Quote:
Originally posted by KSig RC
Holy CRAP that reminds me of the time I was stopped by a police officer who reminded me that I'm not allowed to ride a bike attached via rope to a moving car - I told him "SHUT UP MUTHAFUCKA I'M OLD ENUFF 2 RIDE!" and my cousin (who invented electric light and the Electric Light Orchestra but not the concept of the Orchestra) blasted the Ruff Ryders Anthem out the car. It turns out there's no legal age for that - it's just plain illegal - so he beat my young-looking ass with the nightstick. Later, when I was the Prince of Wales, I would have a similar encounter over a man who claimed to have intercourse with me - the police arrested him for statutory but I told him I'm a rape counselor and of legal age (which is 9 in Malaysia but I was really 35) and they let him go with nothing but a slap on the rear and Protease inhibitors (for safety's sake).
Years later, I'm still being carded, and I'm completely indifferent to the process!
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OH MY GOD that totally sucks!!!! I think this was after your time, but I was engaged to the Prince of Wales for a while. He gave me a 5.8 carat Tiffany diamond and I had already picked out my wedding dresses (one for the ceremony and one for each of 12 receptions that were to be held at castles and estates throughout many of Europe's most upscale countries, as well as a frothy little number for a brief meet-and-greet in Yap, Micronesia). Unfortunately, things were called off when I found out that his mother expected us to use her silver. It was an unacceptable pattern. I'm sure you can understand the potential ramifications that would have to any future political aspirations I might have!
Maybe if you're free later you could stop by the Foundation for Those Recovering From Unfortunate Exposure to Nightsticks or the Song “Strange Magic,” which I started while I was a sophomore in college at the age of 16 and also worked three full-time jobs but managed to earn a 4.0 GPA and make Dean’s List while also serving as President of the Future Young Wives of Royalty and/or Steve Buscemi club. I think counseling would make a big difference in helping you recover from what I'm sure are terrible repressed memories related to your Malaysia incident and might to this day result in your frequent, inappropriate sexual behavior with steroid and club-drug users, as well as members of a certain sorority that has as one of its symbols a weighty object that is on occasion used to secure seaworthy vessels in a specific location.