deactivate?

[unicorn303]

Lately I've been unhappy with my chapter and thinking about deactivating. However being a part of the national organization is really important to me and I want to stay a part of it. Is there any way I can get alumni status?

I don't really want to participate in our campus activities (mixing with freshman/soph boys isnt fun, im sick of the binge drinking scene, I'm only close with like 10 girls out of the 100 in our chapter) and for the few events I go to, its really not worth the $1000/year I'm paying. So I haven't had any fights/problems with my chapter and I don't want to leave on bad terms... is it possible to ask for alumni status?

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by unicorn303

Lately I've been unhappy with my chapter and thinking about deactivating. However being a part of the national organization is really important to me and I want to stay a part of it. Is there any way I can get alumni status?

I don't really want to participate in our campus activities (mixing with freshman/soph boys isnt fun, im sick of the binge drinking scene, I'm only close with like 10 girls out of the 100 in our chapter) and for the few events I go to, its really not worth the $1000/year I'm paying. So I haven't had any fights/problems with my chapter and I don't want to leave on bad terms... is it possible to ask for alumni status?

It absolutely depends on what organization you're a member of (but don't go posting it on the open board). I would try to stick it out, though.

You could stick around and change things. If you're tired of the drinking and frat scene, maybe you could help pledge girls who share you're way of thinking. It might be good for your whole chapter to get some new blood. Maybe you could take and officer position.

Some organizations can grant early/emergency alum status, but your situation would probably not fall into that category. If you're a freshman, sophomore, or even junior, you're probably going to have to quit or stick it out. I would stick it out...you really have the possibility to change things for your chapter.

[Thetagirl218]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

It absolutely depends on what organization you're a member of (but don't go posting it on the open board). I would try to stick it out, though.

You could stick around and change things. If you're tired of the drinking and frat scene, maybe you could help pledge girls who share you're way of thinking. It might be good for your whole chapter to get some new blood. Maybe you could take and officer position.

Some organizations can grant early/emergency alum status, but your situation would probably not fall into that category. If you're a freshman, sophomore, or even junior, you're probably going to have to quit or stick it out. I would stick it out...you really have the possibility to change things for your chapter.

AGD is right on, it all depends on your GLO. Each group is different when it comes to alum and deactive status. My advice would me to review your sorority and chapter policies regarding this issue.

I had a friend in college who was a member of a different GLO. She deactivated and gave up her pin during her senior year because of similar reasons. She is now an alum and is regretting that decision.

I would agree that you should stick with it. You can only change things from the inside, not the outside.

[unicorn303]

Originally Posted by Thetagirl218

AGD is right on, it all depends on your GLO. Each group is different when it comes to alum and deactive status. My advice would me to review your sorority and chapter policies regarding this issue.

do you know where I would find this information? Is it something I should contact nationals about, or our chapter exec board? There is nothing about it in our chapter bylaws, just a short paragraph on deactivating with nothing mentioning "emergency alum status" or anything like that.

I would feel bad about deactivating completely, maybe not next year but after i graduate. I don't want to give up my pin! At the same time the "greek scene" doesn't interest me very much anymore, esp since most of my closest friends aren't greek (except the few girls in my chapter I am very close to).. and its soooo expensive.

this is such a hard choice

[OleMissGlitter]

I would speak with an officer first, like your VP of Chapter Relatoins or VP of Standards. Then if they are not helpful, contact an advisor. Using the chain of command is the first key to communication success. Also, what about getting involved more with philanthropic events and things like that?

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by unicorn303

do you know where I would find this information? Is it something I should contact nationals about, or our chapter exec board? There is nothing about it in our chapter bylaws, just a short paragraph on deactivating with nothing mentioning "emergency alum status" or anything like that.

I would feel bad about deactivating completely, maybe not next year but after i graduate. I don't want to give up my pin! At the same time the "greek scene" doesn't interest me very much anymore, esp since most of my closest friends aren't greek (except the few girls in my chapter I am very close to).. and its soooo expensive.

this is such a hard choice

I hate to say it, but I hardly consider "not being interested in the greek scene anymore" a valid reason to go on emergency alum status.

Joining a GLO, whether it's NPC, IFC, NPHC, local, whatever shouldn't be treated like a club that you can choose to come and go as you please because something doesn't interest you now, but you might like being an alum later.

