Marrying Down?

[BlueReign]

Originally posted by LB1914


I hate to sound uppity, but I personally cannot see myself marrying someone who does not have at least a BA or BS. I am currently working on an MBA and I plan to obtain a JD in the future. My future wife does not need to have a Master's, but she has to at least have a Bachelor's. I am aware that there are plenty of people out there that are doing well financially without a college education. However, I need someone that I can relate to.

On the flipside of that, my mother got remarried last year. Her husband(my stepfather)only has a high school diploma. I think it is really up to the individual in the end. Additionally, in my parents' generation there were plenty of people that were able to have careers without having to attend college or any other additional schooling. These are different times and we have different lifestyles these days.

Yes, you do sound uppity.

I don't think the level of education a person has matters. What matters to me is the level of intelligence. I've known some highly intelligent people who never finished high school. (my father)

If you can relate to someone, they don't knock you for wanting to pursue advanced degrees and they can hold their own when in the company of your colleagues at different functions, etc. then that is what counts!! I have dated all types of men and the one thing I couldn't stand is someone with no intelligence and pissed off at me because I'm educated. When I graduated from college the boyfriend I had then actually told me he was jealous at my graduation!!

I am in love with a janitor and he is the best boyfriend that I have ever had. He owns his own business, has a nice house in a very nice neighborhood, owns 2 cars and 2 trucks and has a nice bank account. I am pursuing a Masters and I can see myself with a doctorate someday. It doesn't matter to me that he has no degree because we converse intelligently and we can relate!!

[ZETA_ACE2003]

BlueReign, it must be nice!

I used to say it didn't matter but unfortunately I ran into many uneducated men that were either jealous of my accomplishments or that I couldn't have an intelligent discussion with. Take that a step further guys that I wouldn't be comfortable taking to the functions I attend for fear of them doing or saying something inappropriate.

If it were an option where I live, I would consider but since there we lack the type of man you have found, I will continue to seek someone on the same level or above.

To each his own!

[reddawn18]

Originally posted by LB1914
I've done the long distance thing before,so I have been down that road. I am not too sure if I want to go that route again.

Hey, you know unless you try,

[LB1914]

Originally posted by BlueReign
Yes, you do sound uppity.

I don't think the level of education a person has matters. What matters to me is the level of intelligence. I've known some highly intelligent people who never finished high school. (my father)

If you can relate to someone, they don't knock you for wanting to pursue advanced degrees and they can hold their own when in the company of your colleagues at different functions, etc. then that is what counts!! I have dated all types of men and the one thing I couldn't stand is someone with no intelligence and pissed off at me because I'm educated. When I graduated from college the boyfriend I had then actually told me he was jealous at my graduation!!

I am in love with a janitor and he is the best boyfriend that I have ever had. He owns his own business, has a nice house in a very nice neighborhood, owns 2 cars and 2 trucks and has a nice bank account. I am pursuing a Masters and I can see myself with a doctorate someday. It doesn't matter to me that he has no degree because we converse intelligently and we can relate!!

Well both of my parents went to college and I am currently in graduate school, so pardon me for having a different set of standards.

There are too many women out there that meet my standards for me to settle for less. If that makes me sound uppity, then oh well. No one besides Jesus has to be pleased with who I choose to date, mate, or marry.

[reddawn18]

Originally posted by LB1914
Well both of my parents went to college and I am currently in graduate school, so pardon me for having a different set of standards.

There are too many women out there that meet my standards for me to settle for less. If that makes me sound uppity, then oh well. No one besides Jesus has to be pleased with who I choose to date, mate, or marry.

Okay, you guys, play nice!

[LB1914]

Originally posted by reddawn18
Hey, you know unless you try,

I have tried a couple of times before. I am not ruling it out entirely, but I have found that most that I run into that aren't in ATL are not as willing to take trips here as I would be to visit them. You can't have a one-sided relationship, especially when distance is involved.

