In this thread, Jesus H. Christ answers our questions.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Jesus, I go to a university run by your fine order, and I really think our College Republicans chapter could use a little smoting. Could you arrange this?

In your service,
GeekyPenguin

I've got better things to do than to unleash my wrath on a 55 year old person trapped in the body of a 19 year old.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Jesus, smote this atheist who corrects my grammar!

I've got other plans for her, but thanks for the heads up.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I AM SMITTEN WITH CHRIST'S LOVE!

Right back atcha!

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
Dear Jesus,

1. Why do women have cramps? Why can't you give men an equivalent to cramps so they'll know what the pain is all about?

2. Why did you allow Shakespeare In Love to win the Oscar for Best Picture?

1. That's the way women are designed. The alternative would have involved olive oil, a coconut, and an African Swallow. You're better off the way that things are.

2. They wouldn't let me vote. For the most part, Hollywood is on my isht list.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by RedRoseSAI
Dear Jesus,

While I appreciate your dad's daily artwork in the form of nature in all it's beauty, do you think you can talk to him about using a pallate other than white and grey in the Chicagoland area? Seriously, it's getting depressing around here. Oh yeah, turning up the heat a WHOLE LOT would be great, too. Thanks.

Why would anyone want to change a thing about Chicago? Its like a beautiful rainbow of grey.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
I've got a nasty cold. How can I quickly get rid of it?

Chicken soup, and lots of sleep.

Oh yeah, call your mom. She's worried about you.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by aggieAXO
Dear Jesus,


What does the H. stand for?

Your biggest fan,

Karen

That's on a need to know basis. Until you pass through the Pearly Gates, you don't need to know.

Luv ya!

JHC

[Imperial1]

Originally posted by Jesus H. Christ
That's on a need to know basis. Until you pass through the Pearly Gates, you don't need to know.

Luv ya!

JHC

I think the H stands for "Hoax."

Imperial1

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Dear Jesus,

where did I put my car keys?

You will find them the last place that you look.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by Aduladi
First I want to say Jesus H. Christ ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

My question: why is it STILL snowing in Vermont?

Because its Vermont.

Originally posted by Aduladi
Dear Jesus,
I thought you were answering questions. Why haven't mine been answered?

You still rock.

I heart Jesus!

Been busy as a beaver.

Originally posted by Aduladi
Oh and P.S. Thanks for the sunshine in Vermont for the past few days. It has really lifted my spirits!!

I thought that you would like it.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by TxAPhi
Again, he is speaking through others... while he is on Spring Break

signature creation
here's a few good threads that explain how -

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/s...signature+color
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/s...signature+color
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/s...signature+color

Normally I speak through others, but this one is easy. (and I'm always on Spring Break)

Originally posted by Aduladi
Dear Jesus,

I have another question: I have been a member of GC since the summer of 2004 and I still haven't figured out how to put my letters into my signature in color. Can you tell me how to do that?

You faithful servant

[colour=silver]Omicron[/color] [colour=gold]Lambda[/color] [colour=blue]Pi[/color]

Spell "colour" without the "u" and you'll get Omicron Lambda Pi

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by Imperial1
So Christ, now that you claim to have died for my sins, what do you think you got out of it? And are you god? If so, what does "god the father" think about your blasphemous claims?

Imperial1

That's Mr. Christ to you missy. If you make it through the Pearly Gates (and with that attitude, I wouldn't bank on it) you'll find out all that you want to know and more.

[Jesus H. Christ]

Originally posted by Lil' Hannah
JC, you have any big plans this weekend?

Nothing to big. I'm going over to Bob's (he used to be a Dalai Lama) for a BBQ.

[Imperial1]

Originally posted by Jesus H. Christ
That's Mr. Christ to you missy. If you make it through the Pearly Gates (and with that attitude, I wouldn't bank on it) you'll find out all that you want to know and more.

Well you can call me Imp. And sir my only judge is Allah and it is only he who will decide which entrance I'll take in the afterlife. Don't call it attitude, call it truth. Sorry Isa if I hurt your feelings.

Imperial1

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by Jesus H. Christ
Nothing to big. I'm going over to Bob's (he used to be a Dalai Lama) for a BBQ.

You're not doing anything for Easter? That's your holiday!

Also, why is my boss such an arrogant, self-righteous jerk?