Legacy

AOII Angel · #1 05-09-2007, 07:19 AM

I was a legacy to AOII. Looking back I didn't really have a choice which sorority to join since my sister (who is less than a year older than me) pledged the year before. If she hadn't been a member I don't know what I would have chosen. Don't get me wrong....I love my chapter and my sorority. But, I didn't give it much thought since I would have devastated my sister by pledging another group. Do you think being a legacy is too much pressure for rushees?
I give you another example. We got a new member the year after I joined who was a double legacy to Phi Mu. She put them first on her pref list, but on bid day was running down our hall crying. Once she got over "letting her sisters down" she became a wonderful AOII. I know she loves AOII, but her bid day was a nightmare. (I still wonder why Phi Mu didn't take her...The rest has been edited in respect to a fellow sister!)

dgdramadawg · #2 05-09-2007, 07:48 AM

I definitely think it depends on the rushee and on the rushee's family. I was the first person in my family to join a GLO that someone else (my aunt) was already a member of, so it was fairly commonplace not to pledge where one was a legacy (or otherwise connected to a house). I didn't feel pressure from my mom at all to pledge her house, and even though she would have liked to see me pledge there, she felt it was most important for me to be happy.

Then again, one of my dorm friends freshman year sat crying after she finished her rankings the night before bid day because she had chosen the sorority of one sister over the sorority of her mom and other sister. All three family members were Greek at the same school and were still very involved with their chapters as alumnae. I can see how she felt pressure to please them with where she pledged... it'd be hard to go elsewhere and then see siblings and mom on campus at other houses all the time.

FSUZeta · #3 05-09-2007, 09:22 AM

one of my pledge sisters was a legacy to three other sororities at fsu and two of her sisters were still on campus at the time. this young woman was extremely independent and wanted to make her own way. i think that she also wanted to avoid choosing one sisters sorority over another-no matter what, we were awfully happy that she joined our chapter.

my cousin's daughter joined her mom's sorority during her sophomore year-it was a disaster. she just never got into it-i remember her dad telling her one time that since he had paid for the meal plan at the house, he expected her to go over there and eat.she preferred staying at her apartment and cooking for herself. i think that she would have been much more happy in another chapter. don't get me wrong, the one she joined is a top group on campus, just wan't the right fit for her. i don't know if she joined them due to their reputation, or because of her mom-who did not pressure her to join any particular one.

my daughter rushed this past fall. i know that she truly gave all 5 chapters at her school a chance, but in the end she chose zta. now that she is about to complete her first year of college, she has gotten to learn the overall personality of each of the sororities on campus-she still feels that she made the right decision. she has friends in all the other chapters. since her recruitment, i have heard that some of the chapters are very wary of other sororities legacies, and are afraid to take a chance by extending them a bid. i think that there is always a chance that that will happen.

this happened to a zta friends daughter who rushed this past fall at a much larger university. she was being heavily rushed by one sorority who would be considered direct rivals to the zta chapter where she attends school. the party before prefs. they dropped her like a hot potato. she was bewildered because she thought they really liked her. her mom explained that they probably did, but that they were afraid she would not put them first on her bid list. she ended up pledging zta, which, truthfully had been her first choice the entire week and is very happy, but it really shook her confidence, because she began to doubt herself and her ability to read people. on top of that, the pnms learned right before the parties who had invited them back, so the pnms had little time to compose themselves if a favorite had not invited them back.

33girl · #4 05-09-2007, 11:07 AM

I think a lot of times, even if they try not to, moms or sisters end up putting pressure on the legacy to join their group. It's all around hard, because not only does the mom/sis have to deal with the fact that the group might not be the best fit for their daughter/sis, but that if THEY were going through rush, the chapter might not be the best fit for them anymore either. It's a lot easier to just think that the chapter is going on with people you would like and hang out with even if that is no longer the case.

Eirbear · #5 05-09-2007, 11:14 AM

I'm a double legacy to Alpha Xi. While this might have influenced my initial thoughts when beginning formal recruitment a couple years ago, I tried my hardest to keep an open mind. I put Alpha Xi first on my bid card, but it wasn't because my mom and grandmother are both Alpha Xi's. The chapter on my campus is the place I felt most comfortable during recruitment, and I really clicked with all the sisters. Even now, I know I made the right choice.

We have two other Alpha Xi legacies in our chapter--both have moms who were in our chapter "back in the day," when my mom was there too. But we also have a few legacies from other chapters on our campus. My sorority family Twin is actually a Zeta Tau Alpha legacy, and she's not the only one. Other chapters on campus have some legacies to our chapter. Maybe because our campus is small and only has four sorority chapters to choose from, but I think legacies here generally go into recruitment with an open mind and they choose the chapter they feel they connect with best. So, to answer your question, no, I don't think being a legacy is too hard on the rushee.

eli_the_chopper · #6 05-09-2007, 11:49 AM

from a guy's perspective:

I'd disown my son if he didn't join Lambda Chi. Doesn't even matter if his school doesn't have a chapter. Maybe he should've thought of that before applying.

aopirose · #7 05-09-2007, 12:04 PM

A woman that I know has been practicing her mantra for years, "God made us mother and daughter but only You can make us sisters."

So_Sweet720 · #8 05-09-2007, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eli_the_chopper

from a guy's perspective:

I'd disown my son if he didn't join Lambda Chi. Doesn't even matter if his school doesn't have a chapter. Maybe he should've thought of that before applying.

