Why do we tell PNMs to clean up their Facebook?

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Having the sense to be discrete is an important life skill, not for recruitment, but for life.

The GC Lesson of the Day!

[33girl]

People oversharing and not knowing to STFU has been going on a long time before Facebook.

As I've said before, when you live in a state and/or go to a school with more stringent alcohol regulations than most, you just naturally learn to keep things close to the vest, but I think nowadays they don't even get that any more. I'm sure a lot of this is because punishment from parents is not what it used to be. A sorority's national office disciplining a chapter is probably the first time some people have ever heard "hey, you screwed up."

Personally, I blame The Real World and the concept of the worse you behave, the more media attention you get.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

After reading yet another thread telling a PNM why she needs to clean up her online presence, I thought... Why do we do this? ...It is simply truth in advertising.

I agree. If we can see all their photos, we get a better picture of them overall and can see..what sort of rep they deserve.

It'll never happen, though.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I thought it was against contact rules for sorority women at a school having rush in August to friend rushees now.

Also, IMO, you shouldn't friend ANYONE you don't know/haven't met personally just because their profile says they go to your college. As I said before, they can be creepy stalkers. If you go to a school with deferred rush, go out and MEET sorority women, and THEN friend them/accept their FRs.

Every school has different contact rules and different campus cultures. If you have deferred recruitment you can't believe that sorority members and PNMs who happen to be in the same club, same class, or even hang out at the same fraternity house for a semester aren't going to friend each other, even if they bearly know each other.

But if some PNMs are scared of being fb friends with a sorority women after meeting them -even briefly, and rejects the friendship request, it's could be a mental note for the sorority member. And especially for competitive campuses who need to make cuts for any reason possible. You can't say that this absolutely would not come into consideration. I'm not saying they have to go out an "friend" every single sorority woman, but they need to make socially smart decisions.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Having the sense to be discrete is an important life skill, not for recruitment, but for life.

Kudos to AGDee!

This is a great and important comment, but because I am a spelling freak and former copy editor, it's discreet.
Discrete = "apart or detached from others; separate; distinct: six discrete parts."
Discreet = "1. judicious in one's conduct or speech, especially with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect. 2. showing prudence and circumspection; decorous: a discreet silence."
(Thank you dictionary.com)

[FleurGirl]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

But if some PNMs are scared of being fb friends with a sorority women after meeting them -even briefly, and rejects the friendship request, it's could be a mental note for the sorority member.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think on most campuses interacting with a PNM via facebook would be considered "dirty rushing".

And as far as someone tagging a picture and you not getting to it first -- in the day of smartphones, that's not really an excuse. The majority of people I know have internet on their phone and can set up notifications for when a picture is tagged.

[MaggieXi]

Originally Posted by FleurGirl

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think on most campuses interacting with a PNM via facebook would be considered "dirty rushing".

And as far as someone tagging a picture and you not getting to it first -- in the day of smartphones, that's not really an excuse. The majority of people I know have internet on their phone and can set up notifications for when a picture is tagged.

How is it dirty rushing? For example: If you have deferred recruitment in the spring, and a freshman girl has an orientation leader in August who happens to also be an XYZ and they friend each other. Orientation ends, they still see each other from time to time on campus and are friendly. (This could apply to R.A.s or a lab partner, etc).

Again, it depends on the school's no contact rules. The chapter I work with, this scenario is not considered dirty rushing and is quite the norm. Most PNMs go into recruitment being fb friends with many sorority women in many different sororities. No contact does not go into effect until registration for recruitment opens. Prior to that, you can have social media connections.

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

How is it dirty rushing? For example: If you have deferred recruitment in the spring, and a freshman girl has an orientation leader in August who happens to also be an XYZ and they friend each other. Orientation ends, they still see each other from time to time on campus and are friendly. (This could apply to R.A.s or a lab partner, etc).

Again, it depends on the school's no contact rules. The chapter I work with, this scenario is not considered dirty rushing and is quite the norm. Most PNMs go into recruitment being fb friends with many sorority women in many different sororities. No contact does not go into effect until registration for recruitment opens. Prior to that, you can have social media connections.

I can see how this is different in deferred recruitment since they are technically not a PNM until registration is open. It just sounds like dirty rushing since at most campuses recruitment is in the fall and these connections are made over the summer (when registration is open) and not in the first semester(when registration is closed for deferred).

