Sorors, SFs, One & All

[ImmaculateDST]

Hello all,

First, I say hello and much love to my DiSTant sand DSTSolo01. I too crossed into DELTALAND on April 21, 2001.

I pledged an undergraduate chapter and I am still an undergrad. I love everything about my experience from the never-ending work to the added responsibility of being a DELTA. I encourage every person interested in membership in any BGLO to take it seriously. Just as you put your best forward in your school work or on the job, we expect the same (be prepared). To those who are not chosen for membership this time around, do not be discourged. Everything happens as it should. It may not go your way, but God is always right. Find out what your short comings were and correct them. Try again and next time shine. I wish everyone the best. Keep GOD first and everything will be alright.

[southernbelle]

Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

[Humble]

Originally posted by southernbelle
Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

At the present moment you both are filled with a lot of emotions. If you all were friends before this you will be friends after this. Just give it some time. Also, don't get discouraged. Please know that you cannot compare yourself to anyone who made it. Focus on you, because you are a unique individual who is loved by God. The only thing you will accomplish by comparing yourself to anyone who made it, is drive yourself insane. I know it hurts, but just try to keep a positive attitude and know that if it's meant to be it will be.

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by southernbelle
Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

How do you know it was nothing you did (or maybe didn't do)? No offense meant but since you seem so sure, I am just curious.

[Nubian]

"For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?"

I'm just so happy that finals are over and I actually have some free time to interact with you guys!

With Spring semester approaching, I was really terrified of the possibility of another intake. But something that was said (written) earlier really struck a chord with me. That is, to remain humble in my pursuit. I have worked extra hard to be the best PERSON I can be, especially this year. I have drastically improved my G.P.A., I have become even more active on campus and in the community, and my relationship with Christ gets better everyday.. I haven't done these things just because I want to be greek, but because I know that this is whats right for me. I know now that nothing, including Delta is owed to me. I am happy in the knowledge that whether I make it or not (hopefully I'll make it ) I'm still the best person I can be.

Tamika

[discrete1]

Originally posted by discrete1
I will like to say "thank you" to all the members of the NPHC, for encouraging me. Here is my story:

I was interested in a BGLO as an undergraduate student as of my junior year. I wasn't extended an invitation for a reason I wish not to discuss. I was very active on my campus, involved in various activities. I did untotaled number of hours volunteering off campus etc. In not so many words I wasn't accepted.

I graduated a year later. I moved back home and started seeking a graduate chapter in my area. I went through extreme measures to find the name and address of the advisor. When I found the information, I instantly mailed the advisor my interest letter. I never received a response. Each year I sent my letter to the advisor of the the GLO of my interest. (two years had passed). March of this year, I received a response. A great response, and I choose to leave it at that.

My point is, timing is everything. Maybe I wasn't ready during my college years. Since that time I have been more involved in my community, church and have sought so much information of the GLO of my interest. I've really been doing my homework. I can honestly say that now is the right time. I didn't know as much as I know now about the GLO of my interest as I do now, and I am sure there is an abundance of information to learn once i become a member I wish I could have had the undergrad experience but I didn't and I have to move on.

Thank you all again for encouraging me.

I remember when I replied to this thread. Now, I am proud to say that I am officially a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated. The hard work has definitely paid off. As I said before, "Timing is Everything". In the meantime be patient, What God has for you will be for you. Thank you Sisterfriends for posting this thread, it really encouraged me.

[ladygreek]

Congratulations Discrete1! I am sure you will be an outstanding member of Z Phi B.

[discrete1]

Originally posted by ladygreek
Congratulations Discrete1! I am sure you will be an outstanding member of Z Phi B.

Thank You Ladygreek for your Congrats!!!

[Three_Love]

Regarding rejection letters...all of that "stay strong", "don't be discouraged" stuff SOUNDS real good...

BUT IF YOU HAVE NEVER RECEIVED A REJECTION LETTER, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE OR HOW YOU WILL REACT.

