Disappointed in Membership

[AXO Alum]

Originally posted by mccoyred:
...defensive...???

Yes we do get defensive on this issue -- I guess some of the NPHC members would never get defensive over anything.

[Gina_lynn]

I guess I feel a little differenly about this subject than my sorors and sisterfriends. I think that if your friend has become disillusioned with her current org. It's probably because she sees a legitimate problem, and based on the vow that we all took (may have been different words, but the same idea) she owes it to her org and herself to seek leadership and try to change things. All of our org. are based on (basically)sisterhood scholarship,service,finer womanhood, greater progress.. ect. You knew that much goin in. Always remember though, that charity begins at home.

To my sorors and sisterfriends: You know good and well that there are/were somethings about your org. that you didn't know, or didn't know you weren't going to like about your chapter/region/org. before you were initiated. They may not have been enough for you to have wanted to quit, but you don't know what she saw.

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If you can't raise conciousness, at least raise hell!--Rita Mae Brown

[AXO Alum]

Originally posted by Ideal08:
AlphaChiGirl,

Can you de-activate from your sorority? Once you de-activate, is it then as if you are not in a sorority? If so, once de-activating, can you join another sorority? I am asking these questions out of general curiousity, not trying to start anything.

Now, I'm going to pose some questions, not to rile anyone, but to provoke a little thinking. And this is not just for NPC sororities or IFC frats, this is addressed to NPHC members as well.

What is the percentage of your members that remain active after graduation from undergrad? Meaning, active and financial? How many of you continue going to regional and national conferences after graduation? For those of you who have graduated already, how many people from your line (or pledge class) are still active and financial in your org?

Since AlphaChiGirl and I are in the same sorority, I wanted to just throw it out that there are ways to "quit" -- if you are an active collegiate sister, you could have your badge pulled (ie, kicked out - but it has to be something pretty serious) or you could turn your badge in (ie, quit) -- these are both formal procedures that includes signing confidentiallity forms, and an official "X" by your name in the books. After graduation, an alum may choose to just not be active anymore -- or she may choose to join an alum chapter. There are many ways to stay active, which include support to the collegiate chapter nearest you (if any), financial, and other support to the Fraternity as a whole.

As with everything in life, you get out what you put in times a million

I choose to stay very active as an alum -- including the nod for alum chapter president -- because I love working with and for my Fraternity. Some people can't due to time and family constraints. I don't hold that against them because I would rather them give 110% to their family than 1/2 % to the chapter that they don't really have time for anyway. I guess its going to be what you make it. I can't imagine not being involved, and look forward to every day that I get a step closer to my 75-year pin.

I don't know how you'd get numbers on actual people that stay in and contribute. We have some people that support us financially (which includes our philanthropy) but who can't attend our meetings or events. So they would be counted in our active numbers while not being truly "active" in the physical sense. We also have people who don't contribute financially, but are first in line when we're working at the shelters or having a drive for shelter donations. Everybody finds their place I guess.

I know people in both BGLO and GLO orgs that aren't active at all outside of a tag on their car.

But there is a myth out there that NPC membership is not for life - I'm not being defensive because, obviously, I'm living proof that it is. People get defensive on here every damn day -- its part of the drama that brings us back on here posting the same stuff over and over and over and over....

[AlphaChiGirl]

I feel as if my sister AXO Alum said it best. I have no idea what the percentages are, I'm sure that if I REALLY wanted to know, I could find out. For that matter I know just as many NPHC members who are inactive and/or financially delinquent after graduation as NPC or NIC members. That often seems to be forgotten. I do know for certain that you SHOULD not be able to join a group if you've already been INITIATED into another, your records stay for all time and eternity.

Also, yeah. I was defensive. It's not as if I'm the only person on here who gets defensive if her sorority/governing body is criticized. I tend to remember issues of what's considered esoteric, and what's considered hazing draw a few defensive posts (and quite a few rude emails, i might add).

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl:
I feel as if my sister AXO Alum said it best. I have no idea what the percentages are, I'm sure that if I REALLY wanted to know, I could find out. For that matter I know just as many NPHC members who are inactive and/or financially delinquent after graduation as NPC or NIC members. That often seems to be forgotten. I do know for certain that you SHOULD not be able to join a group if you've already been INITIATED into another, your records stay for all time and eternity.

Also, yeah. I was defensive. It's not as if I'm the only person on here who gets defensive if her sorority/governing body is criticized. I tend to remember issues of what's considered esoteric, and what's considered hazing draw a few defensive posts (and quite a few rude emails, i might add).

