Advice on getting some stuff back...please! - Page 3

VandalSquirrel · #31 02-13-2006, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Slight hijack...

Lawyers aren't allowed in small claims court? I find that really odd. I agree that hiring a lawyer will probably cost you more than you are suing for. But I don't see why a lawyer would not be allowed in small claims court?

/hijack

I'm not sure exactly why they aren't allowed in small claims, but I'll try and find out for you. I think that it has to do with it being for lesser monetary amounts, and a way for people to settle disputes on their own in a more informal setting. There aren't objections, briefs written, cross examinations, or anything of the like. The cost of the lawyer usually is more than it is worth for going to court, and a lot of lawyers wouldn't even waste their time on it.

Where I live you don't even go to court right away, there is mandatory mediation, and allegedly 75% of cases end there. If you're in mediation, and no agreement can be reached, then you go to court the same day. I know if it isn't resolved to our satisfaction if it goes to court, we can appeal the decision to district court. Lawyers are allowed in district court, but not law students with a limited practice license (so no hiring a 3L with a retainer of a bottle of scotch and a pizza).

texas*princess · #32 02-13-2006, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
Whoa, Nelly! This situation has really touched a nerve with you. Are you a serial dress stealer or something??

Actually I kind of agree w/ PM. Yea they technically are her dresses, but the right time to get her stuff back is not a year later when she suddenly realized she might need them again soon. It was about a year ago when she still had the girl's phone number, knew where she lived, etc.

If it were me, I wouldn't wait that long... if I was having some kind of fall out with someone, I would get my things then and THERE. It's a little hard to go back a year later and be psycho calling everyone to get something back that she could have gotten a long time ago.

I also think that it is costing her a lot to get these back NOW. If she had done it back when they were fighting, she could have spoken to her mutual friends & said, 'hey we've been fighting, do you think you can help me get my things back?' instead of a year later calling the ex-boyfriend's friend's postman's daughter's cousin about speaking to the ex-friend to get her things back a year later...

... but that's just my opinion.. .and no, I'm not a serial dress stealer

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #33 02-13-2006, 10:38 AM

I just think it's a really immature way to go at this problem.

And honestly, right or wrong, if you leave your stuff with me for a year and I never hear from you about it? It's going in the trash. By that point I've probably forgotten it's even yours. And if I haven't, I'm assuming you're not coming back for it. My apartment is not a storage shed.

But then, when I loan out things that are important to me, I ask for them back. And I don't wait a year to do it.

dzrose93 · #34 02-13-2006, 11:04 AM

It wasn't as if AchtungBaby asked the girl to store them for her, though -- the girl borrowed them and didn't give them back. AchtungBaby isn't doing anything inappropriate by trying to get her property back. The person in the wrong is the borrower who failed to return them in the first place.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #35 02-13-2006, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
Yes, it is. But they're also:

(a) Not work $800 anymore, as they've been worn at least twice by two differen girls,
(b) At least a year old, and
(c) Making her look psycho to her friends, and possibly setting her up for additional legal problems in the future.

If you ask me, these dresses aren't worth it anymore.

She had the chance to get her stuff back a year ago; she passed on it. At this point it isn't about the dresses anymore. She needs to let it go because it's going to end up costing her more than she's probably willing to sacrifice.

She's not doing anything wrong.

However, I would disagree with you - she IS being inappropriate. Please reference the part where she's contacting mutual friends, trying to find the girl's parents, exboyfriends, etc.

AlphaFrog · #36 02-13-2006, 11:42 AM

Nevermind. It looked like you were arguing with your own post.

dzrose93 · #37 02-13-2006, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
She's not doing anything wrong.

However, I would disagree with you - she IS being inappropriate. Please reference the part where she's contacting mutual friends, trying to find the girl's parents, exboyfriends, etc.

You say tomato, I say tomahto.

What you view as inappropriate, I would describe as exhausting all available avenues. I agree that it would be better to contact the girl directly so as not to bring other folks into the mix, but from her posts it doesn't look like she's been able to reach the girl personally, hence the need for go-betweens. None of this would be necessary if the girl had just returned the dresses the first time that she was asked to do so. IMO the blame lies solely with the borrower.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #38 02-13-2006, 11:47 AM

Nope.

I'm saying, yes, it's her stuff, so technically she's not wrong to want it back.

But it's a little bizarre and inappropriate to go about getting it back the way she's decided to. A year later.

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #39 02-13-2006, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzrose93
IMO the blame lies solely with the borrower.

In my opinion, if these dresses were so important, the responsible thing to do would to be ASK FOR THEM BACK LAST YEAR.