It is discouraging. You don't feel strong and focused - you feel WEAK and DISAPPOINTED and BITTER. EXTREMELY BITTER. Especially when you see people who made line and you KNOW that your credentials are better than theirs. To tell someone who has been rejected that they cannot "compare themselves to someone who made it" is crazy - that's ALL you do when you see that line walk by... You sit and point out women who made line and think, "She failed math last semester and barely has a 2.5 - I thought they said only 2.75 and above would make it?...Lawd, she has slept with half the football team - how in the world did she make it?...I been rushing for 2 years and I've never even SEEN that chick before - how did SHE make it?" And so on. People coming up to you and saying "congratulations, I heard they picked up the Delta line" and your reply is, YEAH, BUT I'M NOT ON IT. Until you've actually been there - it's impossible to fathom.

"Don't take it personally"? How else are you supposed to take it? It IS personal. And I'm sorry Soror DST_philosop4, but prospectives get rejected "with malicious intent" every Spring and Fall - that's just the ugly truth about fraternities and sororities. Malicious is "deliberately harmful; spiteful" - and sometimes, it's like that. I'm just keepin it real here.

So I'm not going to give that "keep ya head up" pep talk, because I've been there, and that's the LAST thing you want to hear when you get a reject letter, believe me.

I joined Delta through an Alumnae chapter 8 years after being rejected as an undergrad. As an undergrad, I attended several rushes, and if I had a dime for every Delta function I supported, I would use it to pay my dues for next year. What did I do after I got rejected? Well, at the time, I was being initiated into an honors fraternity, so that took most of my attention (and NO, that's not why I got rejected, because two of my honors fraternity linesisters made the Delta line that semester). My grades were already excellent, I was already doing public service, so I just continued doing the same things I was already doing before I got rejected.

I just always knew I'd become a Delta, and if that chapter didn't want me, then it was their loss - there are Delta chapters all over the place, and I knew I'd find one that would be HAPPY to have me. As others, including my sister, became Deltas, I was very happy for them - I knew that one day I would join them, and I did.

To "southernbelle" - about your friend making it and you not making it - you will learn if this women is TRULY your friend or not. I had many so-called friends who made it when I didn't, and once I was rejected, they tripped out...suddenly they were too good for me, better than me...or so they thought. I learned who my REAL friends were when I got rejected, and made some new ones too.

The advice I'd give to someone who gets a reject letter is...

GET MAD!! KICK SOMETHING!! SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!

Then shake it off and get on with your life. And wait - your time will come when it's supposed to come, and not before. Oh, and don't forget to SAVE THAT LETTER FOR YOUR SCRAPBOOK WHEN YOU DO FINALLY MAKE IT. My reject letter is right in front, followed by my invitation.

I won't lie and say you aren't going to be bitter, because you ARE GOING TO BE BITTER. When it's meant to be, if it's meant to be, then you'll achieve it. My path to Delta was much longer than I thought it would be, but it was DEFINITELY the right path FOR ME.

[Nubian]

Thank you Three_Love, it almost seems you were speaking to me at times with your post. Your words of encouragement are appreciated.

Tamika

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by southernbelle
Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

I think you should take some time for yourself (away from your friend) to deal with your feelings of anger and rejection. If she is really your friend and deeper than her colors and letters, she will understand. Maybe you should also sit out a few of their events until you feel a little better about things.

[tickledpink]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
Hello Everyone,
It is that time of the year again. Some prospectives are getting acceptance letters and others are being rejected.

I have some questions for ALL BGLO sorority members. Did YOU join your sorority through a collegiate or alumnae chapter?

For those who joined via the ALUMNAE chapter,
A. Did you apply for membership during your college years?
B. While waiting for the chance to join, what did you do in the meantime?
C. While others around you were becoming members, how did you stay focused on the mission of joining the sisterhood that you felt lead to pursue?

To ALL BGLO Sorority members, what advice would you give those who were not chosen this year for membership?

For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?

