A Question for everyone

[KappaStargirl]

When KappaStarboy and I get married I'm taking his name. I have never cared for my last name and am looking forward to changing it. I'm debating on the whole maiden-name-as-middle-name bit. My mom did that: when she got married, she decided to become Jane Smith Jones instead of Jane Mary Jones (not her real name, of course), but that was because she couldn't stand her middle name. I like my middle name and it sounds good with KStarboy's last name.

I also have a first name that is a common last name (think Harrison Ford). So if I go with the maiden name as the middle name it'll sound like I have three last names. Then again, there are lots of people that sound like they have three first names (for example, Joshua Alan Ryan), so what's the big deal?

I dunno but I think I should decide before I send stuff out to be monogrammed, heehee. I just started my profession less than a year ago, so the professional name thing is not a concern.

[navane]

Ok, call me old-fashioned or whatever, but I would take my husband's last name. The exception, of course, is if it somehow sounded really bizzare with my first name or something. I'm not too worried though - my boyfriend has a wonderful last name that sounds very nice with mine.

Perhaps I don't mind taking a man's last name due to the fact that my father thought ahead when I was born.

First though, let me explain that my family is Polish. My dad's family name is one of those fancy Polish "_______ski" names. When my dad was a boy, his father shortened the name to something people could pronounce! In the 1940s, it wasn't necessary to obtain court documents in order to change a name. Grandpa just went and stared using a shortend version of our family name.

My dad is the oldest son; he has two sisters. Therefore, it was up to my dad to have a son in order for the family name to be kept alive. I have one older sister. When she was born, my dad saw that she was a girl and decided that he better throw in the long Polish family name in after her middle name just to be safe (in case he never had any boys.) Then, three years later, I was born - another girl! So, he did it again.

Now, I actually never knew that. I always thought my full legal name was:

"Kelly Middlename ShortLastname."

But, when I came across my birth certificate a few years ago, I was surprised to see that my actual birth name is:

"Kelly Middlename Polishfamilyname ShortLastname."

I was just tickled pink! I love my heritage and I think it's great that my family's name will survive even though marriage will affect the process. I will continue what my father started. I will take my married name and, when I have children, they will be "Firstname Middlename Mom'sPolishfamilyname MarriedlastName."

All of my documents, driver's license, diplomas and stuff don't have my Polish family name on it so it's all good. It'll just be there silently in the background. Someone mentioned that women taking on married names messes up genealogy. I don't think that's the case. Genealogy is one of my hobbies. I find that it's actually easier sometimes to trace the movement of a family when there are married names there to help group people into branches. Either way, my father came up with a way to solve both problems!

......Kelly

[Optimist Prime]

That was me Taking married names doesn't mess it up. What messes up tracking things is when you leave off names.

[SoTrue1920]

Originally posted by RubberSoul

I guess I am a traditionalist but I am always a bit suspicious of women who won't take their husband's name. How would you want people to address things to you? To the Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones family? Or are you even a Mrs.? Do you go by Ms.?

I go by Ms., even though I'm married. Ms. doesn't specifically mean unmarried female (that's what Miss is for), it just means adult woman of a certain age.

[Tom Earp]

So True, what is that certain Age? If you do not mind me asking?

[FuzzieAlum]

Traditionally, Miss was an unmarried female and Mrs. was a married female, no matter the age. But that has definitely changed over the last century. Now Miss means "girl" and Mrs. means "married" and Ms. means "men's titles aren't defined by their marital status, so why should mine be?" (or if you're less of a die-hard liberal than me, "I'm over 21 and my marital status isn't any of your business").

I don't know that there's a magical age at which one stops being a Miss, but I would personally say college graduation, assuming one graduates around 21-ish.

[SuperSister]

I have definitely decided to drop my maiden name. My last name is ZZZZZZZZZZ . . . . long and German. Not to mention the fact that my current initials are EEZ . . . imagine that one once you hit middle school. When my hunny and I get married I am keeping my middle name for 2 reasons. 1) I really like my middle name and 2) if I move my last name to my middle name my initials will then be EZA . . . and considering I will be a teacher I don't want those initials following me around, it would just be weird.

Emmi

[Optimist Prime]

I heard some where that Miss now means you are trying to be prissy.

[aephi alum]

When I got married, I took my husband's name. I had always thought that I would hyphenate, but my sweetie's name was just too darn long. (LOL) I wound up taking my maiden name as a second middle name.

Socially, I go by Ms. Hisname. I'm not too bothered if someone says Mrs. Hisname, but if they keep it up, I correct them. I insist that my first name be somewhere in there... I have a perfectly good first name of my own, thank you very much If someone addresses a wedding invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast, I send back the reply card reading Mr. Hisfirst and Ms. Myfirst Hislast, or something of that sort.

The only thing that really angers me is when I get something addressed to "Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast." (Not Mr. and Mrs., just Mrs.)Like I said, I have a perfectly good first name of my own!

I believe each couple should decide together what to do about their last names - whether she takes his name, he takes her name, she hyphenates, he hyphenates, they both hyphenate, they make up an entirely new last name, whatever.

[lilsnakeyk]

-Lil Snakey K

[volgirl2376]

Im old fashioned - I will take my husbands last name.

[cougar15]

If I ever get married I am taking my husband's name. I am an only daughter so my brothers will pass the name on. Won't do the thing of making my current last name my middle either because my actual middle name is a family name with a lot of meaning. So as for the kids they will go by his last name as well.

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by maggieaxid
I am taking my fiance's name, well half of it. He, himself, has a hyphenated last name, and I am just going to take the traditonal father;s side last name, and we decided thats what we would do for our kids. Plus, i am not hyphenating my extremely hard to spell and very long last name with two others!

Alas arises an issue . . .

I played hockey with a kid, let's call him David Smith-Jones . . . mother took a hyphenated name, after a divorce he ended up (legally) with her last name. Now, if he gets married, does the woman take the hyphenated name? Her own? Add a third, and hyphenate the whole damn thing?

Gets tricky about that point - so I guess the point is, do what you want, but you might have to make bizarre decisions later on, and names aren't that hard to change - just gets funny.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I like my last name. If I ever meet the future Mr. Cream, then I will consider taking his last name if I like it. Maybe a hyphen. So far no Mr., so no problem.