Now she's turned into a psycho about the whole thing. Imagine this from the borrower's point of view: someone loaned you something OVER A YEAR AGO, never asked for it back, picked a fight with you over something, and now a year later she's trying to contact you, your boyfriend, your friends, and your parents?

I'd be getting a restraining order.

And I'd also have given the dresses away 6 months ago.

dzrose93 · #40 02-13-2006, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
In my opinion, if these dresses were so important, the responsible thing to do would to be ASK FOR THEM BACK LAST YEAR.

AchtungBaby would have to clarify this one for me, but I'm pretty sure, based on her previous posts, that she DID ask for them back last year.

It's hard for me to look at it from the borrower's perspective because, to me, she's the root of the problem. AchtungBaby wouldn't have to seek her out if she'd been responsible enough to return the dresses in a timely manner.

When I borrow something, I don't wait for the owner to ask me for the item back. I view it as my responsibility to return the item promptly. (And, in the cases of clothing, I would make sure that they were cleaned before their return.) Quite honestly, if someone had to ask for something back from me, I would be embarrassed.

pinkiebell1001 · #41 02-13-2006, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzrose93
AchtungBaby would have to clarify this one for me, but I'm pretty sure, based on her previous posts, that she DID ask for them back last year.

It's hard for me to look at it from the borrower's perspective because, to me, she's the root of the problem. AchtungBaby wouldn't have to seek her out if she'd been responsible enough to return the dresses in a timely manner.

When I borrow something, I don't wait for the owner to ask me for the item back. I view it as my responsibility to return the item promptly. (And, in the cases of clothing, I would make sure that they were cleaned before their return.) Quite honestly, if someone had to ask for something back from me, I would be embarrassed.

I completely agree with you! It's rude to not return something in a timely manner, even if you're not speaking to them- They let you borrow something that was of value to them, the least you could do is return it to them, no matter the situation!

I think she's in the right to try and get them back, it's not as if she just "left" them-she let the girl BORROW them-two completely different things. If you borrow something from a friend, it's YOUR responsibility to get it back to them!

texas*princess · #42 02-13-2006, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzrose93
AchtungBaby would have to clarify this one for me, but I'm pretty sure, based on her previous posts, that she DID ask for them back last year.

It's hard for me to look at it from the borrower's perspective because, to me, she's the root of the problem. AchtungBaby wouldn't have to seek her out if she'd been responsible enough to return the dresses in a timely manner.

When I borrow something, I don't wait for the owner to ask me for the item back. I view it as my responsibility to return the item promptly. (And, in the cases of clothing, I would make sure that they were cleaned before their return.) Quite honestly, if someone had to ask for something back from me, I would be embarrassed.

I agree & I am the same way.... =but= not everyone is like that.

I've had a couple of friends borrow things that forget.. sometimes work gets crazy, sometimes life comes up and returning a sweater or formal dress isn't the first thing on their "to-do" list. It doesn't hurt to give them a gentle reminder that they still have something that is yours.

Based on the previous posts, it sounded like she didn't try to get the dresses back until *AFTER* they had a fall out (which occured several months after the fraternity formal).

I think the person who lends their stuff also has some kind of responsibility in getting their stuff back if the person they lent their things to hasn't returned it in a reasonable amount of time. In the case of the dresses, it only takes a couple of days to get things dry cleaned, so if she didn't return them after a week or two, you might want to give a gentle reminder. A reminder "several months" later after there is a big fight seems kind of tardy. Plus, if she had been reminded a couple of weeks after she borrowed them, they were probably still friends then, and she probably wouldn't have ignored her.

AchtungBaby80 · #43 02-14-2006, 08:00 AM

Looks like I'll be getting my stuff back.

I managed to get in touch with the girl...I do have to go and get it myself, but at this point I don't mind doing that and besides, I have a friend in that area that I was planning on visitiing anyway so I can just kill two birds with one stone when I go over there.

For the record, this girl and I never actually fought. It was more like we just lost touch, but she never called me and never would answer the phone when I called so I assumed she was mad at me over something. I dropped by her house a few times last year to get my things, but she wasn't home and I never could reach her in order to find out when she'd be there. When we spoke earlier, she said that she had intended to drop my stuff off before she moved out of town but lost her cell phone so she didn't have my number anymore. I'm so glad I "went psycho" and started asking other people, because all it took was talking to a grand total of two people--once apiece--to get the information I needed.

dzrose93 · #44 02-14-2006, 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
Looks like I'll be getting my stuff back.

Yay!

Let us know when you have them back in your possession!