Gay Black Male Website - Check it Out

[UpPinkies]

Originally posted by Marie
Here's a thought. In a previous discussion of homosexuality and downlow brothers, it was stated that the Black community was much less accepting of homosexuality than white communities. Someone said that this was a reason behind some of the dishonesty and secrecy. So maybe it is more prevalent in Black communities b/c men don't feel comfortable being "out" and gay. Maybe in white communities gay men are just gay men, so they don't have to hide that behind a straight lifestyle. Also, do you think that the # of black men who visit prison has anything to do with it? I can't imagine that you'd ever be right if you "crossed that line".

Marie

Maybe there is some truth to the black community being less accepting of homosexuality, I don't know. My uncle was gay (he died a few years back) and we, his family accepted him as he was. He was out and always had people up in his business. Like wanting to know who was his partner, people wanting to know if he was gay etc. I thinks AA gay men get to the point where peeps are all up in there business, that some try to hide it so they can live a somewhat private life. I know I got tired when people would question my uncle's sexuality and give me the fifth degree, or people just being really rude. I think in the black community some are so "interested" at all aspects of this lifestyle that it will never be fully accpted because it's different.

[darling1]

every community deals with individuals who are undercover when it comes to their sexuality. i believe that it is the conversations that are had, or not had that gives the perception as if one community is more accepting of it than another.

[DELTABRAT]

Uhm....I wouldn't necessarilyattribute this to culture per se, but it is known to be one of the main reasons that the incidence rate of HIV for Black women outnumbers any other race.

What is cultural is the amount of stigma attached to being gay in our community, which is directly affecting the inability of brothahs to be out of the closet. Please don't start with the "I have a gay friend" thing either. For each of us who "accept" homosexuality, there are like 30 folks who feel it is an abomination and would kick their sons out on the street before letting them admit and be gay.

A report was released today that New York has AIDS rates parallelling that in most Third World countries. Basically that means that roughly 1% of the population is living with HIV. Why, because many of the men are on the DL and continue to have sex with Black women. The stuff is real.

I was on the phone with my dad last night and he was like "what are these men on the low down?" I was like "down low pop" he was like "things sure are different." I was like "shole is."

Long story short, it isn't cultural to be gay but Black men have started this down low thing, which sorta means in the closet but the difference is the way the acts are carried out. So it's not like "I'm gay but only a few know." It's like "I'm gay but G-Money is my homie and my man AND we both still have girls at the house."

Who was the person who had personal accounts of several bachelor parties he'd been too where the men were "together" and the best man was the "BEST MAN!!!!" as well...unbeknownst to the wifey poo?

I wich a mutha_____ would!

[Lil' Hannah]

Originally posted by DELTABRAT
...but Black men have started this down low thing...

This is what I was wondering about. Thank you for your answers.

[delph998]

This is very, very scary. But that is why we have to let God bring the man into our lives. Easier said than done though.

[SummerChild]

Originally posted by Marie
Here's a thought. In a previous discussion of homosexuality and downlow brothers, it was stated that the Black community was much less accepting of homosexuality than white communities. Someone said that this was a reason behind some of the dishonesty and secrecy. So maybe it is more prevalent in Black communities b/c men don't feel comfortable being "out" and gay. Maybe in white communities gay men are just gay men, so they don't have to hide that behind a straight lifestyle. Also, do you think that the # of black men who visit prison has anything to do with it? I can't imagine that you'd ever be right if you "crossed that line".

Marie

Marie, I think that your post has alot of merit to it.
Also, yes, I do think that our increasing number of Black gay men does have to do with the prison population. Also, maybe it's just me, but many of the gay men that I am familiar with were sexually abused as young boys. An increase in sexual abuse of our children might also be a factor in increasing numbers. I am not interested in getting into the debate of whether homosexuality is learned or something that someone is born with, I am simply stating that in my experience, these men that are gay or bisexual have oftentimes had early experiences of sexual abuse. I don't think that it's weird to see the connection between sexual abuse and a sexual behavior - we also have a large segment of young girls who are very promiscuous and many of them were abused at a young age. At any rate, parents have to be more careful about leaving young children with adults, even uncles, and cousins. I know that when I was a young child, my mother would never leave me with a man besides my father. No grandfather, no uncle, no cousin. It wasn't happening.

Ok, sorry for the ramble. Marie, I agree with your post.

SC

[Senusret I]

None of the gay black men I know have been incarcerated, and very few were victims of sexual abuse.

Personally, I believe that what's "new" in this equation is HIV, and to a lesser extent, the internet.

The internet is allowing sexual minorities to form their own communities and enable contact in areas that were previously unheard of. A man who is not out of the closet no longer has to go to a gay club to meet a potential love interest. He meets them on gay websites of course, but also BlackPlanet, blackvoices, MegaGreek, GREEKCHAT....anyplace that there are men, there are men who sleep with men.

Conversely, women are able to communicate with each other through the internet better as well, increasing the "hype" about the phenomenon. I am not saying that women should not be careful, observant, and probing when it comes to their relationships -- they should be, because there are now fatal STD's out there that people can be bringing home.

But I do not feel that there is an explosion of black men who are in the life. They are just finding each in the same ways that society as a whole is finding itself -- through the internet. I don't think more black men will "come out" just because women want them to. But I do think women have a continued responsibility to be vigilant about their own lives, since clearly not everyone cares.

Not everyone on the DL lives a "double life"......that term originally was meant as a synonym for "discreet" not "double life." It was meant as a term for men who do not want to be spectacles, or have themselves made into spectacles. To avoid this, they remain in the closet in certain arenas: work, school, fraternity meeting, whatever. Some men date women at the same time, many do not.

