Are you close to your Big/Lil?

[ZetaLuvBunny]

That's really creepy, OPAGal! I can't imagine that happening in our chapter, because every single one of us is so unique, even if certain groups of us have a lot in common. Well like many others have said, my big sis, too, preffed me cuz I met her on Philanthropy night & we cried together talking about it (b/c I had a best friend in Jr. High whose mother died of breast cancer & I didn't get to be there for her when I moved to TN).

Somehow I knew she'd be the one to pref me, and I really thought she was great & sweet. However, when it came time for us to write down our choices for bigs (we do mutual selection), we had to write down 5 of them, and I had her written down as my last choice --- simply because I had more in common with the other 4 girls.

One of the reasons she probably isn't close to me now (kinda was the first week or so after Big/Lil-- but who isn't then?) is because she had already had 2 littles before me, and that year she took twins (me & another girl). Then last Fall she took yet another girl when she said she didn't want anymore cuz she's graduating next December (I guess she was kinda pushed into it cuz we had a HUGE pledge class come in last year). Oh well...

I will have the chance to take a Lil this Spring if I want to, but we're not doing regular Spring rush (just "Crowning"), so we probably won't get a whole of girls. I'll only take one now if we really really click. I probably won't take one till Fall though, simply b/c we will have a lot more girls to choose from & there will be a greater chance of me being close to one of them.

I did get a "Strawberry Sis" last Fall b4 I found out I wouldn't get my loan in time to stay in school that semester. The Strawberry Sis thing is a part of a couple other weeks here (Crown Pal, Buddy Bunny...) where we get to know the new members b4 we all choose who we want for Bigs/Lils.

My Strawberry Sis's big sis is one of my best friends, but my Strawberry Sis has like dropped out for now b/c she wants to pursue an art career- she's only taking like 1 class this semester, some art class. Her big & I have tried to get her to hang out w/us the past couple of nights, but she keeps bailing out on us. I'm really emotional so it really upsets me when sisters I'm close to drop out or graduate. Oh well, that's life I guess.

[AXO Sweetheart]

My big was actually my leader for freshman orientation, and she knew my boyfriend from public speaking competitions, so we hit it off pretty fast. We were a "perfect match", we put each other down as our first choice. She spoiled me rotten during Big/Lil! We're becoming close, and I'm very excited. Since she's only a sophomore, she should be around for a long time.

Don't have a little yet, but you can bet I'll buy out Michael's when I do.

I absolutely LOVE my lil and still keep in contact with her. My class didnt get bigs, but I have two adopted ones that I adore.

[EGDeepher]

I'm in 2 greek orgs. D Phi E and APO. My relationships with my bigs/little are very different with both.

My Deepher big, Jess, is the best. The minute I met her I knew I wanted her to be my big. I was worried that she wasn't going to be my big because she already had a little and did not want to take another one. It turns out that when she met me she changed her mind! She really wanted me! I was so excited that she changed her mind. We have a great relationship, we talk about everything and do a lot of things together. We even went to New Orleans together over break! I don't have a little in D Phi E but I hope when I do we will have as good of a relationship as I have with my big.

My APO big is really cool too. We're very different and probably would have never talked if he wasn't my big but we get along well and the relationship worked out for the best. He always knows the right things to say to make me feel better.

My APO little however is a different story. She's 2 years older than me and will graduate this semester. We have nothing in common and rarely talk. I try to help her but I think she sees me as a kid because she's older.

[kiqualey12]

I just got my big this year and at first, I didn't know her at all and I wanted my pref to be my big, but she wanted me from the start. Then she was my first sponser and we totally clicked! For Halloween I was mini-big and we are totally the same in every way. She's so awesome and we have the best relationship! I would NEVER trade that for anything! I also have one of the biggest families in my chapter and I'm close to all of them, my big, my aunt, my second cousin (who's in my pledge class), my cousin and my grand-big. My grand-big is even coming up next weekend to hang out and she graduated last spring! I'm so excited! Anyways, the way it works for us is the we have a different sponser every week for 4 weeks and then we choose our big's. It works like bid-matching for us too. My big and I hang out everyday and do things together all the time (she lives in my dorm, so I'm pretty lucky). She's transferring across the state next fall and I'm sad, but I wouldn't have wanted anyone else. I also have 2 adopted big's and an adopted twin (she's in my pledge class) because we're so alike. I love my family and how close we are and I can't wait to have a little of my own. I'm a little worried about the expenses, but I know that anything is awesome and just as long as we have a close relationship, that's all that matters! Sorry I'm going on and on, but I just love the big/little idea!

