my peeve

[Ali4Him]

It would be nice if everyone had your attitude. My mom was an alpha chi omega - I wasn't. I almost think it had to do with how I looked. Even though I was a legacy, I had the feeling that I was put in the "be nice to them" group. I never had the heart to tell my mom that the reason I didn't join was because they dropped me. I just ended up not joining any. Later on, one of my friends asked me to their informal rush. It was a great group of girls who were really close. Yes, the house was one of the farthest, but with the girls.....you got what you saw. I decided to pledge. It turns out that they were told to not activate us, but they did anyway. Less than a year after I was activated, I was an alumne and asked to not wear the letters. The national chapter had decided to reorganize the house. Now I see that the U of I doesn't even have this house anymore........go figure. I joined this today to find out what had happened to the house. Anyway, take care. **Oh, SAI - do you participate in the regular rush at your campus? Isn't SAI mostly music? It's been a while; maybe I have it wrong. I don't believe they had a house at the U of I. Matter of fact, I thought you could join SAI as well as a social. OK, don't take me wrong here.....this is just a question. I was a music major and it would have been neat to have actually had a house.

[squashfly3]

[I think a lot of this is just a spin off of competition. If everyone was happy in their situation, you wouldn't have all this turmoil.

I see it from adults, I see it from young men and women. But <WHY is it that women attack each other so brutally?>
Sometimes it's like beating a drum. If I SAY it enough, people will believe it! We are the best, we are the prettiest, you stink!
Gee if I had a dollar for every incident of this nature... It NEVER ends. Grade school kids compare their parents and then the cycle continues to comparisons of YOUR children's accomplishments and YOUR success in life!

The happiest people I know-and I am one-do NOT allow themselves to be pulled into a competition and believe me, people TRY to suck you in so they can have something or someone to compare themselves to. They try to create a Utopia where there is NONE! So, what does this have to do with the thread? People who put others down are NOT happy people. They are not confident people. They are actually scared and unsure of themselves. Otherwise, they wouldn't have to keep reminding themselves (and others) how "great" they are. It would be reflected in their LIVES!

THIS IS NOT TO SAY YOU SHOULD BE COMPLACENT IN THE FACE OF LIES OR INNUENDO.

It reminds me of the movie Revenge of the Nerds. There are so many more of us who are open, compassionate, successful people compared to that small, "self selected" group of idiots (GLO OR GDI) who make blanket statements about other individuals or groups. Are YOU (universal) empowering them? Are YOU perpetuating the myth? What would happen if 14 of 16 sororities grouped together and said, "Numbers 15 and 16 sucks."? Why do you allow numbers 15 and 16 to say "1, 2, and 3 are crap." I guess I'm too proud and bullheaded-I would NEVER let it slide, I'd move heaven and earth to prove it was BS- AND I HAVE in many instances, though it wasn't easy!
If you don't believe you have the very best situation in the world, why would ANYone want to jump on the wagon with you? If you SAY another group is stronger, bigger, better, YOU are beating the same drum THEY are!

There will always be judgments by those who see you as choosing a DIFFERENT path.
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I chose the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference." Frost

Success in life is how you are judged by those you love, NOT the opinions of people who have nothing to do with your life.

I totally agree with this...we are in constant competition with everyone...we always follow the stronger group...what they say goes...but not to be harsh..is this not what we have been taught? society only accepts the beautiful, the brightest, the best...we must be the best to be accepted. that is what creates this comepitition..it's society...we just feed into it.

[SigEp_Stud]

As for my organization, we don't take nothing but the best, meaning you got to have personality, charm, good looks and somewhat athletic. If you don't meet any of the above, you won't get a bid.

I know this is true in some sororities as well, where you won't catch a non attractive girl there, such as DG, they're all beautiful and not just a coincidence, that's part of the criteria the new members have to meet.

it's true, dont' deny it.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by Lunarwolf
We don't discriminate on looks, but when a girl is about 250 lbs at 5 foot 4, I start worrying about how well they take care of themselves, because while there's no one ideal weight (I'm 'overweight' myself, whatever that means), there is an extremely unhealthy weight. Well, maybe that's discrimination, too.

