Dropping my sorority

[ASUADPi]

OMG everything I typed was just lost. Damn you greekchat.

Ugh

I don't want to retype it all. Pineapples, I had a story for you, if you wanna "hear" it, feel free to PM me.

I know you aren't a theta, if you are an ADPi please feel free to contact me. I do know women in other chapters, if you need a recommendation of who to talk to please feel free to contact me.

[SoCalGirl]

You should have access to your chapter's bylaws. They should have something about dropping your membership or even a leave of absence.

If not, I would say ask to meet with your new member educator and chapter president privately. Yes, they'll try to talk you out of your decision. If they don't, you really are making the right choice.

You'll likely need to write a letter to the chapter. It doesn't likely need to get into the why but it needs to clearly say "I've decided to end my membership". The chapter may, or may not, need to take a vote. You may need to sign some forms. You'll need to pay any outstanding dues, including the rest of this semester.

[AZTheta]

pineapples, please - you need to contact your own sorority. Either locally, or your headquarters.

I'm repeating this because other NPC sororities may or may not offer an early alumnae option. And it isn't solely a chapter decision, it may well be a national/international policy.

We don't have any idea whether or not you'd qualify for early alumnae status; your only option may be to resign. So let the side convo(s) go. And DON'T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET BACK TO SCHOOL if you are dead set on resigning. Do it NOW. (caps for emphasis).

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by AZTheta

pineapples, please - you need to contact your own sorority. Either locally, or your headquarters.

I'm repeating this because other NPC sororities may or may not offer an early alumnae option. And it isn't solely a chapter decision, it may well be a national/international policy.

We don't have any idea whether or not you'd qualify for early alumnae status; your only option may be to resign. So let the side convo(s) go. And DON'T WAIT UNTIL YOU GET BACK TO SCHOOL if you are dead set on resigning. Do it NOW. (caps for emphasis).

ahhhh okay. I'm going to get in touch with someone today. Thank you SO much - I really do appreciate your help.

[pineapples]

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl

You should have access to your chapter's bylaws. They should have something about dropping your membership or even a leave of absence.

If not, I would say ask to meet with your new member educator and chapter president privately. Yes, they'll try to talk you out of your decision. If they don't, you really are making the right choice.

You'll likely need to write a letter to the chapter. It doesn't likely need to get into the why but it needs to clearly say "I've decided to end my membership". The chapter may, or may not, need to take a vote. You may need to sign some forms. You'll need to pay any outstanding dues, including the rest of this semester.

I've checked and rechecked the bylaws with no luck.

I hope my chapter doesn't need to vote me out, I'm not a big fan of having attention on me, I was hoping I could go out quietly thank you!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by pineapples

I've checked and rechecked the bylaws with no luck.

I hope my chapter doesn't need to vote me out, I'm not a big fan of having attention on me, I was hoping I could go out quietly thank you!

From my sorority, I've never heard of a member who wants to self-terminate having to be voted out by the chapter. (Whether the national org accepts her termination is another story) Every group is different.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by 33girl

From my sorority, I've never heard of a member who wants to self-terminate having to be voted out by the chapter. (Whether the national org accepts her termination is another story) Every group is different.

In AOII you have to. Don't know why, but you do. It's an awkward discussion every single time.

[Titchou]

You also understand, I hope, that you will have to turn in all your jewelry (badge),stuff with letters, etc, you'll never be allowed to join another NPC group nor an alum group and your daughters/granddaughters/etc will never be legacies. Just so you know how all-encompassing this decision is. Like I said before, it sounds like you just want the wedding and not the marriage.

[ukdzccd]

As a chapter adviser, my advice would be if you are considering transferring for educational reasons, and have the possibility of affiliating with a different chapter of your same sorority, honestly that may be your best bet. It's very easy to dole out arm-chair advice about sticking with it and it's a lifetime commitment...yada, yada, yada, but we all know that sometimes the face that a sorority puts out during recruitment is not an accurate representation of what they are truly like once the big show is over and you get to the nitty-gritty of getting to know everyone. The attitude of the chapter with every new incoming member class can result in a shift in direction, so-to-speak, so it's not entirely unreasonable to think that maybe what you signed up for, wasn't what you ended up getting.

