depledging

[Kasis-anon]

You have gotten really excellent advice in this thread. And just to weigh in on your original question; no, I do not think re-rushing will increase your chances of being extended a bid at your "dream house," with or without recommendations-recs are very nice, but they are not magic. You can read enough stories on this board of young women well prepared with recs etc..who were cut heavily during FR. USC is competitive, I wouldn't recommend that a Freshmen woman who was president of her class, a model and working on curing cancer have her hopes set on one single house. Not realistic at all. Soroity rush is mercurial at best, nothing is guaranteed.

And what is it about your "dream" chapter that makes you want to be a part of it? Are they the beautiful girls? Do they value academics? Do they have lots of fun socials? Do they seem to have a sisterhood that you want to be a part of? Do you want to have a connection with those friends/family members who are already a part of that org? Who knows, if on the very slim chance you actually got in with your "dream" chapter they may not end up being such a dream after all.

This is excellent advice.
Sit down and actually write down a list of qualities that attract you to your "dream" chapter. Be honest with yourself, nothing is too daunting or extreme silly or shallow. Now, can you find any of the qualities you admire within the chapter you are already in-even in small measure? Can you work to create or expand them? Are you willing to put in the time and effort?
If you like the campus reputation that ABC has volunteer to work with your communications or PR chair to increase your chapter's campus presence. Is it socials? Again, can you volunteer to work with the social committee?
Also, look around your new member class, these are the women you will be in the chapter with the longest. Do you enjoy their company? Find them fun, interesting, intelligent? These are the women with whom you can bond and make any changes in the chapter that you would like to see.
As has been said before, you are in Greek Life already. As long as really unethical or uncomfortable things are not happening in your current chapter please give it a second look. It takes time to build any friendship and to feel comfortable within any group of people. Give yourself and the chapter a little more time and effort. I promise you that your "Dream" chapter has new members who are having their doubts as well or who don't feel truly "at home." It is part of the process.
Sometimes I think that formal recruitment creates unreasonable expectations in members, all the smiling, decorations etc. It is not realistic. The real business of being in a sorority is building relationships slowly one sister at a time.

[utealum]

I know of at least one PNM who went through recruitment a second time at USC this year- with loads of recs that she didn't have the year before, including some from some sorority bigwigs- and she was still cut pretty soon by her "dream house" as well as all the other bigger houses.

There were also quite a few PNMs who had pledged a smaller house last fall and were going through again with the obvious intent of getting into one of the bigger houses- and that's just not going to happen. They see on your application that you went through last year, and which house you pledged.

Going through a second time you'll have even less of a chance, not more.

[AOII_LB93]

I echo what everyone else has said.

I didn't join my first choice, but like others said, I'm in the best choice for me. I'm glad I'm an AOII now...and not an ABC.

I'll be honest here, and a lot of people are being honest in this thread(it's rather refreshing) even at my school CSULB, where recruitment isn't competitive, if we cut a girl this year, we're not going to give her a bid next year. Period.

And people, for the love of all that is holy(or unholy) stop suggesting AI to everyone! It's still a mutual selection process, just not one on a college campus.

[pinkyphimu]

[i
And people, for the love of all that is holy(or unholy) stop suggesting AI to everyone! It's still a mutual selection process, just not one on a college campus. [/B]

i keep re-reading this thread and i have not seen one person suggest she try to ai. i even looked to see if anyone had edited their posts...and nope, so no one suggested it and yet 3 people commmented on it.

as for as the op, honestly, if you don't want to be greek, then leave. sorority life is much more than 4 years and there are many more women of your org that you might click with! in the alumnae world no one cares if you came from a popular house, or the smart house or the party house.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by lonestaradpi
If you truly love your first choice, perhaps you should wait and seek AI once you are finished with your collegiate experience.

[lonestaradpi]

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
For the love of god............

AI is NOT an alternative for a woman in this situation, one who gets cut form her favorite and still wants to be one.

I know that AI isn't an alternative. Sadly, my gift of sarcasm doesn't come through in a post. My suggestion of AI was silly. Sometimes when you write something down, it doesn't come across they way you fully intended...

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by pinkyphimu
i keep re-reading this thread and i have not seen one person suggest she try to ai. i even looked to see if anyone had edited their posts...and nope, so no one suggested it and yet 3 people commmented on it.

as for as the op, honestly, if you don't want to be greek, then leave. sorority life is much more than 4 years and there are many more women of your org that you might click with! in the alumnae world no one cares if you came from a popular house, or the smart house or the party house.

Actually one person DID suggest it. I quoted it in my response.

[amycat412]

Originally posted by pinkyphimu

sorority life is much more than 4 years and there are many more women of your org that you might click with! in the alumnae world no one cares if you came from a popular house, or the smart house or the party house.

This is SO TRUE and ALL of the sororities at USC are huge nationally and internationally and offer you a wealth of sisterhood and friendship.

Kappa Kappa Gamma, Alpha Chi Omega, Gamma Phi Beta, Pi Beta Phi, Alpha Phi, Kappa Alpha Theta, Delta Gamma, Alpha Delta Pi and Delta Delta Delta.

