How Important Is Education In Love

[KSigkid]

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
Last I checked "stupid" and "uneducated" were not synonyms.

I didn't see where she said they were in her post.

Also, I don't necessarily buy the "get back to me when you're 30" argument, since those are generally the same people who are telling me I made a mistake getting married at 24. Some people figure out what they want in their early 20's, and some never do. Saying that you figure it out at a certain age seems mighty arbitrary to me.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by KSigkid
I didn't see where she said they were in her post.

The subject of the thread is if education is important in a relationship. Her answer was that "you can't fix stupid".

No, she did not come right out and say stupid=uneducated, but I think it is thoroughly implied.

[33girl]

Originally posted by KSigkid
I didn't see where she said they were in her post.

Also, I don't necessarily buy the "get back to me when you're 30" argument, since those are generally the same people who are telling me I made a mistake getting married at 24. Some people figure out what they want in their early 20's, and some never do. Saying that you figure it out at a certain age seems mighty arbitrary to me.

I was directing that to the people who say they would HAVE to marry someone who has blahblahblah or they would NEVER marry someone who doesn't soandso. I admit I was incorrect in assuming that people who say that are usually under a certain age - you can say things like that when you are 50 too. It's just that it's usually people who are younger who say it, simply because they haven't been around as long and seen other people who say it get bitten in the butt.

Let me just change it to: saying NEVER or ALWAYS (not just in this scenario, in life in general) should come with a knife and fork because you will probably end up eating your words.

[AGDee]

I thought I had answered this way back when it was first posted, but apparently I didn't. Here are my thoughts (and I'm a 40 something).

I want him to be stable in his career (not just working a job, but doing something he enjoys that is relatively secure and a challenge to him in some way).

I want him to know where he wants to be in 10/20/30 years and actively working to be there.

I want him to be able to discuss things (world events, politics, etc) in an intelligent way because otherwise I'd get bored with him.

I want him to use proper grammar (no "I seen..." type habits) because those kinds of things drive me up the wall.

Does it take a college education to do the things above? Nope. Does it take intelligence and a good work ethic? Yes.

[squirrely girl]

yeah for the above!

[Rudey]

Originally posted by AGDee
I thought I had answered this way back when it was first posted, but apparently I didn't. Here are my thoughts (and I'm a 40 something).

I want him to be stable in his career (not just working a job, but doing something he enjoys that is relatively secure and a challenge to him in some way).

I want him to know where he wants to be in 10/20/30 years and actively working to be there.

I want him to be able to discuss things (world events, politics, etc) in an intelligent way because otherwise I'd get bored with him.

I want him to use proper grammar (no "I seen..." type habits) because those kinds of things drive me up the wall.

Does it take a college education to do the things above? Nope. Does it take intelligence and a good work ethic? Yes.

I want her to look pretty.

-Rudey
--You have way too many demands on guys.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by 33girl
Education level doesn't matter at all. Intelligence does. And you really don't have to be intelligent these days to get a degree...not that that is anything new...for a very long time there have been college students who skated by on either their athletic ability or their family's money.

And better to live with a happy bartender than with a lawyer who hates his job or a doctor who's never at home. This is just such a nonissue to me, but that's probably because I come from a background where people didn't turn up their noses if you had a job where you actually got your hands dirty.

If YOU have a problem with saying "my boyfriend/husband is a bartender" then do him a favor and break up with him, because you'll never be happy and you'll make him miserable as well.

Right on.

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by AGDee

I want him to know where he wants to be in 10/20/30 years and actively working to be there.

I sure hope guys aren't expecting this from women. I'm going to school and I'm saving up some money...but I don't have much idea where I'm going.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by Dionysus


I sure hope guys aren't expecting this from women. I'm going to school and I'm saving up some money...but I don't have much idea where I'm going.

I don't expect that from anyone. I would die of boredom with somebody who planned that far in advance.

[Marie]

Originally posted by adpiucf
bump because somehow I'm in this situation and I'm too old for this!

