wedding costs? :(

[AGDee]

Originally posted by aephi alum
So true. Then, once you're married, you are pressured to have a baby. (A pressure I'm facing now, from everyone - my favorite, from my in-laws, was "Wouldn't it be nice if Grandma could be a great-grandma before she DIES?" )

My first mother-in-law was terrible about pressuring us to have a baby! They lived a distance away so when we went to see them, we'd stay at their house. After we were married for a few months, we went to stay there and they insisted that we sleep in *their* bed and my mother-in-law said "I put the leopard skin sheets on it too" with a big wink! I almost died of embarassment!!!

Dee

[AOII_LB93]

Originally posted by AGDee
My first mother-in-law was terrible about pressuring us to have a baby! They lived a distance away so when we went to see them, we'd stay at their house. After we were married for a few months, we went to stay there and they insisted that we sleep in *their* bed and my mother-in-law said "I put the leopard skin sheets on it too" with a big wink! I almost died of embarassment!!!

Dee

Can I just say...HOW HORRIFYING! My BF and I though we have spoken of engagement before get pressure from his mom to get married and have kids...she keeps saying..."I want to be a grandma." To which my BFs most appropriate response is, "Well then my sister better get married and get cracking, because you aren't getting one from me any time soon."

[lionlove]

Kappatarzan,
Congratulations on your engagement! If you are getting married in MA, check out Konditor Meister bakery in Braintree for your cake. They were featured on the Today Show plans a wedding segment a few years ago as the winning cake. I got the cake for my graduation party there and it was delicious.

[juniorgrrl]

Originally posted by aephi alum
So true. Then, once you're married, you are pressured to have a baby. (A pressure I'm facing now, from everyone - my favorite, from my in-laws, was "Wouldn't it be nice if Grandma could be a great-grandma before she DIES?" )

LOL! That's great. I'm glad my FSIL is going to pop a kid sometime in November. Then i won't have the pressure to be the "fertile daughter-in-law" (She had a terrible time conceiving).

I'm spending 3 of the worst years of my life in law school, I plan to spend at least that long working and making money and try to make all the hard work worth it!

[greeklawgirl]

Originally posted by Jill1228
One of the best books I highly recommend is "Bridal Bargains"

It helped me out SO much!

I second this recommendation. I was lucky because I'm an only daughter and my parents pulled out all the stops for my wedding, but I estimate that the tips I used from Bridal Bargains saved us at least $10,000. That book is worth its weight in gold!

[KappaTarzan]

thank you lionlove and greeklawgirl!!!

everyone is so helpful, and it just makes me so happy. thanks again, everyone.

<3 <3 <3 <3

Congratulations, KappaTarzan!

I need to third or fourth or whatever the recommendation of "Bridal Bargains"..... great resource!

In total we're going to be spending about $8000 on our wedding (thanks Mom and Dad!!!). It's going to be kind of unusual, though....

We're getting married on a Friday night, outdoors, at a resort in Lake Geneva (big touristy place, but also where my family is from). Having the ceremony on Friday saved us $$$$ all over the place.

We both have huge families, so Friday night is pretty much going to be family only for about 130 people. We're only serving cocktails and hors d'oeurves. Rental for the hall plus the catering is about $3000. We're definitely going for formal and serene.

I decided not to skimp on the photographer like many have been saying. That is the ONLY thing that will last past the wedding day (except for your marriage ), so that's one place you don't want to cut. Photographers around here range from $500 - $2000... I found one for about $1000.

What we're doing different, though, is on Saturday (the day after the ceremony) we're having a big, casual, cook-out/party at a local park so that all of our friends can come celebrate with us as well. That way we could include everyone, but it wouldn't cost millions of dollars and leave us with 600 people at our wedding!!! (and we can all get wild and crazy without having to worry so much )

Whatever you do, remember it's YOUR (you and fiance's) day. EVERYONE is going to have an opinion on what you should do...make your decisions and don't let anyone talk you out of them!!!

[Eclipse]

Regarding out of control wedding cost...

I say to anyone getting married DO YOU. Do what is going to ultimately make you and the groom to be happy. Some people prefer the intimate wedding with only a few guests. Some people want a larger wedding because they have big families and want to share with everyone. Neither and both are "right". In my family the only time the entire extended family really gets together is for funerals. I wanted my wedding to be a time of joy for everyone. One of my aunts that attended died a few months after my wedding and I am so glad she could be there to enjoy it. We had a medium size wedding (about 150-160 people), sit down dinner, open bar, etc. in a nice place and I would not have done it any differently. My dad played the "I'll give you $5,000 NOT to have a wedding!" card, but I wasn't having it! I figured I was only getting married once, but I could get a house anytime. Now, neither we nor my parents went into debt (I'm so glad I have a frugal mommy!) and I certainly don't condone that, but I will also look back on my pictures and video with fond memories.