In Delta Zeta, you do not HAVE to affiliate if you leave your original school of initiation. So if you pledged/initiated at one school, found it didn't work for you and you wanted to switch, you could, and if you did not affiliate with the DZ chapter at your new school OR they didn't have one, you would become an alumna. Now, if you chose to affiliate, the DZ chapter at the new school would have to vote to accept your petition, so it's not a sure-thing, but it is an option.

It seems that you are very interested in the sorority, and in continuing your commitment that you made when you joined your particular group, but just not this group of women, and the above option, if it's possible for your sorority, might be the best way for you to retain your membership to continue as an alumna but not be in a chapter that you didn't mesh with as well as you expected you would.

Don't know if you are a DZ, but if you are, I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you might have.

[KDCat]

Originally Posted by ukdzccd

As a chapter adviser, my advice would be if you are considering transferring for educational reasons, and have the possibility of affiliating with a different chapter of your same sorority, honestly that may be your best bet. It's very easy to dole out arm-chair advice about sticking with it and it's a lifetime commitment...yada, yada, yada, but we all know that sometimes the face that a sorority puts out during recruitment is not an accurate representation of what they are truly like once the big show is over and you get to the nitty-gritty of getting to know everyone. The attitude of the chapter with every new incoming member class can result in a shift in direction, so-to-speak, so it's not entirely unreasonable to think that maybe what you signed up for, wasn't what you ended up getting.

In Delta Zeta, you do not HAVE to affiliate if you leave your original school of initiation. So if you pledged/initiated at one school, found it didn't work for you and you wanted to switch, you could, and if you did not affiliate with the DZ chapter at your new school OR they didn't have one, you would become an alumna. Now, if you chose to affiliate, the DZ chapter at the new school would have to vote to accept your petition, so it's not a sure-thing, but it is an option.

It seems that you are very interested in the sorority, and in continuing your commitment that you made when you joined your particular group, but just not this group of women, and the above option, if it's possible for your sorority, might be the best way for you to retain your membership to continue as an alumna but not be in a chapter that you didn't mesh with as well as you expected you would.

Don't know if you are a DZ, but if you are, I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you might have.

co-sign

If you are transferring anyway, you are most likely to be an early alumna. You don't have to do anything at that point. You can decide whether to affiliate or not later. Since you are transferring, you might want to hit the pause button and sit with it for awhile, before you disaffiliate.

[bevinpiphi]

If you're a Pi Phi, feel free to PM me and I can walk you through what you need to do, and what some of your options/consequences could be. I have several pledge class sisters or women I have advised who are now, a few years after resigning, asking to be reinstated as alumna members - make sure you have thought through not just what you'll feel now, but what you'll feel next month, next year, in 5 years.
Otherwise, talk to pledge educator, chapter president, or secretary/VP Admin. If you would feel more comfortable talking to an alum advisor, you should be able to get ahold of their information.

[ChioLu]

If you are a Chi Omega, early alum status is not common. Contact an alum advisor or Exec HQ if you have extenuating circumstances.
If you are transferring to another university that has a Chi O chapter, you are not required to affiliate -- it's optional.

[adpiucf]

If you want to drop out, contact your chapter president or chapter advisor to discuss this procedure. If you're thinking about transferring to another school, this seems to be more to do with being generally unhappy and no sorority is going to be "right" for you until you are right with yourself. Wishing you the best as you sort everything out. College is a tough time and you're figuring a lot of stuff out. Sorority life isn't for everyone, and even for those involved its not always sunshine and rainbows. Being in an organization with women is HARD. If you're really sure it's not right for you, cut your losses and move on. But as with anything, if you aren't invested in something with a positive attitude and making an effort to get to know people, you're going to be miserable. That's just life in general.