I suicided

[33girl]

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=143495

Green Book verbiage in this thread

[SoCalGirl]

From page 130 of the 2014 MOI:

Bid Matching
A fraternity should be willing to issue an invitation to membership to any woman who is invited and attends its preference event. The name of every woman whom the fraternity invites to attend and who attends that fraternity’s Preference event should appear on the fraternity’s bid list.

[Maman]

As a parent, I also think fees would be valid consideration. If the sorority is unhoused with low fees I would say to give it a try. If out-of house fees are in the 7 to 9k range theire may be better options for those dollars.

[IndianaSigKap]

On my campus, girls often suicided for religious preferences. We only attended two chapters for preference. If a Jewish girl had only SDT or AEPhi and another chapter for preference, sometimes she might choose to ISP the traditionally Jewish chapter. A girl in my dorm had a name that might be seen as a traditionally Jewish last name, she was very Catholic. At preference she had AGD and SDT, she ISPed AGD. Luckily, it worked out. So not every girl who ISPs does so for "superficial" reasons based on social standing.

[andthen]

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap

On my campus, girls often suicided for religious preferences. We only attended two chapters for preference. If a Jewish girl had only SDT or AEPhi and another chapter for preference, sometimes she might choose to ISP the traditionally Jewish chapter. A girl in my dorm had a name that might be seen as a traditionally Jewish last name, she was very Catholic. At preference she had AGD and SDT, she ISPed AGD. Luckily, it worked out. So not every girl who ISPs does so for "superficial" reasons based on social standing.

That's an excellent point. Especially if "Molly Potential Member" for example strongly identifies with her religion and culture, I could certainly see a valid reason for wanting to ISP. If "Molly Potential Member" thinks as the example you gave they would fit in with the ideals with a more traditionally Jewish chapter.

Unfortunately those who ISP, it doesn't always work out, and they have to be willing to accept that when making the decision to ISP. Its all a part of life, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

[pinksequins]

Exactly. It is her prerogative. I also have no issue if a PNM makes a choice that there are chapters that do not meet her personal criteria. Sometimes it works out; sometimes, not. So long as she owns the results, I have no quarrel with her choice.

[SWTXBelle]

It's the "owning the results" that sometimes sticks in my craw. By all means, suicide if you would rather swallow broken glass than pledge another sorority, but don't turn around and whine about the possible negative outcome. Don't gamble if you can't afford to lose.

[pinksequins]

I agree that complaining is not appropriate. However, there are women who would rather not be Greek than be in a chapter they believe (correctly or incorrectly) is not for them. Not pledging a group is not equivalent to swallowing broken glass -- sometimes not pledging a group is the correct choice for the PNM (and the chapter).

[SWTXBelle]

I employed hyperbole - sorry if it wasn't obvious.

Certainly there can be very good reasons to suicide. If that is the case, there should be no whining. A pnm made the right choice for herself.

[pinksequins]

Absolutely! And the chapter does not have someone pouting and putting a damper on festivities for those who want to be there.

[PinkSkyAtNight]

Originally Posted by USCmtg

I suicided because I absolutely did not want to be in the other sorority. The other one made me think that I was definitley getting a bid by what they said. However I got dropped today. I know that I can't get a snap bid because I suicided but what's the likelihood of me getting a bid during COB?

ALS - At no point in the poster's original thread does she ask for your sympathy, pity or understanding. She states facts and asks a question. Yet, for some you feel compelled to shame her about her decision.

[als463]

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight

ALS - At no point in the poster's original thread does she ask for your sympathy, pity or understanding. She states facts and asks a question. Yet, for some you feel compelled to shame her about her decision.

You may as well just get used to it. That is how I feel and I won't apologize for my feelings. Every single time a woman comes on here to say she is angry she got the bottom chapter, or she suicided, or dropped out because the remaining choices were less than desirable then I'm going to say the same thing. I don't care if she asks for my pity or my understanding. If anything, I feel bad for the chapters that may struggle with membership because some girls let tent talk get to them. I'm working for a campus where some of the most amazing women I know are from some of those less than desirable chapters. In fact, one of the women from one of those chapters I speak of is someone I would be more than proud to call my sister. I don't feel sorry for these women who make the choices that they do regarding my NPC sisters and I refuse to pretend to.

[PinkSkyAtNight]

Originally Posted by als463

You may as well just get used to it. That is how I feel and I won't apologize for my feelings. Every single time a woman comes on here to say she is angry she got the bottom chapter, or she suicided, or dropped out because the remaining choices were less than desirable then I'm going to say the same thing. I don't care if she asks for my pity or my understanding. If anything, I feel bad for the chapters that may struggle with membership because some girls let tent talk get to them. I'm working for a campus where some of the most amazing women I know are from some of those less than desirable chapters. In fact, one of the women from one of those chapters I speak of is someone I would be more than proud to call my sister. I don't feel sorry for these women who make the choices that they do regarding my NPC sisters and I refuse to pretend to.

Yeah, that's great. But the original poster didn't insult or put down or even insinuate that the other chapter she didn't list wasn't "top tier". She didn't express anger or sadness. She did nothing of the sort, but you assumed that she was doing that by not listing them. She just asked a question and you pounced and made all kinds of assumptions.

Trust me, the chapters that don't have perfect return rates don't need advisers or university employees to defend their honor if it means putting down a woman who still might want to participate in COB. It makes you and them look defensive and adds to the stigma.

It is kind of like when someone breaks up with you and does it without insulting you, if you get mad, angry, defensive, stalkerish.... rarely does it make that person want to reconsider the relationship. Rather, it only confirms the suspicions they had all along that it wasn't a good match.

[als463]

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight

Yeah, that's great. But the original poster didn't insult or put down or even insinuate that the other chapter she didn't list wasn't "top tier". She didn't express anger or sadness. She did nothing of the sort, but you assumed that she was was doing that by not listing them. She just asked a question and you pounced and made all kinds of assumptions.

Trust me, the chapters that don't have perfect return rates don't need advisers or university employees to defend their honor if it means putting down a woman who still might want to participate in COB. It makes you and them look defensive and adds to the stigma.

It is kind of like when someone breaks up with you and does it without insulting you, if you get mad, angry, defensive, stalkerish.... rarely does it make that person want to reconsider the relationship. Rather, it only confirms the suspicions they had all along that it wasn't a good match.

You do realize that she may not have the option to COB at such a large SEC school where even the struggling chapters aren't exactly struggling, right? What other great reasons would someone have for choosing to suicide at a school where Greek life is huge? Please tell me.

[PinkSkyAtNight]

Originally Posted by als463

You do realize that she may not have the option to COB at such a large SEC school where even the struggling chapters aren't exactly struggling, right? What other great reasons would someone have for choosing to suicide at a school where Greek life is huge? Please tell me.

Not sure, but under no circumstance is someone obligated to tell you any reason for why they listed chapters the way they did.

If someone doesn't insult or degrade anyone, they should be free to ask a question without a university employee/adviser jumping all over them. The simple act of SIP'ing is not an insult. If she had said "I didn't want that chapter because ALL of them are (insert insult)", then by all means would you be justified in defending your position. But she didn't do that, and not everyone who comes here to ask questions does.