Black Man - Blond Chick - Page 4

stardusttwin · #46 07-09-2003, 02:51 PM

A brother that actually believes that BS needs more help than these boards could ever provide. (That goes for any sister that fits/buys into these idiotic stereotypes also).

enlightenment06 · #47 07-09-2003, 02:55 PM

can we get some love back on this thread?

The Original Ape · #48 07-09-2003, 03:01 PM

Inspite of the choice of words used in conveying the points, my Bruh's point is true. The "double standard" has flipped and multiplied outrageously. The sad part about it is that most of the ladies reading it will immediately feel attacked and defensive instead of looking at themselves, their friends, and at the sistas across this country to see if any of it applies at all. They know that all that glitters aint gold; and every sista out there DON'T deserve to be called "diva", or treated like a beautiful African princess.

sphinxpoet · #49 07-09-2003, 03:13 PM

I love my sisters to death there is no one more beautiful than them but we are not perfect and that is OK! OA every sister should be treated like a princess. DOes that mean we spend money till they we are broke? NO! But we treat them as we would want our mothers to be treated and our sisters to be treated.

12dn94dst · #50 07-09-2003, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by stardusttwin
A brother that actually believes that BS needs more help than these boards could ever provide. (That goes for any sister that fits/buys into these idiotic stereotypes also).

ditto

enlightenment06 · #51 07-09-2003, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sphinxpoet
I love my sisters to death there is no one more beautiful than them but we are not perfect and that is OK! OA every sister should be treated like a princess. DOes that mean we spend money till they we are broke? NO! But we treat them as we would want our mothers to be treated and our sisters to be treated.

I feel u on that one. Some of my bruhs refer to women as bi****s and h**s, and it REALLY irritates me.

Professor · #52 07-09-2003, 04:30 PM

Regardless, it is the mentality of some of our folk.

enlightenment06 · #53 07-09-2003, 04:58 PM

sphinxpoet, I tried to respond to your PM but your box is full

sphinxpoet · #54 07-09-2003, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by enlightenment06
sphinxpoet, I tried to respond to your PM but your box is full

Try again Bro!

1savvydiva · #55 07-10-2003, 04:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape
Inspite of the choice of words used in conveying the points, my Bruh's point is true. The "double standard" has flipped and multiplied outrageously. The sad part about it is that most of the ladies reading it will immediately feel attacked and defensive instead of looking at themselves, their friends, and at the sistas across this country to see if any of it applies at all. They know that all that glitters aint gold; and every sista out there DON'T deserve to be called "diva", or treated like a beautiful African princess.

I agree with you to an extent. Not everyone woman out there has her stuff together. BUT, just because she doesn't carry herself as a beautiful African princess, doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to be treated as such. We all have to be held accountable for OUR OWN actions, and who says that you (not you personally, just making a statement) should be the one to treat her a certain way because she was 'asking for it'? I'm not saying that if the sista that you see is a hoodrat/scallywag/golddigger/loose-lucy, that you should go out of your way to be the gracious gentleman at her disposal...don't be stupid, just don't associate with her...period.

The Original Ape · #56 07-10-2003, 11:10 AM

FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THE MERIT OF MY COMMENT! Since I've been on Greekchat, I've noticed a tendency of people here to be politically correct inspite of what's trully in their hearts and minds. I respect the idea of caution, but I can't go against my grade. I trully feel that alot women scream for respect without employing the deserving behavior; and I'm smart enough to know that respect should be dished out irrespective of gender. As you mentioned in your statement, one shouldn't associate with persons whose behavior doesn't merit respect. I guess my point wasn't articulated accurately. Perhaps if it was, I would've seen more people agreeing with it.

enlightenment06 · #57 07-10-2003, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape
FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THE MERIT OF MY COMMENT! Since I've been on Greekchat, I've noticed a tendency of people here to be politically correct inspite of what's trully in their hearts and minds. I respect the idea of caution, but I can't go against my grade. I trully feel that alot women scream for respect without employing the deserving behavior; and I'm smart enough to know that respect should be dished out irrespective of gender. As you mentioned in your statement, one shouldn't associate with persons whose behavior doesn't merit respect. I guess my point wasn't articulated accurately. Perhaps if it was, I would've seen more people agreeing with it.