I never understood this perspective or line of reasoning. I would never disown my child because they chose to go a different route than I did. For me it's all about what makes my child happy. My husband is a Sigma (Phi Beta Sigma) and I am a Zeta (Zeta Phi Beta). If any of our daughters or son don't decide to become a Zeta or Sigma there will be no love lost. My Godmom and aunt are both Delta's and while I love them dearly, I had to do what was best for me, not what I thought would make them happy.

AOII Angel · #9 05-09-2007, 06:02 PM

I think it's really easy to say that there is no pressure, but I think inherently there is. I honestly didn't like any of AOII's parties ( they did Mardi Gras with everyone dressed up like it's Halloween....Mardi Gras isn't like that!; they did Christmas party which was okay and pref was at an alum's house but was outside in the middle of August in Louisiana-- did they not realize it was hot as hell with a gazillion mosquitoes?) Anyway, I didn't even really bond with the girls that rushed me. I still couldn't bring myself to join another group. The funny thing is....rush is such a poor example of what a chapter is! What I learned later was that my impression during rush was a very skewed picture of what my chapter really was. How can anyone really make a reasonable decision with the way rush is set up?

KSUViolet06 · #10 05-09-2007, 07:06 PM

I think in some situations there is pressure. I think it's especially true in situations where the girl is a legacy of the sorority AND that chapter.

For example, this girl I know was a legacy to a sorority (lets call them XY) through her older sister, who was a senior and officer in the chapter. She of course wanted her sister to be an XY with her more than anything. This girl grew up in HS coming to the XY house and spending the night during Little Sibs weekend and coming to Homecoming cookouts. Her sister would always say stuff like, "When you move into the house next semester we can ____." So she pretty well assumed that when she came to college, she was going to be an XY.

Fast forward to recruitment, her sister got invited back to XY every round. She pretty well assumed that she'd end up there. For whatever reason (of course I'll never know), she was NOT INVITED TO PREF. She had a full schedule of pref parties so she had other options, but she didn't care. Since her sister had joined XY, she grew up hearing about how great it was and her sister saying she couldn't wait for her to come to KSU and join.

She was devastated. She dropped out of recruitment and transferred back home to a community college. She couldn't bear the thought of going to school with her sister and not being in the sorority. Her sister actually took early alumna status from the chapter because she was so upset over her sister being cut. She made no secret that she was extremely upset with the sorority and even sent their HQ a strongly worded letter.

So yes, there is pressure for legacies. I think that even when they try not to, the sister/mom/whoever can set them up for a bad ending by acting as if they are guaranteed a bid.

BabyPiNK_FL · #11 05-09-2007, 07:21 PM

OH.MY.GAWD.

I could not imagine in my wildest dreams, being around these women, spending the night several times in the house, having pretty much everyone know me, making it all the way to the night before pref and getting cut. I know that recruitment is recruitment, yadda yadda yadda, but if she wasn't super snotty or ultra rude or something like that (and you don't make it seem like she is at least). I mean, I know no group is obligated to take ANYBODY, but that is the ulltimate in cruel. There were no signs to her the people didn't "feel" her or anything. I mean, I know you will never know exactly why but...OMG, I...I don't even know what to make of that one. I would have probably had to see a counselor for that. That just seems like the ultimate "b*tch" slap upside the head.

mystikchick · #12 05-09-2007, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

She was devastated. She dropped out of recruitment and transferred back home to a community college. She couldn't bear the thought of going to school with her sister and not being in the sorority. Her sister actually took early alumna status from the chapter because she was so upset over her sister being cut.

wow.

ErinIsBadNews · #13 05-09-2007, 07:49 PM

I think sometimes, in rare cases, knowing people in an organization can hurt you. If they know something compromising, it could be detrimental to you getting a bid. I know this sounds bad and I'm sure this was not the case in that situation, but if one of my sisters mentioned something about her younger sister's (i.e., an extreme drug addiction and refusal to get help), I am not sure I'd want her in my letters. I can't imagine being in thats girls situation and I'm sure it was terrible, I'm just saying....

bejazd · #14 05-09-2007, 10:42 PM

Oh, c'mon girls! If the sister of an active currently in the chapter goes through rush, she better have three heads and a tail before you cut her! Same goes for the legacy of your HCB president, or the alum that just donated your new piano. !!! eek.

It probably had more to do with the sister in the chapter than the PNM.

SWTXBelle · #15 05-10-2007, 07:56 AM

My legacy story . . . my mother belonged to Theta Psi Delta, a local sorority at Southwest Texas. When NPC groups came on campus, they became a NPC sorority, but my mother was unable to come be initiated. Fast forward - I am going through rush at SWT. The morning of second round, I was told of my aunt's death. I went to my "legacy" group - and when asked how I was doing, burst into tears. I was cut that night. In retrospect, it may have been because I was a sophomore, having transferred from another school. At any rate, I obviously went Gamma Phi. When my mother inquired about initiation into the NPC group Theta Psi became, she was told she would have to go through rush, essentially. Uh, no. I'm happy to report that she is now a proud Gamma Phi Beta, who served for years as a chapter advisor.
Oh - and when I graduated, my mother was seated next to several of her Theta Psi sisters. I was selected as the Outstanding Senior Woman of my class, and during the ceremony one of my mother's sisters asked her why I wasn't a member of THEIR sorority. My mother enjoyed filling her in . . .