If you don't want to spend the money, and you don't feel it's "worth it" just deactivate and open up the slot for your chapter to find someone who really is.

I find it hard to believe that in a chapter of 100+ women you can't find anyone there who is interested in things that you are that have nothing to do with the "binge drinking scene".

And for $1000+ per semester, I would assume, or at least HOPE that your chapter has more than a couple activities per year. Or was that you only chose to attend a couple of events per year? If it's that your chapter only holds a couple events per year, you might want to have a talk with your exec board to see where all the chapter's dues go to.

[unicorn303]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

I hate to say it, but I hardly consider "not being interested in the greek scene anymore" a valid reason to go on emergency alum status.

Joining a GLO, whether it's NPC, IFC, NPHC, local, whatever shouldn't be treated like a club that you can choose to come and go as you please because something doesn't interest you now, but you might like being an alum later.

If you don't want to spend the money, and you don't feel it's "worth it" just deactivate and open up the slot for your chapter to find someone who really is.

I find it hard to believe that in a chapter of 100+ women you can't find anyone there who is interested in things that you are that have nothing to do with the "binge drinking scene".

And for $1000+ per semester, I would assume, or at least HOPE that your chapter has more than a couple activities per year. Or was that you only chose to attend a couple of events per year? If it's that your chapter only holds a couple events per year, you might want to have a talk with your exec board to see where all the chapter's dues go to.

I mean, no there are events every week.. usually mixers with a fraternity. And I loved them freshman and sophomore year, but I've gotten bored with them. And we also have sisterhood events every week or every other week but I don't usually have time for them. I usually go to chapter every Sunday. We have a crush party coming up next weekend and I will probably go to that!

As for the girls, I have one best friend in it.. we roomed together when we lived in the House and we are getting an apartment together next year. I also have a group of 5 girls in it who I am pretty good friends with, we travel and meet up outside of school and stuff. Other girls in it I am friendly with on a surface level. There are some I don't like, but no major conflicts. Our new pledge class (from January) is fine but I haven't gotten to know them yet and I really don't care about getting to know them.

Another thing is, my 5 close friends in it aren't SUPER active, well 2 are active but abroad, 1 is decently active and 2 are not very active. So I hate going to events and not having my close group there which makes me not want to go to anything, so now I feel like I might as well not pay for going to nothing.

And getting more involved... idk if I want to meet NEW people.. I already have a large-enough social network, mainly outside of the Greek system, so that's another reason I don't want to go to events at times, leaving my friends to go to events where there are people I don't know as well?

And i dont really have soo much money to throw around u kno? I have loans and stuff so its a lot of money I could save.

At the same time, the rituals and meanings and idea of sisterhood is important to me and I like our ceremonies and having a pin and wearing letters.

I guess typing this out was just for me to get my thoughts out.

[Thetagirl218]

Originally Posted by unicorn303

do you know where I would find this information? Is it something I should contact nationals about, or our chapter exec board? There is nothing about it in our chapter bylaws, just a short paragraph on deactivating with nothing mentioning "emergency alum status" or anything like that.

Most sororities have a section on deactivating in their national bylaws if it is not in the chapter ones. I do agree with the other posters, please make sure you follow the chain of command.

If you have any specific questions for me just send me a PM.

[RaggedyAnn]

"I mean, no there are events every week.. usually mixers with a fraternity. And I loved them freshman and sophomore year, but I've gotten bored with them. And we also have sisterhood events every week or every other week but I don't usually have time for them. I usually go to chapter every Sunday. We have a crush party coming up next weekend and I will probably go to that! "


OK, here is your problem in a nut shell. You go to parties and meetings. No wonder all you feel like it is about is parties. And let's face it, most meetings are not exactly the funnest of events.

I highly encourage you to go to other events. In fact, you'll probably enjoy the parties more if you do. Sisterhood is not about what just happens at parties. It is much, much more-but you can't find that out if you are not attending events. Unless you are in class, study on Friday and Saturday and attend the sisterhood events if you have to choose. The old saying "You get out of it what you put into it" is REALLY true.

[Zillini]

Forgive me as this will probably come across as harsh, but frankly I'm a little tired of hearing similar complaints. You are bored and too busy to do the same old things. You've got enough friends now and don't need any more. You want to quit and are wondering if there's anyway to do so without losing your alum status.

