Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[OneTimeSBX]

OMG!! i cant believe i forgot one of the worst weddings ever...

1. the bride lost her shoes. and it took 1 1/2 hours to find them.

2. the bridesmaids (all 8 or 9 of them) walked in to "Ribbon in the Sky"...but they had so far to walk, and there were so many of them, the song ran out, and someone thought nobody would notice if they just held the rewind button and start the song over in the middle. besides the fact that you could HEAR THE CD being skipped backwards, they had to redo it. three times.

3. the groom was african, and so was the pastor. whether they actually got married, only they know. i didnt understand a damn thing.

4. the reception started 2 hours late. she came in from her 4 billion pics, cut the cake, tossed the bouquet, did a toast, and left. no first dance, nothing. apparently they had a flight to catch for their honeymoon that same evening. they didnt even get to eat...and trust me, this reception was at least 10k. instead of getting served salad, then entree, then dessert, all three were waiting on the table, and they told us just to come sit and eat, dont worry about place cards or saying grace!!

her mother was super pissed, when, 6 months later, her daugher returned with a newborn (apparently she was expecting during this whole event and nobody knew). she hasnt returned back to her husband since. i think that was almost 7 years ago...

[AChiOhSnap]

Neither of these happened at weddings I actually attended, but people still get a kick out of them. Here are the two bad wedding stories...

1. I worked as a receptionist in a chiropractic office in high school. One patient that regularly came in was very much a hick. I don't mean to be mean, because she was a very nice lady. However, she was straight up redneck: we would have to remind her not to go barefoot around in our office because her feet were gross and unsanitary, and she would always post-date her payments to us about a week (because she was always just one step ahead of overdrawing her account and the collections agency) until we started demanding she pay in cash, etc. etc.

Anyway, this woman -- we'll call her Dawnna -- was incredibly friendly and always eager to share the goings on of her life to the office staff. One day came in with pictures from her half-sister's wedding. Nobody knew Dawnna's sister or anything, but we were happy to look at the pictures. I guess whatever Dawnna's social condition was ran in the family: it was the most atrocious wedding I've ever seen.

Dawnna's sister, Shawnna, was 8mos pregnant which is fine, whatever, I don't look down on pregnant women getting married except the princess seamed dress actually actually splitting at the seams because it hadn't be altered correctly. Not to mention the fact that Shawnna was significantly overweight and the spaghetti straps were far too tight and cutting into her shoulders. However, Shawnna had apparently found the money to make one alteration to her dress: in honor of her unborn baby, Shawnna got a gigantic butterfly tattooed from shoulder to shoulder and down to her mid back. She had her seamstress alter the dress to make it backless in order to showcase her butterfly tat.

The cake: the bride and groom's senior pictures (not a picture of the two of them together, but side-by-side senior pictures scanned onto the cake. Mullets and all.) The bridesmaids: the bride was only 18 and 7 months out of high school, so she had all the bridesmaids re-wear their prom dresses. The ceremony: performed by Shawnna and Dawnna's dad (who was a minister) under one of those horrific balloon arches in the VFW hall. Reception: VFW hall with cheese 'n' cracker platter. Standing room only. The guests: Many high school friends, drunkenly packed into the very tiny VFW hall. Flasks abounded in the pictures.

Dawnna, naturally, got misty-eyed when showing us the pictures saying it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Good for Dawnna, I bet it was fun. Later on that year, Dawnna made me and the other staffers Christmas ornaments made out of -- I shit you not -- dried applesauce formed into a heart shape. I don't get it either. But bless Dawnna, she really was a very sweet woman.

2. Through college, I worked summers as a receptionist at a local country club. The country club is located in a very tony zip code of a very wealthy suburb, so you'd think that weddings there would be the epitome of class and style, and most were. One wedding, however, was so indescribable that I actually had to call a friend to "run something over" to my work so he could see it for himself....

This woman, let's call her Julie, was getting married for the second time. She had one attendant, her 11 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I knew something was going to go horribly wrong when the catering manager stopped by my desk a half-hour before Julie's ceremony was supposed to start in the club garden. The catering manager exasperatedly complained that she didn't think the bride and groom were going to "go through with it" and stomped off in frustration. Ooooh boy, I thought, I'm in for good old-fashioned freakshow. And I was not disappointed.