[sailorpiphi]

sooo happy about this thread. I love my big/little stories. I was not a very active pledge when i pledged.... i had to miss most formal dinners cause of class, also i was not close to my guardian which is the person you get to be your pseudo big until you get your big. I was so worried when i made my big list (ours is a mutal selection also) and so when i went to write my ten girls, i just picked people i knew who they were. When big sis rev came, i was totally surprised because i HAD NO CLUE who my big was at all. Eventhough she was the rush chair i just never really met her or talked to her. So as we got to try to get to know each other, we really found out we had that mini me thing going on. Her and i were eerily the same person. In that sense we also were very busy people, so much so that we didnt hang out much, however we did get along very well and had lots of fun at pi phi stuff. she told me later that she wasnt planing on taking either of us as her littles until she met me and my twinnie, and then she was decided. our family is one of the smaller ones (but its growing pretty big) but we are also one of the closest families. I know the girls in my family we will all always be there for each other. aaanyway... so my big and i still keep in touch eventhough she graduated... im expecting to hear of her engagment to her bf any day now. she was the best big i think ever because she always was there for me in my adjustment to active life in my adjustment to living in, even when she graduated i still called her about stuff and she was as dedicated living in a different city as she was when she lived in the pi phi house.
As for my little she is the best. I wanted her in my house as soon as i knew her. She was the most down to earth genuine person i know. I invited her to formal rush... all the while knowing that if she went pi phi i would claim her. Which she did and i did. Again we are very much the same people. My little has not gotten the chance to meet my big, however, i think that will be a fun meeting. i just worry about not being the best big to her that my big was to me. I am not going to be in the us this semester and i feel bad that i wont be there to help her adjust to active life. however even being home over break we called each other a lot and shared almost every bit of drama in our lives. I think our friendship has grown so strong and it can only get better as we are gonna be roomies next year!
for those of you with bad big relationships or your biggie left, just find someone to adopt you! i know my twin did such an amazing job of being the new matriarch of our family after my big graduated that its hard to think we are the same age!

[DaffodilDarling]

I love my Big! I can't wait to have a Lil to love too!

[Optimist Prime]

I hope a get a Little Brother this semester. My big brother is graduating.

[stagebear]

i absolutey love and adore both my bigs and little! i've known one of my big sisters since my first week on campus. we have deferred rush, so i got to know her for a semester before i joined. i was so excited at big sis revealing. i knew my little sis from the first week she was on campus. i knew i wanter her as a sister the day i met her, but she didnt rush until a year and a half later.
i would never give any of them up. i make sure i give them big hugs everytime i see them.

[PM_Mama00]

My lil sis is my best friend. When she walked the stage on bid day and said she was Phi Mu, I knew that I wanted her as my lil. We fight a lot, but it's just dumb, petty fights, and we always make up.

I refuse to take a lil sis that I can't get close to. The whole point of having a lil sis is to be there for her and to guide her through her years. The lil sis I might take this semester, I'm not very cloes with now (the girl I really wanted was given to someone else) but if I do take her, I plan to get to know her better and become closer to her.

[AXOLiz]

I'll apologize in advance if this sounds bitter...my big and I had serious issues. In our chapter, the littles have pretty much complete say over who their big is. There's a TON of little-hunting, and it's really awful. It became this huge competition to see who could rack up the most littles in some cases, and the NMs are the ones who suffer. I couldn't decide between two sisters who were graduating that year and didn't have a little yet. I tried talking to some of the sisters I trusted, but I picked the ones who happen to be the worst little-hunters ever. They basically insinuated that someone's feelings would get hurt so I should pick someone else (them). There was another sister I would've picked, but the girl who ended up being her little was also in my pledge class and they were glued at the hip. Her big was really nice to me though, so I ended up picking her to avoid any problems with the original two.