AlphaChiGirl,

I apologize for some of the comments made about NPC sororities and lifetime commitments. That's a bridge all of us GLO's need to cross...

Your philanthropies that your organizations support seem to me are organizationed mainly by your collegiate members and although it may extend after graduation, I want to know if your alumni chapters actively initiate separate "programs" of philanthropy to fulfill a need in your communities?

I know for my Sorority, the only one I can speak on, several years ago, we instituted the "Cleveland Jobs Corps". In my own graduate chapter, we sit on the boards for several "Headstart" programs making sure the needs of these daycare centers are met in our communities.

Does your Sorority do similarly? Excuse for my ignorance I just want to know. Please don't feel offended.

[amycat412]

Hi-

1. If you deactivate from on NPC org you cannot join another.

2. For my org--Chi Omega--our alumni group is very active at the local chapter AND with philanthropy of their own. The Alum group works with the children's cancer ward at a local university hospital. This is above and beyond our national philanthropy. We all stay active because we love our Fraternity, love the bond we share with our sisters and want to continue to experience all that while doing good in our community.

[SweetestDiva]

If it's truly in her heart (as should be the ONLY reason for joining any GLO, in my opinion) she should see this as an opportunity to change things around within the chapter and make things better for the future.

[33girl]

AKA_Monet,

Since you gave me a good response earlier I'll try and do the same.

My org's alumnae chapters can range in size from as little as five to as many as 60+ members. Obviously the smaller chapters will not be able to organize something on their own and their support of philanthropies will mostly be monetary. The larger chapters would have the manpower to create a community event and probably help the collegiate chapter with their events as well. It's very different for every alumnae chapter.

Also, there are only 4 NPHC sororities which I assume are fairly well distributed across the US. You can go to most any state and find members from each org. For the NPC groups, though, there are 26 of them and except for the hugest ones they are strong in different regions of the US. A group might be huge in the South and barely visible in the Northwest, or vice versa. So sometimes just getting 5 women together is a battle. I think NPC should be doing more to solve this, but that is a topic for another day.

Hope that cleared things up a little.

[Ideal08]

It seems as though my question may have been taken out of context. If you re-read my post, you will see that my question was posed to NPHC members as well. I am in no way implying that GLO's membership is not for life. We ALL have t-shirt wearers and tag bearers. And there is nothing wrong with getting defensive, I know if somebody says the wrong thing about my dear AKA, I'm going to be defensive, too. But understand this, in order to get an understanding of different traditions and whatnot between GLO's and BGLO's, conversations have to be had. I think that we can have conversations and disagree without getting bent out of shape about it. Everyone has an opinion. And as someone pointed out to me, just because we have different traditions, neither is right or wrong.

Now, here is a question. How do you feel about your members being allowed, if they so choose, to deactivate from your org? I know that I wouldn't like that at all. Once someone has deactivated (not getting their badge snatched, but on their own accord), can they re-join? Or are they out for good? I have another one! Do GLO's have alumni initiation, or can you only join as an undergrad?

Ok, I'm done, now. I think I've asked enough questions for one day!

And I'll answer my own question. I joined an alumni chapter, so my situation is a little different, since it's not going from undergrad to grad. However, out of the 17 lovely pearls on my line, 16 of us are still active. And I'm working on the other one!

[AXO Alum]

Originally posted by Ideal08:
But understand this, in order to get an understanding of different traditions and whatnot between GLO's and BGLO's, conversations have to be had. I think that we can have conversations and disagree without getting bent out of shape about it. Everyone has an opinion. And as someone pointed out to me, just because we have different traditions, neither is right or wrong.

Good post -- this is what we should be working toward !

I don't understand why some people choose not to be active after graduation. Like I said, I was very excited about going through our alum ceremony and I am looking forward to becoming alum president. I guess I can understand that for some people, they have been in a chapter for 4 years, and they need a mental break to decide where they're going, what they're doing, etc. Its our job as alums to continually send them our info to pull them back in. There is no formal deactivation after graduation (at least for AXO) so an alum sister can be inactive for years and then one day just pick back up. I don't necessarily like this, and I think our nationals is doing a great job of trying to keep alums active via career networking and alumni initiative programs.

If, however, an active collegiate sister decides to quit, and goes through the formal process of signing papers and all that, then no she is not allowed to re-join even as an alum.

Alpha Chi Omega does not as of yet have an alumni initiate program -- I know there are special circumstances for this, usually reserved for a mother who was unable to attend college but who has been very supportive to her daughter's chapter and the Fraternity. I also have heard that they are working on creating an alumni initiate program - which I would be VERY excited about.

