I suicided - Page 4

irishpipes · #1 08-27-2014, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463

You do realize that she may not have the option to COB at such a large SEC school where even the struggling chapters aren't exactly struggling, right? What other great reasons would someone have for choosing to suicide at a school where Greek life is huge? Please tell me.

I have known young ladies who would really be scraping together every dime and incurring debt to go Greek. I think that is a compelling reason to ISP. Why go into debt when you aren't feeling it? Going through recruitment doesn't establish a commitment to accept a bid.

pinksequins · #2 08-27-2014, 04:56 PM

I believe that what many posters are saying is that it is commendable that you (and many PNMs) are supportive and open to such chapters. But they are also saying that not everyone else is, nor will they be and that they are entitled to make that choice without either having to delve into details or being subjected to being scolded. Those women's obligation, having made their decisions, is to own the results and not whine.

pinksequins · #3 08-27-2014, 05:18 PM

In their minds, they simply do not want the chapter. They would rather not be Greek (whether or not that is a fair or correct assessment). Chastising someone may, in fact, reinforce the PNMs view rather than persuade her otherwise.

ASUADPi · #4 08-28-2014, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins

In their minds, they simply do not want the chapter. They would rather not be Greek (whether or not that is a fair or correct assessment). Chastising someone may, in fact, reinforce the PNMs view rather than persuade her otherwise.

But this is obviously NOT the case of the OP as she started her post indicating that she SIP'd and wanted to know about COB.

In cases like this I have to agree with ALS463, it is hard for me to imagine that in a chapter of 300+ women and a new member class of at least 130, that she could't find someone to form a relationship with.

But I do understand that 18-19 year olds don't look beyond what they see in front of them. They are 1) listening to the tent talk and 2) only thinking about the sisters they have spoken too, not the 200+ that they have never talked too.

ADPi Conniebama · #5 08-27-2014, 07:34 PM

This has been a great thread. I pretty much agree with als. I am anti sip however I have seen that new member showing up at bid day with a sour puss because the dirty rushing or tent talk has told her crazy stuff. It is up to the chapter to keep recruiting her through out her pledging process. And seems a bit closed minded to me for a girl to say there is only one place for her, when there are many many girls in each chapter of which she can bond if she tried. Oh and if money is the reason. . For goodness sakes don't go greek.

maconmagnolia · #6 08-27-2014, 08:26 PM

For those who are anti-SIP: you'd rather Patty PNM list two chapters, one of which if she gets she will decline the bid, and therefore take a spot from Betsy PNM who would love a bid to the chapter Patty didn't want? That's just silliness.

DeltaBetaBaby · #7 08-27-2014, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maconmagnolia

For those who are anti-SIP: you'd rather Patty PNM list two chapters, one of which if she gets she will decline the bid, and therefore take a spot from Betsy PNM who would love a bid to the chapter Patty didn't want? That's just silliness.

This argument holds no water. We are almost always talking about the WRC, in which case, Betsy's "spot" will not be taken. If they make quota, Betsy will be a QA.

33girl · #8 08-27-2014, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

This argument holds no water. We are almost always talking about the WRC, in which case, Betsy's "spot" will not be taken. If they make quota, Betsy will be a QA.

That's what I was thinking - this mythical "spot" is usually filled by snap bids or open bids. So you miss bid day, honestly, it isn't that big of a deal in a collegiate career full of membership.

ladybug12 · #9 08-29-2014, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maconmagnolia

For those who are anti-SIP: you'd rather Patty PNM list two chapters, one of which if she gets she will decline the bid, and therefore take a spot from Betsy PNM who would love a bid to the chapter Patty didn't want? That's just silliness.

This I agree with. And we have all probably worked with chapters where women who matched did not show up for bid day...and later when seeing the RFM report note that there were more women who preffed your group first than quota. So definately, the PNM who did not show on bid day took the spot of a woman who wanted that bid...

33girl · #10 08-29-2014, 11:42 AM

If that woman is still out there, then give her a bid! I don't get why that is so hard. If she's not still out there- as DBB said, it's usually the WRCs that have the issue with women not showing up. If they're to turn that around, they need pledge classes where the majority of women have wanted them as their first choice. Think outside the box. Bid sophomore women the chapter knows and likes. Have an open bid party and a second "mini bid day" a week later.

amIblue? · #11 08-27-2014, 08:50 PM

I think that just about anyone can find women she connects with in a large chapter, but if someone is going to be closed minded and a bitch on bid day because she got her last choice, I'd prefer that she SIP and not ruin the day of the women who are happy to be there. If she never gets the chance to be Greek as a result of her SIP, she's the one that has to live with her choice. She's the only one in the world affected by her decision.

AZTheta · #12 08-27-2014, 09:22 PM

We are talking about 17, 18, and 19 year old women (for the most part). Keep that in mind.

It's easy for us to say, from our viewpoints as GLO members, "there is no bad chapter" "you can make friends" blah blah blah. These young women may not think that way or have the benefit of our experience(s). It is what it is.

Can we all agree that we see this from a variety of perspectives and leave it at that?

sigmagirl2000 · #13 08-27-2014, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

We are talking about 17, 18, and 19 year old women (for the most part). Keep that in mind.

It's easy for us to say, from our viewpoints as GLO members, "there is no bad chapter" "you can make friends" blah blah blah. These young women may not think that way or have the benefit of our experience(s). It is what it is.

Can we all agree that we see this from a variety of perspectives and leave it at that?

get off the computer. you are away until Friday earliest!

pinksequins · #14 08-27-2014, 09:30 PM

DGTess nailed it. There need not be a sound or persuasive reason. These women can make whatever choice they deem right for them, whether we personally agree or not. Not all PNMs are seeking friends -- like it or not, there are status seeking PNMs; there are Regina George PNMs. If a PNM wishes to ISP, so be it. Lectures are not going to change their minds nor necessarily make them feel bad. Often it has the opposite effect.

PinkSkyAtNight · #15 08-27-2014, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins

DGTess nailed it. There need not be a sound or persuasive reason. These women can make whatever choice they deem right for them, whether we personally agree or not. Not all PNMs are seeking friends -- like it or not, there are status seeking PNMs; there are Regina George PNMs. If a PNM wishes to ISP, so be it. Lectures are not going to change their minds nor necessarily make them feel bad. Often it has the opposite effect.

Yes, plenty of Regina Georges, I don't see it as my job to educate or persuade them to be anything else. Usually this type of attitude is so engrained, that is isn't really you can coach someone into being open-minded. In all likelihood, their parents and their upbringing had a lot of influence on it.

On that note, I can think of at least three Regina Georges in my pledge class who pretty much went out of their way freshman year to erode the morale of my class, by continually reminding everyone how lucky we were to have them, as we were their 2nd choice. I remember at our freshman walkout, overhearing someone tell them, "too bad you didn't suicide" when the subject came up, again. They quit by mid-semester of sophomore year and nobody missed them. We didn't stoop to trying to convince them to stay or get mad at them, this would have only inflated their egos. In fact, we were a lot stronger when they did leave. There were a couple sisters who wanted to drop for other reasons along the way, and they were worth fighting for.