Informal rush started right up again, and my big was out there hunting for her third little. I felt completely played. In addition, my big basically screwed over our whole chapter by reporting false charges to Greek Life and Nationals. Twice. For the record, there was some truth to what she said and the sisters involved were wrong, BUT the sisters who were wrong weren't the ones she turned in and she used her position on J-board to tack on extra, false charges. She did this completely out of the blue without talking to anyone on the exec board or our advisor...and to make things worse, I was coming in as the VP of Standards and the whole thing became my problem. I confronted her because she was just as guilty as everyone else and wouldn't admit it and I ended up telling her off. She caused 5 million problems the next year that I had to deal with, so I don't even talk to her anymore.

My little transferred the semester after she was initiated. She seems like a sweet girl, but I don't know her that well, and she's kind of a harsh person. I don't have any problems with her, but I also don't talk to her since I really don't know her.

The funny thing is...I really don't mind. In our chapter, people who weren't close with their bigs/littles often felt like they should be best friends and there was something wrong. I understood their frustration better than anyone and ended up with an adopted little or five. And one of the original two I couldn't choose between, we're now attached at the hip. At the time, if I would've picked her, I probably would've been mad because it takes her a long time to get close to anyone and I would've thought I got the shaft and ended up with a big who didn't like me. She became my adopted big for a while when I still felt I needed a big to be my bestest friend EVER, but then I graduated and that all died down. We're closer now than we probably would've been had I picked her, so despite my crappy experience, I wouldn't change a thing.

[shadokat]

It's funny, because one of my best friends pledged the semester before me, and I honestly thought if I pledged at her house, I'd have her for a big sister. Well, I did pledge at her house, but she wasn't eligible to take a little sister yet. And in hanging out with her and her pledge sisters while she pledged, I met one of them who I really liked who was a little older and got a little when I pledged. She and I just sort of assumed we'd end up together, and we did. And then she sort of bailed on all of the events. I vowed I would never do that to my little. While I had "pseudo" bigs who bought me presents and came to events with us, my own big disappointed me, and we don't talk at all now. She graduated the semester after I initiated.

Now my little on the other hand, is absolutely great! I was in her wedding, we still see each other whenever I'm in town and we talk and email. She's just an amazing girl who to this day will tell you that I was the reason she pledged (she's too sweet!!). Her little dropped out of school, and we thought our family was dead, but last year, she ended up taking a little again, and we're back in business! Now I have a little little and a little to the third!

As for advice on choosing a big/little, I say just as you joined your chapter by connecting with the sisters, see who you connect with during recruitment more personally, and make the effort to do the special things bigs do for their littles. Go to her events, get her little presents (there's plenty of cheaper stuff!), and make her feel special, and it will pay you back in more ways than you can imagine.

[sairose]

My big sis is really great, but unfortunately I'm really not close to her. When I pledged, it was her last semester, and didn't get to spend a lot of time with her. But, she's awesome, and we talk whenever we run into each other.

My lil sis is W-O-N-D-E-R-F-U-L!!!!! I had been friends with her since my first semester at college and had tried to get her to rush SAI a few times but she said she was too busy. Finally I guess she decided to, because she showed up at Rush, and I was so excited! I knew RIGHT THEN I wanted her for my lil.

We were already close, but her becoming my lil sis only made it better. We got closer when she was pledging, and she opened up to me and told me that she just got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The thing is, I too am bipolar(but am fine with my meds), and had struggled with it for years before getting help for it 2 years ago. She felt that no one understood until she found out I was bipolar. Now I'm helping her through this, and I feel like God meant for her to be my lil sis so I could help her with this struggle. I too had always felt that NO ONE understood what it was like to be bipolar, so I feel comforted too.

[annice22]

I got a new lil at the end of the last semester and she is really nice however I haven't had a lot of time to spend with her. She is so smart and plans to go to law school after finishing up her b.a. She wasn't able to spend any time for my B-day but she called me and that was really sweet. But I will see her at summer retreat and I'll get to spend some time with her. I will probably get a new lil after formal recruitment in the fall, and I hope that she is as nice as my third.

[WhirlwindTNX]

I think it runs in the family that bigs and littles aren't really that close. My grand-big and my big weren't as close as most and I'm not as close to my big, and neither is my little to me. It all has to do with being far away from each other. . .everyone is too far away so it's hard to be close. But this upcoming fall will be my first non-colonizing rush so I hope I will be very close to my little. Reading all of the responses gives me ideas on how I try to be friends with her.