Could You Wait? - Page 4

lovelyivy84 · #46 07-01-2002, 11:04 PM

*shrug*

Umm...yeah....celibate....sure.....lol

Sex is not something you do indiscriminately but I am female, and of the opinion that it is important in a relationship.

I agree with Swamp Thang. If a woman wants no sex, then she should look for a man who wants the same thing, rather than get involved in a relationship that will ultimately make one or both parties unhapppy and/or resentful.

A man who is not celibate might SAY that he'll wait, but if that is NOT something he's looking for then you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak. When some hoochie sees that he's taken and decides she wants him, it'll be that much easier for him to stray, because he knows he can get what he REALLY wants from her.

No offense gentlemen, but when it comes to sex, I just don't think most men in my age group are particularly responsible, and as such the idea of them waiting for a woman is questionable.

CodeBlue_R3 · #47 07-06-2002, 01:00 AM

As a woman who was a virgin up until after she was 18 and still held back after then I know there are a lot of men who are willing to wait, my boyfriend who I have been very active with (who is also my future husband) is stationed overseas and he is waiting a year for me-a lot of people don't believe it but I believe if a man really wants to do something without a question in mind-he can do it.

By the way does this mean no action at all I mean-no getting ate out, you not touching or anything?

I'm like it's a liquid cocaine isn't it-it feels so good. At least there's a lot of mental stuff you discover when your man is that far away lol.

Shhh...don't tell NOBODY lol.

Swamp Thang · #48 07-06-2002, 10:10 AM

I have a friend who's getting married on Aug. 31st to a Military Man. She, and her man we're active before he left to go overseas for 7 months..

After the 7 months, He was through with his stint and they 'made up for lost time'.LOL

Basically, I took the thread as "when the relationship is being established". If, like my friend, I'm in love with my partner and she has a military overseas stint to do or her job sends her away for 3 - 6 months to consult or whatever, then of course, I'll wait.. Because, even though we're separate, we still have the relationship that we want.

Havin' a monogomous sexual relationship where you and your partner are separated for a minute is different from having a partner who's abstinent.

Rain Man · #49 07-06-2002, 01:49 PM

YES!!

It so happens that just yesterday, I went out and bought a chastity ring (which resembles a wedding band only it's sterling silver and has the word "Purity" on it).

Lemme just say this: While I am by not physically a virgin, I have NEVER made love to a woman, even when I was married. I think the biggest reason was because my spirit was impure and I was never focused on the woman I was with while in bed.

The only thing I have to show for my times of intimacy was a lot of cheap thrills, anxiety attacks, and hurt feelings (mine and hers). I'm sorry, but that experience in the front seat of a '90 Honda Civic did not and could never teach me about true intimacy.

IMHO I have matured to a point where I don't want to meet body to body so much as I want to meet soul to soul and spirit to spirit with a woman. So I don't feel any anxiety about waiting to get married to connect with my mate. I haven't missed anything in doing so, and I have nothing to lose.

Just my 2 cents.

Sugar_N_Spice · #50 07-08-2002, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by neicy81 But ask yourself why are YOU having sex.No need to throw in a standard definition of sex.When you are feeling hot and bothered, you definitely aren't thinking "I really want this act of becoming one with another". "I want to become one with her".When you are in the act are you thinking "I am becoming one with her"?I don't think so.

First off, if you are addressing me personally, then you are WAY off base. I have not had sex for some years now. I choose not to engage in meaningless sex with a man, just b/c I'm "feeling hot and bothered". Secondly, as I stated earlier, please don't trivialize other people's views on sex. When I make love to a man, it's not only b/c I'm all hot and bothered...it's a physical expression of our love for one another...an expression of which I have only shared so far w/ one person and that I don't take lightly...

Quote:

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
I agree with Swamp Thang. If a woman wants no sex, then she should look for a man who wants the same thing, rather than get involved in a relationship that will ultimately make one or both parties unhapppy and/or resentful.

A man who is not celibate might SAY that he'll wait, but if that is NOT something he's looking for then you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak.

No offense gentlemen, but when it comes to sex, I just don't think most men in my age group are particularly responsible, and as such the idea of them waiting for a woman is questionable.

