Don't you hate it when...

[Sexy Mocha]

And the award goes to (drum roll please...) TotalElegance for #8!! Girl, that has got to be the funniest sh*t I've heard in my life!
O.k, my turn again...
Don't you hate it when...
You go to someone's house and like a whole army of roaches are just walking around chillin' and they act like they don't see them. I mean, the roaches are crawling everywhere (an epidemic, no less) and everyone just acts naturally.

When you're having the BOMB dream and you have to "release" (as someone else so eloquently put it)...you get up so fast you get a head rush, run to the bathroom, release, and try to get back to sleep to "catch" the rest of the dream but you can never get that muthaf***er back.

[KittyKat]

I must tell you that the last one was on the nose. My mama is ALWAYS calling me at some ungodly hour, "just to ask one little thing".

Originally posted by Diva6:
Okay, here are mine:

1. when you are on hold with a company FOREVER!

2. when you give a whack guy the wrong phone number (on purpose), he goes around the corner to dial it on his cell phone, and has the nerve to come back and ask for the right one!

3. you get stuck doing everyone else's job at work b/c they are incompetant but apparently government workers NEVER get fired (yes, i am looking to transfer )

4. you find the perfect dress but it only comes in a size 6

5. your man forgets your b-day (he's not my man anymore!)

6. your disk crashes as you make the final edits to your senior thesis

7. all 3 urban stations are playing the same song that you hate

8. someone says "hey, you don't like a Delta, i thought you were an ***"

9. your mother calls five minutes before your alarm goes off and you only had four hours of sleep

whew!! i feel better now!

[Monique]

I hate it when people touch me to get my attention..i hate it when i say something i hate and people still do it to me.!! that burns me up...

[DiVa X-ta-C]

ooooh, oooh, oooh, me, me, me. (by the way hello everyone, I'm new to the forum) all of these don't you hate it whens' had me rolling, they are funnier than the you know you ghetto if's! lol Total elegance and Onesavvydiva, you guys are off the chain.
Well here's my little list, it's hard to think of any because it's like everybody is so on point.

Don't you hate it when:

-You're driving down a one lane street, and the car in front of you turns on their signal light...... but turns the other way

-You ask your company if they'd like something to eat, and they say, "No girl, you know I don't eat that, but as soon as you sit down to eat, they want to taste what's on your plate, I mean DANG!!! Didn't I just ask you if you'd like some and anyway, I thought you didn't like it.

-You are watching one of your favorite shows and as soon as it gets to the good part (i.e, finding out who killed somebody or who someone's "baby daddy" is), they interrupt your program to bring you a "special news bulletin," I mean sheeesh, they'd better be telling me world war III is breaking out.

-You buy VIP tickets to one of your favorite groups show and you find out that the ticket you bought only got you BACK STAGE, not a chance to take pictures or talk to them, they have another VIP that you have to pay for with BOOTY (e.g.112 (sorry everybody this is personal :mad

-You go to a restaurant and you ask them not to put something on your sandwhich and they do it ANYWAY, and then when you send it back, they want to just pick it off and send it back up to you..... and then get mad because you want a NEW sandwich, I mean Dayum you nasty bastard!!! I thought it was my way right away!

-Parents don't show back out on their kids in public when their kids show out on them in public

-When kids are 6 years old, 5'9 with muscles but, their parents CONTINUE to put them in strollers and their big A#@ feet scrape the ground and arms hang out of the side.

-(sorry this is kind of gross)When kids have green, yellow or any other fluorescent colored snot running down their face, and they decide to lick it. (And what's worst is it usually happens when you're eating)

-When your parent(s) do or say something embarrassing when you bring home a "NEW" friend.

-You're at a club, and it's jam packed and a brother with bad breath gets all up in your face trying to talk to you I mean his feet are almost on top of your feet, then you back up and he backs up, you back up and then he backs up. And you're like STOP IT!!! I'm backing up to get away from your dragon breath, I'm not trying to tango!!

-A guy tries to talk to you and you tell him you have a man and he says "So, whatchyo man gotta do wit' me?"

-You're walking down the street (not for fun lol)and you're tired as heck, breathing heavy and everything, the next day, you see one of your peeps and they say, "I saw you walking yesterday when I was on my way to the store (or usually the same place you were going)." Well why didn't you pick me up you simple fool.

-Someone calls and you tell them you're on your way out the door, and as soon as you get by the door they call you right back to see if you were lying and just trying to avoid them exp. "I thought you were on your way out?" You "I was but your ignorant behind decided to call back and play games on the phone."

-You go to the salon and they are so slow and ghetto, you have to buy and put in your OWN relaxer at THEIR shop, and then they turn around and use YOUR relaxer that YOU bought on someone elses head.

[Nubian]

Don't you hate it when..

You are watching a movie with someone much older/younger than you are and a raunchy sex scene comes on. ("Yes, mommy, I will cover my eyes even though I'm 20.")

Your boss is explaining this really important project you must complete, but all you can focus on is the "ahem" leftovers in his nose.

You get extremely cute just for the heck of it one day and nobody sees you.

People claim that you talk "white" because you speak proper English.



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The most virtuous of all men is he that contents himself with being virtuous without seeking to appear so...