My question is what have you done to make things more fun and worthwhile? Ask not what your sisters can do for you, but what can you do for your sisters? You made a lifelong commitment when you joined your sorority. Now is the time to ask yourself a hard question. Are you the sort of person who lives up to her commitments or walks away if it isn't easy or fun all the time without making any effort to change things? Whatever you decide make sure you can live with it for the rest of your life.

To answer your question, like others have said it depends on your GLO's policy as well as any additional policies your chapter may have. For my chapter we only grant inactivity for unforeseen financial difficulties or medical reasons.

[lauralaylin]

What helped me feel more connected to my chapter was getting involved. I decided to attend all events, took a position, and forced myself to do things because I thought it might help me. And it really did. While I never had the same connection to the other sisters that they seemed to have for each other, I still became much closer to the other sisters. I also developed a wonderful connection to my organization as a whole. I really feel like it was worth sticking through it. I love being an alum and am very active now and have made a ton of close friendships with sisters not from my chapter.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by lauralaylin

What helped me feel more connected to my chapter was getting involved. I decided to attend all events, took a position, and forced myself to do things because I thought it might help me. And it really did. While I never had the same connection to the other sisters that they seemed to have for each other, I still became much closer to the other sisters. I also developed a wonderful connection to my organization as a whole. I really feel like it was worth sticking through it. I love being an alum and am very active now and have made a ton of close friendships with sisters not from my chapter.

I beleive you said it all.

One only gets out of what they put into any group whether now or after graduation.

One may be board or does not get along with certain members but there is the real world out there that will be the same way.

For the original poster, You and only You can make the decission.

Be a bigger part of something or not. Graduation is a major part of life, would you like to have Sisters from all over that you could talk with or a friend or two or none?

[aabby757]

It sounds like you may be lonely, and forgive me for saying this, maybe a bit depressed. If your best friends are abroad, have money angst, etc that is enough to be a bit depressed I'd say.

As a old broad here is my perspective. It sounds like you are an upperclassman. I say stick it out. If nothing else for the time you may want to fall back on it. You never know if you move, change cities, etc you have an automatic link to women who have something in common with you.

As for the money, in the scheme of things, it's not *that* money, especially if you're graduating soon.

Yes, becoming more involved too is great.

But I'll tell you, when I was a senior, I was burnt out. I didn't know any of the pledges, etc. I wasn't a letter wearer only, I was just done. Kinda like living at the beach for the summer. I loved it until the day before I left and then I wanted to get the heck home!

If you aren't an involved alumnae that's ok too. But you don't have that option if you quit.

Don't let your angst/mood/friends being away make you end/sever/permentantely end something that perhaps would do you some good in the future.

You will be out of college way more years than you are in so who knows having your sorority to fall back on may be a great thing.

Don't quit is my two cents.

[ree-Xi]

It sounds like you have already made up your mind, and are looking for validation that it's the right decision. I am not trying to be harsh.

I am not sure of your org's rules, but if they say that you cannot take early alumnae status, then perhaps you should leave. From what I can see, you are not showing any allegiance to your sisterhood, nor any friendship to the individual sisters outside your little circle.

Let me tell you that if you do deactivate, you will likely not be traveling in the same daily/weekly paths that your sisters will. It will be very difficult to keep the intensity of your friendships with a group of sisters, once you are out of the loop.

I am going to disagree with many here and not encourage you to stay, if what you enjoy most are the external ornaments of membership. Open up the space for a girl who really wants the whole shebang.

It's no fun - for you or anyone else - having someone play if they aren't a willing participant. Time to make a grown up decision, and be able to live with it.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

[unicorn303]

Thank you everyone for your responses (even the harsh ones ..I need to hear it ). All the comments have given me something to think about. Not sure what I will do yet but I think I will try in the next few weeks to be more active and reach out to sisters im not as close to, and see if that changes my perspective. Feeling this way is a relatively new thing since the end of last semester.. for the last 1.5 years I lived and breathed and loved my sorority and some of the replies made me feel bad about leaving it. I'm not just a letterwearer, or at least I didnt used to be. I'll just need to figure out for myself if being active in my sor is right for me right now.

Thanks all <3.