Daughter is a legacy and was cut

[ADPiEE]

I'm so glad you're daughter is going to do informal! Let me give you my perspective because I did informal 20 years ago.

I didn't do formal "Rush" because I believed the negative stereotypes about Greek life at the time. After I got to college, I made friends with girls in sororities and learned that they really weren't true...and that sorority life had a lot to offer. I signed up for informal Spring rush (most of the groups on campus participated) fulling thinking I would join a group that I had friends in. Ironically, I ended up falling in love with the one group where I didn't know ANYONE. In the informal setting, I really got to spend time with the girls and really knew where I felt "at home." I had finally found girls just like me with similar values and goals!

In some ways, I wish all girls could go through informal because it gives you a much better feel for the group--but I know it's not possible with the number of PNM's.


Thank you for keeping us posted!

[coffeegal3]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

For what is worth. PNM's like your daughter tend to do extremely well in spring recruitment. Formal recruitment can be difficult for shy and quiet girls. Some Chapter at UNC will be thrilled to have your daughter as a member and I have a feeling she will find her home IF she can keep an open mind. At this point she has nothing to loose. She should go to the Greek event and see what her options are and have fun!

Good luck to your daughter.

Agreed. Many of my sisters who would consider themselves shy have said that informal recruitment can be a good time to show what will make you a wonderful sister (and, in your daughter's case, it looks like there are many ways she could add to the chapter) in a less overwhelming setting. And, like it has been said above, what does she have to lose?

Good luck to your daughter!

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by UNCalum

I'll fill you in a little on my daughter, as it might help -

Does your daughter know that you've put up a lot of really specific information about her? Collegiate members do come here, and there is a good chance that there are people who are at UNC. I would really suggest you edit such easily-indentifiable information about her here, especially if she doesn't know that you're doing so.

[UNCalum]

Done. Thanks!

[gee_ess]

When does informal begin? I feel completely vested in the process with your daughter and want to root from the sidelines!

[carnation]

@#! I did it again. I was looking for the Like button to totally agree with gee_ess.

[groovypq]

^Me too!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

By having every group attend, UNC may be attempting to de-stigmatize spring recruitment

But it doesn't. The rushees get there, see that super popular ABC who they didn't get a bid from is there and get all OMG YAY THERE'S STILL A CHANCE FOR ME IN ABC THEY STILL NEED GIRLS WHOOT WHOOT.

Then (this can be when they talk to the girls at the event, or when the actual invites start going out) the rushees discover that ABC didn't need members at all, they are just at the event because they have to be, and they're so upset that it makes it even harder for them to give a fair look to the groups that ARE taking new members. It's like seeing fresh lobster on a menu and then finding out that there is only one fresh lobster served a day and it's already gone - anything else isn't going to taste as good because you psyched yourself up for lobster.

[IndianaSigKap]

Originally Posted by 33girl

But it doesn't. The rushees get there, see that super popular ABC who they didn't get a bid from is there and get all OMG YAY THERE'S STILL A CHANCE FOR ME IN ABC THEY STILL NEED GIRLS WHOOT WHOOT.

Then (this can be when they talk to the girls at the event, or when the actual invites start going out) the rushees discover that ABC didn't need members at all, they are just at the event because they have to be, and they're so upset that it makes it even harder for them to give a fair look to the groups that ARE taking new members.

I totally agree with you. Back in the old days, when I was in school Panhel listed the chapters who were participating before doing sign ups. This gave the PNMs an accurate picture of who had openings and the chapters had a pool of women who were interested in those chapters to pull from for events. Our Panhel didn't tell PNMs how many spots each chapter had, but they required that the chapters have at least three to participate. If there were more than three chapters, and there usually were in the fall, they would set up open houses that worked like formal recruitment, only fewer houses to visit. Both groups went into it with a clearer picture. One fall in particular 7 chapters participated and over 100 girls signed up.

[irishpipes]

Originally Posted by 33girl

But it doesn't. The rushees get there, see that super popular ABC who they didn't get a bid from is there and get all OMG YAY THERE'S STILL A CHANCE FOR ME IN ABC THEY STILL NEED GIRLS WHOOT WHOOT.

Then (this can be when they talk to the girls at the event, or when the actual invites start going out) the rushees discover that ABC didn't need members at all, they are just at the event because they have to be, and they're so upset that it makes it even harder for them to give a fair look to the groups that ARE taking new members. It's like seeing fresh lobster on a menu and then finding out that there is only one fresh lobster served a day and it's already gone - anything else isn't going to taste as good because you psyched yourself up for lobster.

I totally agree. However, I have yet to work with an office of Greek Affairs that would come close to understanding this. (The same folks who write websites and brochures saying recs are the responsibility of the chapters.)

[33girl]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

I totally agree. However, I have yet to work with an office of Greek Affairs that would come close to understanding this. (The same folks who write websites and brochures saying recs are the responsibility of the chapters.)

To cut some slack, I believe that there are GAs out there who do have teh stupids and believe exactly the above, but there are probably also GAs out there who do understand it but can't make their superiors understand it/care enough to try to understand it. Unfortunately, the latter are usually the ones who don't stick around very long because there are only so many pairs of hip boots out there to wade through manure.

[carnation]

The statements about not needing recs practically make me cry. How many times have I tried to tell a mom and daughter that even though the booklet said they didn't need them, they really did? And then you know what happened.

[irishpipes]

Agreed, but I've seen too many who
1) have a serious case of kumbaya and think their intentions of a tier-free NPC will make it so because after all, PNMs are uninformed little people who won't figure out that they're being snowed, or
2) don't have NPC experience (or do, but not at a similar school)

[UNCalum]

You all really know your stuff! The organizational mtg is Monday night. I'll fill you all in as soon as I hear from her! Thanks for the support and encouragement!

[carnation]

Originally Posted by irishpipes

Agreed, but I've seen too many who
have a serious case of kumbaya and think their intentions of a tier-free NPC will make it so because after all, PNMs are uninformed little people who won't figure out that they're being snowed