Ok here's my two cents. I think that you need to look at the situation and the future realistically, and then determine if this is something that you are comfortable with.

Education does not guarantee success in work or relationships by any stretch of the imagination. However, you have to be honest enough with yourself to admit that there may be some hardships or differences of opinion that may arise in the future due to your circumstances. In this day and age it can be difficult to find work w/o a degree. You may at some point have financial troubles. You may disagree in the future on issues like your children's education. Now I'm not saying that these issues never arise in relationships where both people have degrees, nor am I saying that these issues will be deal breakers for you. I'm just saying that if you choose to go forward, then you need to recognize them and be prepared to confront them if they do present themselves.

I like the questions that some of the guys posted a while back for one to ask themselves regarding the person's goals and life plan. While these are good for everyone to ask, they may be even more critical for you b/c merely graduating from college does show some intention and preparation for the future. Again, I'm not saying that's a guarantee of anything, but right now you don't have any information/evidence to rely on w/o asking these pertinent questions. Additionally, while life planning is necessary for all, it may be especially necessary for someone who doesn't have a degree and is starting out 'disadvantaged' in the work place.

Again, there are lots of wonderful qualities (as have already been listed) that can contribute to a person's success besides a degreee. However, you do at least need to consider the pitfalls so that you won't be in for a surprise further down the line.

Hope that this helps & best of luck to you two.

[EPTriSigma]

I would also have to disagree with the over 30 arguement (what is the divorce rate?). In my case I am just trying to not make the mistakes of my parents. I have seen way too many marriages fail. I don't want that.

From what I have seen, in instances where one partner has gone through more schooling and makes more money they feel the need to control or belittle their partner. While they may not intentionally do it, it still happens. When a partner feels they are better or more worthy and the other person should "count their blessings" they relationship is bound to fail.

[EPTriSigma]

Just a note about bachelors degrees, they are not all they are cracked up to be. More people are going to college than ever before. More people with s college education means that qualifications for jobs go up. Many jobs that once only required a two year degree now require a four year degree.

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by 33girl
Oh, and for everyone who is 30 or under answering this question, I just want to say, get back to me in a few years.

Things that seem terribly important at 22 often are things that don't make a bit of difference 10 years later.

Get back to me when you're 1,000,000 - things that seem important at 32 don't make a lick of difference after you've lived through multiple climate changes.

-RC
--So there!

[AGDee]

Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't expect that from anyone. I would die of boredom with somebody who planned that far in advance.

Just about everybody I know (at my age) has a plan that goes that far in advance... How to get the kids through college, when they hope to be able to retire, some idea of what they want to do after they retire. For me, that's the 10 years, 20 years and 30 years deal. In 10 years, the kids will both be in college and I'll sell my house and buy a condo and have no yard work or shovelling snow anymore. In 20 years, I will be getting close to retirement and in 30 years, I plan to be fully retired and living in a cool retirement community where they have social activities, transportation, etc (if I'm even still alive then).

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by AGDee
Just about everybody I know (at my age) has a plan that goes that far in advance... How to get the kids through college, when they hope to be able to retire, some idea of what they want to do after they retire. For me, that's the 10 years, 20 years and 30 years deal. In 10 years, the kids will both be in college and I'll sell my house and buy a condo and have no yard work or shovelling snow anymore. In 20 years, I will be getting close to retirement and in 30 years, I plan to be fully retired and living in a cool retirement community where they have social activities, transportation, etc (if I'm even still alive then).

I don't think you and I are that far apart, age-wise. Having kids is probably the biggest factor in planning for the future, and because I don't have them it won't be an issue for me. Honestly, I've never thought about what I'll be doing in 30 years if I'm still alive -- but traveling around the country in an Airstream sounds kind of kickass.

Like anything, these kinds of things really vary from person to person. I'm a wacky free spirt who doesn't plan for the future or care whether someone I'm with has 10 degrees or none. Other people want stability and plans or a partner with an advanced degree. The most important thing is for each person to figure out what's important to her and find somebody who is reasonably compatible with that.