EXACTLY!!!! Finally, a fellow woman that I agree with and I can identify w/ (we're in the same age group)...You said ewxactly what i've been trying to say...

I say look for what you want in a man...If he doesn't have a quality that you desire, then don't waste your time trying to change him. Would you want a man trying to change you, telling you to have sex? I'm prety sure you wouldn't! That's why I don't even waste my time on men that want frivolous, meaningless sex. We'd have to have an understanding/agreement established at the BEGINNING of our relationship--that we won't have sex until both of us are ready--no matter how long it takes up until the point of when/if we get married...Neither partner would attempt to pressure the other into sex...And if he couldn't deal with that--if we are not in agreement, then why waste my time?! I'm young, and I'm sure God has the right man out there for me.

neicy81 · #51 07-09-2002, 03:16 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Sugar_N_Spice
[B]

First off, if you are addressing me personally, then you are WAY off base. I have not had sex for some years now. I choose not to engage in meaningless sex with a man, just b/c I'm "feeling hot and bothered". Secondly, as I stated earlier, please don't trivialize other people's views on sex. When I make love to a man, it's not only b/c I'm all hot and bothered...it's a physical expression of our love for one another...an expression of which I have only shared so far w/ one person and that I don't take lightly...

Ok you made some comments like you were active.I was only going by those.Secondly, I asked you what are you THINKING when you engage in intercourse?Just be honest and don't tap dance around the question.Third, I haven't trivialized anyone's ideas about sex.I still and will always feel that the idea about putting a person before God is ludicrous.And no I'm not referring to you.

Notorious33 · #52 07-10-2002, 04:29 PM

Hmmm. I am mad new to this whoa "greekchat"/posting thing, so let me first make my disclaimer and gain friends before I lost some with my typewritter words! So Big A Phi to My Fellow Greeks
06 to my Frat, much love to the sorors.

Now to the Nitty. Can I wait (speaking for one man of course). My answer is that it is a strong possiblity that I have it within me to wait. I truly find myself intriqued by women for a myriad of things, physically and mentally. As of today, in 2002, my answer leans strongly towards waiting or "prolonging" due to a number of personal factors; I feel as though I have "made" it (college grad, no children (bless those who do), young, disease free, and ALL MY TEETH!) yet have still so much further to go and accomplished. Mentally, I know that I am wanting that queen in my life (someone to challenge, push, be my biggest conqueror of me and me of her), but do fear if I am ready to "step up to the plate" if you will. My goal is not to "date" women, but to certainly learn from their experiences and help me grow in life. Sex, I have learned, becomes an unimportant important part of a relationship. But what I feel we have been to quick to experience is that virtual "masterbation"...that for the moment feeling of pleasure that accomplishes nothing but wanting more of a contentment a toy, woman or even hand could give you!
I feel that when I have been presented with "celibacy", it has not been a problem to regard a "no sex" rule; I think any man with a ounce of intelligence will vouch for that. Yet, some stimulation is Required. What is your niche? If sex was how you kept an individual interested in you in the past, what do you present to keep that intrique going?
To be blunt, yes I have enjoyed sex. Yes, I have loved making love. Is it an issue of a woman being celibate: no...but make that celibacy be a completely physical trait and not one that effects your mind, meaning a womans angle be "no sex" and every time we interact it is "to bad I am celibate" or "even still I am celibate" or "I wish I werent celibate". I guess I am touching on different types of "celibacy":mental and physical. Heard of Mind Sex (a phase over used yet still true)

Be Mindfull and Let your relationships flow. Showing attraction is not through a physical satisfaction.

Anyways and As always

Holla Front

Jamal5000 · #53 02-27-2003, 11:59 PM

God said in 1 Corinthians 6 that we should not involve ourselves with fornicators. He echos the command to stay away from fornication/sexual immorality in 1 Thessalonians 4; therefore, I must wait.

Believe me, I have swerved toward caving in, but thanks to lots of faith in Jesus, I have resisted giving into the temptation.

I would work hard to tell the woman I love that we need to start out each of our moments spent together in sincere prayer so that we don't give into those urges.

So far so good. I'm 26 and still a virgin. I pray that God keeps me that way.

I would work hard to wait until my girlfriend/fiancee and I were married before consumating our bond because that's what God would want.

