Ladies, beware your perfect nice guy

[Rudey]

Originally posted by xoheatherxo
rudey--first let me start off by saying that i think youre incredibly rude. just my opinion though. i think you misunderstood what i was trying to say before. to me, holding a door for someone is when you open the door and then step aside so the other person can go through. what you described before as holding it for the person behind you is not what i meant by holding a door. and how dare you assume that i hang out in low income sections of ny. maybe thats where you are all the time since you know so much about it! i thought these boards were to reply to stuff, not to put other people that you dont even know down. did you ever hear that saying if you dont have something nice to say?? maybe you should try it once in awhile cause this isnt the first time youve posted something like that!

Hey toots, I think you're rude for pretty much saying NY'ers are mismannered. I don't care what definition you like to use for holding a door, I've done it and it's been done for me. And for you to assume that people don't because you were born and raised there, it says that the people you associate with or are around are like that. You can come up with some sort of classification for those people and those neighborhoods - whatever makes you happy - but generally, the people I run into, the strangers going into a building, hold open doors and are very polite in NY.

-Rudey
--Maybe you're from Hunts point. Who knows? Who cares?

[Lady Pi Phi]

I don't care where you're from. There are rude people everywhere.

Rudy, it seems that you have been fortunate enough to not have encountered any rude people in New York.

But I know they are there.

[xoheatherxo]

Lady Pi Phi: i agree with you. there are rude people everywhere. and rudey: i never once said that nyers are mismannered--if thats even a word. i guess you live in your own little world where everyone is perfect and does everything the way you want it to be done. thats nice for you, but in the real world not everyone is like that.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
I don't care where you're from. There are rude people everywhere.

Rudy, it seems that you have been fortunate enough to not have encountered any rude people in New York.

But I know they are there.

Yes I know they're there too. Nobody ever claimed that every single person in NYC is polite. In fact, I made mention of sections in NY that probably have more rude people than others. Heck Heather runs into rude people all the time in NY and I claim she's rude for making that comment about NY. Hence, there are rude people everywhere, I never said there weren't, and your post was basically the equivalent of me saying "I'm breathing air."

-Rudey
--But thank you.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by xoheatherxo
Lady Pi Phi: i agree with you. there are rude people everywhere. and rudey: i never once said that nyers are mismannered--if thats even a word. i guess you live in your own little world where everyone is perfect and does everything the way you want it to be done. thats nice for you, but in the real world not everyone is like that.

You said "i was born and raised in ny, and except for those few times around the holidays, people rarely hold the door open for other people." That pretty much indicates that NY'ers are rude except on a few occasions around the holidays.

And no, not everybody is perfect in NY. Nobody claimed they were. You can try and step away from what you said and try and change what I said, but at the end of the day you said NY'ers were rude and I said it's the people and neighborhoods you're in.

-Rudey
--Hunts Point.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Rudey
Yes I know they're there too. Nobody ever claimed that every single person in NYC is polite. In fact, I made mention of sections in NY that probably have more rude people than others. Heck Heather runs into rude people all the time in NY and I claim she's rude for making that comment about NY. Hence, there are rude people everywhere, I never said there weren't, and your post was basically the equivalent of me saying "I'm breathing air."

-Rudey
--But thank you.

The way I interpreted your post was that you are saying that people in the area of New York where you work and live aren't rude, but they are where Heather is.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
The way I interpreted your post was that you are saying that people in the area of New York where you work and live aren't rude, but they are where Heather is.

Hindsight is 20/20 they say but you said "there are rude people everywhere." Nobody changed the meaning of everywhere did they? Nope I don't think so. Now back to your regular programming.

-Rudey
--Now off to eat chicken teriyaki just the way mom makes if my mom was a Mexican kitchen worker at a Japanese restaurant.

[lovelyivy84]

Good post James.

Also please note that being a nice guy does not mean being a wimp. Nor does it entail repeatedly informing everyone around you how nice you are.

Nice men can have backbones. Nice men can flirt. Nice men can EVEN be good in bed! Nice just means well-mannered and genuinely considerate of the people around you. That doesn't mean not arguing with them or giving in whenever someone disagrees, it just means being able to listen.

And most of the men I have known in my life who like to discuss how incredibly "nice" they are are no such thing. They are WHINERS who are searching for a reason why girls don't DATE them!

[AXJules]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84

And most of the men I have known in my life who like to discuss how incredibly "nice" they are are no such thing. They are WHINERS who are searching for a reason why girls don't DATE them!

I think this goes for alot of things.....those who are rich don't sit around and talk about how much money they have all day, those who are beautiful don't usually walk up to ppl and say, "Hey I'm hot, just so you know...."

If you have to tell me what you are/aren't and I can't tell, there's a problem.

[James]

This link to an old thread kind of goes with this one . . . and also goes with lovelivy's analysis of a nice guy:

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showth...ethically+nice

Especially look where I talk about ethically nice guys lol:

Actually here is the quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by James

There are also two basic kinds of nice guys:

1. "That guy" the nice guy cause he is secretly afraid of not being nice. ITs his strategy for being liked. This is the most common type of nice guy, and the one that gets dumped on, and the one the girls described as annoying.

2. The "ethically nice" guy. This is the most rare. He does The Right Thing because its the right thing. Not because he is afraid you won't like him or he is overly worried what you think. He'll treat you like a princess and at the same time will not put up with your shit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[James]

ttt

[Shima-Mizu]

Originally posted by James
This has to do with the way they were raised or their early influences.

............................

Thats not even an "upgraded male unit", thats the floor model. The upgraded male units are verbally expressive, caring, romantic, emotionally available, and have other skills and facets that make them intrigueing partners.

In that case, while yes he was raised the basic unit way... I definitly found myself an upgraded unit... :P

[DawnDZ]

Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
It's these no-bra-wearing, door-opening feminisits who ruined it for the rest of us...men aren't raised to do nice stuff anymore and they act put out if you expect it.

Sorry, sometimes the mouth runs away with me...

Its true though! If you hadn't said it, chances are I would have.

I give all guys a chance and I have met very few of the basic male units. Guys nowadays think they don't have to do that stuff. They think women want to be treated the way they treat their buddies.

Unless a guy thinks I am just a friend (and that is clear as day) I expect to be treated better then he would treat himself. It usually only takes a first date to know what kind of guy your with and whether or not you consider him dateable. Just because I woudn't date guys based on their date etiquette doesn't mean I wouldn't consider them to be a friend. I also believe in treating someone as you want to be treated, so I practice that rule in dating myself.

[Optimist Prime]

based on what most of you said, I would be an awesome boyfriend....

thanks greekchat b-rods

[DawnDZ]

Then you should start an etiquette school for men. The school of dating etiquette.... or clone yourself