Getting Married Young- Why?

[JennRN]

I agree that it's totally dependant on the people. Hubby and I got married when I was 25, and he was almost 27. We had both finished college, started our careers, and dated for 5 years. However-after our first year of dating, when I was 21, we started talking about getting married and ring shopping-and after a while, I freaked out and briefly broke up with him-I just couldn't do it at that time. A few years later-I was totally ready. Now we look back and say thank goodness we didn't do it right away!
However.....
My cousin's wife was 22 when they got married. She dropped out of juco to plan the wedding. Shocking that she never went back Now she's squeezed out their first (of many, I'm sure) kid and that's all she's got. That kid is her whole life. No career. No degree. Nothing outside the husband and kid. Put aside the "what would you do to survive/for money/for your child if your husband was ever out of the picture" issue-but I worry about them long term as well.

[PincGator Que]

I've been happily married for 15 years. I married my college sweetheart, but I didn't get married until I was in my late 20s. I believe in being established financially, not just on my end but on her end, as well, before making that final decision. It's about supporting each other and being ready when both of you feel the time is right. I'm happy and I wouldn't change a thing.

[KSUViolet06]

This thread reminds me of a girl I met at an event where there were undergrad students.

The undergrads were going around introducing themselves and telling a fun fact about themselves.

It came to be this one girl's turn. She said "Hi, I'm Girl, I'm 18 and my fun fact is that I just got married last week!"

Another girl was like "Awww where did you honeymoon?"

Girl said "Oh, unfortunately we didn't get a honeymoon. We got married on a Saturday but couldn't go anywhere because Hubby had to be back here for his Psych 100 final on Monday."

Girl also shared that she and hubby are dorm roomies. Whoa.

[Alumiyum]

I know girls who have dropped out of school to get married. I even know one who only had a semester left and chose to get married instead of finishing her degree. (I'm not sure why those two things were mutually exclusive, but for her they seemed to be). To me, that is a complete waste.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I know girls who have dropped out of school to get married. I even know one who only had a semester left and chose to get married instead of finishing her degree. (I'm not sure why those two things were mutually exclusive, but for her they seemed to be). To me, that is a complete waste.

My mom's frend has a daughter who was accepted into a 6 year accelerated BS/MD med school program that OH state schools have (you go to school all year round and complete your BS and MD in 6 years).

She had a long term boyfriend who was headed to seminary to become a pastor. He proposed to her the weekend she finished her BS (meaning she would start med school the next semester).

She decided to give up her spot in this program to "stay at home and emotionally support her fiance/the household while he's in seminary."

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

My mom's frend has a daughter who was accepted into a 6 year accelerated BS/MD med school program that OH state schools have (you go to school all year round and complete your BS and MD in 6 years).

She had a long term boyfriend who was headed to seminary to become a pastor. He proposed to her the weekend she finished her BS (meaning she would start med school the next semester).

She decided to give up her spot in this program to "stay at home and emotionally support her fiance/the household while he's in seminary."

I don't get it. And by that I mean I do and I don't...because whatever is right for that person is right. But I would not be able (or want) to do that in a million years. I want my degrees more than a man.

[PincGator Que]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

My mom's frend has a daughter who was accepted into a 6 year accelerated BS/MD med school program that OH state schools have (you go to school all year round and complete your BS and MD in 6 years).

She had a long term boyfriend who was headed to seminary to become a pastor. He proposed to her the weekend she finished her BS (meaning she would start med school the next semester).

She decided to give up her spot in this program to "stay at home and emotionally support her fiance/the household while he's in seminary."

What she did is so dumb, I just had to laugh. He's probably one of those controlling dudes too. Most of the time there seems to be something up with some of these pastors and future pastors.

[princessamy]

Originally Posted by PincGator Que

What she did is so dumb, I just had to laugh. He's probably one of those controlling dudes too. Most of the time there seems to be something up with some of these pastors and future pastors.

lol. that is so true.
living in the south i've noticed that most of my friends are either engaged or married. it's crazy. sometimes i feel pressured but I know that waiting is the best thing to do.

[Kappamd]

^^^Omg. OMG. That is FAIL.

[Drolefille]

^^ Do you think it was just a sign that she didn't want to be a doctor after all and didn't want to/couldn't switch out of the track she was in easily for whatever reason? (Parental pressure? Life changes? School rules?)

I mean, it's not something I'd do, but if ultimately she's happy then, good for her?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

^^ Do you think it was just a sign that she didn't want to be a doctor after all....

Yes.

Having a husband > Finishing her plans

[Kappamd]

^^^Ok, not only that, but BS/MD programs are INTENSE and extremely competitive. You just don't enter that kind of problem if you're only "ohhhh, maybe I want to be a doctor." These students are highly "in-bred" in that they have multiple family members who are physicians, probably who went to the same medical school. Entering a BS/MD program means essentially kissing your chance to have any sort of normal social life in college goodbye. You end up with a shitty degree in "natural sciences" or something similar that really only has value to the medical school you made a commitment to. Every BS/MD student I've known that didn't go on to the medical school track (usually because they couldnt score the minimum score on the MCAT) has had to go back and complete an additional degree. WHY anyone would go through that hell and then drop out for a guy......that is just incomprehensible.

But hey, we'll probably never know her true motivations.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Kappamd

^^^Ok, not only that, but BS/MD programs are INTENSE and extremely competitive. You just don't enter that kind of problem if you're only "ohhhh, maybe I want to be a doctor." These students are highly "in-bred" in that they have multiple family members who are physicians, probably who went to the same medical school. Entering a BS/MD program means essentially kissing your chance to have any sort of normal social life in college goodbye. You end up with a shitty degree in "natural sciences" or something similar that really only has value to the medical school you made a commitment to. Every BS/MD student I've known that didn't go on to the medical school track (usually because they couldnt score the minimum score on the MCAT) has had to go back and complete an additional degree. WHY anyone would go through that hell and then drop out for a guy......that is just incomprehensible.

But hey, we'll probably never know her true motivations.

As far I know (per my interactions with her during my recent family holiday party), it was a hard decision, but her husband is highly religious and she kind of knew that's what seminary wives do at this particular school (as a lot of other seminary guy's wives either dropped down to part time or quit school).

She did say that she wanted to take another shot at med school or dental school once hubby graduates next year. Whatever floats her (or his) boat.