The highlights:
- Julie's and her fiance went through the ceremony with the minister but the fiance refused to sign the marriage license.
- Julie's 11 y.o. daughter flounced into the reception in a pink mini-dress with those ripped-up looking handkerchief hems (you could see her butt when the wind blew). The dress had S&M style metal rings down the front, with a white lace ribbon criss-crossed through. Great for an adult halloween costume, totally inappropriate for a preteen. The daughter actually told me she didn't like the dress but her mom picked it out for her.
- Julie and the fiance spent the majority of the reception screaming at each other on the club patio while the minister tried to mediate.
- At one point, Julie walked by my desk and through tears demanded that I call her a cab so she could leave. Julie's dad marched over to me, pointed a finger in my face and growled "Don't you dare call that cab." I smiled politely and told them I was going on my dinner break and I would be happy to do whatever it was they decided when I got back.
- Julie's fiance finally, FINALLY signed the license after two hours of screaming, but not before the best man drunkenly tried to punch the minister because the minister wasn't "minding his own business." The minister quickly ran out.
- One guest brought an escort. An actual bonafide prostitute. I know she was an escort because she wore a 1980s red taffeta minidress with a sequined halter bodice, was at least 50 years old and incredibly haggard looking, and asked her date (decked out in his finest Don Johnson "Miami Vice" gear) "what do you do for a living, honey?" Totally awesome.
- One poor old woman started choking on the chicken dinner at the reception. The heimlich worked, but I still had to dial 911. The paramedics pretty much broke up the party. The bride left in tears.

I LOVE bad weddings!

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

from a post I made earlier in the "ghetto weddings" thread:

Oh my goodness. Y'all have some funny stories. Here's mine:

My college roomate grew up in the same town I attended school. She still kept in touch with her people from high school who didn't go to college or remained in the area, so i kinda "hung out" with all of them when i wanted to get away from the campus crowd. SO.... our 1st year the roomate's ex-boyfriend made it known that he was going to try to reconcile with her, but she gave him no play. His retaliation: MARRYING ANOTHER GIRL THEY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH.

No one took them seriously, so my roomate was like, I'll do anything to get u out of my life In about two weeks time, all the planning was done. We throw the girl a bridal shower and a bachelorette party because we were bored one weekend, and these two fools get married the next day in the bride's parents home. She comes down the stairs to K-Ci and JoJo's "All My Life" and is wearing her PROM DRESS... i lie to you not! the prom pictures were still on the mantle / altar. Her father officiates the wedding and that doesn't seem to bad right? WRONG!

This man stops the wedding to ask if the groom knows Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior... and we waited for him to respond.

and waited
.
.
.

and waited
.
.
.

I was in there CRYIN b/c the groom had this look on his face like, umm... can i get back to u on that? So after a definite pause, the bride's father / minister just starts praying and in the prayer says that this marriage will not be accepted in the Kingdom unless the groom repents and opens up his heart! We prayed for like 30 minutes until the groom finally realizes that this man was NOT going to finish the ceremony until he prayed the "Prayer of Salvation"... we were in the living room / church CRYING b/c we were trying to hold our laughter and the bride's father/ minister and other family members thought we were "moved by the Spirit"... after the wedding - the Bride gets into an argument with her father, gets her things from her bedroom, and declares, "I'm leaving! Don't ask when I'll be back!" and storms out of the house. Now we were laughing out loud and i had to run to the car b/c this mess was the absolute worst! So obviously, there is no reception. what do we do after the wedding you ask? We drive through the city (a caravan of like 5 cars full of college students and recent H.S. graduates) running red lights, honking our horns and blinking our lights, and we end up at the groom's apartment. Before we walk in the door he was like, "Hold on y'all, I promised my wife i would do this for her"... the groom runs into the house and turns on the stereo to DMX - Get At Me Dog and the proceeds to carry his bride over the threshold. We all enter the house and the newlyweds were like, "Make yourselves comfortable. Y'all can check the refigerator or order some pizza or something. We're about to have our honeymoon."
I had honestly blocked this ENTIRE weekend from memory until i started reading these posts. Thanks GC for giving me a good laugh for the rest of the week!

