Question for guys regarding virginity

[Lady Pi Phi]

This thread reminds me of The Tragically Hip song.

"38 years old, and never kissed a girl..."

[RACooper]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
This thread reminds me of The Tragically Hip song.

"38 years old, and never kissed a girl..."

yeah but he was in prison....


Personally with me I'd have to say it's a case by case basis... i've met a few girls like this, and my ex was one. If they've never "clicked" with any of the guys they've met that's their choice and I have to say I respect it. If their saving themselves for the guy they marry thats also commendable in this day and age... but when you start getting freaky like some of the ultra-Christians on campus: no kissing or holding hands; that is too freaky for me.

[HBADPi]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Another question about waiting until marriage: What if you're still single at say, age 40? Wouldn't it be weird to be a 40 year old virgin? I know that I wouldn't be able to wait THAT LONG!

Reminds me of an episode of the Opie and Anthony show (anyone else listen to that? may it RIP). I know it was on in most big cities, probably on your alternative rock station. Anyways they had a 40 yr old virgin in one day and they got her a stripper...made for a pretty amusing show, I was driving home from work laughing the whole way.

[adduncan]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Another question about waiting until marriage: What if you're still single at say, age 40? Wouldn't it be weird to be a 40 year old virgin? I know that I wouldn't be able to wait THAT LONG!

I was 32 when I was married and a virgin until my wedding night. It was THAT important to me to only be that intimate with my husband and no one else.

Now that you have a real, live person saying this, and not just a hypothetical question, do you still want to call me or anyone else that thinks as I do "weird"?

People choose to be promiscuous and everyone shrugs it off. But when others choose to be chaste they're "weird". Doesn't sound too fair to me.....

--add

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I don't think that it is weird. It's a personal choice that worked for you and your husband.

[UKDaisy]

Originally posted by cashmoney
Its kind of fun being that guy that breaks a girl in. You can teach them all sorts of stuff. Before you know it, you'll have a sex crazed slut whos STD free......it doesn't get much better than that.

LOL...... but after you're finished with her.....its the game called "let's bring out the pyscho". She'll be emotional attached

[starang21]

unless i'm really trying to wife the girl...no, because that's a lot of baggage. plus being the first is strictly an ego thing. it's not like she'll do anything spectacular unless she's been living a double life watching a ton of porn.

[OtterXO]

Originally posted by UKDaisy
LOL...... but after you're finished with her.....its the game called "let's bring out the pyscho". She'll be emotional attached

Haha, that's so true!!!

[justamom]

It's easy to understand both situations.
LOTS of girls in HS didn't date. Maybe they were very conservative, maybe they just weren't ready. Some girls move faster than they want because of all the pressure and the mindset that "everyone else is doing it".

Then comes college. Many of the guys they meet have higher expectations from their dates than "she" has ever experienced.
Or, she may not meet anyone that makes her feel that desire.
LOT'S of girls don't date steadily in college. If, like many, she is asking friends to accompany her to functions, not having sex is totally understandable-be it for religious or personal preference.

So they graduate. It's a little harder to meet guys and the ones they do are just not appealing. What do you expect them to do?
Just "do it" to get it over with? Now, by this time, I would think they would have experienced at least a "kiss", but if not, so what
UNLESS-they take a stance that it is degrading, sinful, or only see it in a negative light. Same with Sex. If they do not judge others as "going to hell" for THEIR choices, then it doesn't appear to be a problem for them as much as it appears to be a problem for OTHERS. Everyone should be allowed to choose their own moral compass.

[James]

A lot of that has to do with how a woman looks also JAM. Men tend to view women on the dating field as a commodity. Its rare that an objectively aesthetically pleasing woman won't have an abundance of dating opportunities . .

That is of course modifed by her hang-ups and maybe her parental controls.

Originally posted by justamom
It's easy to understand both situations.
LOTS of girls in HS didn't date. Maybe they were very conservative, maybe they just weren't ready. Some girls move faster than they want because of all the pressure and the mindset that "everyone else is doing it".

Then comes college. Many of the guys they meet have higher expectations from their dates than "she" has ever experienced.
Or, she may not meet anyone that makes her feel that desire.
LOT'S of girls don't date steadily in college. If, like many, she is asking friends to accompany her to functions, not having sex is totally understandable-be it for religious or personal preference.

So they graduate. It's a little harder to meet guys and the ones they do are just not appealing. What do you expect them to do?
Just "do it" to get it over with? Now, by this time, I would think they would have experienced at least a "kiss", but if not, so what
UNLESS-they take a stance that it is degrading, sinful, or only see it in a negative light. Same with Sex. If they do not judge others as "going to hell" for THEIR choices, then it doesn't appear to be a problem for them as much as it appears to be a problem for OTHERS. Everyone should be allowed to choose their own moral compass.

[justamom]

I know you're right about that. I just didn't want to say it. Some girls don't blossom untill they are a little older. Just look at some of Hollywood's celebs in their HS yearbooks.

[kateshort]

Originally posted by adduncan
I was 32 when I was married and a virgin until my wedding night. It was THAT important to me to only be that intimate with my husband and no one else.

People choose to be promiscuous and everyone shrugs it off. But when others choose to be chaste they're "weird". Doesn't sound too fair to me.....

I think there's a difference, though, between waiting to have full-on intercourse and not doing anything more than just holding hands, or waiting until you're 25 with someone you've dated for years versus waiting because you've never gone out with anybody.

We didn't technically "do it" until our wedding night, partly due to religious reasons, but in the seven years that we dated we sure got close a number of times! Had fun but avoided pregnancy and STDs. He'd just turned 25 and I was almost 24.

And yeah, the "wedding night" was a little different, but it was nice, because I knew no matter how good or bad it would be, it was with my husband who loved me, and we could work on it to make it better together, and learn all of those new tricks together (yeah, baby!). No worrying about whether he was better or worse than other guys I'd slept with-- because I hadn't slept with other guys and hadn't even done most of the fun stuff with other guys either. I generally have no regrets, after being married over five years.

And yeah, I know I'm weird anyway.

[polarpi]

JAM, I think you hit the nail on the head!

I *am* the hypothetical person you were talking about. I never dated in high school, I went with friends to "functions" in college, and now I'm out of school and still have't met anyone that I'd be interested in dating. Does that make me a freak? To some, maybe. But to whomever I'm supposed to wind up with, I don't think so.

I personally don't know if when I do meet that man if I'll wait until our wedding night or not....I'd like to, but sometimes things may move faster than I expect it to right now in my life. It'll be interesting to experience the ride when it does finally begin.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by justamom
So they graduate. It's a little harder to meet guys and the ones they do are just not appealing. What do you expect them to do? Just "do it" to get it over with?

In the time since I graduated from college, I've had a few female friends who, after remaining virgins throughout their time at school--some had serious boyfriends, some dated casually, some not at all, basically did have sex just to get it over with; to them, it was as if their virginity was a burden of which to rid themselves. One of my old HS friends has pledged to lose her virginity before her birthday this year. Despite your age, you should have sex because you want to, not because you feel like it's just time to have sex already.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by UKDaisy
LOL...... but after you're finished with her.....its the game called "let's bring out the pyscho". She'll be emotional attached

Yea, no shit! Thats when you have to let out that crazy side of you that each person hides until their S.O. does something really bad. lol....trust me, its all about making her think you're crazier than her that way she'll leave you alone.