[greeklawgirl]

I also want to register another few thoughts. One person mentioned cutting out a videographer as a way to save money, but I want to give you the "flip-side" of that argument before you make a snap decision.

My husband is a video producer and director, so it was important to him to get a video of our big day. I completely agree with the person who said that they HATE it when it videographer sticks the microphone into guests' faces while they are eating their dinner. So we specifically instructed ours not to do that, but to only ask our immediate families to participate.

Because Sean knew exactly what to look for in a good videographer, we had two cameras shooting on digital 3-chip, got the master tape, all the raw footage, and 5 copies to give to our families as we saw fit. Because we told him EXACTLY what we wanted (and didn't want), we got the wedding video of our dreams. Everyone who has seen it says that its the best video they've ever seen...and I agree.

Because your wedding day is such a blur--trust me, you won't remember a lot of the things that happened, it goes by so fast--the wedding video gives you the opportunity to see a lot of things that you may have missed. Our future children and grandchildren will get to view it and feel like they were part of the day, and see relatives who may be long gone by the time they are old enough to watch it. I treasure my video *even more* that my pictures, if you can believe that.

We spent $995 to have our wedding taped, and I think that was a small price to pay for the quality we got in return. Knowing then what I know now, I would have paid two and three times more if the videographer asked for it.

Just my .02 and something else for you to think about.

(PS: If anyone is getting married in the Tucson area, PM me to get my videographer's contact info. You WON'T regret it! )

[alsparky]

Congratulations KappaTarzan!!!

I recently saw an article on TheBostonChannel.com about a bridal dress sale that will be happening in October to raise money for an organization that grants wishes to men and women with terminal breast cancer. They said there will be desiger dresses and dresses of all prices, styles and types.

Keep an ear out for more details on Channel 5.

Or if you are brave enough, you could gather 30 of your closest friends and join the maddness of the Bridal Dress sale at Filene's Basement!!

Good luck!!!
Allison

Originally posted by greeklawgirl
We spent $995 to have our wedding taped, and I think that was a small price to pay for the quality we got in return. Knowing then what I know now, I would have paid two and three times more if the videographer asked for it.

/tangent

Ooh, this reminded me of something. So, I went to a bridal show a few weeks ago... that was scary enough in itself! So I go up to this videographer's booth, and I'm talking to him, and I ask him what his price range is. He tells me $4000 - $6000!!!!!. I said in a mildly joking voice "Wow... sorry, I think you're out of my price range... that's almost my entire budget for my whole wedding!"

Do you want to know what he said to me?

This jerk-face looks me in the eye and says "Well, if you can't afford my videography within your budget, your wedding isn't going to be worth taping anyway."

I tell you, folks, if we hadn't been in public (and had a banquet table between us) I would have slapped the man.

[mu_agd]

i would have b!tch slapped him anyways! the nerve of some people... i'm sure you are going to have a beautiful wedding! and that price is absolutely absurd for a videographer!

[bethany1982]

Originally posted by Ginger
/tangent

Ooh, this reminded me of something. So, I went to a bridal show a few weeks ago... that was scary enough in itself! So I go up to this videographer's booth, and I'm talking to him, and I ask him what his price range is. He tells me $4000 - $6000!!!!!. I said in a mildly joking voice "Wow... sorry, I think you're out of my price range... that's almost my entire budget for my whole wedding!"

Do you want to know what he said to me?

This jerk-face looks me in the eye and says "Well, if you can't afford my videography within your budget, your wedding isn't going to be worth taping anyway."

I tell you, folks, if we hadn't been in public (and had a banquet table between us) I would have slapped the man.

What an A$S!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by bethany1982
What an A$S!

Yes he is. There are options for every budget. There are friends and family members who are amateur videographers who might volunteer their services. Also check out the local film school or cable access station for a future Scorsese who can tape your wedding.

One thing that I have seen is disposable cameras on every table. The guests have fun taking pictures of each other, and you can get good and funny snapshots.

[greeklawgirl]

Ginger, wow. That's completely rude and unprofessional behavior! That's why its so important that you like--I mean REALLY LIKE--your photographer and videographer. Those are the two people following you around all day, so you'd better "click" with those people.

$4,000-$6,000 is a ton of money for videography, but its not unheard of in large cities. Unfortunately, its what the market will bear. We got married in a smaller city during the off-season, so that had something to do with getting a good deal, too.

(Ooh,ooh, I just remembered something that might be helpful to you engaged folks. I planned my wedding along with a very good friend who was engaged at the same time I was. We went with the same photographer, videographer, florist, organist, and DJ, so a big negotiation tool for us was, "If you give us a *really good deal*, you can sign *both* of us on the dotted line right now." We saved beaucoup bucks that way!)