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Okay, reading y'alls reminds me of two more . (I think being greek means you have more weddings to go to, hence more stories).

One of my sisters was getting married on Galveston Island in Texas. She was married in beautiful Victorian-era St. Patrick's Cathedral. The bride and bridesmaids came to the wedding in a trolley with a big sign that said "Get me to the church on time!" So far - cute!
So we are in this gorgeous, recently restored cathedral. The organ starts, and a high-pitched nasally soprano starts singing. "OOOOOOOO. . .my loooooooove, my daaaaarrrlliiinnng, I've hungered for your touch . . . " Yep, "Unchained Melody". We are stifling giggles in the Gamma Phi section. Next up - "Ave Maria". The bride had had medical problems as a child, and the Virgin Mary was her patron saint. She had a bouquet to lay at the feet of a lovely carved statue of Our Lady at the front of the cathedral. Somehow, no one had noticed that Lisa is about 5' tall, and the foot of the statue is about 6' off the ground. She attempts to place the bouquet - no luck. She jumps - again, no dice. Finally a groomsman comes to her aid.
The reception was at Moody Gardens, and very tasteful. HOWEVER - she had an "undersea" theme, and the centerpieces included long, tall vases with goldfish. Real goldfish. Who had apparently been there some time, without enough oxygen. Dead fish at the wedding is not a good thing.

I have a thing about weddings that are taken over by the photographer. I was at a wedding for a fraternity brother of my (ex) husband. After 30 minutes of sitting and waiting for the happy couple to emerge from pictures, we left, went to a bar, had a few drinks and went back. The groom wasn't thrilled, but I think you have an obligation to let your guests at least go get a seat in the church hall and have some punch while you take a bizillion pictures. We went back, behaved ourselves, and ate our sheet cake and drank our Hawaiian Punch.

Originally Posted by AChiOhSnap

Neither of these happened at weddings I actually attended, but people still get a kick out of them. Here are the two bad wedding stories...

1. I worked as a receptionist in a chiropractic office in high school. One patient that regularly came in was very much a hick. I don't mean to be mean, because she was a very nice lady. However, she was straight up redneck: we would have to remind her not to go barefoot around in our office because her feet were gross and unsanitary, and she would always post-date her payments to us about a week (because she was always just one step ahead of overdrawing her account and the collections agency) until we started demanding she pay in cash, etc. etc.

Anyway, this woman -- we'll call her Dawnna -- was incredibly friendly and always eager to share the goings on of her life to the office staff. One day came in with pictures from her half-sister's wedding. Nobody knew Dawnna's sister or anything, but we were happy to look at the pictures. I guess whatever Dawnna's social condition was ran in the family: it was the most atrocious wedding I've ever seen.

Dawnna's sister, Shawnna, was 8mos pregnant which is fine, whatever, I don't look down on pregnant women getting married except the princess seamed dress actually actually splitting at the seams because it hadn't be altered correctly. Not to mention the fact that Shawnna was significantly overweight and the spaghetti straps were far too tight and cutting into her shoulders. However, Shawnna had apparently found the money to make one alteration to her dress: in honor of her unborn baby, Shawnna got a gigantic butterfly tattooed from shoulder to shoulder and down to her mid back. She had her seamstress alter the dress to make it backless in order to showcase her butterfly tat.

The cake: the bride and groom's senior pictures (not a picture of the two of them together, but side-by-side senior pictures scanned onto the cake. Mullets and all.) The bridesmaids: the bride was only 18 and 7 months out of high school, so she had all the bridesmaids re-wear their prom dresses. The ceremony: performed by Shawnna and Dawnna's dad (who was a minister) under one of those horrific balloon arches in the VFW hall. Reception: VFW hall with cheese 'n' cracker platter. Standing room only. The guests: Many high school friends, drunkenly packed into the very tiny VFW hall. Flasks abounded in the pictures.

Dawnna, naturally, got misty-eyed when showing us the pictures saying it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Good for Dawnna, I bet it was fun. Later on that year, Dawnna made me and the other staffers Christmas ornaments made out of -- I shit you not -- dried applesauce formed into a heart shape. I don't get it either. But bless Dawnna, she really was a very sweet woman.