Well what if this girl is an emotional overeater and she eats because she is lonely and all she wants is a group of close friends. Maybe if she was able to be a part of a sisterhood she would be able to lose the weight because she would have the support and friendship she was looking for.
I read your other post and you said that you're sisters called you "mom". I'm glad you're concerned for you sisters well being, and that's great. But it doesn't make any sense that you would turn away an overweight girl because you were concerned about her. "I'm sorry, you'd make a great sister but we can't have you be a part of our house because we're concerned about your health." How odd does that sound. I would think if the chapter thought she would make a great sister you would welcome her with open arms and say something like "welcome to the chapter. We're really glad you here. A couple of sisters and I are going to work out next week then try this new healthy recipie I found. Why don't you join us". You might find that all this girl needed was a friend who cared to get her going to getting down to a more healthy weight.

[sairose]

Originally posted by Ali4Him
**Oh, SAI - do you participate in the regular rush at your campus? Isn't SAI mostly music? It's been a while; maybe I have it wrong. I don't believe they had a house at the U of I. Matter of fact, I thought you could join SAI as well as a social. OK, don't take me wrong here.....this is just a question. I was a music major and it would have been neat to have actually had a house.

Hey girl!!

SAI is a music fraternity for women. It is open to instrumentalists and vocalists, music majors and non-majors alike. SAI does not participate in social sorority RUsh; we hold our own, seperate Rush, and our Rush is FAR less stressful and everything than regular rush.

And yes, you can join SAI and a social. We currently have a sister who is also a Delta Zeta, and we had one who just graduated who was also in Delta Sigma Theta.

Did you have SAI at your school? You're welcome to reply here or PM me if you want.

[Shine]

Originally posted by Lunarwolf
I know that there are those whose medical history really does make it hard to lose weight. It's the ones who are clearly overweight and who complain about it all the time, yet do nothing to show they're doing anything to deal with it by therapy or exercise that really bother me.

But how would you know which type of overweight person a woman is during the short time you get to know her during rush?

Would you be able to tell if she's the type that, despite working out and eating right, is overweight due to an underlying medical condition?

On the flip side, would you be able to tell if she's overweight because she stuffs her face with McDonalds and never gets up off the couch?

You wouldn't be able to tell, and you could be passing up on a great girl just because you think she may fit into the latter category.

[Shine]

Originally posted by SigEp_Stud
As for my organization, we don't take nothing but the best, meaning you got to have personality, charm, good looks and somewhat athletic. If you don't meet any of the above, you won't get a bid.

I know this is true in some sororities as well, where you won't catch a non attractive girl there, such as DG, they're all beautiful and not just a coincidence, that's part of the criteria the new members have to meet.

it's true, dont' deny it.

But apparently you don't "got to have" good grammar skills or a sense of tact.

[DeltaSigStan]

Don't be talkin bout my homeboy like dat, cause I ain't tryin to get into no shiet, got it Sarah?

[uwwsweetie]

Originally posted by Shine
But how would you know which type of overweight person a woman is during the short time you get to know her during rush?

Would you be able to tell if she's the type that, despite working out and eating right, is overweight due to an underlying medical condition?

On the flip side, would you be able to tell if she's overweight because she stuffs her face with McDonalds and never gets up off the couch?

You wouldn't be able to tell, and you could be passing up on a great girl just because you think she may fit into the latter category.

You would be able to tell by how she carry's herself. Does she dress in clothes taht in anyway compliment her body type or does shejust put whatever fits off the rack on her body? Y ou can tell a lot aboutpeople by how they carry themselves.

[Tom Earp]

Once upon a Time:

There was a boy named Tom. He was young, slim, trim, clear blue eyes!

But as age and life catches up all goes to hell!

Now, some of the Pretty boys look like hell and some of the Do Rans Look good and have $$$$$$$! Yea for them!

Today is not tomarrow!

[sairose]

Originally posted by SigEp_Stud
As for my organization, we don't take nothing but the best, meaning you got to have personality, charm, good looks and somewhat athletic. If you don't meet any of the above, you won't get a bid.

I know this is true in some sororities as well, where you won't catch a non attractive girl there, such as DG, they're all beautiful and not just a coincidence, that's part of the criteria the new members have to meet.

it's true, dont' deny it.

It's NOT always true. It is NOT true with SAI, or many other GLOs.

I'm sorry your "brotherhood" is so shallow that you can't look beyond the surface and accept a guy for who he is and get to know him. I'm sure you're passing up some awesome potential brothers by doing this.

And as far as a sorority on a campus that the criteria to join is being beautiful...if I knew a sorority had this policy, I'm sorry, but I wouldn't even consider joining.

Sorry, but you don't have a CLUE what REAL brotherhood and sisterhood is all about. I can't speak for what Sig Ep stands for, but in SAI, we believe in LOVE. As in loving our sisters for the wonderful, special people they are, NOT for how pretty they are, rich they are, thin they are, etc. Too bad you can't do the same.

