Dealing with mean PNM's - Page 3

AZTheta · #1 04-28-2015, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griffins&Quills

But isn't that how things were before RFM where the weak/less desirable chapters had no one showing up to their parties and struggled with numbers and ultimately had to close? Isn't that why RFM was created in the first place?

Sidenote: by looking at the NPC recruitment and chapter listing thread, I have noticed that at a lot of campuses, there's still 1 chapter that's taking significantly less than quota. I thought RFM was supposed to fix that?

RFM doesn't "fix" everything.

Read over what I wrote, and see if you can follow my logic. I'm thinking that those PNMs will be kicked completely out of the system early on.

clemsongirl · #2 04-28-2015, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZTheta

RFM doesn't "fix" everything.

Read over what I wrote, and see if you can follow my logic. I'm thinking that those PNMs will be kicked completely out of the system early on.

I don't know that it would work that way. I know girls who went through recruitment with me who were downright MEAN to some chapters-I even thought "wherever I land, I hope she's not my sister" just based on how they said they behaved during the party-and they got their first choice of bids from very competitive chapters. I think this is a case where you can't necessarily trust the system, and it's just better to remove girls who are reported for being rude entirely.

AZTheta · #3 04-28-2015, 12:40 PM

^^^ point well made and taken.

33girl · #4 04-28-2015, 12:59 PM

RFM has been fab for those middle chapters that may have had a hiccup or two, or else just didn't seem to stand out. PNMs get released from the superstar chapters and then give the middle chapters a look.

RFM doesn't work when a chapter has to invite everyone back. I'm sorry, but in cases where you are being told you have to invite women back who were downright abusive to you, it's better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. It's a sad commentary on the Greek system, but often the bottom chapter is there because they ARE the most open to all kinds of people who don't meet the sorority stereotype and give them a chance. So think about it. What does it take for that chapter to cut someone?

And like cg said, there are chapters who have no Panhellenic spirit and could care less if one of their new pledges was a complete bitch to everyone except them.

ETA: if there's true Panhellenic spirit, reporting a PNM can work, but I also can envision cases where it would backfire terribly on the sorority.

Perhaps the solution is a "reverse dance party" where all the rude PNMs get taken to a room while everyone else socializes. (Kidding) (but kind of not)

DeltaBetaBaby · #5 04-28-2015, 05:53 PM

I think the solution wouldn't even be that you have to remove rude PNM's, just that you have to make them *think* they would be removed. The threat, properly handed down, would be good enough.

(BTW, I know I had at least one foot-in-mouth moment during a rush party...I'm not talking about yawning or saying something dumb, but if women are truly texting during parties, that's ridiculous)

ladybug12 · #6 04-28-2015, 07:57 PM

Going back to the origional post, I would advise you to contact your national/area membership officer to start a dialogue about this issue. Know your numbers and statistics. Open up a discussion to the possibility of a limited number of releases...sometimes getting to release just a few PNMs gives the chapter more confidance.

And also have a plan of action to offer: having a snap bid list for Bid Day or solid COB list in order to reach quota quickly after recruitment in return for the priviledge of obtaining permission to over-release a set number of PNMs.

You may get permission, or you may not. But it is worth a try.

And great advise is given in this thread about how to deal with rude or crying girls....believe me, we all have them from time to time.

33girl · #7 04-28-2015, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybug12

And also have a plan of action to offer: having a snap bid list for Bid Day or solid COB list in order to reach quota quickly after recruitment in return for the priviledge of obtaining permission to over-release a set number of PNMs.

ALL chapters should have a list at ALL times of women who are possible members....including upperclassmen and women who for whatever reason didn't go through formal rush. That woman who knows most of the sisters will blend in more seamlessly than a girl who you had to pull teeth to get her to have a conversation.

And yes, EVERY chapter should do this...I don't care if you made quota plus for the last century. You never know what might happen.

AZ-AlphaXi · #8 04-30-2015, 09:32 PM

^^^^ RFM = Release Figure Methodology. The NPC recommended system for
figuring number of invitations per chapter per round in formal recruitment.

https://www.npcwomen.org/resources/p...ate%202014.pdf

thecon · #9 09-01-2015, 06:28 AM

Hey all. Sorry to resurrect an old thread but I just wanted to update everyone. We're nearly done with our fall recruitment and I'm super excited to report that from the second to the thIrd day we had a very very high return rate for the first time in ages. It's too soon to tell yet but we worked super hard and might have pulled off an amazing fall formal.

Also our new advisor allowed us to make cuts and advocated for us to be able to get rid of girls that were downright rude, right out of the gate. Which made everyone more enthusiastic and happy. My sisters (for the most part) felt like they actually had a little say which made all the difference in the world.

33girl · #10 09-01-2015, 08:17 AM

So, so happy to hear you have someone in your corner who GETS IT. Here's hoping for a fabulous NM class!!

KDCat · #11 09-01-2015, 10:18 AM

That's great news! So happy for you and your chapter!

Have a great recruitment and a good fall!

DubaiSis · #12 09-01-2015, 11:57 AM

That's great! And a little success will help all of the issues. There may still be girls who don't want that house but if SOME girls are happy then others will be at least more open to giving you a shot. And with that you're allowed to make more cuts, and in just a few years you are right in the middle of the pack. I've seen it happen more than once!

Let us know how it ends up!

howdy96 · #13 09-01-2015, 04:46 PM

I'm surprised to hear some of this! At Texas A&M, phones are forbidden on the row all week, and if you're rude in a house, you WILL be dismissed from recruitment.

APhiLife · #14 09-01-2015, 05:52 PM

Love hearing a positive update!

DubaiSis · #15 09-28-2015, 01:11 PM

It's a slow process. You'll get there but it may take a couple years. Give your new members the best possible experience and they'll attract friends. Any luck at working on the girls who declined their bids? I don't know if that's a good strategy or not but a few girls might be regretting their flounce.