2. Through college, I worked summers as a receptionist at a local country club. The country club is located in a very tony zip code of a very wealthy suburb, so you'd think that weddings there would be the epitome of class and style, and most were. One wedding, however, was so indescribable that I actually had to call a friend to "run something over" to my work so he could see it for himself....

This woman, let's call her Julie, was getting married for the second time. She had one attendant, her 11 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I knew something was going to go horribly wrong when the catering manager stopped by my desk a half-hour before Julie's ceremony was supposed to start in the club garden. The catering manager exasperatedly complained that she didn't think the bride and groom were going to "go through with it" and stomped off in frustration. Ooooh boy, I thought, I'm in for good old-fashioned freakshow. And I was not disappointed.

The highlights:
- Julie's and her fiance went through the ceremony with the minister but the fiance refused to sign the marriage license.
- Julie's 11 y.o. daughter flounced into the reception in a pink mini-dress with those ripped-up looking handkerchief hems (you could see her butt when the wind blew). The dress had S&M style metal rings down the front, with a white lace ribbon criss-crossed through. Great for an adult halloween costume, totally inappropriate for a preteen. The daughter actually told me she didn't like the dress but her mom picked it out for her.
- Julie and the fiance spent the majority of the reception screaming at each other on the club patio while the minister tried to mediate.
- At one point, Julie walked by my desk and through tears demanded that I call her a cab so she could leave. Julie's dad marched over to me, pointed a finger in my face and growled "Don't you dare call that cab." I smiled politely and told them I was going on my dinner break and I would be happy to do whatever it was they decided when I got back.
- Julie's fiance finally, FINALLY signed the license after two hours of screaming, but not before the best man drunkenly tried to punch the minister because the minister wasn't "minding his own business." The minister quickly ran out.
- One guest brought an escort. An actual bonafide prostitute. I know she was an escort because she wore a 1980s red taffeta minidress with a sequined halter bodice, was at least 50 years old and incredibly haggard looking, and asked her date (decked out in his finest Don Johnson "Miami Vice" gear) "what do you do for a living, honey?" Totally awesome.
- One poor old woman started choking on the chicken dinner at the reception. The heimlich worked, but I still had to dial 911. The paramedics pretty much broke up the party. The bride left in tears.
I LOVE bad weddings!

OMFG, ROTFLMAO, GTFOOHWTBS i am dying over here! i have tears in my eyes and because i can't laugh as loud and as hard as i want to i am practically dying in my cube!!!!!!!!!

[Kevin]

It's going to be my cousin's. She's having it webcasted from Vegas.

[SWTXBelle]

1.) Will she be married by "Elvis"?
2.) Does webcasting mean you don't have to go?

[ZeroCool]

My worst: I went with my parents. And they were the only people I knew. End of story.

[honeychile]

I haven't been to one that was a total trainwreck, but if you put all of these together, you'd have one.

-The NPC sister who invited many of my sorority sisters to her wedding. The wedding was wonderful, but at the reception:
--There were cold cuts and jello molds at the buffet, with nothing else.
--The radio was played for the entertainment. The highlight was the disc jockey announcing that he understands that he's the entertainment for the wedding of Sharon and Dave, so Mazel Tov. Then he played "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights".
--The Best Man's toast included the old phrase about not buying the cow.
--Cash bar. Need I say more?

-At a sister's wedding, the soloist took ill the day before, so her stand-in appeared, without her knowledge. She sang so badly, you can hear her on the tape, saying, "What is that awful screeching?!!!" You can see most of the guests staring at the soloist in shock.

-I didn't attend this one, but my parents did. Our redneck neighbors (who have thankfully moved) had the standard firehall wedding. The bride's uncle wore his best t-shirt, stating "Boogey Til You Puke" in glitter. Said shirt did not cover "the Great American Crack Problem", and he wore a cowboy hat to match his t-shirt. I guess that means he was fashionably coordinated in his book. Uncle Bubba, who was a studly 350+ pounds, pulled a chair up to the buffet, got himself a fork & spoon, and ate directly out of the various bowls and platters. My parents decided that they weren't that hungry and left.

