Poll: Tell Now or Wait for the Big Day - Page 3

mattpike · #31 02-12-2004, 08:39 PM

if it would make him happy, wait. if it would stress him, best tell him now. but either way, congrats, and hope everything comes out ok.

James · #32 02-12-2004, 09:24 PM

Why wouldn't you wear letters lol? Whats the issue with that? Is it suddenly unladylike to be pregnant?

I know sorority girls can be a little clue .. . but where exactly do y'all think babies come from?

Rudey · #33 02-12-2004, 09:34 PM

Let me see if I am understanding this. Both sets of your parents aren't exactly excited about you getting married, so you're going to tell them you've been knocked up and will now be marrying?

Yeah. OK. I think I got it.

-Rudey
--This sounds awful...congrats!

James · #34 02-12-2004, 09:45 PM

Actually going to spring knocked-up, getting married, and moving to mexico lol . . hope they have strone hearts

Quote:

Originally posted by Rudey
Let me see if I am understanding this. Both sets of your parents aren't exactly excited about you getting married, so you're going to tell them you've been knocked up and will now be marrying?

Yeah. OK. I think I got it.

-Rudey
--This sounds awful...congrats!

James · #35 02-12-2004, 09:47 PM

Sweety thats not a surprise like you found money in your jeans or you got a cool gift. Thatsa surprise like your train derailed on the way to work, especially if you weren't specifically trying to get pregnant.

Quote:

Originally posted by alsparky
Congrats!!!

It is one of the few big secrets that a woman can spring on a guy...

If it were me, I'd want to wait, but I am the WORST at keeping surprises!!! It's why I don't Christmas shop until just before Christmas - otherwise I'd have given everyone their presents and ruined all the surprises!!

Good luck!

Allison

GeekyPenguin · #36 02-12-2004, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Why wouldn't you wear letters lol? Whats the issue with that? Is it suddenly unladylike to be pregnant?

I know sorority girls can be a little clue .. . but where exactly do y'all think babies come from?

Because she's still an undergrad in college and she's pregnant out of wedlock.

Even my liberal butt wouldn't wear letters then, out of respect to my founders and the ideals they had.

Munchkin03 · #37 02-12-2004, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Sweety, that's not a surprise like you found money in your jeans or you got a cool gift. That's a surprise like your train derailed on the way to work, especially if you weren't specifically trying to get pregnant.

James...truer words have never been spoken.

Given the circumstances, I would give it to him straight with no chaser. Now is not the time to be cutesy about it.

James · #38 02-12-2004, 10:02 PM

Why does it make her evil to be in that position? If she was married and preggers that would be cool?

Do you need to be married to ahve kids? It could have been artificial insemination . . . it wasn't in this case of course lol . . .

Its your property wear them . . .

Unless she should be wearing a scarlet letter?

A giant P

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Because she's still an undergrad in college and she's pregnant out of wedlock.

Even my liberal butt wouldn't wear letters then, out of respect to my founders and the ideals they had.

GeekyPenguin · #39 02-12-2004, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Why does it make her evil to be in that position? If she was married and preggers that would be cool?

Do you need to be married to ahve kids? It could have been artificial insemination . . . it wasn't in this case of course lol . . .

Its your property wear them . . .

Unless she should be wearing a scarlet letter?

A giant P

I think it's inappropriate. I won't back down from that stance. I see nothing wrong with MARRIED PREGNANT OUT OF COLLEGE ALUMNAE wearing my letters. I see something wrong with somebody in college and unwed doing it. To me, that's a moral issue. Don't like it, that's nice, moving on...

I also think that given the circumstances surrounding AlphaFrog's chapter, wearing letters while pregnant on campus would not be the best way to ensure her sorority maintains a positive image there.

sugar and spice · #40 02-12-2004, 10:04 PM

Y'all realize she's already told him, right?

As for wearing letters, it's entirely your call and I definitely wouldn't judge you for it, but know that there are people out there who would . . . and given our HQs generally have no-shacking policies it's pretty clear where they stand on associating premarital sex with letters.

AlphaFrog · #41 02-12-2004, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin

I also think that given the circumstances surrounding AlphaFrog's chapter, wearing letters while pregnant on campus would not be the best way to ensure her sorority maintains a positive image there.

My soroity has been closed for almost a year now...I don't really think i have to worry about image of that right now. (and there's really no chance of rechartering any time soon)

And when we get married I'll be about 2 months along and I doubt I'll be showing at all...and after that, I'm not pregnant out of wedlock and I am still undergrad, but at a campus with no chapter of my soroity and I am alum....

Tippiechick · #42 02-12-2004, 10:44 PM

I am pregnant, an alum that's a student again, and married... I still don't think it presents a positive image. There will be some people who will associate you with your sorority and won't know your circumstances. Just my opinion...

I know, though, that it has been more appropriate for me to hold off from wearing my letters. I have the rest of my life to wear them. Nine months of not wearing them hasn't been a huge sacrifice in order to keep ZTA in a "positive campus image".

So, James, to answer your question: No. I do not think it's cool to wear letters if you are still on campus and married. And, I have some experience in this area...

Even though the baby was conceived out of love, some people on campus or even off campus might see a pregnant woman in letters as simply being a slut. (Alphafrog, please don't think that this is the way we perceive your situation... I am just making a point to James' comment.)

In an age where we sorority women have trouble with being seen as anything more than the stereotypical twits, it would serve us all well to err on the side of caution.

And, you know I love ya, James, but I don't think this is an issue any male should be commenting on. A frat guy can "knock a girl up" and no one will be able to physically tell that they have a baby on the way. They can still wear their letters without worrying about their image.

So, I propose that all men stay out of this issue. lol.

GeekyPenguin · #43 02-12-2004, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tippiechick
I am pregnant, an alum that's a student again, and married... I still don't think it presents a positive image. There will be some people who will associate you with your sorority and won't know your circumstances. Just my opinion...

I know, though, that it has been more appropriate for me to hold off from wearing my letters. I have the rest of my life to wear them. Nine months of not wearing them hasn't been a huge sacrifice in order to keep ZTA in a "positive campus image".

Exactly. What if ASA wants to come back, and the administration or whoever remembers this?

You asked for an opinion, and I gave you mine. Some things just shouldn't be done in letters.

thetalady · #44 02-13-2004, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AlphaFrog
We are getting married in April (been planned for awhile, this is not a shotgun thing)

I realize that you didn't ask this question, but I am going to offer an unsolicited piece of advice anyway.

Please... for the sake of your child, go to the local JP and get married. NOW... not in April. Go get the license Monday and get married immediately.

If you inisist on doing some kind of ceremony for family in April, then fine, have the party. That's not what is important. What is important is what you look your child in the eye and tell her about how you lived your life when they are old enough to take Biology 101 and count to 9.

Please don't put off making a true commitment to each other and establishing a home for your child for the sake of a party.

Patti

valkyrie · #45 02-13-2004, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by thetalady
Please don't put off making a true commitment to each other and establishing a home for your child for the sake of a party.

Why is being married any more of a "true commitment" than anything else? Why can't two people who love each other establish a home for their family without being married?

AlphaFrog, I don't think there is any shame in wearing your letters while pregnant, married or not (I don't think that the married part is relevant at all). I would hope that your sisters and everyone else would support you.