Dirty Old Men

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I guess they don't want kids either. Let's say this guy marries at 45. He and his wife have kids a couple of years later, when he's 47. At 47, it's quite possible for a guy to begin to have health problems. The little boy/girl that they have may not necessarily have the same experiences growing up as the kid with a 30-something dad. He'll be 65 years old when the kid graduates high school and 69 when the kid receives his/her bachelors. He may not even live to see his kid marry. I just don't think it's all that good to marry too late.

Anyone can have health problem. I mean IO'm only 23...have no desire to get married any time soon. Plus I have health problems. I might not be able to have kids of my own. Does that mean no one will want to marry me?

Secondly, age isn't really a factor in deciding whether or not men can father children. Men of any age can father children. Whether thebe 25 or 95. It is however a facotr for women, that the older they get, the harder it is.

I don't know whether or not they want children, I have never discussed it with them. The only problem I forsee there is that if they don't get married till they're around 40 and their wife is around the same age and they want kinds, then it could be a problem. Or not, hell they could always adopt.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by James
Or they are henious lol . . lets face it a lot just has to do wih atractiveness.

If Richard Gere or an adam sandler hit on a 20 year old she might be more receptive. Hell if Jack Nicholson hit on a twentysomething she might marry him lol.

Hahahaha, yes attractiveness is a factor, but they're aren't ugly.

If Adam sandler hit on me I wouldn't be that receptive. He's just not that attractive. I don't care how much money he has. But that's just me.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Anyone can have health problem. I mean IO'm only 23...have no desire to get married any time soon. Plus I have health problems. I might not be able to have kids of my own. Does that mean no one will want to marry me?

Secondly, age isn't really a factor in deciding whether or not men can father children. Men of any age can father children. Whether thebe 25 or 95. It is however a facotr for women, that the older they get, the harder it is.

I don't know whether or not they want children, I have never discussed it with them. The only problem I forsee there is that if they don't get married till they're around 40 and their wife is around the same age and they want kinds, then it could be a problem. Or not, hell they could always adopt.

Just because a man can father children doesn't mean that he can be a kid's dad. A 35 year old first time father is more likely to be more physically fit than a 45 year old first time dad and is therefore more likely to be able to do "Daddy/Kid" stuff with his kid.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Taualumna
I'm 24, and I know from guy friends, who are in their mid 30s, that their moms are beginning to wonder why they aren't married.

I guess they don't want kids either. Let's say this guy marries at 45. He and his wife have kids a couple of years later, when he's 47. At 47, it's quite possible for a guy to begin to have health problems. The little boy/girl that they have may not necessarily have the same experiences growing up as the kid with a 30-something dad. He'll be 65 years old when the kid graduates high school and 69 when the kid receives his/her bachelors. He may not even live to see his kid marry. I just don't think it's all that good to marry too late.

I think your guy friends' moms need to step out of Pleasantville and realize plenty of people get married later in life or - gasp! - don't get married at all.

You can be a dad at 25 and in piss-poor health and die at 30...you can be a dad at 50 and the picture of vitality and live to see your kid's grandkids!! My company's chairman is, I think, around 55. He looks much younger, and if he came in tomorrow and said he was having a new baby, I don't think anyone would be overly shocked.

Even if the dad can't play baseball with his kid - so freaking what??? He can cheer him on, or he can appreciate that sports/athletics might not be something the kid wants to do. The role of a father is to love and support the child - saying you can't be a good father if you are physically not in top shape is a really, really, really messed up view of what a dad should be.

We had a similar debate on older moms but I can't find it (does anyone remember moving that thread? If so where is it? kthanx). At any rate, remember the phrase "marry in haste, repent at leisure"? It definitely applies here.

[Taualumna]

Actually, I'm in semi-agreement with the moms. I think mid 30s is the perfect time to "settle", and people really need to grow up and realize that they can't be 25 for the rest of their lives.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Actually, I'm in semi-agreement with the moms. I think mid 30s is the perfect time to "settle", and people really need to grow up and realize that they can't be 25 for the rest of their lives.

You're assuming that all these older single men are living like they are 25. Many are trying to establish careers, start business, make money. They would rather be financialy stable instead of starting a family in debt. My friend is getting married in June. She'll be 24. She wants to start having kids when she turns 25. I love her to death, but I think she's making a mistake. She has no money, no house (they live with her fiances parents) and she wants to start her own business. How is she going to have the time or the money to do all this?

[James]

Well we have all given our opinions. I guess the next question I would redirct to the people that are bothered.

Why exactly does it skeeve you out to see someone older flirting/hitting on someone younger.

Age is number and both are human beings . . .

If you see a 40 year old man flirting/hitting on a early 20's girl what goes through your mind . . . like what are the elements?

That way we can look at argue a little more specifically. Is kind of hard to argue against "nasty and wrong".

[Rudey]

My wife is in kindergarten right now.

-Rudey
--I picked her out the other day.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by Rudey
My wife is in kindergarten right now.

-Rudey
--I picked her out the other day.

That is so wrong and so funny!

I try not to judge people. Some people are ready to settle down, marry, and start a family at 20. Some are ready at 50. Some people just don't want that. I meet all types of people in NYC so I've seen all different scenarios. I figure live and let live.

My mother was 26 and my father was 35 when they married. My mother was a widow at 33 so you never know what can happen.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
You're assuming that all these older single men are living like they are 25. Many are trying to establish careers, start business, make money. They would rather be financialy stable instead of starting a family in debt. My friend is getting married in June. She'll be 24. She wants to start having kids when she turns 25. I love her to death, but I think she's making a mistake. She has no money, no house (they live with her fiances parents) and she wants to start her own business. How is she going to have the time or the money to do all this?

By the time you hit your mid 30s, you really SHOULD be in at least somewhat comfortable job.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Taualumna
By the time you hit your mid 30s, you really SHOULD be in at least somewhat comfortable job.

You've got a lot to learn about real life. Once you start living it, those "shoulds" and "musts" vanish pretty quickly.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by 33girl
You've got a lot to learn about real life. Once you start living it, those "shoulds" and "musts" vanish pretty quickly.

If these guys didn't spend so much time partying with 20-somethings, then just maybe, they'd have the money to settle.

[33girl]

I'm going to stop beating this dead horse...you obviously have a certain view of life and I definitely wish you luck finding someone who shares it, because you're going to need it....have a super day.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by 33girl
You've got a lot to learn about real life. Once you start living it, those "shoulds" and "musts" vanish pretty quickly.

This is very true.

I guess I am at an age where I "should" settle down, but I don't want to right now. I am happy the way things are, screw what other people think.

Originally posted by Taualumna
If these guys didn't spend so much time partying with 20-somethings, then just maybe, they'd have the money to settle.

Sister, remember that everyone finds their happiness in their own ways, even if it's not the norm.

Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make these people evil and I think it's unfair that you look down on them for it.

But then again this is coming from a girl who likes to date men at least ten years older so I guess I'm perpetuating this so nothing I say will matter anyway.