is going to just one bartender -- it adds up. Without tip-outs, they would be walking out with less money than the servers; with tip-outs, they walk out with about the same amount or slightly more. This is true of most corporate chain restaurants and the independently owned restaurants that operate like chains.

The other place I work at is more of a true bar. The bartenders all make at least $6/hour, and tip-outs matter less -- I generally tip out, at most, five dollars, which is usually split between 2-3 bartenders, and there are only ever four waitresses on the floor at once, so their tip-outs don't add up to much. There, the tip-out system is really just to encourage an atmosphere of cooperation: if part of their income comes from you, bartenders are more likely to be respectful towards you, and you retain some degree over control over your tip-outs . . . for example, you can tip the bartender who makes your drinks fastest more than the other ones who ignore them.

Basically, it's the same rationale for using the tip system when dining -- people are (theoretically) nicer to you when you have some impact on their income, and those who tip out more are rewarded. Capitalism at its finest, essentially.

But what I absolutely loathe is the included 18% gratuity that is automatically put on the bill of a party of 6 or more. If they're a good server, they lose out because now I'll only give them 18% versus the 20% plus that I would've given had gratuity not been included. Also, why should I have to pay 18% is the service is terrible?

Here's a tip for people who don't like the auto-grat: if something is listed as a "service charge" on your bill, you have to pay it. If something is listed as an "automatic gratuity," you do not have to pay it. Legally speaking, it's only a guideline and not an obligation. So while I wouldn't recommend it, you can leave less than the gratuity or nothing at all and have no fear that they're going to send the police to your doorstep the next morning.

Conversely, there's nothing saying that you can't leave more than the auto-gratuity, and many people do. I don't understand why adding the auto-gratuity to a bill would stop anyone from leaving extra if the service was great? I'd say that 20-30 percent of my tables that have an automatic gratuity check will still leave me a little or even a lot extra, and I always appreciate it.

Adding the gratuity is done because taking big parties generally takes up a server's full section and is a lot more work for both the server and the kitchen than separate smaller tables -- timing becomes a lot trickier, plus the server usually can't wait on any other tables while she's taking a big party, and big tables tend to linger longer and talk, which prevents the server from taking any new tables after her big party is done and making money off of those. It's very hard to keep up with a more demanding large party, and it hurts a lot more to be screwed on a tip on a $200 table (that stayed so long they were your only table that night!) than it does to be screwed on a tip on a $35 table that was one of many. For example, last night an entire boys' basketball team (30 people once you counted the coaches) came into the restaurant where I work -- it's state tournament weekend. They took up more than two full servers' sections, took three servers to wait on them, made us keep extra servers on late (servers who couldn't take any other tables while they were waiting on them), made us stay open late . . . and left not a single cent as a tip. This restaurant does not allow adding the gratuity to large parties, so all the servers got burned, and had to do an extra two hours' worth of work for no payoff. Adding the gratuity is just insurance against stuff like that.

Lastly, adding the gratuity to large parties is usually mandated by the restaurant, and not up to the server, so please don't punish your server for doing it to you! Often, they have no choice.

I wonder, though, if gender does make a difference in how a server is tipped. Will a woman-patron tip more for a male server? My hunch is probably yes.

Oh, definitely. I get much better tips from male patrons. My boyfriend, who's a bartender, thinks that females tip better. I've dated a number of bartenders and they've always gotten better tips from women.

I know this is off topic, but I detest when a server brings your food and then immediately sets the bill down on the table.
HELLO?!? How incredibly rude is that!?! Let me enjoy my meal in peace for a few minutes at the bare minimum!

It's certainly rude if it's intended to push you out the door, but that's not always the reason for it. More and more restaurants are training their servers to do this, at least at lunch, because so many guests are businessmen/women on their lunch breaks who are in a hurry and don't want to wait for the server to drop the check at the end of the meal. People are so impatient these days that they'll complain about having to wait a couple minutes for their check at the end of the meal. So dropping it off early makes for a more efficient payment process.

That said, I think it's rude so I don't do it even though I'm trained to. The only time I'll do it is if my table tells me that they're in a hurry, and then I'll explain to them that it's only there for their convenience and that they're welcome to stay as long as they want.

Everybody should keep in mind that often -- especially at chain restaurants -- servers are required by management to do things that they would never do if they were allowed to operate autonomously. These things include adding automatic gratuities, dropping checks early, pushy suggestive selling, gratingly perky "Welcome to _____!" shpiels, carding people who are obviously over 21, etc. If they don't do these things, they can get fired. So if a server's doing something like this that you don't like, think about it for a few minutes and try to figure out if it's really their choice or if it's a management/corporate decision. Don't punish your server via a low tip for doing things that they're probably required to do -- instead, write a letter to the management or, where appropriate, the corporate offices, explaining why that policy frustrates you.

Maybe this has been covered but I am too lazy to read through the entire thread-is it better to tip in cash?

A lot of places it doesn't really matter. Back before computers were invented (lol), it was better to tip in cash because the waitresses would walk out with it right away, as opposed to getting credit card tips later. But these days, computers generally keep track of the credit card tips and adjust, so you walk out with all your tips anyway.

That said, a good credit card tip is always better than a bad cash tip. I've had people pay with a credit card, leave me a bad tip in cash, shrug and tell me, "That's all I have in cash." So put it on the card, dumb@$$ -- that's what the "gratuity" line is there for!