[Rudey]

I'm so happy I don't have any of your friends as my friends.

-Rudey

[AKA_Monet]

My MIL said my wedding was the worst wedding she has ever attended...

The thing is my husband and I eloped. Then we had a "wedding ceremony" at a destination location for our families. We probably should have taken that $8K to $10K and put it toward a stock fund for the house...

[SWTXBelle]

She SAID that to you???Your MIL said that to you???

[ASUADPi]

Wedding #1- I was in this wedding. It was supposed to start at 4pm. We were all there by like 1 to get ready and get pictures done. We still started 30minutes late. They had their friend, who had just become "internet" ordained, perform the ceremony. The ceremony wasn't bad actually, it was afterwords. The pictures took like an hour, just for the bridal party. So we then go to be "hostesses" for the guests who are mingling and drinking soda (no alcohol because the groom didn't turn 21 for another 6 weeks, she was 24). They finally show up about 45 minutes later. They didn't have a DJ, to save on money, but decided to burn CD's with their favorite music. Problem with that is that all their favorite music was music you COULDN'T DANCE TOO! The only dancing anyone did was them, for their first dance, which was choreographed. Guests started booking right after the cake. As a bridesmaid, me and my friend, who were going to be crashing at their apartment that night, had to figure out when we could make a "graceful" exit. We were both exhausted, bored and uncomfortable (neither one of our dresses really fit us well by the time the wedding rolled around).
Then the next day we got bitched out by the bride. See during their pictures we (the bridesmaids, maid and matron of honor) had gone to the bridal suite and put flower petels on the pillows and on the comforter and around the room. We put on some soothing, romantic music, we dolled the room up. Well, it turned out that the petals, bleed into the white comforter. So instead of being grateful for what we did she yelled at us and chewed us out for like 10 minutes and it was only me and my friend Tania, who got the crap. We were beyond pissed that she was treating us this way. Neither one of us talked to her for quite some time, not until she apologized for her behavior. The stupid thing was, all she did was call the front desk and tell the manager "my bridal party tried to do something nice for us and the comforter got ruined". Did she get charged? NO!!! But then she still screamed at us. Talk about gratitude

Wedding #2- this was a sisters wedding. The ceremony was fine but afterwords was just bad. Her pictures took an hour and a half to get done. They didn't have anything set up for the guests, the DJ wasn't playing, drinks weren't available and appetizers weren't even being served. When it was finally time for dinner, it was a buffet line and the DJ went table by table. My table was the LAST to get to the buffet line and when we got there most of the food was gone and it was COLD. We go back to the table to eat and the other half of the room, which got their food like 30-45 minutes before us was done and they were bored, this included the bridal party! We literally got like 10 minutes to eat before the "festivities" started. The rest of the reception wasn't really that bad, the dinner was just horrible. Made me realize that I would never do a buffet.
I also got annoyed with my sister, her wedding was on my birthday. She knew it was my birthday. She saw me many times during the reception and she not once wished me a happy birthday. I undstand that it was her special day, but in some respects your birthday is your special day, all I wish was that she had ACKNOWLEDGED it. I wasn't wanting her to stop everything and have her friends and family sing happy birthday to me. But to have her say "thank you so much for coming to my wedding. happy birthday" would have been nice.
I got a card, but because I'm not married, I haven't heard from her in 2 years.

[Still BLUTANG]

my friends know better than to get married on my b-day. i declined a wedding invitation from a CLOSE FRIEND who got married on my b-day (my mom went instead); also my LS when planning her wedding said, we were thinking about this date... i shot her a look and said i love you but i wont be there. that was the end of that. LOL.

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

I also got annoyed with my sister, her wedding was on my birthday. She knew it was my birthday. She saw me many times during the reception and she not once wished me a happy birthday. I undstand that it was her special day, but in some respects your birthday is your special day, all I wish was that she had ACKNOWLEDGED it. I wasn't wanting her to stop everything and have her friends and family sing happy birthday to me. But to have her say "thank you so much for coming to my wedding. happy birthday" would have been nice.
I got a card, but because I'm not married, I haven't heard from her in 2 years.

