How do you trust someone?

[1908Revelations]

^^^ Oh, I agree that there are crazy people everywhere!!! I am just more of a skeptic about the internet. I don't frequent clubs, but I got cussed out about a month ago for not giving a guy my number. I was being nice about it, but he was not hearing it.

/end hijack

[christiangirl]

Nothing wrong with investigating. I used to work in a security office, so I run "mini background checks" on people all the time.

I've met 2 guys on the net. The first one kept insisting that I meet him in private instead of public. He wasn't forceful, but it was still weird. It turns out sex wasn't the only reason for that--he was engaged and didn't want to risk being seen in public by his fiance or one of her friends.

The second said he used to be some hot shot football player in college, so I Googled him before agreeing to meet him. He was everything he said he was and things are great.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

^^^ Oh, I agree that there are crazy people everywhere!!! I am just more of a skeptic about the internet. I don't frequent clubs, but I got cussed out about a month ago for not giving a guy my number. I was being nice about it, but he was not hearing it.

/end hijack

I've been called a dyke several times for passing up guys. Another girl at my school walked past a guy without speaking when he catcalled her and he pulled a gun on her

[PM_Mama00]

He came clean today about everything, and I confessed that I found him on there. He has no clue that that's why I was being a psycho. He told me the reason he was trying to get me to come over alone was because he knew I wouldn't and wanted to scare me away because of his situation. He said he just looks for girls to talk to online, not to meet in person or anything.

His situation? He was 18 and met a girl online. They would go to 18 and up clubs and stuff. He broke up with her and one day he got a phone call from the cops. Apparently she was 15 but had a fake ID. Instead of going to jail for 15 years, he pled some other plea that I forget. I'm going to look into it with the state police. If he really is telling the truth, he's actually a pretty cool guy, and I wouldn't want to miss the chance of getting to know him.

[James]

Why didn't he just say he didn't want to take it to the next level? Or say he didn't want to meet you, just wanted to stay pen-pals so to speak.

That seems easier than trying to terrify you.

Who does that?

Maybe if you think he is a cool guy you should just keep chatting online and leave the meeting alone.

You can get to know him fine just by chatting.

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

He came clean today about everything, and I confessed that I found him on there. He has no clue that that's why I was being a psycho. He told me the reason he was trying to get me to come over alone was because he knew I wouldn't and wanted to scare me away because of his situation. He said he just looks for girls to talk to online, not to meet in person or anything.

His situation? He was 18 and met a girl online. They would go to 18 and up clubs and stuff. He broke up with her and one day he got a phone call from the cops. Apparently she was 15 but had a fake ID. Instead of going to jail for 15 years, he pled some other plea that I forget. I'm going to look into it with the state police. If he really is telling the truth, he's actually a pretty cool guy, and I wouldn't want to miss the chance of getting to know him.

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

He came clean today about everything, and I confessed that I found him on there. He has no clue that that's why I was being a psycho. He told me the reason he was trying to get me to come over alone was because he knew I wouldn't and wanted to scare me away because of his situation. He said he just looks for girls to talk to online, not to meet in person or anything.
If he really is telling the truth, he's actually a pretty cool guy, and I wouldn't want to miss the chance of getting to know him.

If all he wanted was to keep it online, he should have just said that outright. Seriously, something is not right in his head. I really wouldn't bother with him.

[ΑΓΔSquirrel10]

This guy sounds really creepy! I would stay far, far away from him, including on the internet. It doesn't seem wise to continue this whole "online pen-pal" thing anymore.

[PrettyBoy]

Dude, just cut the crazy joker a loose. You know he's no good.

[AchtungBaby80]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

He told me the reason he was trying to get me to come over alone was because he knew I wouldn't and wanted to scare me away because of his situation. He said he just looks for girls to talk to online, not to meet in person or anything.

That's really lame. It sounds like he's just trying to backpedal after you wouldn't agree to meet him alone...you know, like, "Oh, I didn't really want you to come over to my house alone--I was just saying that! Ha ha ha..."

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think that's true for dating anyone. When I met the current Mr. Munch (in real life), he gave me his business card--and of course before I accepted the first date, I did a small bit of reconaissance to make sure that his story lined up. Unless I know a guy through friends, I always do a little research to make sure he doesn't have kids and a wife, or a criminal record, before accepting a date. It might be unromantic, but I'm alive.

I think this is standard and safe dating behavior - I was introduced to my boyfriend through mutual friends and I still asked them if he was for real, what his deal was, etc. It's always better to be safe.

PM_Mama, this guy sounds really sketchy and like one of my future clients. I'd stay away. Most guys who have a statutory rape for something like that are much more up front about it.