In the spirit of this post, I must renew an old mantra:

Keep It Real

stardusttwin · #58 07-10-2003, 05:48 PM

Its not a matter of being PC-the so called points made in this post are IMO childish and stupid. ....if the crowd of people you are surrounding yourself with encourage or actually believe these stereotypes then I still say something is wrong with you...I just had to break some of these down...IN MY REAL WORLD.

Quote:

Originally posted by sphinxpoet
Some info I got off th web!

You know, after reading some of these boards for a
number of weeks, I have come to an interesting
conclusion. SOME SINGLE and MARRIED BW are so 'puffed
up' about their educations, their earnings, and
themselves...its NO WONDER that they can't either FIND
a GOOD Black man, or KEEP a GOOD Black man.

SO NOW WE MUST HIDE UNDER A ROCK AND PRETEND WE HAVEN'T EARNED ANYTHING??

Brothers AROUND THE WORLD are rapidly getting tired of
the whining, pressuring, pestering, and
self-exhaltation tactics being done with a
Eurocentric, or a Motherland feel. (I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT COUNTRIES THIS WRITER ACTUALLY HAS GONE TO)

WE came to this country on the SAME SHIPS. NOW, SOME
sistahs act as if Black Men eagerly swam into slavery,
while Black women were 'kidnapped'?

Let's answer a few questions...Sistahs...

Check it.

*If a BM wants to better himself, he is 'Trying to be white'. If a BW wants to better herself she is 'held to be a role model'.

IN THE REAL WORLD: Don't worry about others-go ahead and better yourself...too many of us have crabs in a barrel mentality-if those around you don't support you move on (or up) to a new crowd. I know plenty of black people that I model myself after because frankly most of my family members want to act as if we grew up in the gutter with no opportunites. I have too many family members who want nothing for themselves that isn't handed to them...they can call me white if they want...but I'm NOT sitting around waiting for a check every month. We all came from the same grandfather who would roll in his grave if he saw how differently his grandchildren have turned out. He was an entrepreneur who did for himself, worked hard in this country and left a respectable inheritance for a man who was only formally educated through grade school. If he listened to others he would spent his life in Trinidad without any of the opportunites he had here in the US. Its all about who you chose to surround yourself with and who you use as role models. If you keep finding yourself surrounded by chickenheads look up - you must be in a chicken coup...change your surroundings!

*If a BM is confident...he is 'Arrogant'. If a BW is confident...she is 'Independent'.

IN THE REAL WORLD...again..crabs in a barrell mentality - people doing nothing hate on others that are doing something- don't let yourself be limited by the labels of others

*If a BM wants to pay for a date, he is 'trying to buy some'. If a BW accepts, she is 'a shrewd businesswoman'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-Don't think that a drink or a movie entitles you to get some. Treat and approach a woman with respect and you will get the same (if not, you are again dealing with the wrong type of woman).

*If a BM disagrees with a BW, he is 'Abusive'. If a BW disagrees with a BM, she is 'expressing her opinion'.

IN THE REAL WORLD - abuse is tolerated entirely too much in our community for it to be watered down to simple disagreement...REAL abuse should not be tolerated on ANY level (whether instigated from the man or the woman). If both parties are secure in themselves there should never be a problem agreeing to disagree on topics.

*If a BM is educated...he is a 'Nerd'. If a BW is educated...she is 'Vital'.

IN THE REAL WORLD - IF someone calls an educated man a nerd they are not worthy of your time. Move on!! (By the way I was called a nerd plenty of times growing up)

*If a BM does NOT want to get married...he is 'unable to make up his mind'. If a BW does NOT want to get married, she is 'exercising her options'.

IN THE REAL WORLD - this is bull. For the most part marriage has been delayed because of the acceptability of shacking up and having babies outside of marriage.