I am always interested in hearing stories of people joining via alum chapters instead of undergrad chapters -- I think it speaks volumes about the quality of membership and I hope that our organziation does implement an alum initiate program.

AKA_Monet:

You stated:
Your philanthropies that your organizations support seem to me are organizationed mainly by your collegiate members and although it may extend after graduation, I want to know if your alumni chapters actively initiate separate "programs" of philanthropy to fulfill a need in your communities?

Again, I am not trying to speak for AlphaChiGirl, but since we are sisters I thought I would answer this -- we have a national philanthropy which is The Alpha Chi Omega Foundation. The foundation provides for our sisters in the event of a tragedy, or life changing situation. It also provides for programs such as "Kristen's Story" which is provided at college campuses and is a program about rape (sponsored in conjunction with Tri-Delta). Anyway, we also support victims of domestic violence. As a result, our individual collegiate chapters adopt a shelter(s) in their area that they work with. This includes a drive for supplies, babysitting, cleaning the shelter, etc.

From this, the alum chapters can either adopt their own shelters, or choose to work with the collegiate sisters -- some do both. Our alum chapter does both by collecting toiletries and other supplies for surrounding area shelters, but also coordinating babysitting and cleaning crews with the collegiate chapter. This will vary from collegiate to alum chapter, and depending on the size of the towns each is located in.

Hope this helps!

[blueberi1920]

I actually have heard of someone who did that, and she still isn't happy. It is ILLEGAL and not in good taste. Also the world isn't that small and with the internet, it's easy to find out anyone's history.

[AlphaChiGirl]

AKA Monet, I hope you aren't offended that it's taken me so long to reply. I don't know where my chapter would be if it weren't for 20-30 dedicated alumni (some from our chapter, some not) who have devoted so much of their own time and resources to helping us succeed! Philanthropically, alumnae are often the liasion between the collegiate chapter and community service things (through connections, etc.). Often, alumnae are more financially able to help us with philanthropical and altruism projects than they are able to physically, as well. As AXO Alum can tell you, we have a body of alumnae who travel throughout the nation for various outreaches, some of which you can read about on www.alphachiomega.org.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl:
AKA Monet, I hope you aren't offended that it's taken me so long to reply. I don't know where my chapter would be if it weren't for 20-30 dedicated alumni (some from our chapter, some not) who have devoted so much of their own time and resources to helping us succeed! Philanthropically, alumnae are often the liasion between the collegiate chapter and community service things (through connections, etc.). Often, alumnae are more financially able to help us with philanthropical and altruism projects than they are able to physically, as well. As AXO Alum can tell you, we have a body of alumnae who travel throughout the nation for various outreaches, some of which you can read about on www.alphachiomega.org.

OK. I checked out your site. There is plenty of information on it. However, it is structually different from many of the NPHC Sororities in regards to our communities service as undergraduates and Graduate members. I don't know how to explain it to you. But I can tell you it's different. You can visit my Sorority's site at
http://www.aka1908.com

If you disagree then email me back, ASAP!

[Katey Alpha Gam]

Once upon a time I thought of doing this too but then I realized that maybe my sisters in my chapter do bother me, but look to your other chapters, the may remind you of why you joined your sorority. The other sisters were right in saying it is illegal. You CAN be SUED by the sorority if they catch you. It's fraud. I don't know how your sorority works but in AGD you sign the book as a new member and that could be used against you in court. You do sign a binding agreement that you will not be fraudulent. Also, you might not like your sorority or your chapter, but regardless, think of the love and trust they have shown to you and just out of kindness return the favor. If you don't like it anymore, drop, but I would really give that some thought. I KNOW most sisters from time to time think about dropping b/c it is hard sometimes, even I have been ready to drop, but then something happens and I remember why I am here and why I still LOVE AGD!!!!

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Katey, ZA chapter of AGD
"Could I have been anyone other than me?"-Dave Matthews

[AKACubana]

I know two people that have done it:
Black Male- Joined a NPC Fraternity Freshman Year, then Senior Year joined Omega Psi Phi.
- Got away with it.

Black Female- Joined Zeta Phi Beta in Undergrad and Alpha Kappa Apha Grad. Saw one of her linesisters form Zeta Phi Beta and got caught.

So I advise you to walk away from your current chapter and take some time to reflect upon why you chose that Org. in the first place. Did it ever occur to you to just walk away completely (both orgs)?

Sp00
#2-Castro
Gamma Epsilon