[sairose]

Originally posted by uwwsweetie
You would be able to tell by how she carry's herself. Does she dress in clothes taht in anyway compliment her body type or does shejust put whatever fits off the rack on her body? Y ou can tell a lot aboutpeople by how they carry themselves.

That's not necessarily true. Some girls just don't really care about clothes that much.

I think a few of you are not thinking of something. Girls that are fat because of cumpulsive eating are LONELY, nine times out of ten. And a sorority could be the best thing in the world for them. I speak from experience. I used to be a compulsive eater, and because of it, I was 60 pounds overweight. I was lonely and depressed. ANd then SAI came along...and they loved me anyways! I'm so glad they didn't look at my weight as a factor in giving me a bid.

And, uwwsweetie, this makes me ask again: what does it MATTER that a potential new member is overweight?

[33girl]

Originally posted by SigEp_Stud
As for my organization, we don't take nothing but the best, meaning you got to have personality, charm, good looks and somewhat athletic. If you don't meet any of the above, you won't get a bid.

I know this is true in some sororities as well, where you won't catch a non attractive girl there, such as DG, they're all beautiful and not just a coincidence, that's part of the criteria the new members have to meet.

it's true, dont' deny it.

nooo, dude. please open your teeny tiny closed mind. there IS a world outside Gainesville. I'm sure there are some butt ugly DG's (just as in every other NPC) and believe me, I know some Sig Eps that wouldn't even walk past the gym let alone do anything athletic. maybe that is the way your chapter is, but your org is a helluva lot bigger than your chapter. If you can't realize that and can't accept your brothers from other schools that aren't "the best" in your shallow view, maybe you should resign your membership.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by sairose
It's NOT always true. It is NOT true with SAI, or many other GLOs.

I'm sorry your "brotherhood" is so shallow that you can't look beyond the surface and accept a guy for who he is and get to know him. I'm sure you're passing up some awesome potential brothers by doing this.

And as far as a sorority on a campus that the criteria to join is being beautiful...if I knew a sorority had this policy, I'm sorry, but I wouldn't even consider joining.

Sorry, but you don't have a CLUE what REAL brotherhood and sisterhood is all about. I can't speak for what Sig Ep stands for, but in SAI, we believe in LOVE. As in loving our sisters for the wonderful, special people they are, NOT for how pretty they are, rich they are, thin they are, etc. Too bad you can't do the same.

Ditto to this...and SigEp_Stud, seriously, simmer down. You've got "unattractive" brothers and "dorky" brothers and you are making a great fraternity out to be jerks.

[dzsaigirl]

I think there are different ways to think of this.

I think that our society is still immature. Fortunately, many people have outgrown ignorance and intolerance. Unfortunately, some haven't.

The obvious intolerance would be that of racism. We have come a long way, but still not far enough. Even religious intolerance has come quite far, yet still people showed their ignorance after 9-11.

But one form of hate that is almost still considered "safe" or "acceptable" by society is that which is directed towards overweight people. I am not one. I am a small girl. But one of my best friends from waaaaaaaay back in grade school, and from church is extremely overweight. She always was, from childhood. And she ate better than I did! At her house, even a dolop of ketchup was measured, to control calories for her whole family, who all have weight issues. She cannot help it. She is an amazing woman and friend. She is one of the coolest people I have known and definitely one of the funniest!

When she went to college, she majored in music (just like me) and found a wonderful sisterhood in Tau Beta Sigma. The stories she tells!! She had a great time! With people who love her for who she is!

So I think about this. Would she have gotten into a social sorority if she had rushed an NPC? I dunno. And that makes me pissed! I think that groups are willing to take an overweight girl. The catch is: They are not willing to risk showing others that they would!

"If we invite her back, then all the rushees will look and say, 'this sorority's rushees are not as cute as the ones in the other parties I went to'. And then the guys might not invite us to have mixers...and you KNOW what happens to sororities who have little or no mixer bids....." blah, blah, blah...

I think that SUCKS!!!!!! Anyone looked at your alums lately? Are they all Miss America? Probably some of them are....*gasp* FAT!!!!!!!

Anyone looked at yourselves lately? OMG, some of you are overweight too!

And I don't even want to get into how many people I know have had lipo, breast jobs, nose, ears, you name it!

Why can't we just all be who we are and love each other and not care about what others think!?

I am getting a little rambley in my post, so I will close by saying that the panhellenic creed (a creed for ALL NPC orgs) says nothing about size dammit!

That is all...