[reddawn18]

Originally posted by LB1914
I have tried a couple of times before. I am not ruling it out entirely, but I have found that most that I run into that aren't in ATL are not as willing to take trips here as I would be to visit them. You can't have a one-sided relationship, especially when distance is involved.

I agree with that one. But life is full of possibilities.

[Honeykiss1974]

Reddawn18 and LB1914 - yall handle that in chatroom!

j/k

[reddawn18]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
Reddawn18 and LB1914 - yall handle that in chatroom!

j/k

Girl, you know I am just being friendly I had to learn the hard way, life is full of possibilities and its too short not to take them.

[Clockwork08]

I know this sounds bad or snobby on my part, but I can't see myself with someone who didn't graduate college. This probablyis due to mainly two things one is my upbringing (both my parents have MBAs) and two usually what drives people to college and succeed when they are there is ambition and intellectual curiousity and I am very attracted to and look for those attributes. And it doesn't necessarily have to have a big paying job (considering I want to pursue public-intrest law when I graduate that would be a double standard). But I don't see myself relating well with some one with a high school or below education.

[ms_gwyn]

Originally posted by reddawn18
I can say this much, my aunt got remarried a couple of years ago. She has always told me she would never marry a man with at least a college education. She has her masters.

And who she married? A man who only has a third grade education and he provides for her! bought her a house and everything. So it has to do with the person. If he or she is sound. But I can tell you from my personal experience it never turned out so good. Its even harder when I try to better myself and the man can not get with the program. First thing out of his mouth is, "What you think you are white?" or "If I wanted a white girl, I would have gotten with one."

I guess my question is, when did black equate to ghetto and no education?

Maybe I got off the subject but it was burning inside of me.

This is what I want to know also.

This bugs me because all of my life people have been saying that I want to be white , because of my upbrining and the way that I speak.

I was raised comfortably, but not spoiled. My Dad has a blue collar job and make great $$ and very intelligent, my mother got her degree a few years back but is/was one of the senior managers in her department for her company worked her way up the ladder and is remarried to a man who has a college degree and in managerment for the county.

Me...I don't have a degree yet....(residency credits only) but at this point in my life and what I want to do with it, I don't think I need one. I love school and will perhaps go back and finish it one day. So I guess I would be in the middle?

As long as the person I'm dating doesn't have a problem with my background, tastes and education level, I don't see a problem.

If we can have intelligent, insightful conversations; have the same or mutual goals, likes and dislikes in life. Have no problems with social obligations on either side and feel comfortable in those situations. We can take care of each other. Sign him up right away.

[Dionysus]

Ok, where do we cross the line between wanting to date someone with a similar upbringing and goals and looking down on someone who doesn't? That line is very thin.

[reddawn18]

Originally posted by Dionysus
Ok, where do we cross the line between wanting to date someone with a similar upbringing and goals and looking down on someone who doesn't? That line is very thin.

You are right the thin is very thin. But I think it has to do with what would you like to have in your life and what you can work with.

Personally, I think has to do with how he carries himself. What kind of conversation and--gasp!--thoughts plus aspirations he has. Its a shame that there are very few ppl, in general, like that. Just a thought...

[Shortfuse]

The person who is below you might not be jealous of your accomplishments but bored with hearing you TALK ABOUT YOURSELF 24/7. Nobody wants to be beat upside the head with what you did and how many degrees you "achieved".

Some seem content with spending the entire evening trying to impress their date with Phi Beta Kappa instead of impressing them with Personality Phi Maturity.

Maybe it's me but if you're dating somebody who's doesn't have what you have. Try focusing on what brought you to that point in the first place. It's something that NO DEGREE or AMOUNT of MONEY can give a person.

Oh before I roll out, if that person is not someone that you'll date or want to date, don't roll into the long list of TIRED and BORING excuses on why. Just don't date them. Plain and simple.

[Shortfuse]

Oh yeah,

What ever happened to love?