I think the reason that this appears to be in crisis proportion is because of AIDS. As I said, prior to AIDS, I don't believe that any "symptom" of cheating was fatal and so even if a woman became infected with an STD, that didn't necessarily mean that her boyfriend/husband cheated with a man.

Anyway......I don't think that women should be riled up over a website that could be rife with stolen pictures. The world is smaller because of the internet, and perhaps it creates an environment that allows men of similar minds the opportunity to explore with each other sexually. But, the problem is those men who are not honest with their spouses. Not everyone who is discreet with their sexuality is dishonest about their sexuality.

And as far as so many gay men being masculine....that's because masculinity doesn't have anything to do with sexuality.

And those gay men who are attractive....hell, that's genetics.

[OthelloStreet]

I agree with everything that Senusret I said in his post. Being in the entertainment industry, I am surrounded by many "straight acting" gay men. At first, it used to bother me, but once I took the time to learn about their culture and what life is like for them, I understand it a little better.

I think the bigger problem is that we have both men and women who think they can "tell" if someone is gay or not and the truth is that is not the case. Many of these "down low" gay men don't want the world to know that they are gay; they want to live their lives as close to regular as possible. I know that there are gay/bisexual men mascarading as straight men, but guess what, there are just as many lesbian/bisexual women mascarading as straight women and causing just as much "chaos and havoc" as some of you say the down low men are doing for you.

I'm not defending the actions of gay men pretending to be straight because I think it is wrong... but I also don't think that a witchhunt should be conducted to hunt down every gay man. And remember, this is the internet so alot of those guys there probably don't look like the pictures that they post and they could be stolen.

[Eclipse]

I thought about this thread when I saw Fox's latest attempt at a reality show. AS I understand it, a single hetro woman is sent to choose from a group of men. Sounds familar, right? Well, you know Fox has a twist. The twist is that some of the men are straight and some of them are gay. If she chooses a gay man he gets some sum of money. If she choses a straight guy, they both get the money.

Wheeee.... Can't wait to see this one!

[feu_declipse]

Hasn't a show like this been done before?

ETA: the show Eclipse is referring to is called Playing It Straight.
The show I was thinking of was Boy meets Boy on Bravo where a gay guy had to choose from a pool of guys both gay and straight. The twist was the main guy did not know who was gay or straight.

[96sweet]

Does anyone remember this? Homosexuality was dealt with in the scripture...

Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed

1 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 "My lords," he said, "please turn aside to your servant's house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning."
"No," they answered, "we will spend the night in the square."
3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. 4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom-both young and old-surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."
6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."
9 "Get out of our way," they replied. And they said, "This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We'll treat you worse than them." They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door.
10 But the men inside reached out and pulled Lot back into the house and shut the door. 11 Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, young and old, with blindness so that they could not find the door.
12 The two men said to Lot, "Do you have anyone else here-sons-in-law, sons or daughters, or anyone else in the city who belongs to you? Get them out of here, 13 because we are going to destroy this place. The outcry to the LORD against its people is so great that he has sent us to destroy it."
14 So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry [1] his daughters. He said, "Hurry and get out of this place, because the LORD is about to destroy the city!" But his sons-in-law thought he was joking.
15 With the coming of dawn, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Hurry! Take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away when the city is punished."
16 When he hesitated, the men grasped his hand and the hands of his wife and of his two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the LORD was merciful to them. 17 As soon as they had brought them out, one of them said, "Flee for your lives! Don't look back, and don't stop anywhere in the plain! Flee to the mountains or you will be swept away!"
18 But Lot said to them, "No, my lords, [2] please! 19 Your [3] servant has found favor in your [4] eyes, and you [5] have shown great kindness to me in sparing my life. But I can't flee to the mountains; this disaster will overtake me, and I'll die. 20 Look, here is a town near enough to run to, and it is small. Let me flee to it-it is very small, isn't it? Then my life will be spared."
21 He said to him, "Very well, I will grant this request too; I will not overthrow the town you speak of. 22 But flee there quickly, because I cannot do anything until you reach it." (That is why the town was called Zoar. [6] )
23 By the time Lot reached Zoar, the sun had risen over the land. 24 Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah-from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities-and also the vegetation in the land. 26 But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

Now, I ain't looking back. I am engaged now, but you better believe, if I was married or dating a man that came out past or not... I AIN'T LOOKING BACK.

I know people choose to behave the way they choose to behave, and I won't be the one to persecute them, but guess what? I refuse to believe that it is okay. It is not okay. It is an abomination. It is dangerous... for the body, and the soul.

I went to the site, because I KNOW some guys that are playing that DL game. I was so disgusted that my stay on the site was not long at all. I recommend that tell your single lady friends to visit the site. Go to every state your man may have ever lived! Protect yourself. They protect their reputations as real men, but put your health and feelings in danger? That is unfair, and women need to be armed with EVERY tool at their disposal... including sites like this one.

Thanks for sharing...

[Honeykiss1974]

I saw a commercial for a show called "Straight Plan For The Gay Man". Has anyone else seen this and if so, is this really a show?

[ClassyLady]

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974
I saw a commercial for a show called "Straight Plan For The Gay Man". Has anyone else seen this and if so, is this really a show?

Yeah, this is a show on Comedy Central. They have already stated that it is a parody of Queer Eye. It's supposed to be straight guys making gay men more sloppy and more into the "regular guy" things, like beer, football, and strippers. It's not going to be a regular series. I think that there are only going to be four or five episodes.

[96sweet]

Is it popular to be gay now? I think I am either getting old, or not in anymore or whatever, but it creeps me out, I don't care what channel it is on or how "funny" or "trendy" it is!

[delph998]

I agree 96sweet. This is nothing that I would ever want to see. I have no children, but boy when I do, I'm going to have to do some serious censoring. The world, the world, the world...