*If a BM says NO, he is 'Confused'. If a BW says NO, she is 'sure of herself'. (CAN'T ANSWER - SAYING NO TO WHAT??)

*If a BM dates a woman of another race, he is a 'Sellout'. If a BW dates a man of another race, she is 'courageous'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-If you are dating someone because you met and fell in love with said person - more power to you...I know some interracial couples that if you were blindfolded you wouldn't know the difference based on their interactions - there are others who after spending time with you can see one has issues with their own race...so if all one does is date people outside of their own race look in the mirror and ask what is really going on?

*If a BM does NOT ask a particular BW for a date, he is judged to be 'gay'. If a BW can't get a date, she is 'misunderstood'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-If you must resort to name calling because a one is not interested in you then look in the mirror..BM may be called gay by weak women but BW are called bi^ch on a daily basis by fools in the street...small vocabulary by small minds that are not worth my time or energy to argue back at...just keep walking and say a prayer for their ignorant behinds.

*If a BM goes to church and not the club, he is 'emotionally disturbed'. If a BW goes to a club and not to church, she is being 'entertained'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-anyone that belittle's a man for going to church needs prayer-if a woman is going to club on Saturday and not going to church she also needs prayer. Nothing wrong with going out from time to time but if going to the club means you cant' get up on Sunday..then don't go!

*If a BM is the father of an OOW child and wants to marry the mother, he is a 'desparate thug'. If a BW has OOW children and decides NOT to get married, she is 'a upright Queen'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-Again, anyone that belittles a man for WANTING to take care of his child and create a family needs to have their priorities checked. No women that has multiple OOW children is a Queen - she has issues that need to be addressed before she ruins another generation of children with wrong ideas about family and values.

*If a BM is unemployed, he is a 'Loser'. If a BW is unemployed she is 'Exploring'.

IN THE REAL WORLD- No one that is having trouble getting a job in this economy is a loser...but you won't find one sitting on your couch all day, being realistic (ie not likely to get a middle level $60,000/yr job with a HS diploma and no experience) or not being open to other options (that goes for a man or woman).

*If a BM lives at home with his parents, he is a 'Punk'. If a BW lives at home with her parents, she is 'Conserving Her Resources'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-You're only a punk if mama is washing your clothes, cleaning your room, cooking your food and you're not contributing to the household AND saving money. Riding in a tricked up hummer while living in your parents basement (or worse your old room in your parents apartment in the projects) is foolish.

*If a BM smacks a BW it is 'Domestic Violence'. If a BW smacks a BM is it 'Making Her Voice Heard'.

IN THE REAL WORLD - A BLACK MAN THAT HITS ME IS A DEAD MAN. A BLACK WOMAN THAT HITS A BLACK MAN DESERVES WHATEVER BEAT DOWN SHE GETS. I don't say that lightly. I've watched too many men and women act stupid. My feeling is don't step to a man if you don't want to get hit like one. We all have a brother/uncle/crazy cousin pookie that can handle business if you really need to go there. Seriously, domestic violence is also taken too lightly in our community. There are always signs. If you see there is a pattern of violence move on!!

*If a BM wears a blue collar and sweats on a job, he has 'No Ambition'. If a BW wears a blue collar and sweats on a job, she is 'A blossoming employee'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-only a fool doesn't realize how much money the plumber/ac repair man/ car repair man etc really makes. Again, if you hear a woman saying these things she is the wrong one, walk away.

*If a BM starts a business, he is a 'Shade Tree'. If a BW starts a business, she is an 'Entrepreneur'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-(I don't understand what 'Shade Tree' is suppossed to mean) - but Entrepreneurs of either sex face
ridiculous statements from people who don't understand why you can't go and get a steady job (until the business blows up and they all want to swear they were with you from the beginning).

*If a BM watches sports, he is a 'Brute'. If a BW watches Montel and Oprah, she is 'Informed'.

