Why I Left GreekChat

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

This is upsetting to many NPC members. Obviously, you're free to disagree but I'd like to suggest that maybe you just don't get it.

Or maybe we get it and it simply isn't that deep.

[IvySpice]

the discussion's very one-sided

Well, if someone wants to speak up for the other side -- the position that people in low-prestige GLO's should keep quiet about it, and if they don't, then it's OK to send them screeds about what an embarrassment they are -- then they can go right ahead. The reason that we're not hearing from "the other side" of the debate is that that position is indefensible, not because the thread is set up to exclude them.

None of the well-brought-up KKGs, KATs, or PBPs I've known would think that it's becoming, appropriate, or polite to address one's elders in this manner, in public or in private.

A word to KaiKey, if she's reading this: If you have to SAY that you're a nice person, you probably aren't. When you're actually nice, people can tell from your behavior.

[susan314]

FTR - I do agree that it is generally poor message board etiquette (not just on GC, but all message boards) to post the contents of a private message in the public forum.

I can't find anything in kaikey's post to "defend," as I completely disagree with the contents of her message. (If she were representing it as her own personal viewpoint, that would be one thing. Jen summed that up pretty well.) But, in the interest of fairness, I will say that I don't necessarily agree with the idea to post the whole thing up on the board either.

[dvs-dz]

I can't begin to tell you how ... inspirational... it is to feel kicked to the ground simply because I'm a Delta Zeta.

But I have long since learned that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" is not the rule on message boards.

[Hopeful_Bubbles]

Posting the pm, I'll admit, is childish. But I felt that the pm itself was fairly childish as well: I'm only saying this because I'm nice but that group sucks- oh and by the way, people are making fun of you. Ditto to whoever said it could have been written in 2 paragraphs minus all the DZ bashing. Like in Sensuret's post. And I'm pretty sure she fully expected him to post it- hence the "taking the fall" business, the last couple lines, and the damage control she's been doing on her other posts.

[IvySpice]

This particular PM writer (1) explicitly contemplated that the contents might be shared and stated that she had nothing to fear from publicity because she was telling the truth; and (2) claimed to speak for a large number of board users. Most importantly, she did not share private information about herself in the PM (other than the fact that she is judgmental and presumptuous).

Because of all those circumstances, I am not too troubled by the etiquette breach of posting the PM. It's very, very different from posting a PM where the writer revealed personal information in confidence.

[33girl]

BamaDad - if your daughter is happy, and if you like posting here, that's all that should matter. The PM you received is riddled with many inaccuracies - such as, DZ being a "teachers' sorority." They were never a member of the AES, which WAS all teachers' sororities so I don't understand where kaikey gets this opinion. That alone, is reason enough to disregard it.

Many of us have gotten our groups raked over the coals publicly - be it blatant or subtle - and we didn't stop posting here. If we listened to everyone who said something mean, as Jen said, there wouldn't be many people on GC.

Oh, and Senusret, to answer your question a couple pages back - the groups that DZ took over became DZ chapters, so I'm assuming they would keep the chapter name of the DZ chapter that was there to begin with. These were not blendings - they were absorptions. aopirose has some good posts on it if you want to search.

[BamaDad DZ]

Thanks for your input. I should have made myself clearer in the original post: I am not seeking sympathy. Kristin's opinion is as insignificant to me as a pimple on a polar bear's butt. The polar bear may care, but I do not. Kristin implied that her opinion of DZ reflected the general consensus of Greeks other than Delta Zeta. I am unfamiliar with the general history of Delta Zeta, such as its origins as a teachers sorority, most closed chapters, national reputation, etc. That is why I appreciate the posts regarding the absorption of chapters, the questioning of the teachers sorority origins, standing in the Greek hierarchy, and related posts. As a non-Greek undergraduate, I simply do not have your insight. When I first received the pm, I thought it wise to discontinue posting because I lacked sufficient knowledge to participate in the GC debate forum. As a USF graduate, for example, I am unable to discuss the intricacies of life at the University of Oklahoma. As a lawyer, I am wise to avoid discussions of medical procedure. As a non-Greek, Kristin game me the idea I might be out of my element. That's all. In short, no sympathy desired here. Just discussion. If you like, close the topic. Regardless of your opinions, individual or otherwise, I will continue to support DZ enthusiastically. I sincerely hope you all have a great weekend!

David

PS I probably did mention that "my daughter is a DZ at Alabama" more than a hundred times. I guess you had that figured out quite some time ago, huh? Sorry!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by IvySpice

This particular PM writer (1) explicitly contemplated that the contents might be shared and stated that she had nothing to fear from publicity because she was telling the truth; and (2) claimed to speak for a large number of board users. Most importantly, she did not share private information about herself in the PM (other than the fact that she is judgmental and presumptuous).