[carebear]

C&C1913...girl thats messed up

Don't you hate it when:

You eat a Hershey's kiss with almonds and there is no almond inside!!

This just happened, that's why I posted it. LOL!!

[EnchantressDST]

OK, I know this thread is old but it deserves a revival. I was sitting here stressing over a project when I decided to take a break and read through some old posts I may have missed. These were HILARIOUS! Let's see if I can add some:

Don't you hate it when:
1. Your spouse lets out a "silent killer" and then wants to get romantic. UUUGGGHHH! You stink. Get AWAY from me! Go check yo' draws!

2. People not only have their cell phones ON in the theatre, but want to answer it when it rings, then hold a loud A$$ conversation. Like: "Hey girl. What's up with you. Oh, nothing. I'm just at the show with ManMan. Scary movie. Yeah girl, this isht is funny as hell..." (you're silently praying, Lord please let her battery die)

3. When waiterstaff KNOW their tip is going to be included on the bill so they give you triflin' service. Uhhmm, hello, can I have some water. I'm dying here.

4. When GDIs ask when your chapter is having recruitment. This is NOT the army, although we ARE all we can be!

Originally posted by DeltaDiva:

(3)When someones breathe is on FIRE and you offer them a piece of gum and they say no thank you

Giiiiirl, that is going on right now at my job. What about when it doesn't stop at breath, but includes the entire body? I don't know of any tactful way to offer someone some soap!

DeltaDiva,

Girl, numbers 1, 5, and 8......... I am really feeling you on those!!!!

[DarlingNikki]

Ooooooh I just had to post a reply here this is so funny.
dont you just hate:

1. When a guy you didn't call the first time attempts to give you his number again!!!

2. When idiots just walk in front of your car, like they can't get hit. Um I never saw a car in the hospital!!!

3. When a guy calls you like five times and hangs up in the answering machine. Then lies and said he never called you but you have caller id and know he is lying.

4. When you go to McDonalds and the idiot in front of yoy stares at the menu for what seems like days and orders a #2. As if they didn't know they only had 3 dollars.

5. when you go to the restaurant and the bill comes and people starts whipping out calulators to tally their bill. Then they forget the tax and tip portion.

6. When people take the elevator to the 2nd floor. I'm like walk you lazy bum!

7. When on the NYC subway total idiots attempt to hae intelligent conversations minus the intelligence and are loud because they think they sound smart.

there are more and Ill be back to post them

[Salience]

1. Someone you think is your friends smiles at you one minute, then writes you nasty e-mail the next?

2. You clean the apartment up, and visitors track in dirt the same day you finished cleaning?

3. You're vibing with a guy, and everything is going great, then he just drops off the face of the earth?

4. You run out of gas two miles past the last gas station? (faulty gas gauge-long story)

5. People call you haters because you express a simple difference of opinion?

6. Men call you Boo?

7. No one RSVPs to your catered functions, then just show up and complain about the lack of hot hors d'oeuvres?

8. Your cell phone goes out of range at a crucial point in the conversation?

9. You work extremely hard on a paper/assignment, only to be told that your vision did not coincide with that of the instructor's?

10. Your checking account is gasping for relief ten days before your ONE payday a month????

I think I'm good for another week, thanks!

LOL

Sal

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@~~^~~~~
The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration.
-- Wanda Landowska

[DeltaDiva]

You'll are straight trippin cause I am sitting here at work crying!!! Okay here is mine.
(1) Don't you hate it when a white person comes up to you and ask you how you get your hair like that
(2) When a white person ask you if you know somebody that is black just because your black
(3) When a bill collector calls you and tell you they haven't received your payment yet and you want to tell them take a number
(3)When someones breathe is on FIRE and you offer them a piece of gum and they say no thank you
(4) When a sista wears sandles and her ankles are ashy
(5) When a sista tries to wear a french manicure on her toenails and the toenails are longer than the fingernails
(6) When a classmate of yours don't study and complain about the professor being to hard
(7) When a person has food stamps and then pull out a credit card to pay for the non-food items
(8) When women refer to the father of their children as "my babies daddy"
(9) When some big, grown ass person at work did the #2 and forgot to flush the toilet!!
(10) When someone, who has a returned check, is holding up the line arguing with the manager that their check is "good" now

[mccoyred]

MORE......Don't you hate it when...

...people don't take advantage of SPELL CHECK.

...you are walking down the street, a guy tries to talk to you and calls you baby (like it is your name) but when you ignore him he calls you a b%$@h (like it is your name) and hollers that you wasn't that fine anyway.

...people pull out in front of you and slam on the brakes or drive 5mph.

...people at work get PO'd when you don't hold the elevator for them; as if the other 7 (!) are out of order.

...cafeteria workers get stingy with portions like it is coming out of their pocket.

...people cross the street on a red light and turn their backs to oncoming traffic daring the cars to hit them.

...people trying to cross the streer push their baby carriage in the street while they remain on the sidewalk.

...habitual liars can't keep the lies straight.

...MORE TO COME.



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mccoyred

Dynamic
Salient
Temperate

[Monique]

Don't u justtt HATEEEEEEEEE IT when u speak to someone u don't like bye mistake...