[Siggy_lxvi]

Oh, God. This isn't a wedding story, yet, but more the trainwreck that is my current housemate's life.

At the beginning of April, I moved into my current house with some people I had met in a hurry because life had happened all over my shoes and moving fast was a necessity (in the middle of a semester, mind). As I'm moving in, the girl who's around most often makes some comments about wedding plans. It seems that about two months before I met her, she'd met a soldier at the bar who was imminent for being shipped to Afghanistan. He'd spent the night calling her his "wife" and saying they'd gotten married in Vegas by Elvis.

Fast-forward to April, and they're planning to fly to Vegas (with friends) and have Elvis marry them. Soldier-boy is, at this point, mere weeks from going to Afghanistan. Apparently, however, last minute flights to Vegas aren't really all that cheap, and finals week is fast approaching for my housemate and all her college-age friends. Not to mention that Solider-boy isn't acting all that keen on actually getting married. (My armchair psychiatric opinion: he's Catholic and a soldier being faced with his own mortality, combined with being an only son and wants a knocked-up wife before he goes off to war.) I swear the two of them break up and get re-engaged (if you can truly call it engaged without a ring or any real cooperation from the man involved) three times in the first two weeks I know her.

Soon enough, Soldier-boy ships out, and I think I've seen the end of it. NOT SO! Housemate girl is now looking into "getting married over the internet." When she finds out that that's just some website that makes fake little marriages for Junior-High-Schoolers who want to proclaim their undying love, she hears about "marriage through the mail." Which is apparently possible (as marriage-by-proxy), and has become all the rage as we're near a large military base and there's a war on and the soldiers are a bit worried that us smart, handsome Navy-men-turned-Jody at the University are going to steal their girlfriends if they don't marry them fast....

Eventually she becomes convinced that this isn't the best option, however, as it's difficult and requires more paperwork than a simple marriage license, and might actually require her to do something. Then Soldier-boy has a friend die and gets permission to travel back to the States with the body and visit his family. Don't ask me how that works, because I honestly don't know. His family is in Louisiana. He tells the girl not to bother coming to see him as he'll only be there a couple of days.

She doesn't listen and goes to see him, but in the meantime, she's decided she wants a baby, and has gone off her birth control. She comes home from her ill-planned adventure in Louisiana all aglow thinking that she's pregnant. Those of you who know much of anything about reproductive physiology will already know the outcome when I tell you that this girl is 22 and has been on the pill since she was sixteen, and had gone off the pill only long enough to have one period. Of course she's not pregnant. Her body hasn't caught up with the fact that she's stopped taking the pills. It might not do for YEARS yet. But little miss sunshine is prancing around the house for weeks thinking she's got a bun in the oven. She buys home testing kits and uses them daily until she finally goes to a doctor for a full-on test and her fantasy world comes crashing down around her with the news that, no, she's really not pregnant.

That's where things stand right now, though she seems to be planning a wedding for Soldier-boy's mid-deployment leave sometime in December. Thankfully, she's decided to get her own apartment, and will be moving out, so I won't have to see the end of this little fiasco.

[SWTXBelle]

Oh.My.

[ZTAngel]

Originally Posted by Siggy_lxvi

She doesn't listen and goes to see him, but in the meantime, she's decided she wants a baby, and has gone off her birth control. She comes home from her ill-planned adventure in Louisiana all aglow thinking that she's pregnant. Those of you who know much of anything about reproductive physiology will already know the outcome when I tell you that this girl is 22 and has been on the pill since she was sixteen, and had gone off the pill only long enough to have one period. Of course she's not pregnant. Her body hasn't caught up with the fact that she's stopped taking the pills. It might not do for YEARS yet.

Funny story. Just a side comment though. Women are fertile from the minute they go off the pill. It doesn't matter if they've been on the pill for 10 years or 1 month - they're fertile. That's why you hear of women who get pregnant when they screw up and forget to take their pill one day. In fact, from studies I've read, for some reason it's actually easier for women who have been on the pill to get pregnant than women who haven't. Just wanted to throw in that information in case any GCer who is currently on the pill gets freaked out with the thought that she might not be able to have a baby.

Anyhow, your roommate sounds like a very unique person.