Sorority membership is so much more than 4 years. I know women in LA in almost all of those houses who ADORE their alum groups and the friends they've made in them.

My best friend, a Gamma Phi, recently relocated to Utah. How has she connected with other women and started new friendships? Her alumnae association.

Consider sorority life beyond your 4 years. While its true there are tiers that are strongly defined at USC and top houses have better social opportunites, ALL of the houses are strong regardless and offer amazing opportunities for their members.

And besides, you can always make friends outside of your sorority as well.

[fighton10]

Thanks for all you advice, the responses haven't been the most encouraging, but they have been one's I needed to hear nonetheless. I would like to say that this week I am going to take a break from "wishing" to be in ABC, DEF and GHI sorority. I'm in the one that I'm in and I am going to make the best of this week, trying to get to know the sisters and being an active pledge in the house. If at the end of the week if I still feel like I don't belong or more confused (which I think at this point is impossible) then I will think about depledging some more. I am going to pledge until initiation knowing that if I depledge I most likely will never have another opportunity to be greek. At this point I am a little disheartened because of the tiers at USC and the lack of social opportunities with certain fraternities that result from being in the house I'm in, but honestly I have come to terms with the fact that the social opportunities I will expierience will be far more that if I were a GDI and always wishing I were greek. Thank you everyone, hopefully the weeks ahead will be easier and I will find my niche at XYZ. It's just hard for me to stop thinking what if...

[kddani]

Originally posted by fighton10
At this point I am a little disheartened because of the tiers at USC and the lack of social opportunities with certain fraternities that result from being in the house I'm in, but honestly I have come to terms with the fact that the social opportunities I will expierience will be far more that if I were a GDI and always wishing I were greek.

What, so you want to depledge because you're not mixing with certain fraternities? Did you join a sorority just to meet guys? What about everything else?

[kddani]

Originally posted by lonestaradpi
I know that AI isn't an alternative. Sadly, my gift of sarcasm doesn't come through in a post. My suggestion of AI was silly. Sometimes when you write something down, it doesn't come across they way you fully intended...

Nice try... It was in the middle of a heartfelt post, with otherwise decent advise. There wasn't anything sarcastic in your post. Just acknowledge it and say you're sorry instead of trying to cover it up

[PKTKKG]

Originally posted by fighton10
Thanks for all you advice, the responses haven't been the most encouraging, but they have been one's I needed to hear nonetheless. I would like to say that this week I am going to take a break from "wishing" to be in ABC, DEF and GHI sorority. I'm in the one that I'm in and I am going to make the best of this week, trying to get to know the sisters and being an active pledge in the house. If at the end of the week if I still feel like I don't belong or more confused (which I think at this point is impossible) then I will think about depledging some more. I am going to pledge until initiation knowing that if I depledge I most likely will never have another opportunity to be greek. At this point I am a little disheartened because of the tiers at USC and the lack of social opportunities with certain fraternities that result from being in the house I'm in, but honestly I have come to terms with the fact that the social opportunities I will expierience will be far more that if I were a GDI and always wishing I were greek. Thank you everyone, hopefully the weeks ahead will be easier and I will find my niche at XYZ. It's just hard for me to stop thinking what if...

I am glad to see you are going to hang in there and try. Remember, you can be happy wherever you make your mind up to be happy. The group you are in obviously saw something great about you or they would not have extended a bid to you. If you let them, the what ifs will drive you crazy - and not just about sororities.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. You alone are in charge of your attitude that will make or break everything you do.

Best wishes!!

[AOII_LB93]

Fighton,
Good idea...and realistically...you can try and make a difference little by little with the fraternity thing if it's really that important to you...be a good rep for your own chapter and get to know people from all organizations. BTW in the long run, your sisters will be far more important to you in college and after than a fraternity guy.

[33girl]

If a guy won't go out with you because of the sorority you're in, he's an asshole and not worth your time.

If you're not happy with the fraternities your sorority is mixing with, become the NM representative to the social committee or Panhel and try to do something about it. When I joined my sorority we mixed with 2 fraternities almost exclusively. No one in my class or the class after liked this...so we made an effort to change it. By the time I graduated, we had mixed with all the fraternities on campus, and changed some minds, too.

But Dani is right...if your main reason for wanting to depledge is you don't like the fraternities you're mixing with...that's kinda lame.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by kddani
What, so you want to depledge because you're not mixing with certain fraternities? Did you join a sorority just to meet guys? What about everything else?

I think you're being a little hard on her. This IS a legitimate concern for a lot of people. I know a girl who joined "the fat house" at her campus -- this girl who was never anything close to fat (and to be honest, neither were any of her sisters that I'd ever seen) -- and ended up relapsing into the eating disorder she'd had in high school in part because she was in a Greek system where guys would call her entire sorority fat without even seeing her.

USC has been described to me as a campus where even the girls in the "bottom-tier" sororities are beautiful, but where campus reputation means a lot. I can't imagine it's easy to be in a sorority where you and your sisters are still prettier than many of the girls in the "hot" sororities on other campuses, yet there are fraternities that won't mix with you because you're "ugly." It's easy enough, as an alum, to say this doesn't matter -- but when you're a collegiate and you're thrown into the middle of it, it can be hard.