[Alumiyum]

I think the problem is that kids just do not understand how their internet life impacts their real life, so they don't see the need to censor their profiles. Judging them for this is counter-productive, IMO, because a lot of good PNMs likely have inappropriate content on their profiles that doesn't reflect who they are 90% of the time...not to mention many actives would have the exact same crap on their profiles if their chapters didn't forbid it.

It's really more of a social problem and a "kids today" problem than anything else. I think schools and parents need to do a better job of hammering home exactly how damaging a bad Facebook page can be.

And bottom line, if a girl is out of control enough to be a risk management issue it's unlikely actives need facebook to see that. She'll give herself away before getting a bid.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by MaggieXi

Every school has different contact rules and different campus cultures. If you have deferred recruitment you can't believe that sorority members and PNMs who happen to be in the same club, same class, or even hang out at the same fraternity house for a semester aren't going to friend each other, even if they bearly know each other.

But if some PNMs are scared of being fb friends with a sorority women after meeting them -even briefly, and rejects the friendship request, it's could be a mental note for the sorority member. And especially for competitive campuses who need to make cuts for any reason possible. You can't say that this absolutely would not come into consideration. I'm not saying they have to go out an "friend" every single sorority woman, but they need to make socially smart decisions.

If you have deferred and meet the people in person, friend away. That's the whole point of deferred rush.

I'm talking about if Katie Kappa from Bama got on her FB now, in May, and sent a friend request to Franny Freshman (whom she has never met, has no connections to and the only reason she has her name is because Franny posted on the college's FB page asking about sororities).

Not only is this dirty rushing, Franny should be cautious because IRL Katie Kappa could be a 50 year old creepy hacker dude.

[WCsweet<3]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I think the problem is that kids just do not understand how their internet life impacts their real life, so they don't see the need to censor their profiles. Judging them for this is counter-productive, IMO, because a lot of good PNMs likely have inappropriate content on their profiles that doesn't reflect who they are 90% of the time...not to mention many actives would have the exact same crap on their profiles if their chapters didn't forbid it.

It's really more of a social problem and a "kids today" problem than anything else. I think schools and parents need to do a better job of hammering home exactly how damaging a bad Facebook page can be.

And bottom line, if a girl is out of control enough to be a risk management issue it's unlikely actives need facebook to see that. She'll give herself away before getting a bid.

All of this!


I was having this conversation with a sister who now is in the PR business the other day. We both said that our facebooks don't represent us. Many of my pictures are at bars/parties because that is where people take pictures (there are other photographic moments, but for this thread's purpose). If it represented me I would have ten times the amount of pictures showing me sitting in sweats watching tv, but few people take pictures like that.

[TriDeltaSallie]

I didn't mean to post and disappear! I'm finding the discussion really interesting!

[als463]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Well, if they know this, then they were there too, weren't they? So what's the problem/point?

You apparently have not been in the corporate world long and are way underestimating the numbers of gainfully employed, higher-up drunken smutbags.

^ It's because of comments like this that make me aware...had 33girl and I gone to school together-we would have def. been friends and most likely hung out on a regular basis (this includes a few other GCers on here too-you should know who you are). So true...

While we're on the subject of Facebook, I'd like to add that (especially during recruitment/ rush season) it would be wise to be careful about the "tests" you take through Facebook applications. What sex position you are, what evil ruler of the world you are (yes, there is an application for that-which consists of answers like Hitler and the like), whatever....don't do "trashy" tests like that because it can be a big turn-off.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by als463

While we're on the subject of Facebook, I'd like to add that (especially during recruitment/ rush season) it would be wise to be careful about the "tests" you take through Facebook applications. What sex position you are, what evil ruler of the world you are (yes, there is an application for that-which consists of answers like Hitler and the like), whatever....don't do "trashy" tests like that because it can be a big turn-off.

LOL. One of my friends has been semi-humourously grousing about "remember back in 2009 when FB used to just be fun?" I think I need to remind her that we were all still enthralled with taking those dumb ass tests back then, too. hahahahaha

[Barbie's_Rush]

I think we suggest they clean up their facebooks for the same reason we try to give them a chance to correct themselves when they initially do something dumb on gc. I don't think anyone should be penalized for one random act that doesn't really reflect who they are. But if she doesn't take that opportunity to fix the things that can cause recruitment problems, then she's probably that girl after all and deserves the results she gets.