My Words of Encouragement:
1. Sometimes a DENIAL is a DELAY.
2. Ecclesiastes 3:1 -- There is a time for EVERYTHING, and a season for EVERY ACTIVITY under heaven.

I went undergrad.

For all of those that are not chosen this year for membership:

1. If at first you don't suceed, try, try again.
2. Don't take it personal and don't become bitter. Everyone handles rejection differently, however, after you've gotten past the initial hurt, respond with maturity. It may be hard to see people come out with their letters, the hurt is inevitable, but be happy for them. If xyz sorority is really in your heart, focus on what you need to work on for the next time around.
3. Don't be discouraged, and don't worry about what GDI's and those that were too afraid to apply may think. Some of the hardest workers in BGLOs did not make it the first or second time around.

[trini_girl]

Although it would be a priviledge to get an acceptance letter from Delta Sigma Theta, I can honestly say that if I didn't get the letter I would be disappointed, but it wouldn't stop me from helping people in need and being active in the community because it's something that I enjoy doing anyway. Plus you bless others by using whatever talent GOD gave you to help them. In return, GOD blesses you. It's understandable to be disappointed over something you really desire, but if it gets to a point that you're bitter, then maybe your heart wasn't in the right place. One young lady mentioned in the thread that "what GOD has for you is for you". That's funny because I just heard that phrase in a testimony at church this past weekend. But that statement is very true. Anyway, for those who didn't get that acceptance letter, don't be bitter and by all means don't hate on others. Keep your head up and keep trying to make a difference in your community whether it's with or without DST.

One Love,
Trini_girl

[Three_Love]

Originally posted by trini_girl
It's understandable to be disappointed over something you really desire, but if it gets to a point that you're bitter, then maybe your heart wasn't in the right place. ...Anyway, for those who didn't get that acceptance letter, don't be bitter and by all means don't hate on others.

From Webster's Dictionary...
Bitter: distasteful or distressing to the mind; galling; marked by intensity or severity; accompanied by severe pain or suffering; being relentlessly determined; vehement; marked by cynicism and rancor; intensely unpleasant, esp in coldness or rawness; expressive of severe pain, grief, or regret.

Um, now trust me when I say that getting a rejection letter will bring up AT LEAST one of the above feelings.

Like I said in my earlier post...if you have never gotten a rejection letter, then you can't even imagine what it's like.

Folks can say "don't be bitter" all day long, but believe me, if you get a reject letter, YOU WILL BE BITTER, to some degree, on some level, whether you're in denial about it or not. My heart was in the right place - in my heart I always knew that when my time came, I would become a member of Delta Sigma Theta, and I did. Yes, I was disappointed, but I was also EXTREMELY BITTER when I got rejected.

And as far as the "don't hate on others" remark - mmm...I follow this rule - DON'T HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE GAME. I didn't "hate on" the girls who I knew had less stellar credentials than I did - shoot, they were lucky, so I wasn't mad at them. I HATED THE GAME that the Deltas played on me and several others who had gotten rejected. When the two Deltas who hand delivered my reject letter could barely contain their smirks and haughty giggles - YEAH, I HATED THE GAME.

So again, I'll close with this advice:
1. To those who may get a rejection letter, I am not going to say, "don't be bitter", BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I WOULD BE ASKING THE IMPOSSIBLE since I've been there. But I will say this - try not to STAY bitter.
2. DON'T HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE GAME.

[evilina]

Well on my campus to let my interest be known i make it a point to as many of the functions for the org. as i can. let them see my face without being thought to pushy. a few of my mentors are members in the org. so i express most of my concerns and ques. to them. but as far as what i do is concerned.......


No. 1 on my list

Getting and maintaining a goodstanding G.P.A I would love to wear the org. letters accross my chest grades are not everything but they matter (especially to me) and I pride myself on my studies.

next, keeping up with my community service. Giving back is so important and not just for personal gain.

and finally i just be me like it was mentioned b4 there is a reason and a time for everything so just be patient.

A quote form my mother," Be patient and persistent , not pig headed and pushy."