Quote:
Originally Posted by mystikchick
I will echo what others have said about speaking up about it, even if you never wind up reporting him. Drolefille listed a toll-free number, but you may also want to look into Take Back the Night events in your community (either on a college campus nearby or a wider community event) as a space to share your story and get it out there, or just to be around people who know what you've been through. It definitely helped a friend of mine who went through relationship rape. If you haven't already, please also get a medical exam done.
I am so, so sorry that you have to go through this, and I hope that you get the courage to report him and press charges. I'm not qualified as a counselor or anything, but if you ever want a friendly ear, don't hesitate. You're in my prayers.
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THANK YOU so much to everyone that responded, I know it was shocking for me to just post this and put it out there... I feel like if I name what happened, it's scary as hell but for some reason it's cathartic or something. I am going to go see someone, and again, thank you to everyone that has reached out by listening (reading) and by providing resources. I have decided not to report it. This has been a horrible decision, but considering the circumstances, it wasn't malicious, which is hard to believe, I know, but it wasn't. It's been two weeks, and any kind of medical exam (besides getting tested, because one thing I do know is that he didn't use a condom) would bring no evidence. I am going to counseling and I just want to work through this. However, another thing is that the more people I talk to about this, the more awful awful stories I hear (worse than my own, but I know it is all relative), it makes me sick to my stomach. I would like to work in a rape crisis center (not now, but eventually... down the road) and to talk to other women (and men) that have gone through this.
It's weird, like you always think you would know what to do in a situation, but it turns out, that when you are there, you really don't know. I literally take things day by day and hope that when I go to sleep the nightmares get a little better. I also have nightmares about what happened, but about other people, my friends, family and this happening to them. I don't trust men. I always had a comfortable relationship with men, things were what they were, I didn't try to contort reality. Now, I am mistrustful, I don't like people touching me except for my close friends hugging me or something. I guess I'm just evaluating everything around me because everything is so different. I've also started praying which for the first time in my life, seems like a good thing to do (I've always felt kind of uncomfortable about it...) and it's hard, but it's getting easier to do it.
again, thank you to everyone for being there for me, the fact that none of you know me, but I know are there for me, that is not something you find, and I need it more than ever.
You are all such amazing people.
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