Recession Proof Dating? Is there such a thing?

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

o.k. guys this post just scared the crap out of me.

Why?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Why?

I mean everything she said was negative. Not so much the sharing part, because I'm all about that. But the part about changing after the papers are signed. Then she said not eveyone is cut out for it. She tried it twice and it still didn't work.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

o.k. guys this post just scared the crap out of me.

There are plenty of people that doesn't happen to. Personally, I think I'd have found out had I lived with them first, but I never did. However, I did point out that I have very little tolerance for others' shortcomings (like not putting things away where they found them). That's my own flaw, but now that I recognize it, I know I couldn't live with someone again.

ETA: I should have recognized those things about myself because almost every college roommate I had drove me absolutely up a wall with their bad habits. Yes, I have bad habits too, but I'm ok with mine. It's other people's I can't deal with!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by AGDee

There are plenty of people that doesn't happen to. Personally, I think I'd have found out had I lived with them first, but I never did. However, I did point out that I have very little tolerance for others' shortcomings (like not putting things away where they found them). That's my own flaw, but now that I recognize it, I know I couldn't live with someone again.

ETA: I should have recognized those things about myself because almost every college roommate I had drove me absolutely up a wall with their bad habits. Yes, I have bad habits too, but I'm ok with mine. It's other people's I can't deal with!

o.k. so then it's you. Not them. You said that they changed once the papers were signed. What about you? Did you change? So was it you that was the common denominator of the problems in both of your marriages? Dee, I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just asking.

[agzg]

Whoa. I think you went a little too far there. Stay in your lane, please.

[nittanyalum]

Wow, this thread took a turn somewhere - I didn't click in for a long time because of the "dating" title, but then I glance through and it turned into a singles vs. married thread! Reminded me of that SATC episode. I don't know, folks, all I got out of this so far is some of you need to get better friends and some need better taste in men. I know a whole bunch of happy, fun, cool married folks and some really miserable, lonely single folks. And just for the record, we don't find those single folks all that fun to go out with either, all they do is complain about their last boy/girlfriend, how they can't find a boy/girlfriend, how there are no good men/women left, etc. See? Turnabout's fair play, right?

[agzg]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Wow, this thread took a turn somewhere - I didn't click in for a long time because of the "dating" title, but then I glance through and it turned into a singles vs. married thread! Reminded me of that SATC episode. I don't know, folks, all I got out of this so far is some of you need to get better friends and some need better taste in men. I know a whole bunch of happy, fun, cool married folks and some really miserable, lonely single folks. And just for the record, we don't find those single folks all that fun to go out with either, all they do is complain about their last boy/girlfriend, how they can't find a boy/girlfriend, how there are no good men/women left, etc. See? Turnabout's fair play, right?

I think you're right. Obviously, because there is at least one married couple that I enjoy hanging out with. And I definitely have some miserable single friends.

I guess that's my silver lining for moving away to Chicago and putting 8 hours between me and these friends.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

Wow, this thread took a turn somewhere - I didn't click in for a long time because of the "dating" title, but then I glance through and it turned into a singles vs. married thread! Reminded me of that SATC episode. I don't know, folks, all I got out of this so far is some of you need to get better friends and some need better taste in men. I know a whole bunch of happy, fun, cool married folks and some really miserable, lonely single folks. And just for the record, we don't find those single folks all that fun to go out with either, all they do is complain about their last boy/girlfriend, how they can't find a boy/girlfriend, how there are no good men/women left, etc. See? Turnabout's fair play, right?

Exactly! It definitely works both ways - I think the people who constantly talk about their courtships are generally the people who constantly talk about themselves anyway; more of a "self-absorbed" thing than a marriage thing.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

Exactly! It definitely works both ways - I think the people who constantly talk about their courtships are generally the people who constantly talk about themselves anyway; more of a "self-absorbed" thing than a marriage thing.

And! These will be the same people who talk about their kids all the time.

I think a lot of it comes down to not having much of a life outside of the relationship. You don't have a lot of other things to talk about; ergo, you talk about the relationship all the time. I have a few friends--single and married--who are guilty of this.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I think a lot of it comes down to not having much of a life outside of the relationship. You don't have a lot of other things to talk about; ergo, you talk about the relationship all the time. I have a few friends--single and married--who are guilty of this.

Yep. And like you said, they're the heli-moms of our future.

First they have nothing to talk about except wedding, then they have nothing to talk about except hubby, then kids, then it's their kid's ACTIVITIES they become obsessed with because well, there's nothing left.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

And! These will be the same people who talk about their kids all the time.

I think a lot of it comes down to not having much of a life outside of the relationship. You don't have a lot of other things to talk about; ergo, you talk about the relationship all the time. I have a few friends--single and married--who are guilty of this.

True...if there's nothing else going on in their lives, and they have nothing else to talk about, they'll just focus on talking about each other and the marriage.

[nikki1920]

AGDee: thanks for the flipside of the Marriage. I want to know the good and the bad. I know every relationship is different and has its own issues, so thank you and *applause* for sharing your experiences.

[christiangirl]

^^^Mmmm....a loft full of soft, sweet-smelling hay....horsey noises in the background. I dig.

[agzg]

SRSLY I love live-in to pieces but that doesn't mean I want to be with him *all* the time. Lately I've been sleeping in the second bedroom because he's been sick. It's not so much so I won't get sick, but more so he can get a few good night's rests without me waking him up so that he rolls over (he only snores when he sleeps on his back).

I really miss my apartment in Pittsburgh. I had three closets, all for me, and one was big enough to fit a twin sized bed in! And my own bedroom and I could pee with the bathroom door open! I know that seems weird but it was just so exciting to be able to do whatever I wanted when I wanted. It was a really tiny apartment (the one huge closet was just a fluke) but it was perfect for one person and the only real drawback was the tiny kitchen.

My kitchen is big now, I made sure of that. I like our apartment here too but my apartment in Pgh let in a lot more light - here we're right next to the building next door and most of our windows are on the side.

[MTSUGURL]

My best friends are a married couple that I just got to be friends with right before their wedding. We've known each other for almost 10 years now, and they've been right there with me through every awful relationship and absolutely love the current guy. I've been with them through problems in their marriage and the births of their three boys. They've been invaluable to me in so many ways, although there are times I do have to be with my single friends. There are times that being with the married friends is a little much, and yes, lots of our activities revolve around or at least include the boys, but they've known me as "Aunt Crystal" since they were born and I absolutely love them. We were friends in college and all of our families live in different towns, so we've basically been an extended family to each other. The boyfriend and I see them at least once a week and even kick the friends out for a night alone while we take care of the boys.

Now, I also have another married couple that we're fairly close to that drive me insane because they can't be apart for more than 15 minutes without calling each other constantly. I mean really - do you have to call him or text him every five minutes when we're hanging out?