IN THE REAL WORLD - WHY IS ONE COMPARING SPORTS AND OPRAH?? A well rounded person can carry on a conversation about world events, current events etc. A woman that only watches Oprah and Montel is not doing that - nor is a man that only watched Sports Channel - why go to extremes? Hell I'm tired of men bothering me when I'm watching my football game (go State!)-or acting surprised that I can follow the game...

*If a BM is treating his woman right...he is 'Invisible'. If a BW is treating her man right...she is 'Suffering in Silence'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-A black man that is treating his woman right is a blessing to himself and his family - if the woman doesn't appreciate pray on it and grow together or cut your losses. Same for a woman.

*If a BM is a loving husband and parent, he is 'Obligated'. If a BW is a loving wife and parent, she is 'Illuminated'.

IN THE REAL WORLD - see last point.

*If a BM is spiritually centered, he is 'Trapped in the 'White Man's' Religion. If a BW is spiritually centered, she is 'Connected with the Ancestors'.

IN THE REAL WORLD-if a spiritually centered man is surrounding himself with people who say he is trapped in the white mans religion he needs to check where exactly he is pointing his center at and refocus. BW get this same bull - usually from men who only want to recite one verse (that the man is the head of the household)...and forget the other chapters/verses...

I'm tired of people relying on these stereotypes to further divide us. I know what standards I hold myself up to and I expect no less from a potential partner. I'm sick to death of being compared to chickenheads or people who engage in low class behavior everytime someone wants to make a point regarding problems between black men and women. I'm single, live with my mom and don't have any children. Yet although I'm told I'm a catch when I make any inkling about what I want then I'm told I'm asking for too much. Bump that...if you want to get with this real queen then you have to bring your A game. If not, stop faking the funk and go get with someone else. I practice what I preach. How many of you relying on these stereotypes can say the same??

1savvydiva · #59 07-11-2003, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original Ape
FOR ACKNOWLEDGING THE MERIT OF MY COMMENT! Since I've been on Greekchat, I've noticed a tendency of people here to be politically correct inspite of what's trully in their hearts and minds. I respect the idea of caution, but I can't go against my grade. I trully feel that alot women scream for respect without employing the deserving behavior; and I'm smart enough to know that respect should be dished out irrespective of gender. As you mentioned in your statement, one shouldn't associate with persons whose behavior doesn't merit respect. I guess my point wasn't articulated accurately. Perhaps if it was, I would've seen more people agreeing with it.

No Problem. Although I didn't agree with the entire post...I must admit, sometimes you have to 'take the meat, and throw away the bones'.

1savvydiva · #60 07-11-2003, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by stardusttwin

I'm tired of people relying on these stereotypes to further divide us. I know what standards I hold myself up to and I expect no less from a potential partner. I'm sick to death of being compared to chickenheads or people who engage in low class behavior everytime someone wants to make a point regarding problems between black men and women. I'm single, live with my mom and don't have any children. Yet although I'm told I'm a catch when I make any inkling about what I want then I'm told I'm asking for too much. Bump that...if you want to get with this real queen then you have to bring your A game. If not, stop faking the funk and go get with someone else. I practice what I preach. How many of you relying on these stereotypes can say the same??

I agree with most of what you are saying here as well. Sometimes it's frustrating because I feel like 'most' black men just don't get it. 'Most' of them (that I've encountered) don't understand that usually you will get everything you are asking of me and more, and that I would treat you like the KING that you are...if you just act right! I don't understand what's so hard sometimes. But I think the point that I guess I would make is that the original post of comparisons is too much of a generalization. I can understand some of the points, but I think you go into a dangerous zone when you try to make sweeping generalizations of a wide group of people (i.e. black women vs. black men). Just think about the uproar that would cause had it been some kind of list saying, "When a white person does....., a black person is called....." Folks wouldn't be to happy about that! But, like I said, I understand the point he was trying to make. I think that BOTH sexes feel underappreciated, but the general concensus is just to...keep trying or shut the hell up! Hell, I am bitter...but not so bitter that I can't recognize the good in the next brotha, I am bitter with/at "him". Okay, so he didn't deserve the royal treatment, screw HIM...let's get on with it, LOL!