Because of all those circumstances, I am not too troubled by the etiquette breach of posting the PM. It's very, very different from posting a PM where the writer revealed personal information in confidence.

Add onto that that she also claimed to speak for a specific group that she has nothing to do with. I agree whole-heartedly.

Did KKG's HQ start cracking down on posts in March of this year? Because it seems odd that posts that had been up for years would be edited and removed in between the time she sent this PM and it was posted.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by BamaDad DZ

Thanks for your input. I should have made myself clearer in the original post: I am not seeking sympathy. Kristin's opinion is as insignificant to me as a pimple on a polar bear's butt. The polar bear may care, but I do not. Kristin implied that her opinion of DZ reflected the general consensus of Greeks other than Delta Zeta. I am unfamiliar with the general history of Delta Zeta, such as its origins as a teachers sorority, most closed chapters, national reputation, etc. That is why I appreciate the posts regarding the absorption of chapters, the questioning of the teachers sorority origins, standing in the Greek hierarchy, and related posts. As a non-Greek undergraduate, I simply do not have your insight. When I first received the pm, I thought it wise to discontinue posting because I lacked sufficient knowledge to participate in the GC debate forum. As a USF graduate, for example, I am unable to discuss the intricacies of life at the University of Oklahoma. As a lawyer, I am wise to avoid discussions of medical procedure. As a non-Greek, Kristin game me the idea I might be out of my element. That's all. In short, no sympathy desired here. Just discussion. If you like, close the topic. Regardless of your opinions, individual or otherwise, I will continue to support DZ enthusiastically. I sincerely hope you all have a great weekend!

David

PS I probably did mention that "my daughter is a DZ at Alabama" more than a hundred times. I guess you had that figured out quite some time ago, huh? Sorry!

David,
I just PMd you; thanks for the PM and clarification.

KSigKid

[James]

I suppose that naming a demon even by implication can conjure him/her . . .

Originally Posted by centaur532

Haha, then that's the only podium I'll stand from. Not too good with the public speaking.



Yeah, it's Teh Cult. Made in mockery of a long banned member who believed that anyone who agreed with majority opinion about her was obviously not thinking for themselves and just buying into the safety of the GC cult we had going on.



That Kaikey is a classy broad, I tell ya!

[AOII*Azra-elle]

I am utterly appalled by this pm and by some of the behavior of certain GC users! Yes, the event at Depauw is deplorable, but this isn't the only event that has ever happened in greek history! There have been incidents in California and Colorado as well with other organizations!

I went to a school that has a very strong DZ chapter! The women there are great and they show what sisterhood is. Bamadad, don't let the views of one ignorant person make you think that that is what every GC user thinks or feels. It is great that you support your daughter and are proud of her (I know my parents were the same way). I agree with a previous poster that said to put this message in the shredder. This message sent to you was irresponsible and you should pay no attention to it whatsoever. When I heard about the Depauw incident, I was shocked, but that has not colored my view of the DZ organization! I am truly sorry you received this and I hope you haven't changed your view of the DZ organization!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AOII*Azra-elle

Yes, the event at Depauw is deplorable, but this isn't the only event that has ever happened in greek history!

No, it certainly isn't. It isn't even the only event that happened this semester!

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

I don't know a whole lot about DZ, but I can say this...I truly believe "national reputations" are subject to region. Is it really written down somewhere? Is there a RULE for who has the best national reputations, or who the "big three" are? Based on where I grew up and my own knowledge I would have said Chi Omega...that just goes to show opinion is just opinion. I may have a low one of DZ's nationals' decision making abilities, BUT I'm sorry...there's NO way to convince me that DZ has a NATIONAL reputation as the "dog house". I guess opinion is opinion. But really now...how stupid.


And furthermore, let me say this. I don't know about DZ at Alabama. But if the guy's daughter is happy, a true DZ sister, and a productive member of her organization then I think more highly of her than anyone who might be in the "top" houses but treats their organization like a drinking club and nothing more. (And I'm not implying this is who the "top" houses are full of because if that was all they had they wouldn't be on top, but I unfortunately "know" some personally.) I don't give a damn about who the most "popular" letters on campus are. If the chapters have good, productive, loyal sisters then they are a "top" house in my eyes.

It's not the opinion of a majority of people here, as is obvious in this thread.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by dvs-dz

I can't begin to tell you how ... inspirational... it is to feel kicked to the ground simply because I'm a Delta Zeta.

But I have long since learned that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" is not the rule on message boards.

I wouldn't worry about it. Someone can PM me and tell me Alpha Gam's are a bunch of stupid sluts if they want to and yeah...thems might be fightin' words, but I know it's not true. You know what she said isn't true...so don't let it get ya down.