AKA2D '91 · #54 02-28-2003, 09:05 AM

That's wonderful!

snuggles12 · #55 03-17-2003, 06:44 PM

Congratulations for living out your beliefs.

Question: I have friends who were virgins before they married but they did everything else but intercourse (i.e., no penetration). Did they fulfill that scripture of staying away from sexual immorality?

I ask that question because some people believe that christians should even not do heavy petting or getting to third base. They only believe that hand holding and kissing is allowed.

BJ

Quote:

Originally posted by Jamal5000
God said in 1 Corinthians 6 that we should not involve ourselves with fornicators. He echos the command to stay away from fornication/sexual immorality in 1 Thessalonians 4; therefore, I must wait.

Believe me, I have swerved toward caving in, but thanks to lots of faith in Jesus, I have resisted giving into the temptation.

I would work hard to tell the woman I love that we need to start out each of our moments spent together in sincere prayer so that we don't give into those urges.

So far so good. I'm 26 and still a virgin. I pray that God keeps me that way.

I would work hard to wait until my girlfriend/fiancee and I were married before consumating our bond because that's what God would want.

Jamal5000 · #56 03-18-2003, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Question: I have friends who were virgins before they married but they did everything else but intercourse (i.e., no penetration). Did they fulfill that scripture of staying away from sexual immorality? BJ

Unfortunately, they did not fulfill what the scripture said because in scripture the phrase "sexual immorality" refers to anything sexual (intercourse, oral, anal, petting, masturbating, etc.) because all of these activities intail personally involving the stimulation of the genitals as the primary, direct or indirect goal.

Sexual intercourse generally refers to any coming together of two people for coitus (penis into vagina) or copulation (a shared experience of a sexual nature).

The phrase "sexual immorality" or the word "fornication" translates a greek word called porneia that literally means "doing what a whore does". In other words, whatever a prosititute practices (intercourse, oral, anal, petting, masturbating, etc.) is forbidden for unmarried folks. (By the way, in the bible virgin only refers to women that are unmarried. It does not mean a man or a woman who has not had sexual intercourse. That part is somewhat implied)

Quote:

I ask that question because some people believe that christians should even not do heavy petting or getting to third base. They only believe that hand holding and kissing is allowed.

That's pretty much what I hear, too because doing any of those things focuses the couple on having sex or getting themselves ready to have sex. Short kissing (not Frenching) and hand holding are probably the safest bet.

Have you heard any other opinions? I would love to hear about them.

The Original Ape · #57 03-18-2003, 10:44 PM

I'm sorry. I would thank you for your openess and honesty, and I would wish us both all the happiness in the world; but it would be separate worlds.

Conskeeted19 · #58 03-21-2003, 04:12 AM

relationship, relationship, relationship..............weeeeeellllllll uuuuuuhhhhh.......lets seeeee..........I WANT TO GET RAN UP IN LIKE A WILD HYENA. lol lol

i have a girlfriend who refrained from having sex until she got married. actually, it was her boyfriend's idea. well, she found out what was really going on at the honeymoon. lol lol lol

my motto is SHAKE YO __ __ __ SHOW ME WHATCHA WORKING WITH.

Professor - you still make me laugh!!!!! how is fairfield!!!!

GRITS · #59 03-22-2003, 02:28 AM

I just took my vow of purity-which basically states that I would refrain from all sexual activities. After the 3rd week of class, I realized that it was more about my love for God, than my desire to be pure.

darling1 · #60 03-28-2003, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jamal5000
God said in 1 Corinthians 6 that we should not involve ourselves with fornicators. He echos the command to stay away from fornication/sexual immorality in 1 Thessalonians 4; therefore, I must wait.

Believe me, I have swerved toward caving in, but thanks to lots of faith in Jesus, I have resisted giving into the temptation.

I would work hard to tell the woman I love that we need to start out each of our moments spent together in sincere prayer so that we don't give into those urges.

So far so good. I'm 26 and still a virgin. I pray that God keeps me that way.

I would work hard to wait until my girlfriend/fiancee and I were married before consumating our bond because that's what God would want.

i will pray for you on this. being celibate is a challenge and sometimes folks are not able to keep that committment.