Dealing with mean PNM's

[33girl]

RFM has been fab for those middle chapters that may have had a hiccup or two, or else just didn't seem to stand out. PNMs get released from the superstar chapters and then give the middle chapters a look.

RFM doesn't work when a chapter has to invite everyone back. I'm sorry, but in cases where you are being told you have to invite women back who were downright abusive to you, it's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. It's a sad commentary on the Greek system, but often the bottom chapter is there because they ARE the most open to all kinds of people who don't meet the sorority stereotype and give them a chance. So think about it. What does it take for that chapter to cut someone?

And like cg said, there are chapters who have no Panhellenic spirit and could care less if one of their new pledges was a complete bitch to everyone except them.

ETA: if there's true Panhellenic spirit, reporting a PNM can work, but I also can envision cases where it would backfire terribly on the sorority.

Perhaps the solution is a "reverse dance party" where all the rude PNMs get taken to a room while everyone else socializes. (Kidding) (but kind of not)

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I think the solution wouldn't even be that you have to remove rude PNM's, just that you have to make them *think* they would be removed. The threat, properly handed down, would be good enough.

(BTW, I know I had at least one foot-in-mouth moment during a rush party...I'm not talking about yawning or saying something dumb, but if women are truly texting during parties, that's ridiculous)

[ladybug12]

Going back to the origional post, I would advise you to contact your national/area membership officer to start a dialogue about this issue. Know your numbers and statistics. Open up a discussion to the possibility of a limited number of releases...sometimes getting to release just a few PNMs gives the chapter more confidance.

And also have a plan of action to offer: having a snap bid list for Bid Day or solid COB list in order to reach quota quickly after recruitment in return for the priviledge of obtaining permission to over-release a set number of PNMs.

You may get permission, or you may not. But it is worth a try.

And great advise is given in this thread about how to deal with rude or crying girls....believe me, we all have them from time to time.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ladybug12

And also have a plan of action to offer: having a snap bid list for Bid Day or solid COB list in order to reach quota quickly after recruitment in return for the priviledge of obtaining permission to over-release a set number of PNMs.

ALL chapters should have a list at ALL times of women who are possible members....including upperclassmen and women who for whatever reason didn't go through formal rush. That woman who knows most of the sisters will blend in more seamlessly than a girl who you had to pull teeth to get her to have a conversation.

And yes, EVERY chapter should do this...I don't care if you made quota plus for the last century. You never know what might happen.

[jolene]

Originally Posted by Aloha123

Finally, I just have to say, who are these PNMs - who raised these young women to have no manners or class? If I ever found out my daughter or any of her friends treated people this way I would go thermonuclear!

PREACH, Aloha! I'd give my little legacy (she's only 10 right now) a come to Jesus moment. Our goal is to raise a polite, kind, independent and intelligent lady. If I got word of her being nasty to someone (same goes for now in elementary school as well in the future), she'd get a BIG BIG talking to. Who is raising these girls? Coyotes? Yikes. Kudos to the poster who mentioned that saying the phone is a taboo item during recruitment. I was a Rho Chi my last semester at school. I'd give a smackdown to any of my gals if I got word of them being nasty. Thankfully, I got blessed with sweethearts and so did my best friend who was in a different sorority.

I must be a dunce, but what does RFM stand for?

[AZ-AlphaXi]

^^^^ RFM = Release Figure Methodology. The NPC recommended system for
figuring number of invitations per chapter per round in formal recruitment.

https://www.npcwomen.org/resources/p...ate%202014.pdf

[thecon]

Hey all. Sorry to resurrect an old thread but I just wanted to update everyone. We're nearly done with our fall recruitment and I'm super excited to report that from the second to the thIrd day we had a very very high return rate for the first time in ages. It's too soon to tell yet but we worked super hard and might have pulled off an amazing fall formal.

Also our new advisor allowed us to make cuts and advocated for us to be able to get rid of girls that were downright rude, right out of the gate. Which made everyone more enthusiastic and happy. My sisters (for the most part) felt like they actually had a little say which made all the difference in the world.

[33girl]

So, so happy to hear you have someone in your corner who GETS IT. Here's hoping for a fabulous NM class!!

[KDCat]

That's great news! So happy for you and your chapter!

Have a great recruitment and a good fall!

[DubaiSis]

That's great! And a little success will help all of the issues. There may still be girls who don't want that house but if SOME girls are happy then others will be at least more open to giving you a shot. And with that you're allowed to make more cuts, and in just a few years you are right in the middle of the pack. I've seen it happen more than once!

Let us know how it ends up!

[howdy96]

I'm surprised to hear some of this! At Texas A&M, phones are forbidden on the row all week, and if you're rude in a house, you WILL be dismissed from recruitment.

[APhiLife]

Love hearing a positive update!

[thecon]

Hey all. I wanted to wait a few weeks because I was pretty bummed out. We got a sizable new member class, but a lot of them didn't even show up to bid day. It was pretty rough, because on the row our house is between two "top" houses. Seeing their new member classes literally run to them was super exciting, until ours came down the hill and was so tiny. We've had really good retention of the women that gave us a chance, but morale is definitely low with the actives. We're working hard through COB and many of our new members are wonderful, excited and active thus far. But it is a little frustrating. Hoping that through fall and spring COB we can get back where we need to be and be in a good position for next formal recruitment. ^^ thank you for all the advice. I'm considering running for PR or Recruitment chair in the future and it was wonderful to hear from everyone who's got more experience in this.

[DubaiSis]

It's a slow process. You'll get there but it may take a couple years. Give your new members the best possible experience and they'll attract friends. Any luck at working on the girls who declined their bids? I don't know if that's a good strategy or not but a few girls might be regretting their flounce.

[33girl]

Forget the flouncers. The only "work" to do on them is to make sure they know through the campus grapevine that the girls who stayed are having a wonderful, supportive and life-changing sisterhood experience - which they threw away because they didn't get "top tier." If they want it, they need to come begging to you, not the other way around. Plus nothing will make you guys look more desperate than chasing after people who you invited to your home and were rude enough to not even show up and give it a try. Take Cee-Lo's advice on this one

We say to PNMs - the houses that dropped you during rush don't exist any more, the only ones that exist are the ones you still have left. It works both ways. Love and cherish the NMs who are enjoying being there, and they will let their friends know, and so on, and so on. You need women right now who want YOUR sorority, not just A sorority. Good luck!!